What would you do? Inappropraite discussion in a restaurant

[goofygirl]

You know, it works both ways. Its not just adults with no kids who are talking loudly about whatever around whoever. I wish I had a dollar every time I heard a loud conversation by a family with (loud) kids that went something like: "Junior sit down! Junior stop it! Junior what did I tell you? Junior, do you wanna go potty? Go pee pee?" And then the kid(s) would start with "Momeeeeeee! Iwant this, I want that!" Do I really want to hear this?? And then they'd start kicking the seat, which is always a treat.

I'd rather sit next to adults talking loudly about murder, blood and guts then a family with noisy kids anyday!

 

[Disneyrsh]

You know, it works both ways. Its not just adults with no kids who are talking loudly about whatever around whoever. I wish I had a dollar every time I heard a loud conversation by a family with (loud) kids that went something like: "Junior sit down! Junior stop it! Junior what did I tell you? Junior, do you wanna go potty? Go pee pee?" And then the kid(s) would start with "Momeeeeeee! Iwant this, I want that!" Do I really want to hear this?? And then they'd start kicking the seat, which is always a treat.

I'd rather sit next to adults talking loudly about murder, blood and guts then a family with noisy kids anyday!

I agree.

We should expect more of each other, and we shouldn't be afraid to call people out on it, whether it's a gross adult conversation or a brat kicking the back of my movie theater seat.

Which happened last week at Cars. I politely asked the mom to stop her kid from kicking my seat. She said, "why don't you move if it bothers you." Again with this attitude!

So guess what my obnoxious self did?

I stood up in front of her, facing her, and said, "I think I'll stand, now. Your son is repeatedly kicking the back of my chair and I can't sit in it." She grabbed her kid and moved, swearing at me under her breath. Which wasn't actually my intention, I wanted the kid to stop, but whatever, problem solved.

If she had just said something to her kid, it would have been fine, but it's the whole, "If you don't like my behavior then tough noogies" garbage that really puts this whole society in the cultural toilet.

And despite this confrontational behavior on my part, I have yet to have someone attack me, despite all the other poster's warnings. I've found that most bullies are also cowards.

 

[katerkat]

I'd rather sit next to adults talking loudly about murder, blood and guts then a family with noisy kids anyday!

I'd rather sit next to adults talking about anything than sit next to my toddler.

 

[Bob Slydell]

I'd rather sit next to adults talking about anything than sit next to my toddler.

*Note: the was in reference to my toddler, not katerkat's

 

[goofygirl]

I reread the OP and noticed this:

We are enjoying our breakfast(and playing tic tac toe and hangman)

They were playing HANGman! That's a game where you draw a man hanging to death. This just stuck me funny, and ironic!

 

[phorsenuf]

I reread the OP and noticed this:



They were playing HANGman! That's a game where you draw a man hanging to death. This just stuck me funny, and ironic!

Guess that is a litle ironic, eh??

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

This is a really different perspective than my own, and I'm struggling to understand it. I think how you honor that day is every bit as valid as how I do, but I gotta ask, why would you watch it again?

For me, the scars from living through it once were bad enough-what good can come of watching it again?

Seriously, because I don't understand...

I NEVER said I watched it. So there is nothing to understand--as I'm not claiming what you are attempting to understand.

I said I have it on tape. That tape is stored away. It is for historical reference only.

There is pure CRAP getting passed around--including many conspiracy theories claiming that what happened was falsified.

I do not HONOR the victims by watching the footage. I have NO idea where you go that as the question was how to handle the inquiries of children on that subject and not how we choose to honor the victims of that day.

I honor the truth of the day by having the footage on hand--so that IF my child inquires--or I get some moron trying to pass of a falsehood as a fact--I have the unaltered shown live on that day footage---that noone has tampered with in order to manipulate history to their advantage.

 

[N.Bailey]

I agree.

We should expect more of each other, and we shouldn't be afraid to call people out on it, whether it's a gross adult conversation or a brat kicking the back of my movie theater seat.

Which happened last week at Cars. I politely asked the mom to stop her kid from kicking my seat. She said, "why don't you move if it bothers you." Again with this attitude!

So guess what my obnoxious self did?

