when to be concerned about speech?

[bumbershoot]

My MIL told dh last weekend that dd needs to be in speech - right away because strangers can't understand 90% of what she says.

While I'm not going to offer an opinion on speech therapy one way or another - except to say there are many good ones already in this thread - I would be interested in knowing who these strangers are? Do they actually exist? Are they elderly (really elderly, not just percieved elderly ) persons who might have hearing impairments and who may not understand everything your daughter is saying because of her speed? Are they store employees who, perhaps, can't hear her (different from not understanding what she's saying) because she's shorter than the counter? Do they even actually exist, or could your MIL actually simply be projecting her son's childhood speech problems on your child? Could the 'strangers' actually BE your mother-in-law, and she just doesn't want to admit she can't understand (or hear) what your daughter's saying?

Good gracious, that is just what I was going to say.



You said your husband was in speech therapy b/c of his teeth...did it make a difference? Or when his baby teeth came out and permanents came in, did that fix the problem? My son has a bit of a lisp sometimes and doesn't always say L (but he CAN say it), and it's b/c of some missing teeth, plus DH has a bit of a lisp just b/c of how his teeth are...it's just the way it is, so if the slight lisp persists in DS I will figure it's just his teeth. (he has 3+ loose teeth right now, on top of the 2 that were extracted at 2 and the one that was lost at 6 months...so things are going to get worse very soon, but then it will get better).

But I'm pretty lax on a lot of speech stuff. After all, where would Barbara Walters be without her speech impediment (is that an OK word anymore? sorry if it isn't)?


But I would definitely make sure that this isn't just a MIL's hearing issue.

 

[Jennasis]

have her screened. It can't hurt and might give you ammo to tell MIL where to get off. Orrrrr, there is a genuine problem that can be fixed.

 

[iwrbnd]

This is how I look at speech therapy..."Can't hurt, might help."

Seriously, it's not invasive surgery and usually very fun for the child. If in doubt go ahead and get a speech evaluation! LIke I said, can't hurt might help!

 

[Ohiodislover]

It's a win/win situation to her speech evaluated. If everything is OK, you'll have peace of mind. If everything is not OK, you can get her the therapy she needs.

Great Advice.

An eval is quick and painless.

 

[krcit]

This is how I look at speech therapy..."Can't hurt, might help."

Seriously, it's not invasive surgery and usually very fun for the child. If in doubt go ahead and get a speech evaluation! LIke I said, can't hurt might help!

 

[marcyinPA]

I don't see what it could hurt to get her looked at.

I agree. If there is even the smallest question of a delay, have her evaluated. If the therapists don't think she needs the therapy, she won't qualify. At least then you know what you're dealing with! (FWIW...I teach 2 year olds, and we see speech delays quite a bit. We always suggest an eval if we feel, or if the parents feel, that there is a delay. The earlier you start working on the problem, the better the results!)

 

[MnMomtoboys]

Your school district has a dept for early special ed. Call them and set up an appt. They have 30 to 45 school days to finish and evaluation. It will take less than that cause you need to pass(or fail) each step to move on. These people are the best people to know whether or not your dd is having issues. And unless your doc. has had special training in this field they will know better than him(this is from personal experience).

From what it sounds like your dd will not qualify for speech through the school district but they can tell you if they think you need to go through ins.

Our 12 year was dx when he was 2 and started school then. And we have just gone through this with our 21/2 year old in Jan. He did not qualify and is now talking a lot and just started counting in Spanish. I swear he waited just to scare me.

You could even check if your district has the testing for kindergarten and see if they can test her now and answer any questions you have.

If your dd does have some speech issues its much easier on her to get her help at a younger age. The longer they go with speaking a certain way the harder it is for it to get corrected. I've known lots of kids that received help before school and never needed again.

 

[TeaToo!]

Wow I have been educated on speech therapy now. I opened this thread thinking "My goodness, she's only 3!" but after reading all of the replies I have to agree... it cant hurt and might help. My kids all had too much to say and too fast, and usually only me and/or dad could understand most of it. They out grew it. But if there is a bigger concern, I agree, just go.

Best of luck to your little one and her mommy!

 

[Val]

Be sure and have her hearing checked, too! My DD12 has been in speech therapy since age 2. At 4 she just wasn't improving, but she passed the hearing screening.....she failed kindergarten at 5. Speech therapist was concerned enough by then to recheck hearing.....she failed when they turned her around so she couldn't see the audiologist push the buttons (when the audi pushed the button she raised her hand and it turns out she was/is an incredible lip reader).

I had always thought of hearing loss as black/white deaf/hearing, but it is just not that simple. My daughter has bilateral mixed loss- both conductive (middle ear not working well) and nerve damage. Worse yet, the hearing fluctuates wildly for God only knows what reason(s). She got hearing aids in kindergarten, then repeated kindergarten and now does quite well academically and socially.

.....her speech is quite good with hearing aids in. Most people don't even know she has hearing loss when her aids are in and she is looking at people as they talk. She uses an FM system with her hearing aids at school, and other than phonics she is a straight A student. She has to learn her words via memorization rather than sounding words out. When her aids are out, however, even family can't understand a word she says and she misses an awful lot.

