When do you give in? Feeding issues with 12 month old DS

[skuttle]

DS will be one year old on Friday.. ...where does the time go?

Some of you may remember I posted a while back that DS was refusing table foods. He's gotten a little better. He'll east smashed bananas, tonight he ate green peas from a spoon...he still won't self feed though other than wagon wheels. After a few bites of peas, I put a few on the tray for him to pick up but all he did was throw them.

Also, he'll drink juice from a sippy cup but not his formula. We'll be transitioning to whole milk soon and I plan on doing that with the sippy so he doesn't associate that taste with his bottle.

At daycare he has been moved to the toddler room! This means he'll also be eating table food with the toddlers. If he doesn't eat, he'll have to wait to eat until the infant teacher is done feeding the infants and then can feed him. Hopefully this will help the transition to table food and self feeding.

My problem is how long do I fight with him before giving in and giving him baby food or the bottle? I don't want to starve him, but at the same time I don't want him to realize that if he cries long enough I'll give in. Any advice?

 

[Lewski709]

I remember you.

It took mine a week before he was ok with not having a bottle in the am at all. It was hard, we knew what he wanted, but we didn't give in.

They won't starve. They'll eat when they get hungry. But I don't think you should do everything all at the same time. Let him get used to one thing, then work on another.

Mine doesn't eat well some times and eats like a champ other times. It'll all work out.

 

[Jennyfyar]

I have two girls, 4 and 8. Although we never encountered any of these problems, I would stick to to ole 'He'll eat when he's hungry' piece of advice.

Good luck.

 

[jel0511]

A baby won't starve themselves, one of the reason he probably isn't feeding himself is that you give in and feed him when he throws the food on the floor. All one year olds love to throw food on the floor, just pick it up and give it back to him. If he throws in down again, pick it up and throw it out. Declare meal time over and that's it. One missed meal won't starve him, and maybe he'll start to get the lesson that he should start feeding himself. Also, in regards to the formula to milk transition, don't be suprised that your DS might hate the taste of milk. You'll probably have to start mixing it in with his formula to get him used to the taste. Start with 2 oz of milk to 6oz of formula, after a couple of days up the percentages until you're at complete milk. I'd also stop giving him a bottle during the day, especially for meals. Keep the bottle for a short time longer, maybe if you have quiet time in the AM or PM, but that's it. The best advice my old Ped (He was horrible in everyother way) gave me was to stop the bottle at 12 months, because the longer they keep it, the harder is to get rid of. My SIL has a 20 month old, who she still spoon feeds a lot and still is on the bottle, with no releif in sight. As the get older, it becomes harder to break the habits they form. Good luck, having a one year old can be very trying!!!

 

[skuttle]

I know a lot of this is probably out fault...we give in too easily I'm sure. DS has never been one to put things in his mouth so that makes it harder, too. I know my ped will tell me to just let him cry...he'll eat when he's hungry...that's how she is and I know that's probably what we'll have to end up doing for a while. At least he'll be getting the same thing at daycare now...and maybe seeing the other kids eat will make him want to eat more, too. *sigh* I'm SO ready to be rid of the bottles and baby food!!

 

[disneygals]

This is my OPINION.....

Relax...if it is truly important to YOU that he self feeds or changes his diet, go for it, show him who's boss. But if your motivation is that he "should" be at a different place, just let him lead the way.

I have 3 kids now 12, almost 10 and 8 and they are completely different about everything! I hated it when people used to say "she's too old to be doing so and so". Well, guess what? the reality is that she is still doing it.

