What to wear to funeral with military honors

[lifesavacation]

Asking the people of the dis because I want to be dressed appropriately. I am attending a funeral with military honors. I have a modest fit and flare black dress that covers my shoulders and knees. I also have a navy maxi dress that ties at the waist. Straps are ruffles about 2 inches wide so actual shoulders are uncovered. I could pair this with a paisley blue pashmina that I have if I should cover my shoulders. I'd wear nude sandals with both.

I was not appropriately dress at the last funeral I attended so that's why I'm a little hesitant. It was a Native American funeral at a cultural center. I wore the black dress that I'm considering and most at the funeral were very casually dressed and only two of us wore black.

 

[fla4fun]

Has the family mentioned anything? When my cousin‘s son died, she asked everyone to wear football jerseys, especially ones for his favorite team. When we had my parent’s funeral at the national cemetery, we asked that people wear bright colors, with no black or navy. I wore a bright turquoise shirt with tons of butterflies on it, and they were my parents. Perhaps you could contact the funeral home and ask if the family has specified anything.

If no guidance has been given, I think your black option is a good choice. I have a similar black dress for just that purpose.

 

[_19disnA]

If you are not active/retired military then I don't think there is any specific attire expected of civilians. I don't follow about how you felt 'over dressed' for that prior funeral. You wore something you thought appropriate for the occasion and the fact other's chose to dress more casually doesn't mean you were dressed incorrectly. I also don't think you can go wrong at any funeral wearing a black/navy outfit.

I agree as mentioned above, if the family wants to honor the deceased with specific types of non-traditional funeral clothing, I would expect them to let people know that ahead of time.

 

[BrianL]

People are very casual at funerals these days. If you are a civilian there will be no expectations. The last service I was at was in Hawai and on a Navy base. The Naval personnel wore dress whites, the civillian attendees wore mostly hawaiian shirts, the surfer guys (he was an avid surfer) wore beach attire - it was all considered very appropriate, but was an interesting mix for sure.

 

[mjkacmom]

People are very casual at funerals these days. If you are a civilian there will be no expectations. The last service I was at was in Hawai and on a Navy base. The Naval personnel wore dress whites, the civillian attendees wore mostly hawaiian shirts, the surfer guys (he was an avid surfer) wore beach attire - it was all considered very appropriate, but was an interesting mix for sure.

Around here wakes and funerals aren’t very casual, most men wear suits, women either dresses or nice pants, they’re more like weddings.

 

[BrianL]

Around here wakes and funerals aren’t very casual, most men wear suits, women either dresses or nice pants, they’re more like weddings.

The previous funeral I went to, I wore a suit, and I felt very overdressed as not even the family was very dressed up. Wakes are exceptionally casual. I guess it just depends.

 

[thinkerbell]

My father in law had military honors at his funeral. We all just dressed like we normally would at anyone’s funeral. Military honors is really something to watch. It is very moving.

 

[fly girl]

I would wear the black dress.

I perceive military honors at a funeral as formal and traditional. Your black dress sounds traditional. Much rather be overdressed than underdressed.

 

[DLgal]

Go with the black dress.

 

[clh2]

I watched a livestream of a funeral last week. Just about all men had dark suits/ties, and just about all the women had dark dresses on. I was somewhat surprised, but this funeral was in a nice suburb of Chicago. In my area, about an hour north of Milwaukee, we are much more casual.

 

[NannyBeBe]

There is a saying: Black and white is always right. I would wear the black dress with something white as an accent.

 

[mumto3girls]

Black dress. In my area people tend to dress up for the actual funeral service; the viewing can be more casual—you still see people dressed up but also see people who came in whatever they wore to work or to their other evening activities that day. If the family wanted people attired a certain way they would have made that clear ahead of time. My grandfather hated to see women in dark mourning clothes and asked that they wear pastel colors to his funeral. I think it was specified in his obituary (in 1978).

 

[jdb in AZ]

DH and I wore outfits similar to those we've worn to other funerals. A grandson of the dearly departed was a marine until recently, and he wore his full dress uniform -- and looked as handsome as expected.

 

[loves to dive]

Wear what you feel comfortable in.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Black dress

 

[AppleDumpling]

I would wear black or another dark color, just like any other funeral. People here get dressed up for funeral services, though often go more casual for the wake. I suppose it varies by region and culture.

My Dad was an army veteran and had military honors at his funeral, per his wishes. Two soldiers in the honor guard did the flag presentation, and my DS, who was 15 at the time (and wore a dark suit), played Taps on his trumpet. He wanted to do it for his grandfather and the soldiers would have played a recording. So emotional for me, something I’ll never forget.

 

[lifesavacation]

Update: I felt very privileged to be present for the funeral. I’ve never attended one with military honors. The last roll call hit me in the stomach. It was emotional and the military personnel did a wonderful job.

I was probably overdressed. I’m going to wear something more casual for the next service I attend.

Thanks for the feedback.

 

[JLTraveling]

I also don't think you can go wrong at any funeral wearing a black/navy outfit.

Apparently you can. My grandma was very upset with me for wearing too much black to my grandpa's funeral...she wore black herself, and could never quite explain why my black dress and coat were too much