When did your girls start dating?

[Jeafl]

My daughter is 17, and we let her start really dating (i.e going to the movies or dinner with a boy alone) when she was 16. She had a "boyfriend" when she was 15, but they either hung out here or at his house for the most part.

She now has had the same boyfriend for 17 months. He is a great kid, and she really considers herself "in love". It will be interesting to see what happens when they go to separate colleges next year.

I also have another daughter that will be 11 in October, and the thought of her French kissing at 11 like a previous poster said she did has me

 

[Pigeon]

My girls are only 9 and 5, so we have some time to come to a firm decision, but we are thinking 35 would be a good age to start dating.

 

[Hercules10]

My girls are only 9 and 5, so we have some time to come to a firm decision, but we are thinking 35 would be a good age to start dating.

That young???

 

[Anthony1971]

If I had a daughter it would be 25
My wife was happy when we had a Boy
But I promise my Boy will be different
Any takers??

 

[caitycaity]

i "dated" starting when i was about 15. i never told my parents that the guys i were hanging out with were my boyfriends, just friends that happened to be boys. we usually did stuff in a group anyways. to this day i don't think they know some of my friends were more. and then there was the one guy friend i had who i never dated because he was gay. and i'm pretty sure my mom thought i had dated him up until i told her a few years ago that he was getting married to his partner in massachusetts.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

We are really struggling with this right now. DD#1 is 14 and will be in 9th grade. I could date at 15 but DH wants it to be 17! She has a "boyfriend" but they started dating at the start of summer and one or the other of them has been gone--he went on vacation, she went on vacation, when she came back he had boy scout camp, then she went on her mission trip...next month he'll be in Florida with his dad for 2 weeks--so they talk on the phone when they are both in town but other than that not much contact.
DH and I had a big deal over this because she went to a boy/girl party and he was there. Now I knew about it--and I have known the mother where this party was, and know for a fact no nonsense would go on. DH says he doesn't want her at boy/girl parties--they are going into 9th grade, what other kind of party is there!!!! I go to the door and meet the parents if I don't know them already, set the parameters, etc. I am dreading if DD wants to go to Homecoming with this boy--I'm sure DH's conditions will be insane.
The fact is, I have met him at the pool and he is a very nice kid--he is in the orchestra, won a math achievement award at the 8th grade awards, is working on his Eagle scout--she could do much, MUCH worse!!!
That said, at her age there will be no one-on-one stuff, and as for boys upstairs-- DH wasn't allowed upstairs at my parents' house when we were engaged, unless he was helping move furniture!!!
Robin M.

 

[DznyFan]

DD had 'boyfriend's in 8th grade. It's merely a title; although kids these days are doing a lot of things we wouldn't have in the 8th grade. Mine is an advocate for abstinance, thanks to the True Love Waits program, but oh, the stories I've heard from school!
As far as official dating (i.e.: going out on a date somewhere, he drives) it wasn't until after she turned 16, and is the current BF. He's a pretty good kid. She was allowed to go to the movies with a group of friends at 14. No parent along to movies w/ friends @ 15.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

My daughter is 15 and hasn't yet found anybody she would like to date. But then she likes girls and there is a serious shortage of "out" 15 year olds at her rural highschool! I suspect if she had the selection that straight teens has, she'd probably want to be a little more active in the dating world! As it is, I'm enjoying the stress free teen years but also looking forward to the day when meets the right girl!

My feelings on teen dating come to this: I think it depends on the kid. Some kids are mature enough to date at 15, others simply are not. When I was a kid, my friends would ask my mum when I would be allowed to date and my mum would also answer, "when I think she's ready." That always seemed odd to my friends who had a specific age set down to when they would be allowed to date. But now that I'm the mother of a teen, it totally makes sense to me and I have the same rule with my daughter. One criteria I have at determining whether a kid is ready to date is how well the child can make her own mind up and resist peer pressure. If a kid is easily swayed by the group and if the child feels a desperate need to fit in, she isn't ready to date! If she can't say no to her friends, she won't be able to say no to a potential date. My daughter is pretty darn good at making up her own mind and that makes me feel very good. But a lot of kids out there who are actively dating have no ability at all to tell somebody no and that worries me! So for that reason and many others, I just think it depends on the maturity of the kid!

 

[boo's mom]

I had a "boyfriend" when I was 15 and it lasted a couple months and we just grew apart..I was 15, he was 17. We couldn't be alone together in rooms, didn't go out anywhere. We just hung out together at my house and at school. I didn't have my first real boyfriend until I was 19. That was this past January and we're still going strong (and now I'm 20). My grandmother didn't like the idea of me going out with him to dinner and such but she eventually got over it. But now he lives in Hampton, which is about an hour and a half away from me so when I have days off from work, I try to get down there and see him. She doesn't like that either But she loves him to death as does the rest of the family

one problem though, I'd say 98% of my friends are guys. I've never been able to get along that well with females so going out with my friends sometimes creates a problem because I'm normally the only female. Fortunately for me though, the guys I hang out with treat me like a sister so if anything was to happen to me, they would be the first ones to react.