Good Luck

Vivienne

 

[jel0511]

I completely understand, it is very frustrating and all you're trying to do is help him develop and become a somewhat independent one year old (actually is there such a thing!!) Anyway, it is tough to let them cry it out, and with DD we never had a food problem. She hated baby food and refused to eat it! She was on table food at 7 months, because that's all she'd eat! BUT trying to get her to sleep, was a NIGHTMARE!! She was rocked to sleep until she was 18 months old, and she'd wake up at least 3 times per night!! Usually she'd end up in bed with us, and eventually we had had enough. We just had to let her cry it out, and it lasted around 2 weeks of her crying. She doesn't let go of things easily and cried for 2 to 3 hours a night STRAIGHT!! No let up, it was tough for us, but eventually it calmed down to 15 to 20 minutes and now she's 6 and sleeps great!!! Now, if I could just get DS 3 to use the potty, I'd be fine, but he just doesn't want to, so I keep cleaning up the floor!!!! See, it doesn't get better, just different battles to fight!!! Keep your chin up and remember as everyone tells me, he won't be drinking a bottle and waiting for Mommy to feed him in College!!!

 

[briannesmom]

My DD will be one on July 12th. The only table foods she will eat are Cheerios, Gerber wagon wheels and fruit puffs, and animal cracker type cookies. Anything else she just plays with. She won't eat the chunky stage 3 baby foods either. Sippy cup not going too well either. I figure she will just do it when she is ready (I hope).

 

[skuttle]

Oh Briannesmom...I'm SO glad to hear from you!! Glad to know we're not alone! DS will chew on a wagon wheel or biter biscuit now and then, but the smaller things like cheerios and fruit/veggie puffs he just throws. Stage 3 usually gags DS...but I've read that those sometimes are hard for kids since it's a combo of soft baby food with chunks mixed in.

It's so tough not to compare. We had three babies born in our family last summer...DS is the youngest and was a month early so I know he will be behind the other two (one born in May the other 2 weeks before DS) but it's easy to forget that sometimes.

 

[SpecialK]

My DSs are 6 and 8, but I remember dealing with these issues. We used the sippy cup during the day/one bottle in the evening Tried the toddler foods but neither of my sons liked them so we just went with table food. Some days were good, some not so much, but nobody starved. They really will eat when they're hungry.

On the other hand, maybe he's just not ready. I tried to force the issue with giving up the pacifier with my oldest. Tried to make him go cold turkey. After listening to him sob, literally sob, for an hour DH and I were both in tears. We gave in and gave him the pacifier. Three months later he gave it up on his own.

Every child has their own time schedule, I guess.

 

[swea_pea1]

I have a couple of thoughts....

First, your baby is so cute! I love 'em when they're too young to be mouthy yet

I'd pull him off the bottle first. It's a tougher thing, I know, but that's why it has to be done. I have a nephew who just gave up his bottle when he turned 2 in May. And still hasn't given up the "binky" but that's another story

I transitioned to whole milk while still on the bottle, but then started taking away bottles one at a time, until the last one that was left was the nighttime bottle. Then it went away too. With both kids, I had three nights of crying and that was that.

The baby food transition was much easier for me. I think you're starting the right way....give him foods that look, feel, smell like the baby food. Smashed bananas is good. I also gave them spaghetti cut up really well, vegetable soup with little broth, creamed corn or mashed potatoes. Carry around a ziplock baggie of Cheerios....he'll let them sit in his mouth until they get real mushy. We kept feeding our kids the Gerber's cereal at breakfast too, but you could use cream of wheat if you wanted.

Lastly, it sounds as if you're a little bit apprehensive about your pediatrician and the advice she gives. Not all peds will give you the same advice, so if you are looking for a different direction, change peds. Don't feel married to one because she has seen your DS since birth. I know a woman with 5 kids who changed pediatricians after her third was born because the ped thought it was awful to have a kid or two in bed with the parents. She'd rather have them come to her room when they were scared, etc. and every time the ped told her it was wrong, she just ended up feeling bad about it.

I guess the bottom line is that you should do whatever feels good for you and your DS. You usually know what's right better than anybody else.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I don't think it is a matter of "giving in" so much as to adjusting to something "new". Some kids take longer than others.
I always had the rule that bottle had to be taken in on my lap. My kids never liked baby food so I had THAT problem.

