What's the difference between Hugh Hefner and Polygamists?

[Conservative Hippie]

No, it's not a joke!

I watch Big Love and the Girls Next Door, and I got to thinking (which one should never do while watching a show on E!)--Hugh Hefner has three girlfriends, how is that different from someone having three wives? True, he is not legally married to any of them, but in Big Love, Bill is only legally married to one of the wives, and some polygamists don't get legally married at all. I guess the biggest difference is that no one is suggesting that Hef raise children in that sort of environment, and polygamists do. Anyway, just thought it might make for interesting discussion...

 

[CPM]

I guess the only real difference is he's not legally married. Anyone can have three girlfriends. I love Big Love!!
I have a question because I missed a couple of episodes. Can you explain why this business deal is causing all these problems? Who actually did teh stealing?
Thanks
Looking forward to the Season Finale!

 

[LadyShiva]

I was going to say Hugh isn't a patriarch, and then I realized he does impose house rules... such as curfew and so on.

Lemme think about this. You might be on to something here. I would see Hugh et al as polygamy done right, however; 4 fully grown adults in a relationship that seems to suit all of their needs--emotional, financial, and seemingly physical.

Brandie

 

[Conservative Hippie]

I guess the only real difference is he's not legally married. Anyone can have three girlfriends. I love Big Love!!
I have a question because I missed a couple of episodes. Can you explain why this business deal is causing all these problems? Who actually did teh stealing?
Thanks
Looking forward to the Season Finale!

Sorry, I'm a season behind! I don't have HBO, so I got season 1 DVDs from Netflix. Season 2 isn't out yet.

 

[CPM]

Sorry, I'm a season behind! I don't have HBO, so I got season 1 DVDs from Netflix. Season 2 isn't out yet.

Oh, okay. Maybe someone else can answer that. Thanks
I could use a few extra husbands. Why doesn't it ever work that way??

 

[Heidict]

Not much difference, these are the only ones I can think of.

1- On Big Love, they are together as a family unit because they love each other and believe that this is the best way to have a family and to get into heaven.
2- Hugh does it because he is a horny old rich man who can have as many women as he wants. Therefore, he is doing IT for purely selfish reasons.
3-Polygamist base their lives on God, albiet, a very distorted view that most disagree with.
4-Hugh is just a horny old rich man!!

 

[CPM]

I was going to say Hugh isn't a patriarch, and then I realized he does impose house rules... such as curfew and so on.

Can you believe his rules? I think teh curfew is ike 10:00 PM or something. What will these other two girls do when he marries Holly?

 

[Tiggeroo]

This has been a thought I've had too. I don't see the difference. Polygamists are not stupid enough to have legal weddings. Therefore they're really just cohabitating with many women. Not illegal. As long as they are adults who aren't coerced I see no issues with it. The children would have to be decided on a case by case basis as to whether the children are properly raised. I find Hef's situation strange also and personally I think alot of it is a pr front designed to keep up Hef's image and boost sales. I don't really think Holly is ok with the other girls being Hef's gf's and I'm not sure they really are. They kind of glaze over the sex thing on the show and only show him getting into bed with Holly.
I have a problem with Hef's situation as much as the polygamists when it involves very young women. At 18 your legal but unless you've had a very good upbringing, and even if you have sometimes, you don't really know yourself and are easily led into poor decisions. Clearly the girls in Hef's group come from odd homes. How many parents would be good about their dd in such a situation? How many would come to visit and just hang out. Some of the dad's really creep me out because it's clear they're thrilled to be in the mansion even if it means pimping out their dd's to get there. Remember the episode where the one girl stripped in front of her parents. Way creepy. If the girls staying with him were strong,independent, financially stable young women when they moved in I might feel a bit different. And I don't think any woman is that between the ages of 18-24.
Do you really want your 18yo dd sleeping with an 80yo man who needs viagra to get going and brings other women in. And she's required to earn her keep by posing, even if she's going to college at the same time?

 

[barkley]

I guess the only real difference is he's not legally married. Anyone can have three girlfriends. I love Big Love!!
I have a question because I missed a couple of episodes. Can you explain why this business deal is causing all these problems? Who actually did teh stealing?
Thanks
Looking forward to the Season Finale!

o.k. here's the deal- roman had already started negotiating for the weaver gaming company and bill found out about it via his seat on the board. bill managed to buy it out from under roman but roman did'nt know about it. now nicki tipped off alby scared: ) when she bragged to him about it-and since he's already got an axe to grind with bill's family (psycho wanda poisoned him and roman would'nt let him fully co-operate with the authorities) he's using this, i believe to create all out war. of course it does'nt help that the other underground polygamist group leader (hollis) has now told alby that bill led his (hollis's) women 'astray' and was responsible for the hogtying of alby's mom and the shooting of roman.

