What would you say...

[Zandy595]

to your husband's ex-girlfriend if she sent you a 'friend request' on facebook? Keep in mind this person slept with your husband-to-be a year after you started dating. This happened 18 years ago and you've never met her before.

My first reaction was to ignore her, but I'm curious as to why she would think I'd want to be her friend. Oddly she's fb friends with my FIL and DH's aunt.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So you are saying your dh cheated on you with this person? Or you were just "dating" and not exclusively.

I am confused with the "ex" part.

 

[quentina]

So you are saying your dh cheated on you with this person? Or you were just "dating" and not exclusively.

I am confused with the "ex" part.

That was my question also....Your man cheated with this women and you want to be her friend....I would not and to be honest, I would make sure he didn't become her friend either.

 

[Zandy595]

So you are saying your dh cheated on you with this person? Or you were just "dating" and not exclusively.

I am confused with the "ex" part.

Yes, DH cheated on me with her. We were not just dating, we were exclusive.

 

[Serena]

Why would she think you would want to be her friend? I don't get it, but I would not be curious enough to accept it.

 

[Zandy595]

That was my question also....Your man cheated with this women and you want to be her friend....I would not and to be honest, I would make sure he didn't become her friend either.

Oh hell no, I don't want to be her friend. I just want to know why she thinks I would want to be her friend. I guess I didn't really state that clearly.

 

[quentina]

Oh hell no, I don't want to be her friend. I just want to know why she thinks I would want to be her friend. I guess I didn't really state that clearly.

My guess would be to get info on hubby.....stay away...far, far away.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well ok...I would have to say I would be less than thrilled. Who wouldn't be?

Not sure how the FB thing works, but I would block her and probably enjoy it.

As far as why, that is obvious. You are a gateway to your DH.

 

[wdwfan16]

to your husband's ex-girlfriend if she sent you a 'friend request' on facebook? Keep in mind this person slept with your husband-to-be a year after you started dating. This happened 18 years ago and you've never met her before.

My first reaction was to ignore her, but I'm curious as to why she would think I'd want to be her friend. Oddly she's fb friends with my FIL and DH's aunt.

This story is odd on so many levels.

 

[Zandy595]

Why would she think you would want to be her friend? I don't get it, but I would not be curious enough to accept it.

I'm definitely not going to accept her friend request. I was thinking about sending her a message to ask why in the world she would think I'd want to be friends with her. And to ask why she's friends with my FIL and DH's aunt.

 

[Tink888]

to your husband's ex-girlfriend if she sent you a 'friend request' on facebook? Keep in mind this person slept with your husband-to-be a year after you started dating. This happened 18 years ago and you've never met her before.

My first reaction was to ignore her, but I'm curious as to why she would think I'd want to be her friend. Oddly she's fb friends with my FIL and DH's aunt.

I'd probably ignore her.

As to the curiousity part, I think her request has less to do with wanting to be your friend and more to do with wanting to see what you & your DH look like now and have been up to over the years.

I had a girl from high school who I never really got along with and who slept with the guy I was dating back then send me a friend request. I did accept, only because after twenty years I didn't want to seem petty. Never heard a word from her, I think she just was curious about me. I still have her as a friend but I blocked her from all my statuses. And I wasn't married to the boyfriend.

 

[sunnyday123]

To put it simply, hell no. See the other thread regarding ( maybe it's gone now) about the wife who cheated on her hubby,promised to never do it again, then sent the other guy a message via FB, and hubby found out.

NOT saying this is what is going to happen, but I just think it's bad all the way around to have ex's on Facebook. I don't care if they're married now, say they just want to "catch up" or comment on how cute your kids are.

And she's friends with your FIL and Dh's Aunt? I would un-friend them as well. He cheated on you with her? I'd let them know how hurt your feelings are. She's using you as a go between to him. Block her name too so she can't even find you when she searches. Does he have a FB account? I really don't like them for married couples.....

 

[sunnyday123]

Oh hell no, I don't want to be her friend. I just want to know why she thinks I would want to be her friend. I guess I didn't really state that clearly.

As much as I would like to ask her why she even thought I'd want to be her friend and I was sure she wasn't the immoral [edited] she was 18 years ago, I would simply ignore her and then block her. Don't give her the satisfaction of thinking she got under your skin.

 

[Zandy595]

To put it simply, hell no. See the other thread regarding ( maybe it's gone now) about the wife who cheated on her hubby,promised to never do it again, then sent the other guy a message via FB, and hubby found out.

NOT saying this is what is going to happen, but I just think it's bad all the way around to have ex's on Facebook. I don't care if they're married now, say they just want to "catch up" or comment on how cute your kids are.

And she's friends with your FIL and Dh's Aunt? I would un-friend them as well. He cheated on you with her? I'd let them know how hurt your feelings are. She's using you as a go between to him. Block her name too so she can't even find you when she searches. Does he have a FB account? I really don't like them for married couples.....

No, DH doesn't have a fb account.

I only signed up because my 20 year hs reunion was this year. I couldn't go but I wanted to catch up with my old classmates and fb was the easiest way to do it.

 

[Zandy595]

I just found out my MIL is fb friends with her too. WTH!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I'm definitely not going to accept her friend request. I was thinking about sending her a message to ask why in the world she would think I'd want to be friends with her. And to ask why she's friends with my FIL and DH's aunt.

I would not send her message.

Are you a fan of the vampire genre? The first rule is to not invite them across your threshold. Keep the door closed.

 

[Serena]

I would ignore her. I just don't see anything good coming out of conversations between you.

Even with the best intentions. She's sorry and wants to apologize for her behavior 18 years ago. --come on, it's just bringing back up things best left alone. Bringing back memories and situations dealt with long ago.

And that was with the best intentions, I'm not bringing up other motives for contacting you after all these years.

 

[Serena]

I would not send her message.

Are you a fan of the vampire genre? The first rule is to not invite them across your threshold. Keep the door closed.

I like that. It's a good thing to remember.

 

[Zandy595]

I would not send her message.

Are you a fan of the vampire genre? The first rule is to not invite them across your threshold. Keep the door closed.

LOL! Thanks for the advice. I'm glad I posted here before I sent her a message.

Now, what to do about DH's family members who are friends with her. I'm not sure they know he cheated on me with her. Do I have the right to tell them who they can be fb friends with? I don't think I could confront them face to face about this and tell them that it bothers me. I'm a very shy person IRL.

 

[lillygator]

to your husband's ex-girlfriend if she sent you a 'friend request' on facebook? Keep in mind this person slept with your husband-to-be a year after you started dating. This happened 18 years ago and you've never met her before.

My first reaction was to ignore her, but I'm curious as to why she would think I'd want to be her friend. Oddly she's fb friends with my FIL and DH's aunt.

Yes, DH cheated on me with her. We were not just dating, we were exclusive.

Oh hell no, I don't want to be her friend. I just want to know why she thinks I would want to be her friend. I guess I didn't really state that clearly.

I'm definitely not going to accept her friend request. I was thinking about sending her a message to ask why in the world she would think I'd want to be friends with her. And to ask why she's friends with my FIL and DH's aunt.

I just found out my MIL is fb friends with her too. WTH!

wow...I would ignore her. Why in the world are your inlaws friends with her? was she involved with DH for a long time before you and friends of the family? do they have kids together or anything?