When worlds collide~the original flats meet in 4D!!

[jordanyosh]

This I"ve GOT to see; keep in mind that next year's Christmas cards will be wanting some material...

Yes, pink spandex with pluto something or other......

 

[winkers]

Only if you wear pink spandex..

This I"ve GOT to see; keep in mind that next year's Christmas cards will be wanting some material...

Yes, pink spandex with pluto something or other......

that would ensure me a one way ticket to the looney bin!

My family is already worried about me.

 

[jordanyosh]

that would ensure me a one way ticket to the looney bin!

My family is already worried about me.

your family aren't the only ones worried.

 

[winkers]

your family aren't the only ones worried.

pot....kettle.......

 

[All7OfUs]

Maybe we should start a group therapy session-

Wanted: Counselor for Pole Dancer Wannabe's, Distraught-over-no-end-of-trip-tradition DISsers, and those who've been assaulted by Pluto. Must have large sense of humor, and a big heart. Salary low, (they have no money left- it's all gone to the Mouse) benefits: Free advice on binder making. Risk: Quite large; people will wonder after some time, "What happened to you?".

 

[winkers]

Maybe we should start a group therapy session-

Wanted: Counselor for Pole Dancer Wannabe's, Distraught-over-no-end-of-trip-tradition DISsers, and those who've been assaulted by Pluto. Must have large sense of humor, and a big heart. Salary low, (they have no money left- it's all gone to the Mouse) benefits: Free advice on binder making. Risk: Quite large; people will wonder after some time, "What happened to you?".

just inhaled Dr. Pepper....

 

[jordanyosh]

pot....kettle.......

thank goodness no beverage or I woulda spit it out.

 

[jordanyosh]

Maybe we should start a group therapy session-

Wanted: Counselor for Pole Dancer Wannabe's, Distraught-over-no-end-of-trip-tradition DISsers, and those who've been assaulted by Pluto. Must have large sense of humor, and a big heart. Salary low, (they have no money left- it's all gone to the Mouse) benefits: Free advice on binder making. Risk: Quite large; people will wonder after some time, "What happened to you?".

Where does this stuff come from?

 

[winkers]

My aunt sent this to me and I had to share! It took me at least 30 minutes to stop laughing after I read it.




ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. .?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dip****,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . .. . . . . .

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?

IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P.S. My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!

 

[All7OfUs]

Still. laughing.


It's been a while since reading it.

 

[Charleston Princess]

I am wiping the tears from my eyes, I am laughing so hard.

 

[winkers]

Oopsie! I forgot that I gave a little tease about changes to the trip. I guess I should actually follow up on that.

To be honest, I've been preoccupied with farts and twilight over on Jordan's ptr.


The latest change is we are switching to POP and adding an extra day.

The resort change is mostly to cut costs and since we were doing that, why not add an extra day?

To any of my accountant friends, that would make no sense. But using fuzzy disney math it is the most practical move.

So we'll be there Feb 3-11.

The re-model is going as fast as a partially frozen slug going up hill. I can't wait untill the 19th when we leave for Utah. I've forgotten what it's like t o have full use of a kitchen and dinning room.

We'll be home on Jan 2 and I start my first quarter of college on the 4th, which will make time go by even faster! Before we know it, it will be vacation time!

 

[jordanyosh]

Oopsie! I forgot that I gave a little tease about changes to the trip. I guess I should actually follow up on that.

To be honest, I've been preoccupied with farts and twilight over on Jordan's ptr.


The latest change is we are switching to POP and adding an extra day.

The resort change is mostly to cut costs and since we were doing that, why not add an extra day?

To any of my accountant friends, that would make no sense. But using fuzzy disney math it is the most practical move.

So we'll be there Feb 3-11.

The re-model is going as fast as a partially frozen slug going up hill. I can't wait untill the 19th when we leave for Utah. I've forgotten what it's like t o have full use of a kitchen and dinning room.

We'll be home on Jan 2 and I start my first quarter of college on the 4th, which will make time go by even faster! Before we know it, it will be vacation time!

Yay! It's official!

On the 10th, we are at DHS!

 

[All7OfUs]

If it took sleeping on a space of grass at Disney in order to make a trip happen, I'd do it. According to Jordan, lots of people like to do that. Your move to POP seems like a good one, if you can add a day!! Can't go wrong with that.

Like frozen slugs is a bad pace for remodelling. Sorry it's taking so long!

I guess I missed something- didn't know you were going back to school. Taking what? (or just refer me to the post I missed)

 

[winkers]

Yay! It's official!

On the 10th, we are at DHS!

I think I'm going to have some schedule changes...

I guess I missed something- didn't know you were going back to school. Taking what? (or just refer me to the post I missed)

I'm not sure if I mentioned it before..I'm taking history and poly-sci. The plan is to teach high school. I always knew I would go back after my kids were all a little older, but now that it's time I'm a little scared.

 

[jordanyosh]

If it took sleeping on a space of grass at Disney in order to make a trip happen, I'd do it. According to Jordan, lots of people like to do that. Your move to POP seems like a good one, if you can add a day!! Can't go wrong with that.

Like frozen slugs is a bad pace for remodelling. Sorry it's taking so long!

I guess I missed something- didn't know you were going back to school. Taking what? (or just refer me to the post I missed)

I didn't know you were either or did I just have another middle-age moment.

If she's staying at Pop, she'll have to opportunity to run into me more often.

 

[winkers]

I didn't know you were either or did I just have another middle-age moment.

If she's staying at Pop, she'll have to opportunity to run into me more often.

I must not have mentioned it.


I can help you on your hunt for drunks.

 

[jordanyosh]

I must not have mentioned it.


I can help you on your hunt for drunks.

what are you going back to do?

you can make sure I'm not the star of my own drunk story again.

 

[All7OfUs]

Yes, do TELL!

In my second life (after Stink-a-Stan) I want to go back to school too. DH thinks I'd be a great Admin. Assistant or office manager. I think I'd be a great Disney travel agent. I'd really like to go into nursing though. Maybe Bek and I can study together?

 

[winkers]

what are you going back to do?

you can make sure I'm not the star of my own drunk story again.

I'm planning to get my teaching cert and teach high school history...it's what I've always wanted to do.

I can be your designated walker.

Yes, do TELL!

In my second life (after Stink-a-Stan) I want to go back to school too. DH thinks I'd be a great Admin. Assistant or office manager. I think I'd be a great Disney travel agent. I'd really like to go into nursing though. Maybe Bek and I can study together?

I worked as a nursing assistant in Labor and Delivery and loved it. I've thought about being an RN but the sight of needles makes me light headed, so probably not a good idea!

It's kinda funny because me and my 2 older sisters are all going back to school this year. I always knew that I would, but I wanted to have my family first.