What is the thought process here?

[mjkacmom]

Funny you should mention that. I'm making out this week's grocery list and am surfing the digital weekly flier while I'm DIS-ing. This week, the smart shopper who has $12.00 can get:

A gallon of milk: $1.79
10 pound bag of potatoes: $1.99
2# boneless center cut pork loin chops @ $2.99 a pound: $5.98
Loaf of generic bread: .78 cents
2 cans of corn or beans (not on sale) @ .75 ea: $1.50

That equals $12.04.

So the choice is one person buys your old clothes at $12.00 - assuming they'd fit that person - wear them once, and the rest of the family goes hungry for one night

or

Feed your family of four for one night (+ leftovers) for the exact same amount of money and go to the wedding in jeans and tennis shoes.

I really have no use for snobs who think it's oh-so-easy and like to dump on other people. Obviously you've had no first-hand experience with the 'lower lifes' who've had to decide between clothes, medication, heat or food.

Here's a hint although I doubt you'll get it (people like you never do): proper attire in order to impress those who think they're all that and a bag of chips is typically at the bottom of the list of priorities for others with more important things on their minds.

Actually, that would definitely feed a family for more than one night! Plus, they're getting fed at the wedding, right? Seriously, even if you have to borrow clothes for a wedding (which I've done many times myself), you are dressing nice not to impress, but to show respect. If you are unemployed, and don't own any respectable clothing, how are you going to go on a job interview?

 

[wdwfan16]

You receive an invitation to a wedding being held at a country club. Your choice of attire is faded blue jeans, and untucked shirt, and tennis shoes. Is this considered appropriate for this occasion?

Did the CC have a dress code? I would suggest borrowing some clothes.

Probably not appropriate for a country club wedding, of course, I have family who don't own anything other than jeans....which is why I had my reception in a fire hall. My friends and husband's family were quite appalled, but I'd rather have my relatives (who couldn't afford to go out and buy clothes just for my wedding) come than be uncomfortable with a dress code. So to whoever said jeans are never appropriate for a wedding, I respectfully disagree. Weddings are about the celebration of a sacrament with friends and family, not a fashion show or society outing in my mind.

ITA

I get what your saying but if they loved me like I loved them wouldn't they respect me enough to dress appropriately for this very important occasion in my life?

Seriously, a pair of khaki pants at Wal-mart is $10 and I sure there is more than one occasion in their life where khaki pants are warranted.

If the only change this person had made were to wear khaki pants, tuck in the same shirt he was already wearing and was still even wearing the tennis shoes, he would have looked at least twice as nice as he did.

But what if they did not have $10? If I invited someone to a wedding that I knew only owned jeans I would have done what Lara did or I would have found a way for them to get the clothes they needed for the wedding.

I am a MAJOR jean wearing person.
However, i DO own nice slacks and dressy pant suits to wear to weddings and funerals and other dressier occasions.

there is NO excuse why your relatives dont do likewise.

The excuse could be NO $$$$.

 

[Pakey]

The country club we belong to has a strict dress code that does not allow denim. It's the host's responsibility to make sure guests are aware of this. While I would not wear jeans to a wedding, I don't think I'd be bothered if someone else did (as long as they were not specifically told a dress code).

 

[luvsJack]

Wow. I hope no one some of you love is ever down on their luck. You do realize that dress clothes are waaaaayyyy down on the list of necessities for someone who has a very low income.

Putting a child in the wedding in some capacity so that you can purchase their clothing is a wonderful, loving thing to do; but there are not many grown men that would allow you to buy them clothes for your wedding. If I handed Uncle Bob a nice suit to wear to my wedding, he would consider that awfully judgmental on my part. I mean, how dare I judge what he has or doesn't have. Sorry, but in my book his pride is worth 100 times more than having someone there in jeans.

I just can't believe that there are those of you that think not having someone sitting with other guests with jeans on is more important than the feelings of someone you thought enough of to invite in the first place.

Another point, if my friend or relative is without work or having a really rough time and cannot afford to purchase clothing to wear; if I want to purchase something for them or help them in some way, it sure as heck is not going to be something for them to wear for a one day event!! Many more important things than that.

 

[MinnieMe87]

You really have no concept of true poverty do you. How nice to live in your ivory tower and judge others. Unfortunately (for you) Karma usually does bad things to people who feel it is there place to live so high and mighty above us mere mortals.

Good luck with that. I'll keep on loving my family, no matter what they wear.

Around here, we don't have fancy weddings. Sure, there are a fair share of people who dress to the nines who attend the weddings, but there are a fair share who don't also. I'd much rather have my relatives come in what they have and support me, then stay home because they can't afford to get a fancy outfit. The support and respect is not in the outfit, it's in the hearts of those who attend!

