What would you do-Christmas??

[Skywalker]

If all the children were grown up and it was adults getting together I'd probably say sure postpone it. But you have children, and no way should they have Christmas postponed by a day. The wait is agonizing enough for them just to finally make it to Christmas morning, lol!

 

[debster812]

Well, I guess I'll be the lone dissenter.

My dad is a retired firefighter, and worked until I was married, and had our son. Dad retired when DS was 2 or 3 I think. Anyway, growing up, there was MANY a year, when we'd do Christmas on Christmas Eve, or Christmas Night, or 2 days after Christmas, depending on his schedule. (Same deal for Thanksgiving, Easter, etc). In our family, it was not so much 'the day' that mattered, but that the family was ALL together, celebrating, and enjoying being with each other.

I'd let the kids open a few token gifts, but save the bulk of it for when everyone's together. JMHO of course.

 

[Maridw]

Are you sure that we are not related? Sounds like my sister and your sister are the same person.

Mine wants us to come to her house for Christmas this year. My parents & brother are going and we are considering it. I told her when I went to my niece's wedding that if my DD could not get off work then we would not be there. We would not leave my DD alone for Christmas. She has done this with her youngest DS, so she should understand. The first words out of her mouth were "Then tell her to put in for the time off now. She should be able to get off." No one said that to her when she couldn't come out to my parents and wouldn't leave her DS.

My sister is the one that KNOWS IT ALL!! And she never likes anything that my DH & I give her for Christmas. I am at the point where I just tell her no more Christmas gifts at all. I also have as little to do with her as possible because she is too controlling.

Go with the two celebrations. Stand firm and don't give in.

 

[C.Ann]

This year we have decided to go to my Dad and Step-Mom's for Christmas (they want to have a family Christmas at their place-10 hour drive for us). They want our family and my sister's family to come down. This is the year for my sister's family to go to the in-law's for Christmas so, they will go down to the in-laws for a couple days before Christmas, spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day there then drive down to Dad's on Saturday. She asked that we wait to have Christmas on Sunday so they aren't an "afterthough (her words)". I told her that we plan to open our gifts with the kids and Grandma and Grandpa on Christmas Day like we always do and when they get there we can do a second round of gift opening with them. I am sure we will have our big Christmas meal when they get there too. Well, my sister got all mad that we won't accommodate them. I asked her if they were going to make their kids wait and not open all of their presents until they got to Dad's house too. She didn't answer that one.

So, what would you do, keep your tradition or sit around on Christmas and do nothing (since nothing is open on Christmas)?

I would stick with your original plan.. There's no reason for your children to have to "wait" and do Christmas on a different day to accomodate someone else..

Yeah - your sister will get mad - but she'll get over it..

Don't you love the holidays? Just brings out the "best" in everyone..

 

[SomePixiedust]

She asked that we wait to have Christmas on Sunday so they aren't an "afterthough (her words)".

But she is making you HER "afterthought"....I would go with two celebrations.

 

[NMAmy]

Well, I guess I'll be the lone dissenter.

My dad is a retired firefighter, and worked until I was married, and had our son. Dad retired when DS was 2 or 3 I think. Anyway, growing up, there was MANY a year, when we'd do Christmas on Christmas Eve, or Christmas Night, or 2 days after Christmas, depending on his schedule. (Same deal for Thanksgiving, Easter, etc). In our family, it was not so much 'the day' that mattered, but that the family was ALL together, celebrating, and enjoying being with each other.

I'd let the kids open a few token gifts, but save the bulk of it for when everyone's together. JMHO of course.

I do agree with you--I'm divorced and sometimes I had my dd on the holiday and some years, I didn't. I can make it Christmas any day of the year.

However, the OP's sister is planning to have Christmas on Christmas Day with her IL's but would like everyone else to hold off until she arrives. That's selfish, in my opinion. While I would hold off on Christmas until my dad or my husband or my child could be there--we're not waiting on any aunties to fit us into their schedule when they're celebrating on the regular holiday with other members of their family.

 

[disykat]

I do agree with you--I'm divorced and sometimes I had my dd on the holiday and some years, I didn't. I can make it Christmas any day of the year.

However, the OP's sister is planning to have Christmas on Christmas Day with her IL's but would like everyone else to hold off until she arrives. That's selfish, in my opinion. While I would hold off on Christmas until my dad or my husband or my child could be there--we're not waiting on any aunties to fit us into their schedule when they're celebrating on the regular holiday with other members of their family.

