What was this parent thinking?

[MsMagical]

I have to wonder, is it exhausting being so perfect all the time?

I was wondering this too. My kids are very attached to me and I am very loving and attentive but I don't believe I am so amazing that my individual, thinking little human beings couldn't wander off or slip away. In fact, all three of them have. I won't apologize or penalize myself for it either. It happened and it was scary and they are fine. Control is an illusion. Something could and is much more likely to happen when I send my daughter to school, out of my sight, all day long. Or to my oldest who lives 3000 miles away. How could I possibly let them out of my sight?! Because, that is life.

OP did the right thing if they were concerned and I would hope to have a kind soul do the same should my children appear lost or scared. Since I don't know the mother of the child found crying, I don't know any more than that about the situation so I will not judge what I don't know.

 

[soupy11]

I have to wonder, is it exhausting being so perfect all the time?

This is the DIS! Everyone here is perfect and would never make mistakes. Are you new?

 

[mshanson3121]

I was wondering this too. My kids are very attached to me and I am very loving and attentive but I don't believe I am so amazing that my individual, thinking little human beings couldn't wander off or slip away. In fact, all three of them have. I won't apologize or penalize myself for it either. It happened and it was scary and they are fine. Control is an illusion. Something could and is much more likely to happen when I send my daughter to school, out of my sight, all day long. Or to my oldest who lives 3000 miles away. How could I possibly let them out of my sight?! Because, that is life.

OP did the right thing if they were concerned and I would hope to have a kind soul do the same should my children appear lost or scared. Since I don't know the mother of the child found crying, I don't know any more than that about the situation so I will not judge what I don't know.

This is kind of off the mark from what most of us are saying. We're not saying that children can't slip off, or that she needs blamed for the child slipping off. In fact, almost all of us have said how easy it can happen, and that it's happened to us. What we ARE saying, is that there is a HUGE difference between a child that is by your side getting away from you, and intentionally leaving a child alone. One is an unintentional accident that can happen to anyone, the other is an irresponsible choice. There's a huge difference.

 

[Laketravis]

This is kind of off the mark from what most of us are saying. We're not saying that children can't slip off, or that she needs blamed for the child slipping off. In fact, almost all of us have said how easy it can happen, and that it's happened to us. What we ARE saying, is that there is a HUGE difference between a child that is by your side getting away from you, and intentionally leaving a child alone. One is an unintentional accident that can happen to anyone, the other is an irresponsible choice. There's a huge difference.

I think we all know that. But we don't know that the child the OP posted about was intentionally left alone. It's only been assumed.

 

[IWannaBuildASnowman]

I think we all know that. But we don't know that the child the OP posted about was intentionally left alone. It's only been assumed.

Bingo!

 

[Belle & Ariel]

As I read this thread, I think you would not leave your purse/valuables unattended while you buy a pastry, use restroom, etc. BUT you leave a toddler alone??????

 

[MsMagical]

This is kind of off the mark from what most of us are saying. We're not saying that children can't slip off, or that she needs blamed for the child slipping off. In fact, almost all of us have said how easy it can happen, and that it's happened to us. What we ARE saying, is that there is a HUGE difference between a child that is by your side getting away from you, and intentionally leaving a child alone. One is an unintentional accident that can happen to anyone, the other is an irresponsible choice. There's a huge difference.

It isn't off the mark from this post:

I just do not agree with the "so easy to lose a child" Idea. I know things happen to well intentioned attentive parents in unique situations. However I have witnessed way too much non-attentive parenting at Disney World and in general to say it is mostly "easy" to lose a child.

It is easy..very easy when the child is not being watched over. If it was that easy I would never go to Disney World

I don't believe I addressed the issue of leaving a child intentionally at all. That was intentional since that particular issue was addressed extensively prior to my comment. What more would there have been to say about it? On top of that, I don't know what that mother was or was not doing and it seems silly to make assumptions when I wasn't there.

 

[mshanson3121]

It isn't off the mark from this post:



I don't believe I addressed the issue of leaving a child intentionally at all. That was intentional since that particular issue was addressed extensively prior to my comment. What more would there have been to say about it? On top of that, I don't know what that mother was or was not doing and it seems silly to make assumptions when I wasn't there.

My apologies. I didn't see that one, didn't know what you were referencing.

 

[Nata]

This is kind of off the mark from what most of us are saying. We're not saying that children can't slip off, or that she needs blamed for the child slipping off. In fact, almost all of us have said how easy it can happen, and that it's happened to us. What we ARE saying, is that there is a HUGE difference between a child that is by your side getting away from you, and intentionally leaving a child alone. One is an unintentional accident that can happen to anyone, the other is an irresponsible choice. There's a huge difference.