I have found that when you cut back on the formula the kids will eat more food. Do it at a gradual pace, ie cut back amount of formula. Once he is getting less calories from the bottle he will increase them with food.
Make things that you like for breakfast & dinner that can be eaten by him, cut it up very fine.

Also, I think another important part is "modeling" the eating too. You eat the same foods he does and he will "model" you.

I have a 13yodd that eats everything and a 7yodd who is a texture kid and picky. Good Luck!

 

[sue1013]

I think you'll find once he starts eating table food at daycare you will see a big improvement. They always seem to learn easier and quicker from other kids.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Listen to your child and go with what he is telling you. He may not be ready for all solids yet. Keep offering him things and he will find things he likes eventually.

Also kids that age love to graze. Maybe have a few of his favorites available for him at all times in the kitchen, at a table that he can reach himself. Let him feel it, lick it, etc. He may put it in his mouth and spit it back out. Then next time he might eat it.

A couple of good articles.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T030700.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T030500.asp

 

[Nancy]

I was lucky...I actually had a Ped that let me do things on my schedule (what I thought was best) I actually stared getting them off formula by 9 months...gradually. By the time they turned 1 it was all milk and from a sippy cup. I think around 11 months bottles were the mix of both and has the milk got more then formula I switched to sippy's. They were easy kids. BUT ever child is different and what works for on doesn't mean it will work for someone else. My first 2 potty trained easy...#3 was a terror to train.

Like every says...babies won't starve. What I did find is the whole notion of trying to have then eat a balanced diet goes right out the window at first. DD #2 spent weeks eating Stove Top stuffing....but nothing else.

 

[skuttle]

I actually love our ped, but I know her advice will be that DS has us wrapped around his little finger. When he was around4 months, he was still getting up at midnight/1am for a bottle after going to bed at 10pm. Ped said he may have us fooled, but not her...he didn't need the bottle...let him cry. We did that...he cried for a couple of days and then he started sleeping through.

I know it is possible that DS is just not ready. But I just want to make sure I'm doing what I can to encourage him. If he's not ready, that's fine...I just don't want to assume he's not ready and he's just being picky.

Thanks again everyone for the advice.

 

[Kallison]

My kids did better sipping through a straw when they got rid of the bottle. Easy to learn with a really thick milkshake, they all did it on the first try.

Hey I don't know any kids going to Kindergarten eating baby food or using a bottle. Don't stress about it!

 

[Nancy]

Originally posted by Kallison


Hey I don't know any kids going to Kindergarten eating baby food or using a bottle. Don't stress about it!

My best friends Mom told me the same thing about potty training when I was stressing with #3. She said she never saw kid in school or an adult wearing diapers.

 

[tmfranlk]

I was going to say just what Kallison said...try a straw cup. DD (16 months) would never take a bottle and didn't like sippy cups. However, she has been drinking from a straw cup since she was 7 months old. I like it better than sippy cups because we'll never have to necessarily wean from them.

I am personally of the follow your child's lead group. DD knows better than I do what she likes/doesn't like, is ready for/not ready for. It has proven quite successful for us to just follow her lead. I have offered the things I thought were best whenever wanted too and over time, she began taking them. Now, she eats just about anything and everything and will self-feed most things. The self-feeding didn't start being a regular thing until about 13-14 months.

Whatever you decide. Just keep the faith. Things will work out.

 

[4greatboys]

Ds #3 was very picky and wanted me to feed him when he was old enough to feed him. Im a believer in pick your battles and I didnt want food to be one of them since he was picky to start with so we did things on his sch. But I was (and still am) a sahm so I didnt have the daycare issue. I think babies just like to do things on their own time table.
He also liked drinking with a straw and they have some sippy cups with straws.
Kids are funny little creature and may go through periods of just wanted mac n cheese, or hot dogs. We just went along with what the kid would eat and then they would end up eating other things too.
Good luck.