I agree. Putting off because a loved one is "missing" Christmas due to work or illness and you want to wait for them is perfectly reasonable. Someone wanting you not to celebrate because they are celebrating elsewhere is not reasonable.

 

[luvmy3]

Have Christmas as usual and then a second round when the sister's family arrives.

It never fails to amaze me how weird grown adults can get about Christmas. (Not you, OP, your sister.)

This is exactly what I would do. The great thing about Christmas, is that you get to have it over and over again when you get together with family. Our Christmas celebrations usually last the entire week, until and sometimes including New Years day. We can't see everyone on Christmas Day and I couldn't imagine making any of my family, especially kids wait for a day that we could visit. Thats just plain craziness.

 

[DizBelle]

I constantly amazed at how many "centers of the universe" there are in this one universe.

 

[TinkerbEllnor]

Say you did have your kids wait until her and her family showed up... Would her kids then be all upset because your kids get to open 20 presents while hers only got to open 1-2 because they already did theirs a few days before?

Knowing the kids in my family, not one of them would want to sit around and watch another kid open all their presents when they don't have any left.

'That's right, sis, it wouldn't be fair to YOUR kids to have to watch, so we will be opening ours on Christmas, then they all have the same amount when we get together a few days later'

 

[englishteacha]

My family celebrates Thanksgiving on the Saturday after Thanksgiving because there are so many of us. (I have 7 siblings) It doesn't seem fair to my family to ask 8 sets of in-laws to give up their kids for Thanksgiving when we could just as easily move our celebration. So for about 15 years we've had Thanksgiving on Saturday. I would never ask my family to give up a holiday with their own families so that they could accomodate me because I chose to spend the holiday with my in-laws. Perhaps it's time for your sister to have her own family Christmas at her own house with just her, and her DH and kids!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Sorry sister--but we are opening gifts on DECEMBER 25TH. It is how it is done in our family. If you can't make the day, your gifts are held until you show up, but the family doesn't wait on your behind while you are off celebrating with another family.

Now if the relative was coming from a war zone, I'd change my tune--but it seems she wants both families to revolve around her schedule and I think her request is pitiful.

 

[Wishing on a star]

1. Why is your sister bringing this up with YOU, when your dad and step-mom are the hosts????

2. She is freakin' out of her mind!

Celebrate Christmas, ON Christmas....

If it had all been pre-arranged for everyone to show up for a 'late' Christmas for some valid reason, I would find that to be understandable and reasonable.

For your sister to even think she should ask everyone else to sit there and not celebrate Christmas while SHE celebrates somewhere else, for her HER convienience..

Here is my reponse -

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Well, I guess I'll be the lone dissenter.

My dad is a retired firefighter, and worked until I was married, and had our son. Dad retired when DS was 2 or 3 I think. Anyway, growing up, there was MANY a year, when we'd do Christmas on Christmas Eve, or Christmas Night, or 2 days after Christmas, depending on his schedule. (Same deal for Thanksgiving, Easter, etc). In our family, it was not so much 'the day' that mattered, but that the family was ALL together, celebrating, and enjoying being with each other.

I'd let the kids open a few token gifts, but save the bulk of it for when everyone's together. JMHO of course.

That's considerate of your familiy and what I would do in similar shoes.'

The sister though is not off fighting fires or saving lives. She is opening gifts and stuffing her face at her in-laws house.

It is selfish of her to expect folks to wait for her to show her presence when she is off ENJOYING the holiday with other people.

Hardly the same scenario at all.

 

[golfgal]

1. Why is your sister bringing this up with YOU, when your dad and step-mom are the hosts????

2. She is freakin' out of her mind!

Celebrate Christmas, ON Christmas....

If it had all been pre-arranged for everyone to show up for a 'late' Christmas for some valid reason, I would find that to be understandable and reasonable.

For your sister to even think she should ask everyone else to sit there and not celebrate Christmas while SHE celebrates somewhere else, for her HER convienience..

Here is my reponse -

Since this pretty much sums up what everyone else said, if this was a secondary celebration to our normal celebration then who cares what day it is on, we celebrate with DH's family on the Saturday before Christmas but the only gifts that get opened then are the ones that the cousin's exchange and the ones from Grandma and Grandpa. We then, in past years, go to Christmas Eve Mass and open presents on Christmas morning with our kids and any guests that might be there (sometimes my Dad and Step-Mom). Since this is our ONLY family celebration I am NOT waiting.