What we consider irresponsible choice might be completely acceptable in other culture. Parenting styles are different in different countries, they are not static either. What was normal even a generation ago is not acceptable today. I remember being able to run to a corner store to get fresh bread when I was 5. We were allowed freedom to play outside with other neighborhood kids. I sometimes think that our 9 year olds are allowed about the same level of freedom and responsibility as 3 year olds just a generation ago (seriously, people actually rent strollers for them).

 

[Magpie]

My parents did something similar to my younger brother when he was around the same age at our local six flags. He would always run off ahead so to teach him not to do that they ducked down an adjacent path where they could see him but he could see them. They let him panic a bit once he realized he couldn't find anyone then let him find them.

Yeah, I once saw a mum try this at the mall. The kid glanced around, shrugged and went off to play with a nearby display. The mum waited and waited, but the kid never looked for her. Eventually, she got tired of waiting, stormed up and grabbed him by the arm and hauled him out of there.

I figured he was probably just glad to be rid of her for a little while!

I never tried it with my kids. See, I figured there was no way it could turn out well for me. Either they wouldn't care I was gone, or I'd have taught them that there was a real risk I might abandon them if they piss me off (not to say that I didn't occasionally fantasize about doing that!).

There is absolutely no excuse for leaving a small child alone...period. And, I don't buy, that the child wandered off. MHO

ETA
My first thought was it was probably someone, who was visiting from another country. They aren't at home and it's not as safe in the U.S.

Many areas of the US are extremely safe. Much safer than in many other countries. We have a skewed perception of risk, thanks to the media.

Back in the 60's and 70's, mums would leave their kids in strollers parked by the door of the supermarket while they shopped. I remember entertaining myself by opening doors for shoppers, when I would have been 4 or 5. Interestingly the rates of violent crime, and crimes against children, were much higher in both those decades than they are now.

Also, are you saying that you don't think children wander off, or that you don't think this particular child wandered off? If the first, I don't think you know many children. If the second, then I agree with you. It sounds like she was told to stay with the stroller.

Nope, not over protective at all - just doing what any mother should be doing. I can't imagine any 'true' loving mother/parent letting a small child out of sight beyond your own home. I am scared just thinking about it!

Oh, goodness! Now parents who let their kids out of sight (say, on Tom Sawyer Island), aren't "true loving mother/parents"??

I wonder how many offences I've committed in my life, that'd have you yanking my "true, loving mother" designation. Fortunately, my kids seem to have turned out pretty awesome, regardless.

By four and five, they were running up and down the street with a pack of other kids, out of my sight for good portions of the day. By six, they could go to the corner and make purchases at the store. By seven, I could send them to the grocery store. By eight, they were able to order and pay - including calculating tip! - at the local diner. And by nine they could take public transit to the pool or day camp. And I'm not even the most "free range" parent on our block! We used to get a local 4 year old knocking on our window after dark, looking for our kids to come out and play (I said no, I have to draw the line somewhere).

 

[smiths02]

I am glad you helped the child. I would not purposefully leave a child alone.

However, I have to agree I am against criticizing the mom. My older DS has always been very clingy. Once we were at a museum doing a craft, I was beside him, I moved directly behind him so other children could join the table...he got done, looked left, looked right, and started WAILING. (He was 4 or 5 years old) People looked very concerned, but I was literally right behind him. He is the kind of kid that I can get to leave the toy aisle at Target by saying "I am leaving" and just walking away...he will always follow.

Then I had twins. They can be okay or they can go in opposite directions. (I laugh so I don't cry)

Like others said, maybe mom thought dad or an older child was standing with the younger one

 

[MrInfinity]

I think we all know that. But we don't know that the child the OP posted about was intentionally left alone. It's only been assumed.

Haha for once I agree with Lake.

So many assumptions about this awful parent. You all do realize this was most likely not a situation like... "here dear 3-year old, you stand here, in Disney World, while I go in this other room and wait in line for 30 min to get you a sandwich. Just stand here and I'll be back". Seriously? That's what y'all think happened?

I have to guess this is more along the lines of... parent is carefully watching her child, gets in line, looks up at the menu, looks down, sees no child, quickly looks around, goes to retrace her steps, following from where she just came... all the while, the child had just stepped 2 feet to the side to look at something.

Now the child notices the parent is gone, slinks over to the wall and cries quietly...

