what to do?

[mickeyluv'r]

What would you do if a friend constantly talked about her weight, and the weight of all her female friends: including babies, children, and adults?

Babies: She got baby fat but will someday lose it.
Children: She's getting a little belly. Of course I'd never say that to HER. Maybe she's just at that awkward phase and will grow out of it."
Adults: How much do you weigh?

At least once a month, if not once a week, the conversation starts with a broadcast of her weight, and a list of what she ate. I've tried politely to get her to stop, but it makes no difference.

She won't stop, apologize for mean comments. Usually she'll offer a rationalization. "Well so and so doesn't mind," and " talking about my weight helps me keep mine under control, otherwise I'm afraid Id blow up like a balloon."

Now what if instead of a friend this person was family.

Is it ever okay to say I've had enough?

 

[mommasita]

Yes, most definitely..

I would tell her that there are more important things in life, mainly HEALTH.. And that if that is her main focus, great, but that although it is important to me, it is not what I want to be my main topic of conversation.. So drop it.. Thanks.

 

[mickeyluv'r]

But what if she won't stop? I mean what if I've asked nicely for years?

She's a talker. Disagree, and you're stuck listening to an hour long rationalization, where no discussion takes place. She prattles on for an hour talking AT whoever is in earshot. Even if the entire room has heard it all before. There's simply no stopping her.

Or maybe I get a denial, because she won't say, "you're fat" to your face. Her greeting is either, "you look thin", or "you look healthy." With "healthy" being code for FAT. Denial is easy. "I never said you were fat. What are you talking about? I just said you looked healthy. You're being overly sensitive."

There's really something wrong with her, but nobody has been willing to take a stand.

It would be so much healthier if she actually said, "I'm sorry, I'll respect your feelings."

I really don't think that will ever happen.

(and thanks for posting!)

 

[danny1649]

I would say if our conversations are going to be the main topic of weight. You would rather not have a conversation about weight or dieting . You know that I have lost many friends but I look at it this way I not want to speak about or hear racist jokes or cursing in conversation. Some said we are sorry and continue to be friends. Others choose not to do it and we are no longer are friends. I'm just saying true friends will regard your requests and and others who won't are not really friends to begin with . Bottom line you may lose a view friends but you will gain many others in your life. Some once you have politely asked a topic you don't want to converse about . Just say I'm sorry i don't have time to talk about this. Then hang up if a true friend will call and apologise.Someone that doesn't will be out of your life and not a true friend. I know that sounds harsh but we all have limited days and I want to be involved with true friends.