What does RSVP mean to you?

[bethbuchall]

I sent out 19 invitations to ds's 8th birthday party. The party is tomorrow, and the RSVP date was yesterday. I gave my phone number and my e-mail address. I received back 6 (5 Yes, 1 No) responses out of the 19.

Now I'm trying to decide how many children to prepare for. To me, RSVP means respond with either a YES or a NO. Do others see it differently? Do many think it's regrets only? Maybe they think it's only if their child is coming?

I don't want any child to not get a goody bag or to run out of cake/ice cream, but I also don't want a lot of that left over.

How many do you think you would prepare for in this case?

Thanks!
Beth

 

[mommasita]

To be it means call YES or NO...But I hear you loud and clear. We have this problem EVERY Birthday party..I call the day I know my child is going, and it goes on the fridge, just in case I forget..


It actually means "répondez, s'il vous plaît," ..Which is please reply..

I would make 5 extra.

 

[Beth76]

I would call all the parents to find out if they're coming. You just can not rely on people to respond anymore. It's a pain, I know. I had to call 9 people two years ago--and most were coming. This year, I only had to call one--I was shocked!

 

[mickeyboat]

I ended up having to call people too, and even after that two people did not respond to my phone message. They ended up not calling, but I made got extra stuff to prepare for them either way.

So rude!

Denae

 

[KelNottAt]

Ugh! Bad RSVP manners drive me crazy.

This has happened to me. I ended up calling everyone. "Hi, this is _______'s Mom. I haven't heard from you regarding the party tomorrow. Is your brat planning to attend?" (just kidding on the brat part)

Some people apologize. Some say they didn't realize they were supposed to call.

If I don't reach everyone I still make a party favor for them, just in case they decide to grace us with their presence.

 

[Mady/Sophiemom]

I feel your pain. My DD invited 8, to her b-day party. We are bowling, so I needed to reserve the lanes, so I really needed a number.

I have gotten responses from 3--2 yes, 1 no. The party is Saturday.

 

[shirleyb]

To be quite honest, if I don't hear from someone, I will assume it's a no.

Don't always blame the parents, sometimes I don't get the invites from my kids until it's too late.

I always assume NO unless I hear otherwise, because I wouldn't show if I hadn't replied yes.

 

[lucas]

I always respond yes or no.

The term R.S.V.P. comes from the French expression "répondez s'il vous plaît", meaning "please respond."

 

[Conservative Hippie]

For weddings, they tell you to plan for 2/3 of the people you invite to attend, so out of 19, I'd say you would be safe planning for 12, maybe 10. I hate bad RSVP manners! It bugged me that my mom thought she didn't have to return the RSVP card for my brother's wedding ("of course they know I'll be there!"). I told her, they paid for a stamp on the return envelope, you return it!

I would call all the parents, if you have their numbers. Then at least they might realize their error and RSVP to the next invite their kid gets!

 

[barkley]

this is why is stopped doing parties for my kids. i went so far as to word the invitations such that it asked parents to let me know either way-did'nt work. i would call parents and leave messages-no replies. i would call parents and they would give an answer of 'yes'-then no show (or say 'no' and show up with extra kids who were'nt invited-not even sibs; cousins, visiting friends, s.o.'s kids way out of the appropriate age range ).

it just got too costly esp. when it was a place that charged per head and you had to give a committed head count to and charged if the kids showed or not (and some of the places would'nt let you add extra kids if they showed up unplanned for).

it's not just kid's parties anymore-it's any kind of invitation in general. catering companies now routinely tell brides to be to just give the counts for those who responded 'yes' because 'between the ones who did'nt rsvp and will show, and those who did rsvp 'yes' and won't show-it will pretty much balance out'

 

[bethbuchall]

Thanks! Maybe I will try to make some phone calls today. It really is annoying to not know how many to plan for. If I can't get in touch with everyone, I'll make a few extras. At least I'm not the only one who thinks that you need to respond either way.