Really. You all think someone sticks their 3-year-old in a crowded area of a huge theme park and deliberately leaves the area. Lost child, and that's your first instinct as to the course of events leading up.

ROFL.

As to "What was this parent thinking"... OP, kudos for helping a lost child but no need to assume things about the parent. I would have just assumed the kid got lost, not that the parent ditched him. And what's with "mouthed thank you" to the CM. Was there some reason you didn't speak at normal level? Was this some sort of smirk toward the parent or attempt to make her feel worse? Weird. Nice story, strange angle.

 

[minniemous]

Well, I found it very easy to lose a child, even being attentive! Ds12 was Houdini! Of course, I have 5 to watch over, which makes it a little more difficult, but he would be there, and then not be there.

My nephew is like that, too. My mom and I took my 5 kids, and my sister's 3 kids, to the beach. They were all in the ocean, body surfing (he was 8). All went out, all went in (we counted with each wave), we kept our eyes on him, purple goggles, all went out, then one was missing. We were staring at the surf the entire time (but must have blinked).

I ran to the lifeguard, had one of my kids run to our towel. Lifeguards cleared the ocean, no kid. My dd found him sitting on our towels.

I have a couple who would never leave my side - no chance of losing them. But when you have a runner? Wanderer? Magician? It happens.

I get that. I am talking about the parents that are not attentive. It is not the situation where despite your best efforts something happens.

I see it all the time. Adults paying zero attention to their kids while they are climbing something the they are not supposed, wandering over the line when the bus is coming to pick up and strangers having to pull the child back behind the line, etc.

It is not about being perfect. It is about putting your child's safety over the needs of yourself.

I have never truly seen a parade at Disney despite having attended many because my eyes are where they should be. My comments are not leveled at attentive parents doing the very best job they can to keep a careful eye on their children it is the ones who hardly try and consider their own personal enjoyment over that of their kids. Also those who rely on others.

The example of the husband and wife who took off to eat and then asked the stranger to let the child back in the room is a perfect example of this.

 

[mshanson3121]

Haha for once I agree with Lake.

So many assumptions about this awful parent. You all do realize this was most likely not a situation like... "here dear 3-year old, you stand here, in Disney World, while I go in this other room and wait in line for 30 min to get you a sandwich. Just stand here and I'll be back". Seriously? That's what y'all think happened?

I have to guess this is more along the lines of... parent is carefully watching her child, gets in line, looks up at the menu, looks down, sees no child, quickly looks around, goes to retrace her steps, following from where she just came... all the while, the child had just stepped 2 feet to the side to look at something.

Now the child notices the parent is gone, slinks over to the wall and cries quietly...

Really. You all think someone sticks their 3-year-old in a crowded area of a huge theme park and deliberately leaves the area. Lost child, and that's your first instinct as to the course of events leading up.

ROFL.

As to "What was this parent thinking"... OP, kudos for helping a lost child but no need to assume things about the parent. I would have just assumed the kid got lost, not that the parent ditched him. And what's with "mouthed thank you" to the CM. Was there some reason you didn't speak at normal level? Was this some sort of smirk toward the parent or attempt to make her feel worse? Weird. Nice story, strange angle.

Except that the OP who was there (you/we weren't), said that the when the mother finally claimed the child, it was a good 50' from where she found the child. Nor was there any mention that the mother was upset/relieved/had been looking for the child. I'm sure that had there been, OP would have realized that this was a case of mother losing child accidentally, and wouldn't have bothered with this entire post. The mother was a quite a long ways away from the child. Nor was the child even in the store. She was outside, next to their stroller. No mention of frantic looking, which could be assumed to mean that yes, mother thought child was safe and sound by the stroller.

So yes, it is VERY plausible, that the mother left the child there while she ran into the pastry shop, thinking she was just going to be a few minutes. If you read any of the stories here, you'll realize that it happens all the time at Disney (and other places). Maybe it's due to cultural differences as some have suggested - but it happens.

 

[SeanTomorrow]

I have never truly seen a parade at Disney despite having attended many because my eyes are where they should be.

This is so sad! I truly hope you can find another way to experience Disney with your child. Really, all snark and judgement aside -- you're missing out on so much fun. Hopefully this is just a bit of hyperbole.

Watching a parade together with my daughter was one of the best experiences we've had. We were sitting on the curb together. At any moment she could have run out and been crushed by a float, kicked by a performer, or horribly injured. But instead, we we got to point out characters and experience the magic. A dancer came over and blew her a kiss. I even stepped back to snap a photo.

