What is a Date?

[disneychrista]

I was talking to a few friends about what constitutes a "date." One friend defines a date as making plans to do a specific thing and then doing said thing. I said the guy I have been seeing for 7 months and I have only gone on one date because he has only picked me up & dropped me off once - hence a date in my mind. We have meet for drinks & even dinner many times over these 7 months. Another friends said meeting for drinks was a date in her mind.

So how do you describe a date?

 

[low-key]

I think it could be anything, but a key is both party's must be physically attracted to each other (or in my case, I just hpe there not totally repulsed by me )

 

[Disneylover99]

To me, dates could be anything you plan to do together before you're in a committed relationship.
Once you're in a committed relationship, you're a couple, and no longer dating.

 

[disneychrista]

To me, dates could be anything you plan to do together before you're in a committed relationship.
Once you're in a committed relationship, you're a couple, and no longer dating.

What if you are only seeing/dating each other but have not defined it. Is that still "dating?" or is that a relationship?

 

[Disneylover99]

What if you are only seeing/dating each other but have not defined it. Is that still "dating?" or is that a relationship?

I think you're dating until you take the next step and establish yourself as boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

What if you are only seeing/dating each other but have not defined it. Is that still "dating?" or is that a relationship?

Dating would mean that two people (who live at different addresses) get together and do something. Whether one picks up/drops off the other, or they just meet up at a set place for a period of time, it doesn't matter.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Imho, *************... if ur grabbing a bite, or a drink. Kind of off the cuff, even with a specific time.

Versus a relationship ... a couple: in which youre Out for a specific reason ( dinner or a movie perhaps) and your picked up, dropped off, etc.
mutually exclusive ( invested in each other) and most importantly...already in sync for the next
Opportunity to move forward.

 

[Squirlz]

Simple. When two people go do something together and at least one of them hopes it ends with a little something.

 

[BrinkofSunshine]

I've never heard of only counting a date if someone picks someone up and drops someone off... that would mean a whole lot of people who only use public transportation haven't been going on very many dates!

I view it as planned time spent together between two people hoping to form a romantic and/or physical relationship.

 

[disneychrista]

I've never heard of only counting a date if someone picks someone up and drops someone off...

That is kinda why I am asking what others feel. I think my sticking point is that this guy & I were friends before it became "more" and since we are doing the same things when we were friends, it doesn't "feel" any different. Of course good night kisses were never part of our hanging out before.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Meeting somebody, at a specific time and place, for any event or just drinks, is a 'date'.
I would not ever want to admit that I had been 'dating' somebody for any length of time if that was the extent of it.
No way.
There is a big difference in a 'date' and a relationship.
IMHO, any guy that I would want a real relationship with would make more effort than that to spend time with me.

 

[Imzadi]

and since we are doing the same things when we were friends, it doesn't "feel" any different.

One doesn't "date" their platonic friends.

I think this person said it well:

I view it as planned time spent together between two people hoping to form a romantic and/or physical relationship.

Even some married couples still plan dates together to keep the romantic spark alive.

 

[disneychrista]

One doesn't "date" their platonic friends.

True. But friends can become more if the interest is there. Which he had from the start and I developed along the way.

 

[BrinkofSunshine]

That is kinda why I am asking what others feel. I think my sticking point is that this guy & I were friends before it became "more" and since we are doing the same things when we were friends, it doesn't "feel" any different. Of course good night kisses were never part of our hanging out before.

It may not feel different, but those hang outs definitely changed into dates. I do a lot of date-like things with my friends- go to restaurants, grab drinks, etc., but if something shifted and there was a romantic component I'd start considering those dates.

 

[Imzadi]

True. But friends can become more if the interest is there. Which he had from the start and I developed along the way.

Yes, but your question is, "What constitutes a "date?" Not what's the backstory. When you weren't feeling romantic or wanting to be more than friends, you weren't dating - no matter what he wanted and what you did together. Again, in my opinion, as BrinkofSunshine said, "Two people hoping to form a romantic and/or physical relationship." And as Disneylover99 said, you haven't verbally established with each other that you are boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

[disneychrista]

if something shifted and there was a romantic component I'd start considering those dates.

I can see that. I honestly, don't have a lot of "dating" experience. So I guess in my mind I'm still holding on to the old fashioned guy asks girl out, guy picks girl up, etc of what a date is. It doesn't change the relationship that is forming between him & I. I just haven't seen them as dates.

Yes, but your question is, "What constitutes a "date?".

Sorry I guess I misunderstood your comment to mean that because he and I were friends first we couldn't be dating now.

 

[Imzadi]

Sorry I guess I misunderstood your comment to mean that because he and I were friends first we couldn't be dating now.

Oh no. I do think you are dating now. I'm happy for you. You guys sound very compatible together, having had things in common & growing into it.

 

[rigs32]

Many woman don’t want to depend on their date for transportation for safety reasons. That’s doesn’t mean it’s not a date.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

To me, dates could be anything you plan to do together before you're in a committed relationship.

I don’t agree. I’m married and we go on dates.

 

[Disneylover99]

I don’t agree. I’m married and we go on dates.

Well sure. I was stating what I think a date is before marriage. That seems to be what the OP is talking about. I do think going on dates with your husband/wife are quite different then meeting someone and deciding to date them though.

Dating when you first meet someone is because you enjoy each other's company and/or you're trying to get to know one another to see if you want to take your relationship to a deeper level. That could include getting together with friends or family.

Dating in marriage is when you're making an effort to keep the spark alive or your trying to reconnect with your partner without the distraction of your kids or other people.

Just my opinion.