 

[cybrkitn]

I hear you! I'm about ready to get invites out for DS4's b-day party this month and plan on hi-lighting the respond by date. The other reason is b/c the picture on the inside makes it hard to read in some areas (they are POTC3 invites).

I can't stand it when people do not respond with a yes or no and just assume I know . HELLO! I'm not a mind reader!

 

[wendy46001]

I right there with you all...and about to call 30 women for a bridal shower....sent out 32 invites...got two calls....UGH....

 

[EthansMom]

For DS's 5th Birthday, I had to call over half of the parents... many of them had completely forgotten about the invitation. And I had a heck of a time getting 10 kids (the minimum for the party place) who could come on a weekend in the summer.

For DS's 6th Birthday (coming up in August), I offered to have a kids' birthday party or, instead of having kids over, we could have cake and ice cream on DS's birthday and then DH and I would take DS into NYC on the train and go see Blue Man Group together on the weekend. DS asked, "Would I still get presents?" After being assured that we and his grandparents would still buy him presents, DS was perfectly happy to go to NYC.... it isn't cheaper, but I think we'll enjoy it a lot more.

 

[princesspiglet]

This drives me up the wall! I would say, sorry, tough luck, you didn't RSVP so I don't have anything for you.

Seriously, I had to do that last year for my DD's 4th birthday party. I had it at Color Me Mine and I had to pick out the peices in advance and pay for them. I requested on the invite: RSVP- You MUST call me to let me know if your child will be attending or not. I have to pick out the ceramic pieces before the party and if I do not get your reply, their will be no piece for your child to paint." I sent out 15 invitations and got back 12 replys of yes, so I assumed 12 kids were coming. Picked out 12 pieces and paid for them. Day of party, 2 other parents show up who did not RSVP either way and I tell them as politely as I could, "I stated on the invite I needed to know by Friday and I had not heard back from you, therefore, I assumed you were not coming. Your kids are more then welcome to stay for the party, but you will have to purchase their own pieces since I already paid for the party ones."
One was mad and left the party, too bad for her child. The other was apologetic and explained her situation and went ahead and bought her own piece.

AJ wants to do that again this year and I will do the same thing with the invites. What gets me is, whatever happened to common courtesy!!

 

[paintnolish]

Ugh! That drives me nuts! To me, it means to call and let someone know if you are coming or not. Usually, if people don't call, they don't come. However, at dd's last bday, I had someone show up who did not call. I had to scramble to piece together a goody bag.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I always respond within a day or two of getting an invitation. I know how frustrating it is not to get a reply. I always end up calling to follow up on the invites. Hasn't been a time yet that I haven't needed to.

My favorite response was, "We might be able to come.". (Excuse me?) "Can I say 50% -50%?". I was stunned and said uh ok. I just wanted to get off the phone. Turns out they did show up, dropped off the child and was 30 min. late picking the child up. We were waiting to leave. Wasn't the child's fault. I just focused on what a nice day we had, but I couldn't believe some people just the same.

 

[cybrkitn]

One was mad and left the party, too bad for her child. The other was apologetic and explained her situation and went ahead and bought her own piece.

AJ wants to do that again this year and I will do the same thing with the invites. What gets me is, whatever happened to common courtesy!!

Tough luck on the parent who was mad. You did your part and she didn't do hers. Her loss, maybe next time she'll learn to call when asked.

The second parent handled it right IMO.

Common courtesy? What's that ? I can't stand this "me" generation

 

[mickeyfan2]

To me it means to call back and say if I am coming or not.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

I respond to all invitations whether the kids can go or not. We haven't really ever had this problem, though. Generally only 1 or maybe 2 won't RSVP, and I correctly assume that means they won't be there. If they showed up though, I would never turn away a child because of their parents. I also think that people aren't always being rude, but most parents have a million things going on and could have just forgotten.