What is the appeal of "that woman"?

[lucyanna girl]

You know, the one who isn't especially pretty or super smart or even very nice but she seems to be able to have almost any man she wants? The one who breaks up relationships and wreaks homes?

You see them every once in a while. A woman who just attracts men. I guess it's just sex appeal magnified?

No, thank goodness, I'm not having marriage problems. My first marriage, many, many years ago did end because my first husband had an affair with one of those women. We divorced, they married and then divorced because they couldn't trust each other.

I saw a woman at the ball park the other night who made me think of her and it made me wonder again, what is the "something" that some women seem to have?

Penny

 

[paintnolish]

I think it is how she makes a man feel- flattered, sexy, important.

 

[Handbag Lady]

They have loose morals and that also attracts SOME men. They may be riskier sexually because of this, and that sometimes makes men's heads turn.

Then, the men then think they can come in and rescue her from herself.

Plus, they tend to simply be more fun than the wife, since they don't have to do the dishes, clean up after the kids, drive the carpool, etc. They can just concentrate on the man.

 

[johnsontrio]

.....they aren't married to her.....

 

[dislaney]

I think it is how she makes a man feel- flattered, sexy, important.

I agree with this 100%. I have seen so many women who aren't physically attractive, but who have such a way with men and I really think it is more about how they make a man feel.

 

[VillageMama]

Maybe it's the type of "job" she provides... if you know what I mean.

 

[LuvOrlando]

It isn't about the other woman, it's about the guy.

Men don't run around for one of two reasons. Either they don't run around because they don't want to, or they don't run around because they can't (aka haven't had the opportunity/invitation). It is extremely important that a woman know which sort she has because one will stay faithful forever and the other will stay faithful until an opportunity pops up.

The reason why you can't see anything special in the woman is because there wasn't anything special about her other than the fact she was willing to go along with it. Getting cheated on is a huge blow to self esteem because it brings along as sorts of feelings about being inferior. Look at Tiger Woods' beautiful wife and the woman he cheated with, none can so much as hold a candle to her yet off he went. It obviously had nothing to do with her, it was all him but I'm sure she's crying her eyes out over why she couldn't have been enough just lke every other woman who has had it happen to them.

I think Mom's would do the world a huge favor by teaching our girls a few things about men before the guys get a chance to fill our heads with nonsense about how they cheat because we don't _______fill in the blank with whatever nonsense they come up with_________. I absolutely love men, most men, my DH and son included and a very large number of wonderful decent men I've been friends with through the years. But there are sorts I do not love & do not like (my own father, brother and misc others) and I make sure to warn my DD about those sorts before I end up with one as a son-in-law.... or ex-son-in-law I suppose.

 

[Acklander]

I had a friend like that once. She was nothing special at first glance. Almost plain, but all the guys adored her - old men, young men, married men - they were drawn to her like flies to honey. I'm not sure what it was, but she had an easy going, friendly, laid back manner that made guys feel comfortable I guess.

 

[MushyMushy]

I think it is how she makes a man feel- flattered, sexy, important.

That.

I have a friend like this and I could write a book on how her behavior changes from man to man, and how she gets them eating out of her hand. She makes him feel like the most important person in the universe.

 

[turkeymama]

I think it is all of these things that everyone has mentioned. We were just discussing this in my Psychology of Adjustment class. Apparently, physical attractiveness is less important than we think. One other thing that "those women" have is confidence in themselves, enough that it really shows. In general, most people find that attractive enough to overlook other imperfections.

 

[Robinrs]

I think it is how she makes a man feel- flattered, sexy, important.

Confidence and adoration... pure aphrodisiacs!

Insecurity and wondering what SHE has... as attractive as funk.

 

[suejai]

Wait a second while I get my flame suit on

Ok.

Isn't marriage a two way street? Do women honestly believe that they have played no part in the break up of their marriages? And why shouldn't a husband feel flattered, sexy and important - his wife should make him feel that way. Just the same as a husband should make his wife feel that way. If a wife views her husband as just a paycheck and someone to watch the kids while they go shopping, or whatever, or even that their attention is focused so much on the day to day stuff, that they never stop long enough to make him know that he means the world to them - yeah he may start following "that woman" around. The same way that if the husband just views the wife as a housekeeper with benefits, etc she might start following "that guy" around.

Having said this, there are exceptions to every rule and there are scumbags of both genders out there. But I wonder how many of these break ups started out as one spouse or the other feeling unappreciated, and the partner just didn't hear or acknowledge the complaints or attempts to address the problem.

I don't think there are any easy answers to the original question, every case is different.

 

[Cornhusk]

She puts out.

 

[RitaZ.]

She puts out.

 

[Acklander]

She puts out.

I don't think this is it. there are plenty of women who put out that don't have the same draw as THAT woman; and I give men more credit than to just be drawn to easy sex. I think it's more that that - much more than that.

 

[punkin]

Men and women find different things attractive. She may not be "that pretty" to you, but boy do men find her attractive. I know a couple of women like this and, no, they are not easy or even interested in your husband. There is just a sexual allure about them that men can sense.

 

[Mermaid02]

It's just something strange.......

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Glad to know that women are as lost when it comes to what attracts men as vice versa...

 

[John VN]

As far as the appeal of that woman with an unattached male, might be as simple as the part of his anatomy doing the thinking.

As far as the appeal of that woman with a married or totally committed man, I feel it is his lack of moral compass directing him in the wrong direction should a fork in the road appear before him.

 

[FireDancer]

The same can be said for how some very unattractive men manage to bag 10's.