What is your hot topic? What really gets you going?

[Steph9072]

What gets me going is the double standard for teenaged boys vs. teenaged girls. I am currently in a battle with my 14 year old daughter, because she wants to "date". I am telling her she is too young to date, she needs to focus on her schoolwork, family and other obligations. BUT NONE of the parents of these 14 year old boys EVER tell thier kids the same thing? If more parents of boys spent more time trying to keep them focused on things other than dating maybe there wouldn't be so many teenage pregnancies in the world!!! Why do i always have to be the bad guy saying no to my daughter and teaching her right from wrong? I feel like calling some of these boys parents and telling them to tell thier son's to leave my daughter alone!!!

BTW_ I have 2 younger children- DS(3) and DD(1) and I fully intend to extend to them the same "NO DATING" rules at 14 years old.

I agree with you!
For car dates my daughter & son must be 16. This imo is not negotiable. Now I may allow for me to drive them to the movies and meet a group there prior to 16. But we will see about that one.


This is how it was for my sister and I. My Dad always said we had to old enough if the guy got out of hand to knock the crap out the him & take his keys and drive home. We also had to take pay phone $ & if we came home w/o that quarter in our pocket we were in tons of trouble.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I agree with you!
For car dates my daughter & son must be 16. This imo is not negotiable. Now I may allow for me to drive them to the movies and meet a group there prior to 16. But we will see about that one.


This is how it was for my sister and I. My Dad always said we had to old enough if the guy got out of hand to knock the crap out the him & take his keys and drive home. We also had to take pay phone $ & if we came home w/o that quarter in our pocket we were in tons of trouble.

LOL, we had to keep the quarter in our shoe.

I have to agree, though, I started dating at 14 and looking back I was definitely too young. I was taken advantage of and I don't want my kids in that situation. DH and I have agreed on 16 for our daughter AND our sons.

 

[bankgirl05]

Just curious - what age do you think it's appropriate?

30ish is good with me, no seriously, I want her to wait until she is at least 16 and has established good decision making skills and study habits so I don't have to constantly remind her of her "duties" (homework, projects, chores, etc.)

 

[enchantingodin]

30ish is good with me, no seriously, I want her to wait until she is at least 16 and has established good decision making skills and study habits so I don't have to constantly remind her of her "duties" (homework, projects, chores, etc.)

I guess my adult version of a date is a bit different than my kid version of a date was. Now that I think about it. I mean I was going with groups of friends to the mall or movies to hang out with the boys we liked at 12/13. Back then it felt like a 'date'. But in retrospect it really wasn't. It was light flirting with maybe a little hand holding. We called it "going out" even though we never really went anywhere. Just talked on the phone a lot and met up when we went somewhere with a group of people to hang out. More than anything I think it was a status thing - since most of the time they were like self made soap oprahs.

I guess what I'm saying is I see both sides here. And I feel for both of you. Being a parent isn't any easier than being a teenager was that's for sure. I wish you luck!

 

[MSB123]

I homeschool and hate it when people who know nothing about it or our family make stupid assumptions. There's a lot of them but the most common one is that homeschoolers lack socialization, which at least I know for my kids is just not true. I can barely keep track of their calendars between all the groups, classes, clubs, lessons and play dates they are involved in throughout the year.


I'm also sick of hearing about politics lately. I used to enjoy keeping up with politics, reading blogs or articles or discussing it. A lot of people seem to have gone haywire. It's become hard to have an intellectually honest conversation because so many people tend to villanize people who have a different party or POV. They can't just disagree with a political candidate or activist, they have to equate them to Hitler, Satan or a chimpanzee. It's sickening.


I hate it when people act like they have no way to control their kids. Now I have worked with a lot of kids and have 3 of my own, so I give them leeway-- even the best kid can have a bad day or forget himself occasionally. But the kids who are really out of control or won't eat right or won't stop playing video games, and the parent's attitude is, "He just won't listen to me." Not enough parents take control.

 

[jodifla]

The Martyr Moms who try to tell you the one and only way to raise a kid is there very limited helicopter way...and if you have the actual guts to disagree with any issue like breastfeeding, sleepovers, the benefits of being a WOHM, drinking juice, day care, computer time, using babysitters for date nights with your DH or keeping kids in car seats until they're 25, then you're a terrible parent who really doesn't care about your kid, so why did you have any?

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

More than anything I think it was a status thing - since most of the time they were like self made soap oprahs.

