When would you tell?

[dazeddaisy]

My mum lives overseas and is very ill and is not expected to live past Easter. (she was not supposed to live past Christmas). I am about to start a new job, and am wondering when would be the best time to tell my new managers about the potential death in the family? Or would you leave it and tell them when it happens?

If it was a local funeral it would not be an issue - but I will be away from work for at least a week.

 

[jaminmd]

My mum lives overseas and is very ill and is not expected to live past Easter. (she was not supposed to live past Christmas). I am about to start a new job, and am wondering when would be the best time to tell my new managers about the potential death in the family? Or would you leave it and tell them when it happens?

If it was a local funeral it would not be an issue - but I will be away from work for at least a week.

I wouldn't tell them. Sorry about your mom.

 

[Frye7127]

I am sorry about your mom, too. It must be hard living so far away...

As far as work, I wouldn't say anything.

 

[Reddy]

I'm sorry to hear about your mom (I wish that there was something that would help her)

I wouldn't tell them until you have too
sometimes people live alot longer than the doctors can say(or explain)

My Granddad said that he wouldn't make it another year for the last 11 of his life

 

[dazeddaisy]

Cheers. I was hoping you would say that.

I had told my old employers because my manager and I were good friends, and I had been there forever. I was chatting to my old manager and she said to tell them, but I felt I should say nothing until it happens. I thought I would ask public opinion

Thanks for the sympathy hugs.

 

[disney1990]

I would not tell. Nobody knows when somebody is going to die. I have seen people live far longer than "predicted by doctors" and other people drop dead unexpectantly.

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom -- I hope she proves the doctors wrong.

 

[pearlieq]

I also wouldn't mention anything. People never die "on schedule".

My mom was supposed to have "weeks" last August, which is fine because she was supposed to have 6-12 months 2 1/2 years ago. If you tell people at work, they'll be expecting it to be imminent and it very likely might not be.

 

[scrapquitler]

My mum lives overseas and is very ill and is not expected to live past Easter. (she was not supposed to live past Christmas). I am about to start a new job, and am wondering when would be the best time to tell my new managers about the potential death in the family? Or would you leave it and tell them when it happens?

If it was a local funeral it would not be an issue - but I will be away from work for at least a week.

I wouldn't mention it until it happens.

 

[arminnie]

I would not tell either. If you truly feel that you have to say something I would at most unofficially mention that your mother is very ill. No information about when she might die or how much time you might need.

And when you do lose your mother (I am so sorry, I've been in your position) discuss why you need at least a week. Yes you do, but sometimes people think you only need a day to get there, a day to attend, and a day to return.

My boss was a total moron, and spent all day calling me every two hours with requests the day my mother died at 6am and the next few days. Don't assume people have a shred of common sense. Most do, but there are always a few who don't. My boss was not a bad person, she just was clueless.