We NEVER suspected hearing loss.....caught us by surprise. It won't hurt to check this, too....the school can do this as well.

Good luck. A accidental outcome for us is our speech therapist and audi are now good friends (so is the ENT- we are on surgery #14 since she was 5 to correct some congenital problems). We have an incredible team that helps DD, and as a result she is a happy and bright child who excels at school......she even was on the speech team for grade 6- who'd have thought!

 

[luvmyfam444]

While I'm not going to offer an opinion on speech therapy one way or another - except to say there are many good ones already in this thread - I would be interested in knowing who these strangers are? Do they actually exist? Are they elderly (really elderly, not just percieved elderly ) persons who might have hearing impairments and who may not understand everything your daughter is saying because of her speed? Are they store employees who, perhaps, can't hear her (different from not understanding what she's saying) because she's shorter than the counter? Do they even actually exist, or could your MIL actually simply be projecting her son's childhood speech problems on your child? Could the 'strangers' actually BE your mother-in-law, and she just doesn't want to admit she can't understand (or hear) what your daughter's saying?

YEP! EXACTLY! We have no idea - she of course didn't tell us - but I'm pretty positive she's being comared to her cousin - who is a pretty smart little booger that's 6 months younger. He talks up a storm - & asks questions, really inquisitive -none of the 3 of mine have been that inquistive at that age. I don't know if he talks any clearer - haven't seen him since CHristmas - but the two of them could carry on a conversation no problem & the neighbor girl who is also 6months younger she plays with & talks to her & I haven't noticed anything & even asked that neighbor she's a g'ma in her early 50s & she didn't notice anything.....

BUt as far as strangers...she doesn't see any strangers - LOL if someone we know wants to talk to her she'll act shy & usually not say anything.

DH & I talked about just randomly going to strangers (or his coworkers) & having them ask her a question& take a poll to see if they can understand her LOL then that would be true strangers - HA HA!

 

[luvmyfam444]

Good gracious, that is just what I was going to say.



You said your husband was in speech therapy b/c of his teeth...did it make a difference? Or when his baby teeth came out and permanents came in, did that fix the problem? My son has a bit of a lisp sometimes and doesn't always say L (but he CAN say it), and it's b/c of some missing teeth, plus DH has a bit of a lisp just b/c of how his teeth are...it's just the way it is, so if the slight lisp persists in DS I will figure it's just his teeth. (he has 3+ loose teeth right now, on top of the 2 that were extracted at 2 and the one that was lost at 6 months...so things are going to get worse very soon, but then it will get better).

But I'm pretty lax on a lot of speech stuff. After all, where would Barbara Walters be without her speech impediment (is that an OK word anymore? sorry if it isn't)?


But I would definitely make sure that this isn't just a MIL's hearing issue.

Dh was in speech - but I don't know why (neither does he) I just know that he STILL doesn't speak clearly - his teeth were never fixed - he needs braces & his jaw broken & the works to get his teeth adjusted correctly.

 

[luvmyfam444]

have her screened. It can't hurt and might give you ammo to tell MIL where to get off. Orrrrr, there is a genuine problem that can be fixed.

Like the ammo....

 

[luvmyfam444]

DD hasn't had but maybe 2 ear infections in her life so I'm guessing there wouldn't be a fluid issue

and she seems to hear completely well -

but thanks for all the info

come to think of it I have a neighbor that deals with speech in the school - seems like its older kids (maybe middle school?) but I think she worked in private practice years ago. I can ask her opinion

I've taught preschool off & on for 10yrs so I've been around several kids with true speech problems -so I have been exposed a bit to other kids her age ...of course I'm not implying that I know - just someone commented on hearing other kids talk her age...

 

[luvmyfam444]

At 4 years old, strangers should be able to understand, at minimum, 80% of what your DD says. Your MIL is right. The school district will have to pay for an evaluation and for speech therapy if she qualifies. What you need to do is contact your school's special education office and find out who your Preschool Special Education Committee Chairperson is. Then you need to put in writing that you are referring your DD for a speech evaluation. You can have your doctor write the referral, but legally a parental referral holds the same weight. There are forms you'll need to fill out and they may wish/need to administer a full educational evaluation. After that is complete they will hold a meeting to determine your DD's eligibility and what services she'll receive.

This is what I'm interested in ...the %. She says 90%, where is that # from? I'm not debating it - I'd like to read about it specifically...is it of every word that comes out of her mouth? Is it 3,4 or 5yrs?

I'm don't mind taking her in - but knowing where to start helps - gonna go google some more & see what else I learn & let her talk with the neighbor - who I know talks to her every other day or so - BUT wouldn't necessarily ever tell me she needs therapy (without me asking) but if I mention it I bet she'll give me an opinion

 

[quasar4legs]

The issue could be your MIL's impaired hearing but if there is any doubt I would see a speech therapist.

When my son was 3 he had a stutter so I spoke to the pre-school he attended part-time and they felt it was normal dysfluency. I asked my GP and several friends including one that is a school Principal and all felt that it was not an issue given his age etc.