 

[punkin]

I can't really see the difference either.

 

[LadyShiva]

Honestly, I don't think those three women have the hang-ups with sexuality that others have. I think they enjoy their own bodies and enjoy posing, dressing up in the manner that they do, and seem to generally be quite happy without the need for medication.

It isn't how I live my life, but it sure looks like they are quite happy with themselves, their choices, and their relationship with Hef. And frankly, they aren't hurting anyone or seeming to be getting hurt themselves. It is their body, and their choice to be in that mansion, and in those relationships (because they are also friends with each other). Hugh shows he genuinely cares for each of the women, outside of a bedroom, in a lot of different caring ways.

I have no problem with the 4 of them or that show. Sometimes I wish there was a bit more gray matter in Kendra's head, but hey... my hubby sometimes feels the same way about me!

Brandie

 

[Beth76]

The difference is the "girls next door" are there because they want to be and can leave at anytime and they're legal (albeit barely in Kendra's case). The girls in polygomous relationships are sometimes not of legal age and are forced into it. If not exactly forced, they're brought up to know that this is what they are supposed to do. Which isn't any better. They often can't get away and are forced to bear many children.

 

[BillSears]

So what's the difference between being married, living together and just sleeping with each other? Polygamy is marriage whether it's acknowledged my the government or not. Hef is just sleeping around and would probably dump any of the girls, other then Holly, if they asked for a real commitment.

 

[pearlieq]

Absolutely none, which is why I have no problem with polygamy.

As long as you're only legally married to one person, everyone's a consenting adult, and you're not committing welfare fraud, it's none of my business how you conduct your life.

I see no difference between having a mistress, multiple girlfriends, or being in a plural marriage (a la Big Love with only one "legal" spouse).

 

[CapeCodTenor]

2- Hugh does it because he is a horny old rich man who can have as many women as he wants. Therefore, he is doing IT for purely selfish reasons.
4-Hugh is just a horny old rich man!!

If I had his money and his job, I think I'd be in the same position as he's in right now.

 

[punkin]

So what's the difference between being married, living together and just sleeping with each other? Polygamy is marriage whether it's acknowledged my the government or not. Hef is just sleeping around and would probably dump any of the girls, other then Holly, if they asked for a real commitment.

You think a polygamist "husband" makes any "commitment to his "wives?" Doesn't seem that way to me from what I've heard.

 

[BillSears]

You think a polygamist "husband" makes any "commitment to his "wives?" Doesn't seem that way to me from what I've heard.

I guess I was thinking of polygamy as it should be not as it really exist in a patriarcal situation. The way most polygamy is practiced isn't really a marriage to me. However I feel that commitment is really the difference between living with multiple people and polygamy.

 

[Rozzie]

Honestly, I don't think those three women have the hang-ups with sexuality that others have. I think they enjoy their own bodies and enjoy posing, dressing up in the manner that they do, and seem to generally be quite happy without the need for medication.

It isn't how I live my life, but it sure looks like they are quite happy with themselves, their choices, and their relationship with Hef. And frankly, they aren't hurting anyone or seeming to be getting hurt themselves. It is their body, and their choice to be in that mansion, and in those relationships (because they are also friends with each other). Hugh shows he genuinely cares for each of the women, outside of a bedroom, in a lot of different caring ways.

Excellent post, and 100% agree with every word.

 

[punkin]

I guess I was thinking of polygamy as it should be not as it really exist in a patriarcal situation. The way most polygamy is practiced isn't really a marriage to me. However I feel that commitment is really the difference between living with multiple people and polygamy.

If you are discussing Biblical polygamy, let me remind you that Abraham threw out his second "wife" and their child. That's some commitment. I do not believe polygamy can be practiced as a real marriage between equals. So for me, there is no difference-horny old men getting it on with young girls in both cases.

 

[daisax]

One big reason is that Hef isn't living off the state, as many of the polygamist cults do -- the (extra) "wives" have no income, no legal means of support, so they're on public assistance as are the kids. They consider it part of their mission to bilk the nonbelievers to increase their numbers.

Can't comment on the cable show because I haven't seen it. I thought I had heard that one of Hef's girls IS pregnant, however. I'm guessing child and mother won't be on food stamps, though.