Sorry, I know you meant "opera" but I'm just picturing a minature Oprah made entirely of soap. You're not fully clean until you're Oprahfully clean.

 

[Doc CW]

Anything that jepordizes the safety of my baby sister, I am an extremely overprotective brother. One more thing, people who tell me that because I am 18 that I should not be as involved in my baby sisters life as I am and that I need my own life, Now I understand that I do in fact need my own life and go chill with my friends, but at my age most of my friends or peers are into the partying or drinking scene and that is so not me its not funny. That kind of stuff gets me mad fast and I have low patience for the people that try to tell me how to live my life

 

[DawnM]

Good for you!

Dawn

Anything that jepordizes the safety of my baby sister, I am an extremely overprotective brother. One more thing, people who tell me that because I am 18 that I should not be as involved in my baby sisters life as I am and that I need my own life, Now I understand that I do in fact need my own life and go chill with my friends, but at my age most of my friends or peers are into the partying or drinking scene and that is so not me its not funny. That kind of stuff gets me mad fast and I have low patience for the people that try to tell me how to live my life

 

[DawnM]

Wow, I like you!

Dawn

QUOTE=SereneOne;33095893]1) Divorced mothers who think they have all the rights and the father has all the responsibility, especially when the father has custody and the mother does not pay her court-ordered child support or practice visitation in an appropriate manner.

2) People who think that when it comes to being pro-life, men have no say...but yet if the woman chooses to keep the baby, he is responsible and should have thought about that before he had sex. Well you know what? It is his child too and he should have say, she should have thought about that before she had sex.

3) People who judge based on sterotypes and their own misconceptions, such as that bioparents can abuse children and people make excuses for them (esp. judges) but a loving stepparent, grandparent, uncle/aunt ect. is to be castigated and torn about at every turn for doing their best to protect the children. Want to know one of the reasons there are so many abused and neglected children? Because society says it is okay with the slaps on the wrists they give to parents that abuse.

4)The disrespect dads get in society. BOTH parents are important to a child!

5) That women and children are considered throwaways in this world...right now in Mexico there are many women being butchered and killed and it has been going on for years and no one cares. This happens all over the world, life is too precious and we have no respect for it.

6) People who think fat people do not know they are fat and that if you say abusive horrible things to them, that will motivate them to become thin. I never knew this until a few years ago I became fat and it still amazes me that people will just come up and say the nastiest things to a person and give you dirty looks while you are eating. I went from an 8/10 to an 18/20, I did not become so fat that my heart squeezed out and I ceased to have feelings. I am hard enough on myself, I don't need your abuse on top of it.

I think this will do for now.[/QUOTE]

 

[ThanksForNoticingMe]

I can't stand grouchy dads!! My family has been in the process of deciding where we will go in regard to a family vacation... to celebrate my graduation from college. Every option my mother and myself have put forward has been met with a negative attitude from my father. We finally decided that a trip to Disney World would be the easiest and most cost effective.. (which is 100% OK with me). My only request was that we stay on Disney Property....now all of a sudden he says that we are going to stay at EMBASSY SUITES!!!!! My father has hijacked my Graduation present/trip!!! Am I being ridiculous or would ya'll be upset too?

 

[enchantingodin]

Sorry, I know you meant "opera" but I'm just picturing a minature Oprah made entirely of soap. You're not fully clean until you're Oprahfully clean.

HAHAHAaaa - OPPS!

 

[kevschickee]

I can't stand grouchy dads!! My family has been in the process of deciding where we will go in regard to a family vacation... to celebrate my graduation from college. Every option my mother and myself have put forward has been met with a negative attitude from my father. We finally decided that a trip to Disney World would be the easiest and most cost effective.. (which is 100% OK with me). My only request was that we stay on Disney Property....now all of a sudden he says that we are going to stay at EMBASSY SUITES!!!!! My father has hijacked my Graduation present/trip!!! Am I being ridiculous or would ya'll be upset too?

Oh jeeze I would be upset too. I bet you could get a room at a value cheaper then The Embassy Suites

 

[SLK1]

Men with long fingernails!!!! Eeewwww...that is gross.

People who say "supposably" instead of "supposedly" (so many others I could name but that one is the first that comes to mind!).

And, to the PP who said non-breastfeeding moms are lazy and selfish...wow. I guess I'm the most selfish, lazy person on the planet! Four kids, none breastfed. And guess what - they're all smart, responsible, fun-loving kids! And, I didn't feel like a cow. EVER.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

And, I didn't feel like a cow. EVER.