 

[sweet angel]

Just for argument's sake, do those of you who won't allow your kids to "date" before a certain age, but will allow your kids to go out in mixed groups, REALLY think nothing could happen then?

I was a good kid, but I remember there were a gazillion and one ways around rules and where there was a will, there was a way.

 

[budbeerlady]

For myself (and the same rules will be inforce for DD) I had to be 16 to go on an unchaparoned date with a guy. My dad wanted me to be able to drive just in case. Boys could call untill 9pm, I could be at the mall, movies, etc with a parent hanging around but that was about it. Why rush it, at the time it was killing me but you have the rest of your life wait untill you are 16 and take your time.

 

[krcit]

I think singingpixie and I went to the same school No, I went to a Catholic school so there was no making out in the halls-just on the playground after school!! My oldest dd is 11 and starting 6th grade and it kills me to realize that at her age I was already boy crazy and a kissing fool, but thankfully she is the complete opposite of me!! All she cares about is softball and basketball and how the Mets are doing I figure we will let her date at around 15 or 16.

 

[babytrees]

my oldest DD starts HS in two weeks and I am dreading it!!!
About 5 years ago she kept asking when she could date....I got tired of it so I kept adding months to the time frame....when she was up to 18 she finally asked Then she started asking when her sister could..... I kept subtracting months.....the girl finally got the hint and stopped asking.
She's already had a "boyfriend" but no dates....the one thing DH and I did decide is that it has to be a boy in the same age range....a HS not a college boy. I suspect we will have a couple of single dates sometime soon....maybe even for homecoming!!

 

[HappyLawyer]

well, my dtr is only 10 so i figure after she and i go to her high school prom, i may let her start.

 

[mickeyboat]

I am freaking out thinking about this, and my girls are only 5 and 6.

DH and I got together when I was 13, and we were doing some pretty serious stuff when I was 14 - even though we just hung out together and did things with our parents. We were pretty resourceful. So don't think just because these kids aren't going out on dates, that they are not physically involved with their boyfriends.

Denae

 

[Hercules10]

We were pretty resourceful. So don't think just because these kids aren't going out on dates, that they are not physically involved with their boyfriends.

See!.....chastity belt, 12 gauge, 24 hour cameras, Rotweillers trained to bite off wee-wees. I'd go freakin crazy if I had a daughter.

 

[mickeyboat]

See!.....chastity belt, 12 gauge, 24 hour cameras, Rotweillers trained to bite off wee-wees. I'd go freakin crazy if I had a daughter.

My parents had a rule that we could never be in a "reclining position" together. Like that stopped us!

Denae

 

[SillyMe]

I am freaking out thinking about this, and my girls are only 5 and 6.

DH and I got together when I was 13, and we were doing some pretty serious stuff when I was 14 - even though we just hung out together and did things with our parents. We were pretty resourceful. So don't think just because these kids aren't going out on dates, that they are not physically involved with their boyfriends.

Denae

Exactly.

 

[MerryPoppins]

DD is 15. So far she has lots of boy FRIENDS, but says she can see dating takes way too much work. I like that. She goes on group dates with friends if we approve of the group and the activity. I know most of these parents and kids, so I have a pretty good idea about who might be causing trouble. We'd let her go alone if we knew the situation and the boy. She knows she can't just pick up and go without asking first.

 

[SplshMtn99]

My parents were strict. I had "boyfriends" starting in maybe 7th grade. LOL, but they were the kind you only talk to at school, never on the phone, didn't even sit with him on the bus, & we never went anywhere. They never knew about them.

I had my first kiss summer of 9th/10th grade while away at a 2 wk summer music camp with a boy I met there. I was a late bloomer. And to my total embarrassment, we were voted the "most red hot couple" of camp. Never saw him or spoke to him again after camp. LOL

Lots of crushes & make-out sessions (and more) with one particular guy (but not dating) on band trip busses for next couple years. (hormone years)

Then spring of grade 11 (age 16.5), I started dating my first REAL boyfriend while on a band trip to VA/DC. He happened to be grade 8 (age 14 & few months). We dated for a full year. We were VERY serious. He was mature for his age, & I was immature for mine. (I tended to hang with younger people & still do.) We found ways to be alone (or nearly alone). Often lying to parents. We became the senior / freshman relationship later in the year when next grade started. We lost our virginity together (I just turned 17 & he almost 15). Talked of marriage after college for both of us. Ultimately what broke us up was too fast too quick -- and a pregnancy scare that his mother learned of. He needed time with friends & sports too.

Oddly enough, 22 yrs later, we run across each other on Classmates. Been emailing for 2 yrs now. - and he lives next town over from me. (We don't live near hometome either. Go figure. We ran into each other once at grocery store about 10 yrs ago. But haven't seen each other besides that.) Still feel he's very mature & had his head on his shoulders. All the plans he had in 8th grade for what college & what degree have come true. Doing very well in his career. He's still into his sports & a band. I on other hand, went to the college I had picked at the time. Graduated. Never followed that career choice. And have been changing careers around every 7-12 yrs, still trying to find myself.

So, I really don't think age makes a big deal. At ANY age. I believe its a maturity level thing.