Last year my Dad and Step-Mom were at our house for Christmas. My sister and her family wanted us to wait until they got to our house before we opened presents. I offered to let them spend the night at our house and we could all do a Christmas morning deal ( they live 30 minutes away so no big travel for them), they wanted to do their own thing at their own house-fine-but don't ask US to wait for you. She is pretty clueless.

Even if my Dad and Step-Mom wanted to wait and have the kids open the presents from them until my sister gets there (they won't) we would still do our family presents on Christmas morning.

 

[surfgirl]

I HAVE THE ANSWER!!!!

(yes, I'm shouting).


Do your plan. It is unreasonable to expect kids to wait 2 days after Christmas to open gifts. What exactly are they going to play with at Gma/Gpa's house while waiting for her to arrive ?

Here is the genius part:
1) Go to Costco, Dollar Tree, etc.
2) buy 10 extra rolls of wrapping paper
3) re-wrap all the gifts that were opened on Christmas Day.
4) put them back under the tree.
5) re-open them on Christmas Day + 2 (she can't even make Boxing Day ?!?)

everyone is happy : )

if she finds out, remind her that her kids opened gifts on Christmas Day. Be ready for major explosion. Honestly, that is a battle I would fight. And win.

 

[EMom]

This year we have decided to go to my Dad and Step-Mom's for Christmas (they want to have a family Christmas at their place-10 hour drive for us). They want our family and my sister's family to come down. This is the year for my sister's family to go to the in-law's for Christmas so, they will go down to the in-laws for a couple days before Christmas, spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day there then drive down to Dad's on Saturday. She asked that we wait to have Christmas on Sunday so they aren't an "afterthough (her words)". I told her that we plan to open our gifts with the kids and Grandma and Grandpa on Christmas Day like we always do and when they get there we can do a second round of gift opening with them. I am sure we will have our big Christmas meal when they get there too. Well, my sister got all mad that we won't accommodate them. I asked her if they were going to make their kids wait and not open all of their presents until they got to Dad's house too. She didn't answer that one.

So, what would you do, keep your tradition or sit around on Christmas and do nothing (since nothing is open on Christmas)?

She didn't answer because she was too busy fuming inwardly and thinking, "Curse you! Curse you and your stinking logic! A Christmas plague on you!"

 

[golfgal]

She didn't answer because she was too busy fuming inwardly and thinking, "Curse you! Curse you and your stinking logic! A Christmas plague on you!"

Well, we haven't "lovingly" referred to her as the family "Princess" for nothing .

 

[agnes!]

Say you did have your kids wait until her and her family showed up... Would her kids then be all upset because your kids get to open 20 presents while hers only got to open 1-2 because they already did theirs a few days before?

Knowing the kids in my family, not one of them would want to sit around and watch another kid open all their presents when they don't have any left.

'That's right, sis, it wouldn't be fair to YOUR kids to have to watch, so we will be opening ours on Christmas, then they all have the same amount when we get together a few days later'

This is *brilliant*.

Sorry sister--but we are opening gifts on DECEMBER 25TH. It is how it is done in our family. If you can't make the day, your gifts are held until you show up, but the family doesn't wait on your behind while you are off celebrating with another family.

Now if the relative was coming from a war zone, I'd change my tune--but it seems she wants both families to revolve around her schedule and I think her request is pitiful.

Indeed.

Well, we haven't "lovingly" referred to her as the family "Princess" for nothing .

More like a Princess with a broomstick ...

agnes!

 

[minkydog]

I don't think that was fair of your sister to ask you to postpone Christmas. Like you said you will all celebrate when they get there.

If not I would just look forward to two celebrations, one Christmas day and another when they arrive! She shouldn't really expect your kids to postpone Christmas.

This one gets my vote. There are 5 of us siblings and we live from one end of the country to the other. We're all married and 3 of us have young kids. We are rarely in the same place at the same time, and that includes Christmas. What we have done is celebrate whenever we're together. Barbara can come Friday, but Patti can't get there until Sunday? Cool! Two parties! Tommy can't come at all and Laura won't be here until February? We'll celebrate whenever and wherever we can.

In our family we open only presents that are from each other. For instance, if we're in grandparents' presence we'll open everything from the grandparents, but save the gifties from aunts and uncles until they come. It is not unheard of for us to have 4 celebrations between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I say, the more the merrier! HO HO HO!!