What to do angry

[disykat]

I would never let my children go on a family vacation with another family either. A one or two day trip to the beach or camping, sure, but big vacation? No way. I would also never invite another child on our vacation.

It has nothing to do with child predators or a lack of trust. It's just a different idea of what a family vacation means. I just don't see the need for it. We enjoy our family vacations with just us and I'd assume that others would as well and couldn't get over feeling that my child would be intruding on their family time.

There's nothing wrong with saying no thank you to something that doesn't feel right to you - no matter what your reasons.

 

[twooley2]

I am there with you Hoosiergirl. This is becoming comical. I guess I should have not asked for opinions. As I am in the same boat of kids going wild as adults from being sheltered so much as kids. All in all Im actually cured of being offended and hope she says no... LOL I never realized how paranoid people can be till now I may even suggest she dont go since it seems to be such a big ordeal afterall and I would not want anything to happen and thus could not guarantee that she would not be sick or a car wreck or something of such and would not want her to blame us

 

[disneyjunkie]

I am there with you Hoosiergirl. This is becoming comical. I guess I should have not asked for opinions. As I am in the same boat of kids going wild as adults from being sheltered so much as kids. All in all Im actually cured of being offended and hope she says no... LOL I never realized how paranoid people can be till now I may even suggest she dont go since it seems to be such a big ordeal afterall and I would not want anything to happen and thus could not guarantee that she would not be sick or a car wreck or something of such and would not want her to blame us

You come across as very angry.

Not allowing your child to vacation with other families doesn’t mean you’re overprotective.

I think the girl's parents would be making a mistake by sending the child with you. Based on what you've posted here, you don't care much for or respect the child's parents. Maybe they've picked up on that. If so, then it's only natural that they wouldn't feel comfortable sending their child on vacation with you.

Just as you've seen things in the child's family that you don't like/agree with, it's possible that they have the same feelings about you.

 

[brandylouwho]

Sorry some of the responses have been so harsh twooley 2. I don' think you are crazy for asking this friend to go, but try not to take it too personally if they do ultimately say no. As you can see there are a myriad of factors that may have gone into their decision to say no. And don't let this situation and the posts from this thread stop you from inviting friends in the future. I think maybe implying that you were angry in your first post got a few people fired up. I am guessing you were caught off guard and felt hurt, bu tknow you have many othe rpoints of view on the situation. Here is mine...

I don't see anything wrong in offering to take a 12 year old to Diz with your family and when my kids are older I will likely extend such invitations to their friends. You were nice to offer, but it is their prerogative to decline & don't owe you an explanation.

That being said, I am a little overprotective myself. I hate having them ride in the car with anyone other than DH and I (kids are 4yrs & 8 mos right now). I think logically it is a little crazy, but I just worry & worry if someone else needs to help me out by taking them somewhere. DH is the total opposite and thinks I am going to become an obnoxious helicopter parent & have crazy anxiety issues (like my grandmother) so he keeps me grounded. We meet in the middle and hopefully will do a goode job parenting.

Growing up, my mom was the cool mom, the one taking us to concerts and girl scout camp and stuff like that, and sometimes my friends weren't allowed to go. As a kid I didn't understand, but I think my mom did. We made sure to not make the child feel bad and mom went out of her to include that friend in more mundane, closer to home activities so that she wasn't left out of everything. Sometimes mom even found ways to include this friend in the big trips. As girl scouts we flew to Chicago (1st flight for most of us) and this kid's mom was asked to chaparone..so she got to go too!

So go, have fun and enjoy the trip no matter who goes or doesn't go.

 

[jetprincess]

I wouldn't let my 12 year go either. Non Disney related- my sister has a DS15. DS spends the night at a friend's house regularly. My sister is friends with the parents. Come to find out the friends' parents are letting the boys drink beer during spend the nights. They have the "you can do it at home" mentality. My sister does not share this parenting style. This has casued huge problems on which I won't elaborate...

Anyways... I am NOT saying that you would give this 12 year old child alcohol!! I am just point out that parenting styles can differ hugely even if you think you know the other parent well!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

We live in TX. My DS will be 12 this month. We have been to WDW 7 times in the past 3 years so I wouldn't be missing out if he went with a friend. BUT...
There is no way I would allow him to go. And it isn't a money thing or an issue of not trusting the other family to look after him properly. It is a ME thing, because I am a very overprotective mom. I tend to think DH would agree with me.

 

[twooley2]

No I am not angry just feel as if many of you are making judgement calls based on not even knowing me. . One poster actually wrote point blank "Its just you" would that not irk you ? I think there are nicer ways to say things.anyway I think to keep things Disney friendly I will let this thread die as people love to throw judgement calls and thrive some of them

 

[bigbabyblues]

No I am not angry just feel as if many of you are making judgement calls based on not even knowing me. . One poster actually wrote point blank "Its just you" would that not irk you ? I think there are nicer ways to say things.anyway I think to keep things Disney friendly I will let this thread die as people love to throw judgement calls and thrive some of them

Well, you did title your post that you were angry, I think that's why people are saying that.

