What does RSVP mean to you?

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

You are supposed to respond either way to an RSVP. That doesn't mean people do it though. I'm starting to think there are a lot of people out there who think everyone else is a mind reader.

I'm part of the tough luck crowd. If I send out an invite and I don't hear back from you, then I'm going to assume you aren't attending. If you show up anyway, you are welcome to buy your own food/goodies/activity and join in. If you don't like that, then sorry Charlie, better luck next time.

 

[Muhlenberg]

Like everyone else said...you have to call the parents.

People even do this for WEDDINGS! RSVP means respond either way...yes or no.

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

Keep in mind if you send them through school we may not get them in a timely fashion. I can not tell you the places I've found invitations. I also get so busy sometimes that I just plain forget until the last day to RSVP(but as long as I've recieved the invite I respond). I do try to tell the parent when I see them around town though.

 

[Stitchfans]

Yes, people are so rude when it comes to that I end up calling many of them every time. I even have/had the same problem for oldest DDs upcomeing wedding. It is the 29th of this month and we still haven't heard back from some people.

 

[mmcguire]

To me RSVP means REPLY regardless of whether you can attend as a courtesy to the host/hostess.

I too am amazed at how many people don't know (or don't care) what it means. I've even started writing "Please let us know by [date] if you will be joining us" on invitations so people will let us know ahead of time so we can be prepared. Nothing drives me crazier than cooking/shopping for a party, then having 10 more people unexpectedly call the night before to say they are coming.

 

[Crankyshank]

Unless it says "RSVP regrets only please", I always take it to mean answer Yes or No within several days of the party (usually a week).

 

[storzo]

I respond with a yes or a no.

For my DS's parties, if I don't get a response I don't prepare for that child. Of course, there is always extra food or cake to go around, but any extras like a goodie bag I just say sorry didn't know you were coming.

 

[Crankyshank]

I have RSVP'd maybe before. This time of year, we get so many invites for BBQ and showers - often on the same day. I will respond maybe if I am going to try my best to come, but might get stuck elsewhere. This is for more casual type get togethers and I do call to let the host know.

 

[JPN4265]

I would call all the parents to find out if they're coming. You just can not rely on people to respond anymore. It's a pain, I know. I had to call 9 people two years ago--and most were coming. This year, I only had to call one--I was shocked!

I agree. It's amazing that people today won't respond to much of anything. You can't even get a thank you card when you send a gift. Please and thank you are a thing of the past. And forget about yes sir and no sir. That's never going to happen. Manners, no longer exist.

 

[Chicago526]

My friend has it worse. She's getting married in 5 weeks and still hasn't gotten about 75% of her reply cards back yet! No one on her fiance's side, and only about half of her side sent the card back (I sent mine back the day I got it in the mail. Of course I'm a bridesmaid so she knows I'll be there, but still!). She can't finalize the menu or tell the florist how many centerpieces or work out the seating or do place cards, or about a dozen other things, until she has a final head count! People are just rude!

Anyway OP, you'll just have to call them, either that or plan on 18 kids and hope they all show!

 

[CJBaby]

I ended up calling everyone. "Hi, this is _______'s Mom. I haven't heard from you regarding the party tomorrow. Is your brat planning to attend?"

My dd is having her 4th bday party in a month. Luckily all the moms are my friends, because I know I will have at least 22 calls to make in a few weeks! I really don't even let myself get upset, but I WILL track you down to get that RSVP before the party!

 

[disneynutcase]

How hard is it for people to take 2 minutes, make a phone call and say yes or no to the invitation. I don't understand. Glad my kids don't have parties anymore.

Jean

 

[grumpyvet]

Last year for my DD's 6th, I was so fed up with the "show up without RSVPing" arrivals, that I added a little slip of paper in my card with an answer from Miss Manners about RSVPing, and hand wrote at the bottom that in my family I am known as the "Grammar Police" and the "Manner's Police", so please mind your manners and let me know if your child will attend, oh, and remember your "please" and "thankyous", and "get your elbows off the table!!"
I got 18 responses, all of them laughing!!!