I stood up in front of her, facing her, and said, "I think I'll stand, now. Your son is repeatedly kicking the back of my chair and I can't sit in it." She grabbed her kid and moved, swearing at me under her breath. Which wasn't actually my intention, I wanted the kid to stop, but whatever, problem solved.

If she had just said something to her kid, it would have been fine, but it's the whole, "If you don't like my behavior then tough noogies" garbage that really puts this whole society in the cultural toilet.

And despite this confrontational behavior on my part, I have yet to have someone attack me, despite all the other poster's warnings. I've found that most bullies are also cowards.

I don't agree with you on the restaurant, but I love how you handled this.

 

[Disneyrsh]

I NEVER said I watched it. So there is nothing to understand--as I'm not claiming what you are attempting to understand.

I said I have it on tape. That tape is stored away. It is for historical reference only.

There is pure CRAP getting passed around--including many conspiracy theories claiming that what happened was falsified.

I do not HONOR the victims by watching the footage. I have NO idea where you go that as the question was how to handle the inquiries of children on that subject and not how we choose to honor the victims of that day.

Well, that was a giant steaming pile of off topic p**p I stepped in. I re-read your post about 9-11,

For the 9/11 question. My oldest was 1--and I taped and taped and taped and taped.

Forgive if If I assumed you watched it when you taped it.

My daughter asks...I can show her footage. We don't have to read a sanitized book or a Harvard dissertation on the subject. We can watch and we can chat.

I assumed when you posted the above quote that this was what you meant when you posted

the question was how to handle the inquiries of children on that subject

I regret asking a philosophical question. 'Twas pointless.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Well, that was a giant steaming pile of off topic p**p I stepped in. I re-read your post about 9-11,



Forgive if If I assumed you watched it when you taped it.

I assumed when you posted the above quote that this was what you meant when you posted

I regret asking a philosophical question. 'Twas pointless.

You assumed wrong.

I'm pretty straightforward in my posts.

I said I taped and taped and taped (I think I have 12 hours of footage--maybe 18 if I filled 3 tapes...but I'm not at home to check right now).

I never said I watched and watched and watched every year which is how I responded as I did to your "why would you watch it again?"

I did watch it as it happened. I haven't watched it since.

I don't understand the point of your philosophical question when you misread what I typed.


The posed question was how do you handle 9/11 for your kids. I was very clear. I have the footage for my daughters to see so that they have what the history is. Not some mixed up, misedited, misinterpreted drivel as they are passing around on the internet right now.

 

[CheshireVal]

Really I think you can't shield your kids from the world as long as you're taking them out in public.

What if someone were talking about their friend who worked as Mickey at WDW for a summer? What if someone were talking about a relative who is dying of cancer? What if a homosexual couple walked into the restaurant holding hands? What if a woman walked in wearing an inappropriately low cut shirt? What if someone were talking about a ghost tour they just took in Charleston or Savannah? What if they just read Helter Skelter and were telling a friend about it?

These are all things that various parents might want to shield children from, but, really, you can't dictate what the world around you says or does, as much as you may want to.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

There's a difference between "sheltering" your children and having a reasonable expectation that people having consideration for those who are in earshot.

 

[gina2000]

Well, since I was the one who brought up 9/11, I guess I gotta come back and 'splain again.

When a truly horrific act occurs in your area, it is virtually impossible to shut the doors on it. You can turn off the tv, turn off the radio and watch Nickelodeon til your eyeballs roll around in your head but that doesn't mean that your child won't hear about it in passing from someone. That's the way it goes.

Let me give you an example. My son was made aware of 9/11 in a quiet, non graphic fashion when it happened. He did ask a few questions (most 7 year olds do) and we dropped it. A few months later I was helping out at school....the kids were doing a Christmas project. What do I see my son doing? He's smashing a white styrofoam cup with a few buddies of his and announcing that the WTC has gone splat (or something to that effect). He never saw pictures of it. We never discussed it in those terms. But guess what? Someone gave him the idea to recreate King Kong and the WTC.

I nearly lost it. I live less than 20 miles from lower Manhattan and worked in lower Manhattan for most of my career. I was not happy. I yelled. And then I had to calm down and discuss the tragedy again....this time emphasizing the terrible loss of human life and the horror of living through the days following 9/11.

He never, ever pulled such a stupid stunt again.

