What would you do? Inappropraite discussion in a restaurant

[ducklite]

It just seems like the level that our society considers culturally appropriate IN PUBLIC has dropped reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaallllly low.

And at the same time we've developed this notion that our children must be protected from every ill of society all the time or it will forever damage them.

Anne

 

[TinkInPink]

It just seems like the level that our society considers culturally appropriate IN PUBLIC has dropped reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaallllly low.

No just the level we sheild children from the real world has gone really high.

 

[sweet angel]

Things I've learned on the DIS today:
1. Current events, specifically murder, are not suitable topics of conversation in public -- therefore I must only discuss them in the privacy of my own home or in an adult atmosphere such as a bar.

2. Friendly's is a family restaurant and apparently only happiness and pixie dust is allowed there.

3. It's my responsibility to be aware of the ages and level of sheltered-ness of every child around me and only discuss topics that are appropriate for them.

I don't so much think the OP was out of line -- perhaps a bit over-protective, but that's her prerogative. I do think some other posters are a bit too gung ho.

 

[MorganLeFey]

Nah, at Chuck-E-Cheese IT WOULD BE TOO LOUD TO HEAR ANYTHING ANYONE WAS SAYING ANYHOW.

Anne

 

[gina2000]

The news story is in the public domain and a restaurant is a public place. While I can understand you not wanting your children to hear a graphic discussion of murder, you really have no choice except to move under those circumstances. Even then, if the murder occurred in your town or a neighboring town, chances are your children will hear about it on a tv broadcast, at a friend's home, or from a friend whose parents were discussing the situation in their presence. Personally, I'd want to be the one to discuss the situation with my children rather than have them hear about it without my input. I would have used the conversation to discuss what happened in a non-graphic way after returning to the privacy of my home.

When 9/11 occurred, my son was 7 years old. We didn't allow him to watch the images on tv but we did discuss the situation with him without showing our horror and fear. It was better that he understood from us what had happened rather than hearing about it and forming opinions without our input.

Sometimes, you just can't shelter a child from the realities of life. You can soften the reality, however, by using good judgment and discussing the situation in a calm, rational manner. Hiding it from a child once they have heard about it only heightens their curiousity and fears. If you won't discuss it, it must be really, really bad. That's not a good spin to put on any story.

As far as appropriateness is concerned, they were adults discussing a news story. They were well within the boundaries of acceptable public behavior unless they were discussing grisley details so loudly that they were disrupting the restaurant.

 

[sweet angel]

Well said, Gina.

 

[Disneyrsh]

Things I've learned on the DIS today:
1. Current events, specifically murder, are not suitable topics of conversation in public -- therefore I must only discuss them in the privacy of my own home or in an adult atmosphere such as a bar.

2. Friendly's is a family restaurant and apparently only happiness and pixie dust is allowed there.

3. It's my responsibility to be aware of the ages and level of sheltered-ness of every child around me and only discuss topics that are appropriate for them.

I don't so much think the OP was out of line -- perhaps a bit over-protective, but that's her prerogative. I do think some other posters are a bit too gung ho.

You know, you guys diss this topic, and I just think it's sad.

Especially from people on the Disboards, who, as a group, are more appreciative of "pixie dust" and happiness than your average slob out on the street.

Bummer.

 

[HoneyPooh]

Oh, that's hysterical, nothing like being threated with having my "heiney whooped" by someone on the disboards.

Did you bother to actually read my post or does it just make you feel good to think someone is out to get you? Some people just like drama. I don't believe I threatened to do anything to you, I would have yelled right back at you, but I tend to not be much of a fighter (BTW I was being DIS appropriate with the "hiney whopped comment" since CHILDREN read here).

What I said was, that you should be careful of standing up and being so confrontational with people. Someday you may pick the wrong person. Doesn't matter how tall or fearless you are. We read about those types of things in the paper every day.....ironic huh?

 

[Disneyrsh]

Yeah, whatever.

Sure, of course you weren't specifically targeting me with your nasty post or making a somewhat clumsily veiled threat.

That would be irrational and stupid.

And you're definitely not that.

Definitely.

 

[TinkInPink]

Things I've learned on the DIS today:
1. Current events, specifically murder, are not suitable topics of conversation in public -- therefore I must only discuss them in the privacy of my own home or in an adult atmosphere such as a bar.

2. Friendly's is a family restaurant and apparently only happiness and pixie dust is allowed there.

3. It's my responsibility to be aware of the ages and level of sheltered-ness of every child around me and only discuss topics that are appropriate for them.

I must Agree.

 

[N.Bailey]

You know, you guys diss this topic, and I just think it's sad.

Especially from people on the Disboards, who, as a group, are more appreciative of "pixie dust" and happiness than your average slob out on the street.

Bummer.

Why do you feel because you are in this restaurant that your opinion should trump other patrons? Those people are paying as much, probably more than you because they're buying more adult meals than you are. Why should they have to accommodate you? If you don't like the conversation, you're free to ask your server to move, but you're not free to dictate what others talk about while they're having their meal. Like you said, it's a public restaurant and you seem to think what you say should go.