After several months I was still concerned and had my son evaluated by a speech therapist at a clinic at a local university. He needed over 12 months of therapy and his stutter was considered to be in the moderate range. Speech was one of his favourite activites in the week and today he has less dysfluency than than the average person so it was very helpful for our son.

You can ask lots of people for their opinion but if you are unsure I would seek expert help early.

Best wishes

 

[shortbun]

No harm in getting an evaluation. I took DS for one and with a little speech therapy, his baby talk and difficulty with certain letters was gone. There are also therapys for fast speech, stammering and on and on. I wanted to have his speech issues taken care of prior to school so he could clearly communicate. He's 14, almost 15 and every once in a while if he's really sick or tired, I hear a little of the old patterns.

 

[Sleepy]

This is what I'm interested in ...the %. She says 90%, where is that # from? I'm not debating it - I'd like to read about it specifically...is it of every word that comes out of her mouth? Is it 3,4 or 5yrs?

I'm don't mind taking her in - but knowing where to start helps - gonna go google some more & see what else I learn & let her talk with the neighbor - who I know talks to her every other day or so - BUT wouldn't necessarily ever tell me she needs therapy (without me asking) but if I mention it I bet she'll give me an opinion

My brother was in speech therapy from the age of 3. I was a year older than he was. I could understand exactly what he was saying. My parents could not.....not even one word. Mom said it was like we had a secret language of our own. i translated everything.

My brother now has a child of his own. Same thing, only my brother and his wife can translate that secret language. To everyone else, it was jibberish. There really is no other way to describe it. My mother and I tried for years to get my brother to have him evaluated/screened. I would say it was about 90% or more of the words that came out of his mouth that we did not understand. Talking on the phone it was 100% impossible to understand him. I had to carry on conversations with "Wow...Is that right?.....Tell me about it.....etc", because it was the only way to interact with him and make it seem like I understood him.

Remember that most people are not going to tell you your child speaks jibberish and probably wouldn't want to even if you approach them with the question. They may try to be polite and play it down a bit. Make sure you get the opinion by asking them if they never spoke to her before to understand "her" way of speaking, what would they think. Asking if they understand her is not answering the question you ask. It must be an opinion as if they were a stranger meeting her for the first time.

I saw my nephew last year when he was 5-1/2. He had spent a few months in speech and it was amazing how much he had improved, but still, most was jibberish. Consonant blends was nonexistent, anything that required the "K" sound came out sounding like a "d", because he wasn't controlling his tongue. He is now 6 and I can understand more, but it is still extremely difficult and I have to really listen to each pronunciation and figure out what "doach" is (it means coach). They should have had him in speech long before almost 6 years old. But, we were viewed as the interferring In-laws who were supposed to mind our own business. Could have helped my nephew avoid being teased in school for talking like a baby.

I say give MIL some slack. Kids should be speaking well by age 4. I had my son's hearing checked at age 2...almost 3. He could only make the sound "ba". He was not hearing most of the sounds in the soundproof chamber. They had already supplied information for the local elementary school that had a speech department. It was free. We took him for his evaluation/screening at the speech department of the school district and they came back out and said he was only hearing parts of the words spoken and reading our lips to make out the rest. I did not believe them. That seemed impossible to me. They said he needed tubes in his ears (he had many years of ear infections). 2 weeks after the tubes he had a normal vocabulary and spoke in sentences. Speech therapy was not needed in this case. Getting the child evaluated/ screened doesn't hurt. Good luck.

 

[RadioFanatic]

My sister is in your position. She wouldn't believe us that none of us could understand my adorable nephew with most of what he said. Finally, his pediatrician said something at his four year old appointment and he is now in speech therapy. I would talk to your pediatrician because they know what markers to look for to see if her speech is at his age level. In most areas, you can get speech therapy through the school system for free which is what my nephew is doing. good luck!

 

[HelenePA]

This is how I look at speech therapy..."Can't hurt, might help."

Seriously, it's not invasive surgery and usually very fun for the child. If in doubt go ahead and get a speech evaluation! LIke I said, can't hurt might help!

Yep! My dd LOVES going to speech.. they do all sorts of things besides talk. Crafts, coloring, the other day they let a set a ladybug free they found inside the "classroom" While they are doing other stuff they talk of course but its FUN for the kids. My dd has some sort of slight hearing impairment and will more than likely be getting tubes in May to see if that helps. she was also tongue tied ..

 

[Familyof4lovesDW]

Talk to your doctor and local school system. My dr did not think ds would qualify and he did. We had to do private speech through our insurance, which was a joke, because they only covered about 6 visits. No one told me to go to my school district, where it is free if they qualify. He had private speech in the winter (6 visits) and by the end of that school year I had him enrolled in the preschool for the next year. He went to the preschool for 2 years. They suggested waiting for K so that is why he went 2 years, but if I would have known what I do now he could have went for 3. If you are concerned contact the school for a free evaluation and you will know if she qualifies or not and if so she will get the help she needs and if not you can tell your mil she is fine.