What would you do...

Banshee

<font color=blue>Bip & Bop<br><font color=green>I
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May 15, 2003
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My friend and her hubby are having some major financial problems they are losing their home she is 3 months behind on her car payment and neither seem to really care! The thing is they have 3 kids!!! Their youngest is autistic and they never really did all they could for him which I did not agree with but they never asked my opinion so I never said anything. Their middle child a girl is having major problems with anger issue's at school and at home and they kind of pat her on the back and say she is defending her self. She actually screamed at a woman in the street in front of the house (the woman came down to tell her please dont push my son he is only six and way smaller and younger than you) So she berated this woman while my friend watched out the window and laughed and once again said good job to her daughter!! :sad2: I am sorry but no 11 year old should yell at an adult my friend should have been outside and intervening. Their oldest always did well in school and was always a really sweet boy he has since in the past year become a complete wise*** and has failed science and math and has to go to summer school!! They had to pay for his summer school and when my friend found that out she refused to send him stating it is his fault that he didnt do his homework so why should I pay he'll learn his lesson let him repeat 7th grade. Once agin I kept my mouth shut like I told my DH if my son failed for homework it is partly my fault I make sure he does it every single day and I go over it with him. Their house has always been dirty I have cleaned for her when she was working because I felt bad for the kids Well, she was fired from her job 2 months ago and the house has gotten worse it is really filthy now! I offered help thinking she is depressed with their situation but she said no thanks. We always invite them over for dinner and barbeque's but lately for the past 3 months about they have been refusing for one reason or another. Though they continue to invite us to their house where they seem to spend all their money on booze and cigarette's playing quarter's and getting trashed has not been my scene since I was about 22 I have 2 two children and one now on the way and that is just not what I want to do. Well this weekend was final straw for my DH and I we went to their house friday and sat on their deck chatting well, my friend is going on an on about how her hubby is doing some side jobs and made about 500. dollars I said great you can pay some of your car payments, and she laughed and said no way were partying with it!! :scared1: She then informed me how she went and bought him a very bad illicit drug as a reward!!!!!!! I just didnt know what to say I told my DH I had a headache and wanted to go but, not before he invited them to OUR HOUSE for a BBQ for saturday!!! Also their daughter begged us to take her so she could sleep over. I gave in and took her with me she is different respectfull and she turns back into a little girl I feel so bad for her. When we got home I informed my DH of what was said to me and he nearly flipped out with anger saying "what is wrong with them they are losing everything and they are doing nothing for those kids!" and so on. My concern was also that I didnt want them bringing anything into my house. Well, they never showed never called which was a relief BUT, we still had their KID!!! They never called and when we called them there was no answer so eventually Sunday AFTERNOON about 2:00 we dropped her off they were home but, never came out and never called. their daughter came out and said they are sleeping! Well, it is now tuesday and still no call!! I have called them twice but no answer. My Dh has gotten even angrier realizing what if the other times they have come to our home if they brought this junk to our house and one of our children got a hold of it!!! He is also upset like me about their poor kids but we just dont know what if anything there is we can do to at least try to help the kids. He has sine told me "even if she does call dont even talk to her because she is just going to have a load off **** to tell you anyway" I just can not keep thinking of these poor kids getting brought down deeper into their parents pit. :sad1:
 
personally, i would call child protective services. there is no way i would avoid the issues and allow those children to stay in an unsafe home.
 
I agree, call child protective services.

Shelby
 

I was thinking the same thing. Call Child Protective Services or place an anonymous call to the police about drugs being in the house around small children.

You need to intervene, not only for the children's sake, but to save these people from themselves. They need help and while this may seem like a harsh step to take, it is necessary. If they continue to act this way, the children could be seriously injured. It already sounds like the parents actions are hurting the children emotionally. They need to be stopped and the safest and fastest way to do that is to call the authorities.
 
I really think I should call CPS but I heard through the grape vine that some one else did years ago before we even knew them and that nothing happened. I am trying to find her parents address so I can mail them a letter they live in Fl. and I really think they would want to know what was going on. Maybe they could help the kids.
 