I certainly wouldn't be jumping up to whip your hind end, but I'd certainly tell you to mind your own business and I would complain about you to the restaurant if you bothered our party any further.

 

[HoneyPooh]

Disneyrsh, since I quoted you, of course I was directing it at you. If I was being veiled I would have been far more mysterious about it.

You said that you would have stood up and said "blah blah blah". I posted that I would have yelled right back at you but that it's dangerous to go around yelling at strangers in public places. Read a paper, watch the news or something. Joe Shmoe was walking through the mall and someone cuts him off at the escalator. He calls the guy a jerk and the guy pulls a gun and shoots him. I made that up of course but you will see similar in the papers every year. In the situation the OP described it would be totaly irresponsible to be so confrontational. There is a time and a place for everything, but that time and place wasn't it.

I'm not out to get you I was making a comment about your post. Build a bridge and get over it already.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Speaking of 9/11--for those that think that children should be sheltered from everything, what should I have told my 6yo the other day when we were near the Pentagon? We took a wrong turn and went by the corner where the plane had crashed into the building and our 12yo asked if that was the corner that the plane had crashed into and we told him it was. Our 6yo wanted to know what we were talking about, so I told him that one time a plane crashed into that building. I left out the terrorist details, etc. and Jake did let it drop (which actually surprised me). If he had of asked more questions I would have given more details). How would you have handled that?

Sometimes a person doesn't plan these discussions--they just happen. As long as they are age appropriate I think they are ok. It's some of the graphics that are shown on tv or in the newspapers that can be very disturbing, especially to young children.

 

[dustysky]

My daughter and I had dinner at Chilies Friday night, the 20-something girl behind me and my daughter said F*** every other word.

My five year old said "she said a bad word", I simply said "yes she did". PERIOD. We moved on and had a great dinner.

I most likely should not even be replying here because I don't believe in making my kids live in a fantasy land of nothing bad ever happens and I have never ever believed that my kids were going to be ax-murders if they should happen to hear a cuss word. ITS LIFE. I want my kids prepared for the REAL world.

 

[sweet angel]

My daughter and I had dinner at Chilies Friday night, the 20-something girl behind me and my daughter said F*** every other word.

THAT is inappropriate...especially from young girl. I wouldn't have said anything, but that would've annoyed me -- and not so much for myself (because I've been known to have a mouth like a truck driver on occasion), but for those older patrons or patrons with young kids.

 

[ducklite]

How would you have handled that?

Exactly as you did.

Anne

 

[ducklite]

My daughter and I had dinner at Chilies Friday night, the 20-something girl behind me and my daughter said F*** every other word.

My five year old said "she said a bad word", I simply said "yes she did". PERIOD. We moved on and had a great dinner.

I most likely should not even be replying here because I don't believe in making my kids live in a fantasy land of nothing bad ever happens and I have never ever believed that my kids were going to be ax-murders if they should happen to hear a cuss word. ITS LIFE. I want my kids prepared for the REAL world.

Great post, and I agree, THAT language is inappropriate.

Anne

 

[Tigger&Belle]

This thread reminds me of something that my 6yo said tonight. We were driving and a Queen song came on the radio and I asked my 12yo if it was the song that Taylor sang on American Idol and he said it was. Then Jake, my 6yo, said, "Who on American Idol has a name that we can't say?". Took us a minute to think of Ace... He thought his name was a bad word. Up until very recently Jake has thought that bad words were idiot and stupid--guess he still doesn't quite have it figured out. Not bad for a kid with teenage siblings.

I'm not crazy about the F bomb being dropped continually in a conversation and that might be the thing that would get me to speak up. I'd sure use my discretion, but if it's in a restaurant I would at least ask to be moved.

 

[MushyMushy]

I most likely should not even be replying here because I don't believe in making my kids live in a fantasy land of nothing bad ever happens and I have never ever believed that my kids were going to be ax-murders if they should happen to hear a cuss word. ITS LIFE. I want my kids prepared for the REAL world.

That's so true, and it's better that their preparation comes from US first, rather than them being hit by it once they're out on their own in the real world without us.

Just as an example, in my town several years ago, we had a murder-suicide. Things like that just don't happen here, so it was pretty traumatic for the whole town. Anyway, this crazy religious nut-case school bus driver drove the route where the murder happened, and a few days afterward, she stopped the bus in front of the house and told the kids (elementary aged) about it and said that it was Satan at work.

Oh, she did get suspended from the job for a long time for that, and for proselytizing on the bus. I remember saying that she better never get my kids on her bus or I'd raise holy hell. Well, when she finally did get her job back, she was my DS's bus driver and we loved her to death. Really! She did learn to keep her mouth shut in front of the kids.

 

[summerrluvv]

THAT is inappropriate...especially from young girl. I wouldn't have said anything, but that would've annoyed me -- and not so much for myself (because I've been known to have a mouth like a truck driver on occasion), but for those older patrons or patrons with young kids.

Now THAT is annoying and makes me want to say something to the person (but I don't). We were at the waterpark a couple of weeks ago and the kids behind us couldn't have been more than 12 or 13 and kept saying "f" this "f" that.