What to do angry

[twooley2]

Well, i will admit to being very overprotective so I will chime in. It would depend on my relationship with parents. There are very FEW I would allow my dd to go with out of state. You never know how people act for an extended periods of time. My dd recently spent the night with a friend we have known for a long time. Parents are friendly, etc. She got home the next day to say that her friend's dad hollers. It was disturbing to her. Was it really a big deal? Probably not to others but we dont scream in our home. I guess the red flags I see in this has nothing to do with OP, but with the other girls family. Your dd is not allowed inside? You live across the street? They allow her to do very little? Sorry but in my field of mental health I would worry about this. I hear horrible stories every week from my employees so my mind goes places that others dont. I am not suggesting any illegal anything, just wandering why the child is not allowed to invite a friend inside? I am rambling my point is that this is not about you but about them. Would I let dd go? BIG depends on who you were to us. I would not worry any longer and would not bring it up again. The mother may not know how to say no. They may be very poor and embarrassed to let anyone in or say they cant afford to help or they may just not agree. We have an only child so there are times we ask friends to do more than other parents with more children.............they often think we are nuts but we love kids. Infertility has limited our family so we try to do parties, etc with other kids!
__________________
That is exactley how I was thinking and you took the words out of my mouth, as its just do discerning(sp) and we have a natural love for kids in general , as a matter of fact have even spoke about adopting some kids in CPS one day. We have three of our own and have plenty to spred to others, although not rich but plenty of love and such and this strikes me as unusual in the other behaviors in addition to. That is probably the real factor and I know sometimes if one person steps forward to help a child it can do a whole lot and Iguess Im babbling about helping and made the assumption of being a help to this little girl if there was any strange stuff going on. The break I was speaking of

 

[Gillian]

I would be so excited to be able to bring along my kids friends that I'd feel disappointed if the parents were hesitant. I think at first I'd be crushed. It would take me a while to get over it.

I'm glad you're able to see things from their point of view now, though.

 

[mousebymarriage]

O.K. I posted my last reply before I read the enitre thread. I would be very leary of a family that:
#1 doesn't let the child(age 12) outside to play EVER.
#2 doesn't allow any friends into their home EVER
I think that is really strange especially since they live accross the street. My DD best friend lives directly accross the street and the 2 of them along with a bunch of other girls on our block are back and forth to each other's homes constantly. We have a pool and in the summer there are usually a ton of kids and some parents in our pool every single day!
* Here's a little scary story about a house like you mentioned.
-About 5 years ago a house at the very end of our block( 2 dozen houses from ours) had a family in it that consisted of Mom, Dad , Daughter 6 , and Daughter 10. Anyway, the mom had a bit of a drinking problem and the girls were not always the cleanest but, very friendly children. The dad was a really nice guy , very friendly, involved in everything(soccer, baseball, town trips, played Santa for the town etc.) . We always felt bad for him because his wife was a drunk and a little strange. Anyway one day I am coming home and I see a bunch of police cars at their house, crime scene tape and all. My first thoght was that the mom had hurt the kids or it was a fight between the mom and dad. I stopped to ask an officer if the girls were o.k. because the youngest was in my DD 1st grade class. He said they were o.k. but then asked if my DD had ever been in the house. I told him no because noone was ever allowed in that house plus I wasn't comfortable with the mom. I found out later that the dad was arrested for meeting what he thought was a child for $ex and when they raided his house he had photo's of kiddie porn on the book case, his computer was full of kiddie porn and the house was filthy( really, really dirty). From what I understand there was also an issue of him having molested at least the older girl, I am not sure about the little one. The children were removed from the household, he is still in jail but, the girls have since been returned to their mother( she is no longer drinking I think). The fact that the girls were returned to her disturbs me because the pictures were visible and she must have known at least about the kiddie porn part but, continued to expose her girls to a man like that.
I know this is disturbing but, it happens and it could be right in your own neighborhood.

 

[twooley2]

wow I guess I should be lucky she does not go there. Could be a blessing in disguise for my DD but it makes me think often as my daughter asked me why it was she was never welcome there inside and if her friends mom does not like her. I just said it was because they have babies in their house that need to sleep.

 

[kt_mom]

I think it would just depend on who was inviting DD to go. If it was a family that we knew well and trusted then I would probably let her go. I went on a Missions trip to Mexico with a youth group when I was in sixth grade I think it was, so I was probably about 12 or 13 I guess. My parents didn't go, but there were several parents that went and my parents knew them.

I too would be disappointed if I invited someone to go and they declined, but I would have to respect their decision. In this case though, I would be concerned about the neighbors. It just sounds strange.

 

[duffy]

I think 12 is quite young to be going far away with a family I didn't know very, very well.

If one of my daughter's friends invited her to go to Disney World, I'd probably turn them down. I know the parents, but I don't know what kind of people they are, and would feel uncomfortable letting my baby go off with people who, quite honestly, are basically strangers.

