What happens when you dad starts dating?

[zumbergc]

Ok, my mom passed a few years ago. Dad is starting to date.
so, this person has 3 kids, and 3 grand kids.

Since xmas is approaching. do you buy these people who i've never met presents?

I've only met the lady herself once. Not sure if she will be present on thanksgiving or xmas yet.

I'm in my mid 30's, last thing i ever thought in life would be a possible step sibling etc...

 

[kwelch10377]

Are you going to be in a situation where you will be interacting with them during the holiday's?

If so I would maybe a cookie platter, food type gift basket or a bottle of wine. You could also maybe offer an invitation to dinner at your house as a way to get to know them all.

ETA, sorry just saw that you wrote you weren't sure if you would see them.

 

[krcit]

If you aren't going to see them then I wouldn't do gifts, in fact i think even if you were going to see them, I would get just a small token for your dad's girlfriend and the grandkids.

 

[pixie dust 112]

I wouldn't buy gists for them at this stage. I think they might feel awkward if they don't have anything for you. That being said, I always keep a few bottles of wine and candles around and wrapped at Christmas. just in case I get an unexpected gift.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I'd ask your dad.

 

[marcyinPA]

My FIL is remarried (my MIL passed away almost 16 years ago). We LOVE his wife (they've been married for 10 years), but oddly enough, we NEVER get together with her family. We met them at the wedding but have never seen them since.

Since this is a new relationship for your dad, I would probably not buy any specific gifts for his friend or her family, but I would keep a couple of generic things on hand (a gift basket or a box of candy, bottle of wine, etc.) just in case.

My own Dad has been married four times...I've had step siblings from two of the marriages. We had never exchanged gifts until we got to know each other well.

 

[Missy1961]

My dad's been a widower for almost 10 yrs. He dated a lovely woman who had kids & grandkids. (she passed away this past June). I never gave her a gift, but then she never gave me one either. I would send her a Christmas card & she would send one to me. That was it.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You don't know these people so I think buying them gifts is a little premature. Now if they become engaged to be married, then that is something different.

Anyway, that is how I view it. I should say I hate shopping and the whole gift giving holiday thing.

 

[golfgal]

Unless she is spending the holiday with you I don't see that you need to buy any of them a gift. Did your parents buy all of your boyfriends Christmas gifts when you were growing up?

 

[NHdisneylover]

It has never occurred to me to buy a gift for any of my dad's girlfriends (or mom's boyfriend). Even the ones i have met once--nor for their kids (and my dad dates girls who are waay to young for him and they have little kids).

 

[java]

No.
She is just a date right now.

When my parents started dating they were just that to me- dates. After my Dad got married still wasn't thrilled with her but bought her and her son gifts for holidays(her son was only 7 at the time) They have since divorced as well.

My mom is married- I buy her husband gifts- his kids? not at all. We were all adults when they got together- honestly I don't think I would recognize them if I saw them on the street.

 

[C.Ann]

It's a little too soon right now to know the right thing to do.. At this point you don't even know if you'll be seeing any of them over the holidays.. You might want to ask your dad about that and see what his plans are..

 

[Bethenny]

You're getting way ahead of yourself here. When the time comes, it may be nice to get the girlfriend a gift, if they are pretty serious and you will see her for the holiday. I wouldn't give anything to the family though.

I've never even met my husband's step-dad's family. My husband has met them, but hasn't seen them in at least 14 years (since I've known him) and I doubt they would even recognize each other walking down the street.

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

I would probably buy a token gift for any who I would be seeing during the holidays. Extended family issues are so hard - I never know whether or not to shop for my brother's ex-wife and ex-step kids. I didn't expect to see them last year, and then they all showed up.

 

[RitaE]

I think you must be a seriously nice woman to even consider buying the Grandchildren of a woman you've never even met presents.

But no. I think that family would be likely to get your presents and ask:

Who in the heck is ______?

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

If the grand kids are going to be around during the holidays I would probably get something small for each of them but the adults would just get a "Merry Christmas."

 

[GeorgeG]

Start with baby steps, a little at a time, and see where things lead.

 

[Hillbeans]

Start with baby steps, a little at a time, and see where things lead.

This, I agree. My dad started dating very soon after my mom died, and it was pretty horrifying. He didn't end up getting serious about someone for about a year, and they ended up dating for 3 years before getting married last year. Her DIL is a bit off, so we never ever see them - maybe 3 times in the years they've known each other. I would hold off on the gifts for now, see what happens and if you're even going to see them around the holidays.

 

[Pumpkingirl7]

I am dealing with my father dating. My mother died June 2009. I'm pretty upset about the whole thing in general...anyone else feel the same?