what would u do???

[wideeyes]

I am shocked at how you are being treated, good on you today keep it up. you realise who your true friends are when you need them unfortantly this "friend" didn't see that.

 

[buzz for boys]

i am sat here & can't believe,what i have read!
i cannot comprehend,grown women,behaving in such a way.they are mothers for goodness sake,how can they not have compassion,for what you,cam & your family,are going through!
i really can't imagine,putting a friend,or even someone i knew,through something so,nasty & vindictive.what are they thinking!

tracy

For anyone to understand why she has such power over me in terms of why people blindly followed her is actually the most hurtful part of all this for me - She was stranger to me up until her little boy was diagnosised with a rare type of cancer and she phoned me through a mutual friend and asked for my help !! Her best friends at the time had done the typical run in the opposite drection response and I went to see her at the hospital and tried to be there for her. I went every single day to her visit her and her son even when he was on the exact same ward and room as my Cam I still decided not to turn my back and im not ashamed to admit I went to hell and back reliving our own nightmare to help her. Sadly her little man didnt make it and ill never forget having to go and say goodbye before they turned the machines off

I defended her and sheltered her from the playground gossips the whole time she was going through hell.
So you see everyone on that playground knows this and so therefore for us to fall out was a massive thing - obviously when she was asked why we had fell out she couldnt say because she hadnt got the bottle to stand by me so instead she has said that im lying and blowing everything up to gain sympathy The latest part of im copying her story is because before they knew what was wrong with her son they wrongly said it was likely to be leukemia - so now she has wind that I said cam was been tested im therefore copying her story and wanting to be her and all the sheep are the playground are following her line of thought because most dont have a brain cell !
Honestly i dont blame the other moms with their dull little lives this is brightening their day - I blame her entirelly and grief does no longer excuse this as its just vindictive and calculated and ill stand corrected but im sure acts of grief are spontaneous and unplanned ????

 

[Queenie]

Just wanted to say how sorry I am for you to be going through all this crap. My mind boggles at how unbelievably petty people can be and still call themselves adults, I know small children with far higher standards of decency. I'm sure the DISsers will always be there for you.

 

[fizz13]

Just came to check in and see how today went and i think how you handled it was fantastic hun, well done, that must have been so scary. and even better you walked away with a smile for the day, big hugs, you have earnt them
I really hope this is the start of the turning point for this whole sorry mess, and you're right, grief does not excuse this behaviour, no way! x

 

[scojos]

If she is employed by the school, i would call you local LEA, it is at worst gross proffessional misconduct, divulgance of personal info, at best unproffessional...
if you have showed texts etc to the school/head, what support have they offered you? have you tried any support network channels, social services, outreach teams etc? when josh had his diagnosis, i felt unable to cope (im not saying your unable to cope) and they sent me a "helper" for a few days, it was a massive help
i thnk whatyou are failing to see is that you are being bullied. bullys "divide and conquer" she is doing this for power, and the other moms are being daft enough to let her. i agree with mrs pegasus, could you really ever forgive her for the extra, unneccasary pressure she is putting you trough at the mo?
phone tthe police and ask advice, you can do this anonomously, and they will tell you any inf you need (wedid this when havingprobs with a neighbour)
lastly - you do not need to justify anything to anyone. ou do nt need to prove cams illness to anyone, your behaviour to anyone, these other mothers, do you need their approval? they can only hurt you if you let them
hope you get it sorted
tracy

 

[mickeyforpresident]

her facebook comments say that she feels like im trying to become her!!
I am using her story to make up lies about my own and that basically there is nothing wrong with Cam at the moment - backed up by the fact that he hasnt had his op - there are then several comments from fellow 'friends' saying that maybe i make it up for attention !! One has even put maybe he has never had cancer??? Im appaled to see that the nurse has posted if he needed this op they would have done it by now!!!