 

[wdwfan16]

Wow. I hope no one some of you love is ever down on their luck. You do realize that dress clothes are waaaaayyyy down on the list of necessities for someone who has a very low income.

Putting a child in the wedding in some capacity so that you can purchase their clothing is a wonderful, loving thing to do; but there are not many grown men that would allow you to buy them clothes for your wedding. If I handed Uncle Bob a nice suit to wear to my wedding, he would consider that awfully judgmental on my part. I mean, how dare I judge what he has or doesn't have. Sorry, but in my book his pride is worth 100 times more than having someone there in jeans.

I just can't believe that there are those of you that think not having someone sitting with other guests with jeans on is more important than the feelings of someone you thought enough of to invite in the first place.

Another point, if my friend or relative is without work or having a really rough time and cannot afford to purchase clothing to wear; if I want to purchase something for them or help them in some way, it sure as heck is not going to be something for them to wear for a one day event!! Many more important things than that.

If you had a great relationship with Uncle Bob you would know how to do this without putting him down. I would not buy a suit but nice dress pants and dress shirt that he could use for many other events.

I gave my Uncle a our old fridge, when we moved and did not need it. He put it in his basement where the one he had down there broke. He loved it and did not tell us we insulted him. We also gave him a car when we got a new one. His car was on its last leg. He thanked us every time we saw him. He drove it around town for a few years and then replaced it when he had the money. The only way others knew we did this was when HE told them. He was so proud that his niece and her DH would be so kind to him. He was a great uncle to me when I was growing up. Maybe your relationship was not like ours and that is why your uncle would take it as an insult.

 

[okeydokey]

I didn't realize that the person who wore jeans to this particular country club wedding was jobless and destitute and starving and knew absolutely nobody he could borrow a pair of pants from. If that's the case, then I'll cut his some slack. If he had more appropriate clothing and just felt like wearing what he wanted with no regard to the occasion then I still think he was in the wrong. It's funny that no matter what kind of conversation we are having here, everyone will twist it into the most extreme worst case scenario possible.

 

[Tink_Or_Belle]

isn't that an old country song Garth Brooks Maybe.... blame it all on my roots I showed up in boots and ruined your black tie affair?

 

[BelleWDW]

I didn't realize that the person who wore jeans to this particular country club wedding was jobless and destitute and starving and knew absolutely nobody he could borrow a pair of pants from. If that's the case, then I'll cut his some slack. If he had more appropriate clothing and just felt like wearing what he wanted with no regard to the occasion then I still think he was in the wrong. It's funny that no matter what kind of conversation we are having here, everyone will twist it into the most extreme worst case scenario possible.

Typical Disboards!

 

[BelleWDW]

Around here, we don't have fancy weddings. Sure, there are a fair share of people who dress to the nines who attend the weddings, but there are a fair share who don't also. I'd much rather have my relatives come in what they have and support me, then stay home because they can't afford to get a fancy outfit. The support and respect is not in the outfit, it's in the hearts of those who attend!

Have I fallen in some sort of alternative universe-full of t-shirts,jean and boot wearing hobos who dont own any "good clothes " and all the weddings are "ho-downs"??????

Where the heck do all you folks live?? Appalachia???

 

[luvmy3]

Typical Disboards!

Actually it was because of your comment that this whole worst case scenerio started. Nobody here ever said that this man was destitute, but rather we are just telling the higher than thou's typically found on the DIS that sometimes there are excuses as to why someone doesn't own the proper attire for formal occasions.

 

[okeydokey]

Actually it was because of your comment that this whole worst case scenerio started. Nobody here ever said that this man was destitute, but rather we are just telling the higher than thou's typically found on the DIS that sometimes there are excuses as to why someone doesn't own the proper attire for formal occasions.

The worst case scenario rarely exists. If invited to a country club wedding, if you can' t be bothered to put on the decent clothes that you probably happen to actually own or could get, then you should stay home. Showing up in jeans and untucked shirt and sneakers shows disdain and disrespect on the occasion and the couple. If you are destitute and have a valid excuse, then fine.

 

[merryweather20]

I had a relative that got married a couple of years ago. The bride desperately wanted her best friend to attend, but she was going through some tough times, and couldn't afford a gift, the ferry and didn't have dress clothes. The bride told her her Dad was buying her fare as a wedding present, no gift and wear what you have.

If she couldn't have afforded $4 for the ferry, I can see how $4 for slacks was also not feasible. The bride was delighted to have her friend there, and would have freely told anyone who thought otherwise to leave.