Personally, I would have NOTHING to do with these people. In addition, I would call child protective services as it sounds like they are neglecting their kids.

Sadly, it sounds like drugs and/or drinking are more important to them than taking care of their kids. :sad2:
 
Since they've admited to drug use, I agree, you should call child services, I beleive you can usually do an anonymous report. You can't help your friends (now former friends I hope!) but you should do what you can for the kids (which beyond calling the athorities, isn't much I'm affraid...).
 
Yes i would call protective services after calling the police about the drugs. Personaly i dont really know why you still consider them friends anymore.
 
Banshee said:
I really think I should call CPS but I heard through the grape vine that some one else did years ago before we even knew them and that nothing happened. I am trying to find her parents address so I can mail them a letter they live in Fl. and I really think they would want to know what was going on. Maybe they could help the kids.

Regardless of what occurred in the past with CPS, you should call as you know what the situation is currently.

I'm not sure how writing a letter to the grandparents is going to help, when all you really need to do is call CPS, and be done with these people. :confused3
 
It sounds like they are deep in addiction and their kids are suffering.
 
pinkgalYall said:
Yes i would call protective services after calling the police about the drugs. Personaly i dont really know why you still consider them friends anymore.


It is not even that I consider them friends anymore I am very angry at the whole situation. But before they really fell into financial issue's they were ok the kids were happy and the biggest thing they did (or at least I thought they did) was smoke cigarettes and drink on the weekend. And not heavy drinking like what seems to be going on lately.The whole drug thing blew me out of the water and really ticked me off, but now I am thinking back the past few months and things they do and say and it is coming together they probably have been using for a while now. Before this weekend and the whole drug thing All my DH and I wanted to do was help them. I am going to call CPS because I feel that I owe at least that to the kids.
 
Call CPS. Knowing that someone has called in the past makes it even MORE of a reason to call. It sounds like, for awhile, they were doing okay and they are sliding downhill. You only reached the final straw recently. Like you, CPS probably felt they hadn't reached the point where they needed major intervention years ago - they need to be notified that things have gone downhill.

I don't know if CPS can really do much with plain ole bad parenting, but they can intervene when the children are unsafe and unsupervised. People need to call so the record can be established. A track record of calls from different people will get more attention.
 
FSUGrad97 said:
Regardless of what occurred in the past with CPS, you should call as you know what the situation is currently.

I'm not sure how writing a letter to the grandparents is going to help, when all you really need to do is call CPS, and be done with these people. :confused3



I wanted to write or call her parents so that when I call CPS they can hopefully take them in I would hate to see them seperated. And I think they would want to know.
 
Banshee said:
It is not even that I consider them friends anymore I am very angry at the whole situation. But before they really fell into financial issue's they were ok the kids were happy and the biggest thing they did (or at least I thought they did) was smoke cigarettes and drink on the weekend. And not heavy drinking like what seems to be going on lately.The whole drug thing blew me out of the water and really ticked me off, but now I am thinking back the past few months and things they do and say and it is coming together they probably have been using for a while now. Before this weekend and the whole drug thing All my DH and I wanted to do was help them. I am going to call CPS because I feel that I owe at least that to the kids.

Good for you! I'm willing to bet it's the drugs that caused their financial problems and the rest of their downward spiral. You'd think once people got past their early twenties that starting drug use wouldn't be an issue, but I guess it isn't!
 
What a horrible situation. I hate hearing about things like this where children are involved :(

I agree with all the other posters who said that you need to call CPS. Those poor kids need someone to speak for them, since they can't do it for themselves. They are lucky they have you to look out for them.

I understand what you mean about contacting the grandparents so that they can hopefully be there for the kids instead of them going to foster homes if it came down to that. Just please be sure to follow up with a call to CPS too.

Good luck with this situation, and please keep us updated.

Jynohn
 
lowie said:
personally, i would call child protective services. there is no way i would avoid the issues and allow those children to stay in an unsafe home.


DITTO :furious:
 
I would stay away from these people, let 'em lose their house and they'll move on to somewhere else. And call the CPS too.
 


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