I'm sorry buzz for boys, but I don't know you from Adam (or Eve!!) so forgive me for interfering but i've been following this thread with interest, but this part of your posting (for the first time since joining the DIS) made me so cross. Both of these women are completely out of order - BIG STYLE. OK - the member of staff at the school. I'm a headteacher, and if I saw the FB posting that you describe would lead me to disciplinary action and probably dismissal - HOW DARE A MEMBER OF STAFF BULLY A PARENT!! No way, not acceptable in any way (I hadn't realised that she was a member of teh school's staff when I last posted!) In my LEA, FB disciplinary actions against school staff is one of the biggest problems for HR. I'm assuming you've kept the Headteacher informed about your Son, so they will know what is going on and should be extremely cross about what their member of staff is posting!! Even after typing this im still cross and as I said I have no idea of who you are, but I'm so sorry!!!!

As for teh nurse, if she has posted anything at all about your son - anything at all, PLEASE take this further. She too has broken her professional responsibilities and needs to be repremanded for her actions.

Right - i'll try and but out now! (You obvioulsy have a lot of great friends on the DIS!!)

MfP

 

[Pegasus928]

I know I have mentioned them before but I would contact Parent Partnership and see what advice they could offer.

We have had cause to speak to them just yesterday after problems that DS has had - also regarding FB and bullying at school. I won't go into details but PP has given us good advice about what we should do, and what to do if that fails.

I really do hope that you decide to take this further and that all of these women are made to feel very sorry for what they are putting you through.

Kenny

 

[Ware Bears]

Just catching up and I am absolutely appalled by what I've just read.

to you Louise, you so don't need friends like these.

 

[buzz for boys]

I'm a headteacher, and if I saw the FB posting that you describe would lead me to disciplinary action and probably dismissal - HOW DARE A MEMBER OF STAFF BULLY A PARENT!! No way, not acceptable in any way (I hadn't realised that she was a member of teh school's staff when I last posted!) In my LEA, FB disciplinary actions against school staff is one of the biggest problems for HR. I'm assuming you've kept the Headteacher informed about your Son, so they will know what is going on and should be extremely cross about what their member of staff is posting!! ,

Firstly Thank you !! The headteacher at the school has said that he has to tread carefully as she is a grieving mother ??? But from your post you are saying that he should be dealing with this!! He does know all about Cameron and has spoken tot he hospital himself when Cam was being tested for leukemia as the hospital phoned the school to inform them of what was going on as I got too upset to be able to do it!! I believe he has spoken to all the women involved as facebook comments have been deleted -but thanks for the advice of where I stand in terms of taking further if i have too !

As for teh nurse, if she has posted anything at all about your son - anything at all, PLEASE take this further. She too has broken her professional responsibilities and needs to be repremanded for her actions.
I dont really want to get people to lose their jobs because of me -it all seems really petty and im not sure I want to be the one that puts a mother of 3 out of a job!! I will however refuse to have her care for Cam anymore and if this means i need to report her to acheive this then at that point I will

Right - i'll try and but out now! (You obvioulsy have a lot of great friends on the DIS!!)
Yes I do - my dis friends are the best!!
MfP

Again thank you x

 

[pigspacey]

I really understand what your saying about the nurse and not wanting to put her out of a job but it's totally wrong for her to have said anything about you or your little one.
I'm a staff nurse and have to work to a very strick code of conduct set down by the Nursing and Midwifery council. This is just a tiny bit of the code (its very very long!)

The people in your care must be able to trust you with their health and wellbeing.

To justify that trust, you must

make the care of people your first concern, treating them as individuals and respecting their dignity
work with others to protect and promote the health and wellbeing of those in your care, their families and carers, and the wider community
provide a high standard of practice and care at all times
be open and honest, act with integrity and uphold the reputation of your profession
You must respect people's right to confidentiality

Can you honestly say this Nurse has followed this code?
I'm sorry to poke my nose in but you seem to take so many knocks and you keep on getting up and fighting back.
You and your family deserve better care then that
Rant over!