When my best friend got married I went to the top of the stairs to meet her for the entrance. I thought the upstairs bride had come down to wish the other wedding party good-luck. I was wrong it was the soon-to-be-MIL from the states that I had not met. I would much rather a guest came in jeans than a poofy pale light blue wedding gown/ball gown.

 

[MinnieMe87]

isn't that an old country song Garth Brooks Maybe.... blame it all on my roots I showed up in boots and ruined your black tie affair?

Yep! Friends in Low Places!

Have I fallen in some sort of alternative universe-full of t-shirts,jean and boot wearing hobos who dont own any "good clothes " and all the weddings are "ho-downs"??????

Where the heck do all you folks live?? Appalachia???

Nope, Illinois!!!

 

[luvmy3]

The worst case scenario rarely exists. If invited to a country club wedding, if you can' t be bothered to put on the decent clothes that you probably happen to actually own or could get, then you should stay home. Showing up in jeans and untucked shirt and sneakers shows disdain and disrespect on the occasion and the couple. If you are destitute and have a valid excuse, then fine.

You don't know this person, or the bride and groom any more than any of us do. Your alleged scenerio is no different than any other. For all we know this person was destiutute, or lazy, or he spoke to the bride and groom and asked if it was okay, maybe his luggage was stolen out of his hotel room while he was in the shower, maybe he was a wedding crasher, maybe his dog ate his tux. I could go on and on but I have no idea what the situation was, and neither do you

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Well I've seen worse.. One that comes to mind is a wake - where the sister of the deceased arrived wearing cut-off jeans short-shorts, flip-flops, and a bright red tee shirt that read: "I Love Bingo"..

I mean no disrespect, but this just tickled me to no end..

 

[LaraK]

I didn't realize that the person who wore jeans to this particular country club wedding was jobless and destitute and starving and knew absolutely nobody he could borrow a pair of pants from. If that's the case, then I'll cut his some slack. If he had more appropriate clothing and just felt like wearing what he wanted with no regard to the occasion then I still think he was in the wrong. It's funny that no matter what kind of conversation we are having here, everyone will twist it into the most extreme worst case scenario possible.

Actually I think that the "worst case" conversations came from some people saying that "no one" should "EVER" show up to a wedding in jeans. Having had someone in jeans at my wedding (and no one offended by the fact), I offered another opinion. At that point, I believe that my family was called low-class. I responded that I thought that was a rather snobbish view of life....and the Dis goes on.

 

[wdwfan16]

Have I fallen in some sort of alternative universe-full of t-shirts,jean and boot wearing hobos who dont own any "good clothes " and all the weddings are "ho-downs"??????

Where the heck do all you folks live?? Appalachia???

They can be some of the best receptions!!!!

 

[Tink_Or_Belle]

that Bingo shirt just reminded me when I was in High School my grandmas neighbor died he had been sick a long time and his wife had taken care of him the wife wore a T shirt to visitation that said my next Husband will be normal ??? she was really old and a little odd but I remember being totally shocked when I saw her then someone said her husband had bought it for her to wear to the funeral and she wouldn't do it so she did the visitation instead

 

[luvsJack]

If you had a great relationship with Uncle Bob you would know how to do this without putting him down. I would not buy a suit but nice dress pants and dress shirt that he could use for many other events.

I gave my Uncle a our old fridge, when we moved and did not need it. He put it in his basement where the one he had down there broke. He loved it and did not tell us we insulted him. We also gave him a car when we got a new one. His car was on its last leg. He thanked us every time we saw him. He drove it around town for a few years and then replaced it when he had the money. The only way others knew we did this was when HE told them. He was so proud that his niece and her DH would be so kind to him. He was a great uncle to me when I was growing up. Maybe your relationship was not like ours and that is why your uncle would take it as an insult.

Ok, first off I don't have an Uncle Bob; I wasn't referring to a real person. I was saying that I would never offend someone by insinuating that the clothing they own is not good enough for my wedding.

I have quite a few relatives that I am very close to and when it comes to something in my life, like a wedding, I would only want the person there for me--regardless of what she or he wore.

My niece did this for her wedding. No matter how formal, she was more concerned with her loved ones being there for her day than she was about their clothing. She, in true loving niece and good hostess fashion, put her potential guests completely at ease and insisted that she only wanted them there because she loved them not for what they may or may not wear.

Giving your uncle a car or a fridge is not insinuating that what he has is not good enough. Any time any of us around here get new furniture or appliances we ask the rest of the family if they want the old--not saying they need it, just asking if someone could use it.