 

[pearlieq]

I once heard a great idea, especially for kids parties, is to put the date and time on the invite but leave off the location, instead writing in "Call for details". That way you can be sure if you don't hear from someone that they won't be coming, since they won't know where it is.

Of course, I can think of 10 ways why that might not work, which just proves that there's no limit to our capacity for rudeness!

I have an annual cookie exchange and if I haven't heard from someone by the RSVP date I give them a week and then send a last-chance message basically stating that I need to know today whether you're coming. If I don't hear from you, you're not welcome (of course I say it nicer than that).

 

[cybrkitn]

Last year for my DD's 6th, I was so fed up with the "show up without RSVPing" arrivals, that I added a little slip of paper in my card with an answer from Miss Manners about RSVPing, and hand wrote at the bottom that in my family I am known as the "Grammar Police" and the "Manner's Police", so please mind your manners and let me know if your child will attend, oh, and remember your "please" and "thankyous", and "get your elbows off the table!!"
I got 18 responses, all of them laughing!!!

I love that one!

 

[Hidden_Mickey]

Ugh, this is my WORST pet peeve. I have had people call to say they are coming then don't show and people who don't call show up. I planned a party last year for DS6 for 25 kids. 4 girls came. I spent $ reserving the place, buying pizza and favors. I swore, never again!

I always call either way. There was one time when I wasn't sure if we could make it but I called to say that too.

I understand people are busy but sheesh. You know someone is trying to plan.

With 2 kids and all their activities I have a master calendar that I keep. My other pet peeve is when people plan a party like a bridal shower with 2 weeks notice.

 

[Kath2003]

My Mum used to send out paper invitations with a slip at the bottom saying "Dear Kath2003, I will/will not be able to attend your party on DATE & TIME at LOCATION. Love from X" as well as her number on the invite. It kinda prompts parents to give a response.

 

[bethbuchall]

Last year for my DD's 6th, I was so fed up with the "show up without RSVPing" arrivals, that I added a little slip of paper in my card with an answer from Miss Manners about RSVPing, and hand wrote at the bottom that in my family I am known as the "Grammar Police" and the "Manner's Police", so please mind your manners and let me know if your child will attend, oh, and remember your "please" and "thankyous", and "get your elbows off the table!!"
I got 18 responses, all of them laughing!!!

I once heard a great idea, especially for kids parties, is to put the date and time on the invite but leave off the location, instead writing in "Call for details". That way you can be sure if you don't hear from someone that they won't be coming, since they won't know where it is.

I'm going to remember both of these for next year! If there even is a party like this next year. I'm thinking that maybe I can take ds and a few good friends and do something bigger. That's what we started doing with the older kids.

Thanks for all of the replies to this thread. You are all much better than the non-RSVPing parents.

I tried to make a couple of calls today but only talked to machines. I think I'm just going to order enough pizza and make enough cake for the big group. We don't mind extra pizza and cake around here. Then I'll make the "good" goody bags for the ones that did respond and a bunch of smaller goody bags that I can give out to anyone extra that shows up. The kids won't be completely left out, and I won't have a bunch of extra things. I won't make a big deal out of it. It really isn't the child's fault if his parents are manners-impaired.

 

[goofinoff]

This is one of my biggest pet peeves! If you wanted regrets only you would put "Regrets Only". I don't understand why it's such a big deal for people to pick up the phone and call to say yes or no! Have they never thrown a party!?!?!

 

[goofinoff]

Oh, one more thing...One of my dds little friends showed up at her party and I acted (overly) surprised to the mom. I said "Oh! I'm surprised to see you! I didn't get your R.S.V.P. so I assumed you weren't coming." She must have apologized 5 times through out the day. Kind of rude, but, hey so is showing up without responding!