What is with the trend toward extravagant weddings

[stevenpensacola]

FYI: Now the Southern Baptists just have the reception somewhere besides the fellowship hall. All the dancing and drinking you could want! We have several old homes here that have opened up to be wedding/reception venues.

The good baptists go to the next county to drink...

How do you keep your baptist friend from drinking your beer while on a fishing trip? Invite another baptist...

I can't believe no one made any comments on my previous photo of this southern wedding staple from years ago. You knew it was a fancy weddin' if they provided toothpicks.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I'm OK with all weddings, as long as they don't pile up expenses on me beyond a gift. If you do a destination wedding, I may or may not be able to come.

What I think is too bad is people feeling pressured to keep up with the Joneses with shows like "Say Yes to the Dress" and "Bridezilla." It's easy to see that some brides get focused on the princess for a day aspect.

When and where I grew up, it was standard to have a church ceremony, and the reception in the church hall. It wasn't until I got to college in the '80s that I saw these elaborate sit-down affairs.

I am okay with destination weddings as long as there is no guilt trip laid on anyone who chooses not to come.

 

[punkin]

I am okay with destination weddings as long as there is no guilt trip laid on anyone who chooses not to come.

I hope my DD chooses a destination wedding. Then only the people who really want to be there will show up. (this is a long way away since she's only 17).

 

[luvsJack]

The good baptists go to the next county to drink...

How do you keep your baptist friend from drinking your beer while on a fishing trip? Invite another baptist...

I can't believe no one made any comments on my previous photo of this southern wedding staple from years ago. You knew it was a fancy weddin' if they provided toothpicks.

both the drinking and the picture. So true, so true!!


and sometimes the bride went all out and go the toothpicks with the little colored plastic stuff on one end! (many times though it was just a box of good old wooden picks sitting there by the crock pot)

 

[ead79]

I am okay with destination weddings as long as there is no guilt trip laid on anyone who chooses not to come.

I totally agree with this. As someone who had a destination wedding, I went into it knowing that some folks might not be able to make it. It's not right to get bent out of shape if people can't travel for a wedding.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I hope my DD chooses a destination wedding. Then only the people who really want to be there will show up. (this is a long way away since she's only 17).

Don't count on that! DSiL was married in Hawaii. There were about 20 or so co-workers she felt obliged to invite (based on the culture in her office) and all but 2 came (with SOs). She was stunned On the other hand, her twin brother could not get enough time off to make the trip in any sort of reasonable way (he lived in France at the time---looooong flight there) and was not there. He really cared, but just couldn't swing the time (or really the cost either).

I totally agree with this. As someone who had a destination wedding, I went into it knowing that some folks might not be able to make it. It's not right to get bent out of shape if people can't travel for a wedding.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

I totally agree with this. As someone who had a destination wedding, I went into it knowing that some folks might not be able to make it. It's not right to get bent out of shape if people can't travel for a wedding.

We had a WDW destination wedding, too. I wish *less* people came!

 

[punkin]

Don't count on that! DSiL was married in Hawaii. There were about 20 or so co-workers she felt obliged to invite (based on the culture in her office) and all but 2 came (with SOs). She was stunned On the other hand, her twin brother could not get enough time off to make the trip in any sort of reasonable way (he lived in France at the time---looooong flight there) and was not there. He really cared, but just couldn't swing the time (or really the cost either).

We had a WDW destination wedding, too. I wish *less* people came!

Well that kinda defeats the purpose of a destination wedding, doesn't it? I guess I have to consider plan B - don't invite anyone you don't want to come.

Yes, I know that is not always possible with wedding politics.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Well that kinda defeats the purpose of a destination wedding, doesn't it? I guess I have to consider plan B - don't invite anyone you don't want to come.

Yes, I know that is not always possible with wedding politics.

Oh, they just kind of assumed they were coming, and booked the trip.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Well that kinda defeats the purpose of a destination wedding, doesn't it? I guess I have to consider plan B - don't invite anyone you don't want to come.

Yes, I know that is not always possible with wedding politics.

Their purpose was to get married somewhere they loved and had spent a lot of time. Actually, they liked having the coworkers there--but had debated about inviting because they did not know what would seem more offensive: NOT inviting them, or inviting them to a destination wedding which they thought might look like a gift grab, so they went with the "have to invite" list meaning have to no matter where you are married and hoped no one would be offended--they were stunned and honored that so many people felt it was worthwhile going. They had literally twice as many people at their wedding than we did at ours in our home town (mostly because they are much more social). It was a fun time. Blew our vacation budget for the year, but fun (and we went ahead and stayed the week+ after buying four tickets to Hawaii from Michigan, luckily the school was nice about the kids missing weeks 2 and 3 of kindergarten and second grade).

 

[MrsPete]

IMO, you are making the mistake of confusing correlation with causation. I doubt very seriously that these marriages failed because of the effort/planning associated with their weddings and/or receptions.

Not what I said at all. No cause-and-effect whatsoever. I said that I've known girls who've wanted a wedding so badly, yet weren't all that fussy about the groom. It's a case of misplaced priorities. People who think this way tend to want the blow-out wedding.

But I agree - when tens of thousands of dollars have been spent, there is pressure to go through with the event.

I can see that, and it'd be even worse if you'd borrowed those tens of thousands.

But really, even the people who only spent $500 on their wedding could be said to be wasteful. After all, technically all you need to do to get married is walk into a court house and sign a piece of paper and swear a short oath. There really is no practical reason to spent anything on a wedding (other than the license fee), if it's only the marriage that's important and not the pomp and ceremony of a wedding. So after the license, it's really only a matter of degree and personal preference as to what is wasteful.

Matter of degree . . . that's true, but somewhere you reach a point of diminishing returns. At some point it becomes more just for the sake of more.

My apologies to MrsPete. I'm sorry, I thought she was directing her comment at me.

I have no idea. My comments are almost never directed to individuals; rather, they're responses to ideas and things that've been said. I could tell you what's been said, but I could not tell you who said it.

 

[Disney Darling]

It seems in the last 5 years or so weddings have turned into events with expensive engraved invites for everything from the bachlorette party to the engagement party to the rehearsal supper, over the top decorations for the church and reception hall, gifts for everyone. I just don't understand it. Went to one last year for a co worker. I also work with her mother. They spent a fortune that they did not have to put on this show. It was beautiful and the food was great but come on, so many favors and treats at the reception, ranglers for the 20 or children that participated in the wedding, etc. We are going to another later this summer where they are spending about $150 a head for the reception. These are from very modest income parents. It seems a wedding has turned into a one upsman kind of thing. Sort of a keeping up with the Joneses but before you even buy the house. If Julie has a $300 rose covered cross then Becky has to have 4 of them. What are people thinking?

I didn't read this whole thread but I've also pondered these very things. I don't know if anyone has mentioned it but it seems like this trend really exploded with the shows "Whose Wedding Is it Anyway", "Bridezillas", that show on TLC (can't think of it right now). . . all those shows that focus on weddings is when I really saw the explosion.