I agree that that mom's comment was out of line but what exactly does this mean?

 

[SereneOne]

Wow, I like you!

Dawn

QUOTE=SereneOne;33095893]1) Divorced mothers who think they have all the rights and the father has all the responsibility, especially when the father has custody and the mother does not pay her court-ordered child support or practice visitation in an appropriate manner.

2) People who think that when it comes to being pro-life, men have no say...but yet if the woman chooses to keep the baby, he is responsible and should have thought about that before he had sex. Well you know what? It is his child too and he should have say, she should have thought about that before she had sex.

3) People who judge based on sterotypes and their own misconceptions, such as that bioparents can abuse children and people make excuses for them (esp. judges) but a loving stepparent, grandparent, uncle/aunt ect. is to be castigated and torn about at every turn for doing their best to protect the children. Want to know one of the reasons there are so many abused and neglected children? Because society says it is okay with the slaps on the wrists they give to parents that abuse.

4)The disrespect dads get in society. BOTH parents are important to a child!

5) That women and children are considered throwaways in this world...right now in Mexico there are many women being butchered and killed and it has been going on for years and no one cares. This happens all over the world, life is too precious and we have no respect for it.

6) People who think fat people do not know they are fat and that if you say abusive horrible things to them, that will motivate them to become thin. I never knew this until a few years ago I became fat and it still amazes me that people will just come up and say the nastiest things to a person and give you dirty looks while you are eating. I went from an 8/10 to an 18/20, I did not become so fat that my heart squeezed out and I ceased to have feelings. I am hard enough on myself, I don't need your abuse on top of it.

I think this will do for now.

[/QUOTE]

Thanks...a little while after i wrote it, I was thinking I was going to get a snarkfest. But seriously, after many years of volunteering in family court as a GAL, I can say that if more parents loved their children more than they hated their ex-spouses and more stepparents would treat their stepchildren how they would want their own children treated, it would solve A LOT of problems!

 

[SLK1]

I agree that that mom's comment was out of line but what exactly does this mean?

It just means that I did attempt to breastfeed the first child, and I remember my DH coming in with this screaming baby in his arms saying, "He needs to eat", and I said, in my new-mom stupor, "Figure it out. I am not a COW!!!". I didn't mean anything offensive, just reliving the humor of the moment and how we realized breastfeeding wasn't "our thing"!!!! And, my wonderful doctor said he'd rather me bond with my baby over a bottle than be uncomfortable and in pain for breastfeeding. There is a reason they make formula - so you can use it!!!

One more "pet peeve" of mine: What is with these very fit moms wearing their leotards and running clothes everywhere they go, and their young children are overweight??? Just doesn't seem right somehow...

 

[wickywinn]

1) People who don't put their kids in booster seats. Use some common sense if the seatbelt is over their face - how freaking safe can that be! I have 2 extra booster seats that I keep in my trunk for dd's friends. Sorry but if you are under 4 ft 9 inches tall you are sitting in one or you not riding in my car!

2) People that smoke with their kids in the car - really nice when the windows are all rolled up completely!

#2 especially bothers me. I have a situation right now that just has me seething. My dh picked my ds7 up from playing at his good friend's house last week and mentioned he could smell the cigarette smoke from the doorway. I don't know how I missed that but it really bothers me they smoke with children (not to mention my own) in the house. When I asked ds7 if his friend's dad smoked in the house he said, and I quote "well yeah...but so does his mom..."

Excuse me?! She's being induced NEXT WEEK with her 3rd child.

That was the last time ds7 goes over there. For one, she's putting not only her unborn child at risk but...what kind of mother does that?

 

[wickywinn]

Same here. I do stay at home with my kids during the day. Know why? I did the MATH. After buying another car (we only have one - and no public transit), paying for the extra insurance and gas, and paying for daycare we would end up 100 dollars in the NEGATIVE every month.

Even now that both of them will be in school in a few weeks. If I went full time at my current part-time job. We would only come out 75-100 bucks ahead every month. So NOT worth the added stress on my family.

Probably my #1 pet peeve, esp when it comes from close family who were all...you guessed it...stay at home moms!

Along the same lines as my fil snidely remarking, when I was expecting dd3 "haven't you two heard of birth control...haha?" To which I said, "well, is it a new invention considering YOU HAVE FIVE?!" He shut up real quick...

 

[Doc CW]

Good for you!

Dawn

Thank you. Its nice to hear that some people think that I should be able to do what I want with my life.