Edited to add, my daughter is 12, and I have 2 other daughters aged 22 and almost 25. Yikes, I'm old!!

 

[twooley2]

yeah well if she took the time to getto know us we arent leaving until June and not kept huddled up in her house like there is something to be afraid of. Our kids go to school together and such but each has to do what they feel comfortable with I do not find it stange to invite a friend of my daughters on a trip with us when she has went other places with us and such. Although some parents would feel uncomfortable and as I said I would rather her not go if she feels uncomfortable because I would not want to be accused of something or anything wrongly from just trying to be nice. some people fear nice people because they arent used to good honest people and have lost faith that there are good people still out there

 

[twooley2]

oh and she has not said no yet. She is supposed to get back with us this weekend on their decision

 

[duffy]

I don't get it. Is she supposed to take time to get to know you, that you're "good honest people" by this weekend?

 

[twooley2]

remove

 

[twooley2]

I know we are horrible people take our kids to Disney have children the same age, husband and self were in military but hey sounds strange, must be.

 

[duffy]

I think you just need to let it go, let them make up their mind on their own time.

Are there going to be 3 in your trip? You, your husband and daughter? We were also a party of 3, and added my neice to our trip only last month.

We're staying onsite, and it was no trouble to call Disney and add her to our reservation, since the room sleeps 4. I also called Disney dining and made sure all our dinner reservations were for 4 people instead of 3. It was no trouble at all to add the fourth person at the last minute.

So, during the rest of the winter and spring, there's plenty of time for them to see what good honest people you are.

 

[twooley2]

I agree and am beating a dead horse here LOL

 

[disneyjunkie]

yeah well if she took the time to getto know us we arent leaving until June and not kept huddled up in her house like there is something to be afraid of. Our kids go to school together and such but each has to do what they feel comfortable with I do not find it stange to invite a friend of my daughters on a trip with us when she has went other places with us and such. Although some parents would feel uncomfortable and as I said I would rather her not go if she feels uncomfortable because I would not want to be accused of something or anything wrongly from just trying to be nice. some people fear nice people because they arent used to good honest people and have lost faith that there are good people still out there

It may not be a matter of getting to know you.

My son's godmother and I have been friends since we were 15 years old. (I turned 40 last Thursday). We lived around the corner from each other. We attended the same high and college. As a matter of fact, we were roommates our first two years in college. Our kids were born a year apart.

She took her daughter to WDW in 1999. I wanted to go but couldn't get the time off from work and I couldn’t afford the trip. I refused to allow my son to go with them. I trust her with my life.

However, no matter how much I love and trust her, I wasn't willing to miss out on my son's first Disney trip.

 

[Schmeck]

Wait, is this going to be an all girl trip, or is there a husband going to? Will you all be in one room? That's too off for me, I wouldn't want my daughter staying in the same bedroom with someone else's dad.

 

[_queenie_]

What was the mother's first reaction? Did she seem surprised/happy about it? I think if someone asked one of my kids to on vacation with them I would definately say thank you over and over, but I would have to pass on the offer (maybe I'd let the 17-year-old though). It is pretty far for a 12-year-old. One thing that would scare me is if they needed medical care, how would that work? If you're flying that would also create a complication with security. I'm not even letting my DD13 go on the class field trip to DC, luckily she doesn't want to go anyway.

By the way, are they close friends of yours? I would consider letting my kids go if we were family friends (we've considered asking my DS17's best friend whose parents we're close friends with to go with us in April), but not at all if we barely knew them.

Even though you live in TX, I think it would change a lot if you lived in FL.

 

[twooley2]

We have 2 rooms at pop reserved, so no not in the same room but Ive decided if she doesnt get back to us this weekend as agreed I will take my very own mother. as she will love it and due to the need to plan and to alleviate any problems. My kids would love going with their grandmother anyhow I think the girls mom may feel that she does not want anyone but her to give a trip of the magnitude and doent want to feel indebted

 

[Diamondintheruff]

You may never know why.

 

[disney_family_1247]

I'm not sure why you are angry. There is no way in the world that I would let any of my kids go on vacation with another family without me or dh being there to. Have you seen the news lately? All sorts of awful things happen, and a free trip to WDW for my kid is not justification for me to take those kinds of risks.

 

[hoosiergirl7]

I kind of had to chuckle at some of the replies that there's no way that you'd let your 12 yr old go to WDW with a friend.

The first time I ever went to WDW I was 11 and did not go with my own family. I went with my mom & dad's goddaughter age 5 at the time and her parents. My father & her father had know each other since childhood and these friends had known me since I was born.

I would allow my daughter to go if I knew the family extremely well and for a very long time. If it was just a girls only trip I might not be so strict. I started traveling on airplanes and in cars with friends without adult supervision when I was 16.

I know I grew up when there weren't so many child predators, but IMO I don't agree with being overprotective either. I think kids who are raised by overprotective parents tend to struggle as adults because they've never been taught to watch their own backs and have been so restricted.