You know what I learned that day? I learned that someone else taught him something about the WTC disaster that I didn't and he ran with it. It was inappropriate and ugly. I couldn't shelter him from what others told him. All I could do was counteract it with my own explanations. I could only discuss the inappropriateness of his action.

He learned things I didn't want him to learn DESPITE my teachings. So keep it in mind the next time you don't want your child to learn about something. It's gonna happen.

And this JOISEY girl would like to pass on the duck but would love some mango salsa.

 

[Disneyrsh]

You assumed wrong.

I'm pretty straightforward in my posts.

I said I taped and taped and taped (I think I have 12 hours of footage--maybe 18 if I filled 3 tapes...but I'm not at home to check right now).

I never said I watched and watched and watched every year which is how I responded as I did to your "why would you watch it again?"

I did watch it as it happened. I haven't watched it since.

I don't understand the point of your philosophical question when you misread what I typed.


The posed question was how do you handle 9/11 for your kids. I was very clear. I have the footage for my daughters to see so that they have what the history is. Not some mixed up, misedited, misinterpreted drivel as they are passing around on the internet right now.

Ok, I get that you're angry about whatever video is going around on the internet. I'll take your word for it that it is garbling the actual events.

My point about philosophical questions wasn't that I couldn't have a discussion with you, but that they're difficult in general to do well.

I will also point out that I never said you "watched and watched and watched every year", you improperly attributed that to me. The difference in our outlook was that you would want to sit down with your kids and watch 18 hours of footage when you think they're ready for it, and I wouldn't, and I didn't understand how watching all that again would be helpful to kids, whatever age they are.

Why make that horror as fresh for them as it is for us?

Why make them live through the tragedy like we had to?

Why not spare them that?

 

[Disneyrsh]

Really I think you can't shield your kids from the world as long as you're taking them out in public.

What if someone were talking about their friend who worked as Mickey at WDW for a summer? What if someone were talking about a relative who is dying of cancer? What if a homosexual couple walked into the restaurant holding hands? What if a woman walked in wearing an inappropriately low cut shirt? What if someone were talking about a ghost tour they just took in Charleston or Savannah? What if they just read Helter Skelter and were telling a friend about it?

These are all things that various parents might want to shield children from, but, really, you can't dictate what the world around you says or does, as much as you may want to.

Ok, for arguments sake (cause you know I love to argue ), let's look at these situations.

1. People who work as characters at Disney are very careful not to discuss their job in front of kids. I've seen other threads where the cast members with these positions take them *very* seriously and I doubt that conversation would ever occur in my kids' earshot. On a similar note, I did have my dotty 78 year old tennis partner going on and on about "all the Santas" one day and I had to do some quick thinking with my girls and explain to them that just like they like to dress up as their favorite character on halloween, adults like to dress up as Santa around Christmas to get into the spirit. I said you could tell they were in costume because of the fake beards and hair, just like their Ariel and CInderella costumes had fake hair. The "Santa" they visit every year is always the same guy and I actually think he may possibly BE Santa.

2. We've been at Disney during Gay Days a couple of times. From my kids' perspective, it's ok for everyone to hold hands. My DH holds his mother's hand, I hold my mother's hand, the girls hold each other's hand. It's just something people do to show they care about each other, no biggie. And they don't assume that, they've specifically talked about how when you care about someone you hold hands.

3. Low cut dress? Well, I walk around naked in front of them, they don't think it's a big deal, I don't think it's a big deal. They're taught that bodies aren't dirty or shameful, and if some woman has a nice pair of hooters that she's showing off, well, more power to her. My girls could care less, but they will give a pretty informed opinion of how well the dress fits and if it's a good color on her .

4. Ghosts? Are you serious? Kids LOVE ghosts. I've never met a kid who wasn't simultaneously terrified and utterly absorbed by ghosts, ghouls and goblins. Helllooo, Halloween?

5. If people were discussing an adult topic, ie the Charles Manson case, in public, in earshot, then it's the original topic all over again. There's no way to discuss how Manson broke into a house and slaughered an 8 months pregnant woman in public with any degree of decency.

I can't dictate what the world does, but I think I do a darn good job of filtering it for my kids. And the whole attitude of "you can't change it so why bother" is so defeatist.