 

[Nata]

I have never truly seen a parade at Disney despite having attended many because my eyes are where they should be.

Seriously? It is not a sarcasm, is it? So any parent who enjoys the parade with their kids safely by their side, holding hands etc. immediately becomes an inattentive, irresponsible parent as soon as they look at a float...Really?

 

[minniemous]

Seriously? It is not a sarcasm, is it? So any parent who enjoys the parade with their kids safely by their side, holding hands etc. immediately becomes an inattentive, irresponsible parent as soon as they look at a float...Really?

What I meant by "truly"... perhaps I should have been more clear is that I have not seen every bit of the parade missing things because my attention is split for certain as well it should be. I will refrain from responding the way you have to nitpicking my comments.

I was certainly not saying if you enjoy a parade with your child you are a bad parent, that is ridiculous to say the least. I am explaining that parents make sacrifices to ensure that your child is safe and with you. I personally find that the parades get very crowded, we never get a seat so it was just an example. Nothing to jump on....but by all means if you must you must.

Again my comments are not leveled at parents who try hard to do the right thing. I think you know if you are a parent that takes proper responsibility for your children and their safety or you are not. But NO, I do not think if you enjoy the parade with your children you are a bad parent. I simply say parents need to be accountable for their children's safety and sometimes it means sacrificing a little.

 

[mindygirl5238]

Except that the OP who was there (you/we weren't), said that the when the mother finally claimed the child, it was a good 50' from where she found the child. Nor was there any mention that the mother was upset/relieved/had been looking for the child. I'm sure that had there been, OP would have realized that this was a case of mother losing child accidentally, and wouldn't have bothered with this entire post. The mother was a quite a long ways away from the child. Nor was the child even in the store. She was outside, next to their stroller. No mention of frantic looking, which could be assumed to mean that yes, mother thought child was safe and sound by the stroller.

So yes, it is VERY plausible, that the mother left the child there while she ran into the pastry shop, thinking she was just going to be a few minutes. If you read any of the stories here, you'll realize that it happens all the time at Disney (and other places). Maybe it's due to cultural differences as some have suggested - but it happens.

I have to agree. Although my kids aren't runners, so keeping an eye on them is easy, I also don't agree with jumping to conclusions about any parent or situation you may stumble across. However, by reading the OP...it's sounds fairly cut & dry to me. Further, the OP says she stood there "for a minute" (however long that might mean), then grabbed a CM, who took the girl into the other room to search for a parent in the pastry line & SURPRISE! found the mother there. If this was a panicked mother who's child had wandered from her side, don't you think she would have found her back at the stroller quietly sobbing & not the OP? Sure, I guess on some basic level you can agree with LakeTravis & say we are all assuming, but 2+2 folks. It sounds like a pretty cut & dry "wait here while I get us some food".

 

[Laketravis]

Haha for once I agree with Lake.

We need to archive this thread.

Except that the OP who was there (you/we weren't), said that the when the mother finally claimed the child, it was a good 50' from where she found the child. Nor was there any mention that the mother was upset/relieved/had been looking for the child. I'm sure that had there been, OP would have realized that this was a case of mother losing child accidentally, and wouldn't have bothered with this entire post. The mother was a quite a long ways away from the child. Nor was the child even in the store. She was outside, next to their stroller. No mention of frantic looking, which could be assumed to mean that yes, mother thought child was safe and sound by the stroller.

So yes, it is VERY plausible, that the mother left the child there while she ran into the pastry shop, thinking she was just going to be a few minutes. If you read any of the stories here, you'll realize that it happens all the time at Disney (and other places). Maybe it's due to cultural differences as some have suggested - but it happens.

All assumptions.

 

[Laketravis]

Edited for brevity:

"a small girl standing alone next to a stroller....I stood there for a minute....I then saw a CM....and I told her that this child appeared to be alone and in distress. Immediately, this wonderful CM gently took the child's hand and walked her into the area where people line up to buy the pastries, and the CM stood with her until a lady came up to claim the child."

You can assume the stroller was the child's or that she just happened to be standing next to someone else's.

You can assume that from beginning to end this took anywhere from 90 seconds to 20 minutes or more to transpire.

You can assume that the lady came up to calmly claim her child or was extremely concerned and grateful.

You can even assume that the lady was already in the pastry store when the child was taken inside.

They are all assumptions. Without them, it sounds like the little girl was unintentionally separated from her mother and the two were successfully reunited. Nothing to see here, folks, no reason to call CPS........