I think it was very nice of you to offer to take the girl, but it's just that; an offer. They aren't obliged to accept, and even if they say no, it's not that they are ungrateful. There is no way I'd let my kids go on vacation with another family. For a multitude of reasons, but the reason don't matter. The fact is, if they were asked, I'd thank the person and let them know we appreciate the offer, and politely decline. None of their business why, just because that's the way our family does it.

 

[disneyjunkie]

One poster actually wrote point blank "Its just you" would that not irk you ?

How can you be bothered by that?

At the end of your OP you asked, "Is it just me?" What's wrong with someone responding to a question that you put out there?

I am a little torked. Recentley about a month ago I spoke to my daughters friends mom and invited the daughter to go to Disney without the daughter knowing (a Surprise of sorts) We agreed we would get back together on it in a month or so and that she (the mom of the girl) would talk to the dad and see if it was ok with him. Today I follow up and she says she has to talk to him again because his first response was no way it is too far away for her to go. She is 12 and I know this sounds bad but why am rather stumped that they are not over flowing with gratitude and and jumping at the opportunity. Is it just me?

 

[twooley2]

You are correct and I can say using the word angry was not what I should have used and I really am not at all upset I am ok either way and when I put myself in the same shoes I would also not let my 12 or 13 year old go. Go figure. Just thought it would be fun for the girls to have a friennd along, husband and I spoke today and if the friend cant go we are changing our entire plans , been to Disney twice and they have never been on a plane and think it would be an experience to visit the carribean as their father and I have been before. Maybe Beaches or something? Anyone been?

 

[Aliceacc]

I'm a HUGE fan of Bermuda-- it's gorgeous and wonderful and I love it there!!! I've flown and cruised; a cruise might be a lot of fun if you've never done one.

 

[twooley2]

Do you know if they have any kid/ teen friendly all inclusives I hate to worry about cost during the vacation timeing as that is why we have stuck to Disney with the kids over the years with the DDP and everything is paid for ahead of time. Is the water clear there?

 

[Aliceacc]

The water is BEAUTIFUL!!! You can stand in water up to your shoulders and see your toenails!!

The last time we were there was 3 kids ago, so take it for what it's worth. But we stayed at Grotto Bay Beach, on the meal plan. We ate and ate and ate... you get the idea. The meal plan isn't cheap (as an island, they have to import all their food.) But it was delicious and plentiful.

For a change of pace, consider Club Med in Eleuthera, Bahamas. It's a family Club, with lot of activities for kids of all ages (not the swinging singles place you think of when you hear "Club Med.") If I remember from 1987, they had trapeze lessons and stuff along those lines for kids. It's all inclusive.

 

[disykat]

deleted

 

[Aliceacc]

Here's the Club Med Cariibean site: http://www.clubmed.us/cgi-bin/clubmed55/SP/multicriterionResearch.do?page=RECHERCH2&PAYS=115&LANG=US

 

[Gymbomom]

I am a little torked. Recentley about a month ago I spoke to my daughters friends mom and invited the daughter to go to Disney without the daughter knowing (a Surprise of sorts) We agreed we would get back together on it in a month or so and that she (the mom of the girl) would talk to the dad and see if it was ok with him. Today I follow up and she says she has to talk to him again because his first response was no way it is too far away for her to go. She is 12 and I know this sounds bad but why am rather stumped that they are not over flowing with gratitude and and jumping at the opportunity. Is it just me?

Haven't read all of the posts but I will say for me...I would be a nervous wreck if my child was out of state with another family at a young age like that. Also, Disney is one of those places you want to experience with your child first, if she has never been I would think they might say no just because of that.

 

[kacaju]

I would never let my children go on a family vacation with another family either. A one or two day trip to the beach or camping, sure, but big vacation? No way. I would also never invite another child on our vacation.

It has nothing to do with child predators or a lack of trust. It's just a different idea of what a family vacation means. I just don't see the need for it. We enjoy our family vacations with just us and I'd assume that others would as well and couldn't get over feeling that my child would be intruding on their family time.

There's nothing wrong with saying no thank you to something that doesn't feel right to you - no matter what your reasons.

I just had to say I agree with you disykat. I also am one that doesn't understand the *need* to take along a friend on a family vacation

 

[twooley2]

thanks Alice I will take a look at it . Ive been up to my ears in researching different places.

 

[Aliceacc]

Also, consider an idea stolen from another thread: how about a cruise to Alaska??

 

[dvcdisney]

At 12 years old, I don't think I would let my child go with another family. Even if they are great friends. To be honest, I wouldn't even send her with family. I just think it's a comfort level.

I would however, try to schedule a vacation so we can all go with the friends or family.