When did you know?

[BreeBree]

Since this is a very family-oriented forum, I thought I'd ask here: when did you know your family was complete? I have three children who are still very young and all about a year apart. After my DD was born, my DH and I put the brakes on and decided to wait a few years to decide if we wanted more. My DD turns 3 this December and although I have my hands full with my three, I still feel like something is missing. I just can't imagine never having another baby. Is this a crazy feeling? I have been planning to go to school once my DD starts kindergarten, but I'm afraid if I do that, I'll never have another baby. DH wants me to do what makes me happy, but I don't know, so how did all of you know when your family was complete?

 

[DMickey28]

I have no idea. I have two boys, 5.5 and 2.5, and we always thought we wanted 3 but now we aren't sure. I look at the kids now and see my youngest starting to get more independent and I see myself being able to focus on myself more so I can be a better parent. Yet, like you, I can't imagine not having another baby. I honestly do it know. We have been not TTY or preventing for about 20 months and have decided at this point to put it in Gods hands. Getting PG with both boys was not the easiest so if I get oh without intervention then it's meant to be.

How's that for a completely not helpful response!

 

[fairestoneofall]

i just knew.

i never felt complete after my older two were born. however, DH was fine. i had finally decided i needed to accept that i would only have two and i ended up pregnant. we were thrilled. and now, i cannot imagine life without him. there is a 6 1/2 year difference from my middle child and the youngest.

however, i'm perfectly content now. if DH decided he was interested in adopting another, i'd do it. but i no longer feel like someone is missing from our family.

 

[bjscheel]

When I had to have a blood transfusion after my first and a D&C after my second, among other things. I have had enough post-delivery issues that I decided it wasn't advisable to have another and my doctor agreed. I originally had intentions of maybe 3 or 4.

We have two girls and DH still wanted a boy. We looked into adoption a little bit and I felt I couldn't deal with it no matter which route we went. Not to mention even if it's a boy it might not be his tractor-loving garage buddy that he wants. So he has to wait for sons-in-law and grandsons.

 

[HelenePA]

Oh its one of those things you just know.. after #3 I was still undecided... after #4... Yeah... I'm just done... I do have an IUD just in case I do change my mind in the next 5 years though, but I REALLY dont see that happening!!!

 

[Ennazus8810]

During my pregnancy with my second. My girls are only 11 months apart, and I had a very difficult delivery with the first, and a planned C Section with the second because of the difficulties less than a year before. I had even more problems with the second, and we both felt that our family was complete. I am almost 10 years older than my DH as well, and these kids run me ragged!

One of the reasons my DH was happy with 2 is that we love to travel, and this way we will fit into a single hotel room. That may seem strange to a lot of people, but that is something that did influence our decision.

 

[brookmey]

When we found out #2 was a boy. We already had a 2 year old daughter, so we agreed that if we were having a boy, that was God's way of telling us we were done because we'd have 1 of each.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

When DH and I got out numbered!

 

[parrothead365]

Right after the trip to Dr Snippy

 

[Becky2005]

I always wanted 4 but that's because I'm the 3rd child and the world is set-up to be 4 or 6. I always hated being the odd one out since I was the younges (if you remember station wagons with the hump in the middle that was the seat I always got). The only advantage was I loved the cots in hotel rooms although I'm not sure they even do those anymore.

So, once we had baby #3, I really wanted baby #4 but had almost resigned to 3 because I also didn't want to have anymore after I turned 35. I happened to get pregnant with #4 when I was 34 & he was born after I turned 35...so I'm good.

I have no desire to have an infant again. I guess you just know or circumstances dictate it.

 

[disykat]

I had difficult pregnancies so we knew another pregnancy wasn't in the cards. We were looking into adoption, but my husband was thinking about a career change and it just didn't make sense financially for a while. We also had some inlaw/marital issues at that time. By the time we would have been ready, it seemed like the time had passed.

Even though I always wanted 3 or 4, I'm happy with my two boys.

 

[Pembo]

I had two boys and got my girl 4 years later and knew we were done. Our family felt complete.

And to Ennaz - not that hard to family hotel rooms for families of 5.

 

[MIGrandma]

We knew our family was complete when we had a boy and a girl. There's nothing left to have after that, so we were done.

Seriously though, I was an only child and didn't want that for my son so knew I wanted at least one more. DH has two sisters and said it was always "two against one" while he was growing up so he didn't want three, and I sure as heck didn't want four so we stopped at two.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I have boy/girl twins. They're my "insta-family".

I think I'm done. I would love to be pregnant again(I had a great pregnancy) though. I feel like I missed out on the whole birth "experience" since I had a scheduled c-section. I don't really want to deal with babies and toddlers again though! Mine are starting to finally fend for themselves a bit and keep themselves busy.

My DH said we were done when we found out we were having twins. His thought was solidified when we had one of each lol.

 

[Kerrio929]

Our second DD was a very tough baby. Didn't sleep well, hated to be put down, and I just had a very hard time with her. I just knew I couldn't go through that again. And I also knew I that if we had another and it was another girl, I might very well lose my mind when they are teens. Lol. For awhile DH wanted to have another but as youngest DD got older we realized that we didn't really want to do the baby part again. Sometimes I miss the baby stage but not enough to want to dive back into that pool.

 

[aprilgail2]

When I calculated the cost of college and figured out I could put one through college and not two that was it for me. I could afford to go on nice vacations with one and not two...plus I had siblings and grew up wishing I was an only child!

 

[Patience]

For me, I could seriously be Mama Duggar and have tons of children BUT... we have two children, one biological child and one adopted internationally, because that is how many children we feel financially able to provide with a good childhood and a good start to adulthood. We want to give our children childhoods free of financial stress. We want them to grow up in a financially secure household with extra money for extracurricular activities, money to travel and money for a few extras now and then. We are able to pay for our college educations for both of our kids and are paying for it now for our first daughter who is a freshman in college. So, although I would happily adopt many more children if we won the lottery (which we don't play), our family is complete and I am content and loving life.

Standard disclaimer: The above is my opinion and my opinion only. Your experience may vary and I respect that.

 

[mtemm]

I just remembering looking around my kitchen table and knowing we were complete. It just felt like we were all there, and content with it as it was. of course, it helped that we had planned for 2 kids, and on our 2nd pregnancy ended up with twins, so we already had a bonus child.

 

[Mandychelle79]

My son was born in October, my husband got snipped in April, about the time my son became mobile

When he started climbing things at 6 months, still didnt sleep through the night, etc, we decided that we were content with our 2

 

[HM]

We had planned on three children. After our second was born, we pretty much knew that our family was complete. We felt complete.

HOWEVER, that did not keep me from feeling like I wanted another baby. I still wanted to be pregnant again and have a baby again. But what I knew I didn't want was another child.

I think the feelings you are having are very normal OP. You probably know that your family is complete. You have things that you want to do that another child will make difficult and you want to get on with those things. But it doesn't mean that you aren't going to feel the pangs for having another baby. You just work your way through it. Eventually you'll stop feeling like you want to be pregnant again.