 

[DisneyJo]

I'm so so sorry that you're having to deal with this woman, I really have no advice and see you've been given some great info but wanted to send you a hug

 

[wideeyes]

I can understand you not wanting to take it any futher with the nurse however I think you well within your rights.

She doesn't seem to have any compassion, much believe in ethics of her job and should not be in a role of trust and responsiblity.

If you do report her tt wouldn't be because of you she loses her job it would because of her actions.

 

[buzz for boys]

Thanks guys.
I do understand what you are all saying and my best friend said to me tonight m8 they are grown women making their own decisions and they will lose jobs because of the decisions they made!!
I do know that is true but lets say I do make an official complaint and they both lose their jobs ,
The school loses a member of staff and I know my ex friend will lose her house and the 3 kids who lost their brother will then have lost their house too - I cant do that to them !!

The nurse - I have no real connections to her other tahn she is another mom on the playground but she too has 2 small kids that will lose out big time!!
But bigger than that - we have to go to this hospital regulaurly and she works as part of quite a small team that look after Cam - if i get her teh sack will I really get the care for cam he deserves or will we be treated like lepers for making the complaint !!
So as well as protecting the kids in all this there is also a bit of protecting us !!We dont have the luxury of going to a different hospital we have to go thereor London and who loses the most if we have to go to London instead of 20 mins down road????

I appreciate everyones advice and maybe through my emotional state at the moment I am wrong but I really just want this to end and if people lose jobs it never really will will it ??

 

[silver apple]

Ultimately you need to be comfortable with any action you take, but I can only reiterate that you are dealing with adults who lost their right to your respect and consideration when they started this nonsense.

I can't comment on what action a school might take regarding a member of staff, however I am a nursing sister and I can reassure you that the the nurse would not lose her job, but she would quite rightly be disciplined. Her colleagues would most likely be disgusted at her unprofesionalism and lack of discretion. Don't worry that you would face a backlash, they will absolutely support you and your family.

 

[froggy5657]

I wouldn't take the boys out of school. As a student changing schools is not something I ever want to do. As for the FB issues, I would either delete her as a friend or else delete the account and make a new one friending only those who are true friends. I am truly sorry that you have to deal with this. It definitely stinks Sending MAJOR pixie dust your way

 

[Jets fan]

Really hope the fact that this thread has gone quiet means that the school have stamped out this disgusting behaviour by parents now, Louise.

Tina

 

[buzz for boys]

I wish Tina!! School have discplined all their staff but im afraid that has just upped that anti!!!
a mutual friend of both of us came round on saturday fro a coffee and the subject turned and I said i wasnt prepared to discuss it and put her in that postion. what I did say was that I felt it was hurtful and unneccesary she replied that whatever I had been told had been took out of context as she is a good person When I said it had come from our friend directly and that a close friends of hers had told me about the facebook comments the mood turned and she left. UNBELIEVABLE

Well as expected Monday morning was horrendous and they were all standing there talking amongst themselves as to who would have told me what was going on - she then comes over and tells me that she feels hurt and betrayed by my behaviour !!
I feel like im missing something here she acts like a totally deranged psycho and im the one that has made her feel hurt and betrayed ??? maybe staying quite and not punching her in the face has hurt her in some way. My dh says i need to move on and focus on anything but her and the silly cows at the school - that is so much easier to say than do but I am trying and ive still not argued back at all just stood there like an idiot taking it I do get so angry though that I start to shake all over and it takes me ages to calm down enough to be able to drive away.

 

[buzz for boys]

OMG just found out that she has been awarded our local paper hero in the community award !! Am I seriously missing something here I seriously am angry now what a joke !!

 

[Dimplenose]

Keep up the good work of ingnoring her stupid antics, she can obviously dupe a lot of people but one day she'll slip up and people will see her for what she really is.

 

[Jets fan]

Oh Louise, I really though that these people had shut up and left you alone. So sorry to hear it's still going on.

Big hugs
Tina