What does aging gracefully mean to you?

[Dan Murphy]

At age 78, aging gracefully for me at the moment is getting to 79 in July.

 

[LuvOrlando]

To grow older with grace means to move ahead with acceptance and a sense of humor. Being chill about age is dignified and powerful while fighting it too much just seems insecure. Sure little vanities are fine but there is a limit, like fake lashes on me look like caterpillars so that's over the limit for graceful.

 

[ronandannette]

I'll be 50 this year and every year I care less and less about what others think. I am clean and groomed, don't wear dirty clothes, and I don't stink. If someone is offended by how I look without makeup and perfect hair, that is on them. It is sad to think about how much time some waste on vanity just to impress a bunch of strangers. That is what I think.

Newsflash - it's unlikely anybody even notices, let alone is offended by how you look. And the idea that those of us who "waste" time doing our hair or putting on make-up are doing it to impress anybody else, because it's unlikely anybody even notices, let alone is impressed, is laughable.

 

[Traveling on cc points]

I am going to disagree with most of the people here. Several people have said, no Botox or plastic surgery.
I am not advocating for either but I think you absolutely can still age gracefully AND get Botox injections and or have a little nip/tuck if that is what is going to make you happy. As long as you are doing it to make you feel good about you. I say go for it.

 

[Lilsia]

Newsflash - it's unlikely anybody even notices, let alone is offended by how you look. And the idea that those of us who "waste" time doing our hair or putting on make-up are doing it to impress anybody else, because it's unlikely anybody even notices, let alone is impressed, is laughable.

It kind of sounds like you are offended by how people look by the tone of your post. Why are you putting make up on when you can't even see your own face when you are out and about, if not to look good for others? You might want to examine why my post hit a nerve with you because that is an extremely strong response about makeup. If you want to wear make up, then do so. No need to get all snippy about it.

 

[Lilsia]

I am going to disagree with most of the people here. Several people have said, no Botox or plastic surgery.
I am not advocating for either but I think you absolutely can still age gracefully AND get Botox injections and or have a little nip/tuck if that is what is going to make you happy. As long as you are doing it to make you feel good about you. I say go for it.

I think that some people weigh the pros and cons of these things. There are so many issues with plastic surgery that is it really worth it to look a few years younger? People still die getting a "little nip/tuck". I bet all of those families wished that they person was comfortable enough with themselves to not give their life for it. Everyone needs to watch the TV show "Botched" if they ever feel the need for some plastic surgery.

 

[Traveling on cc points]

I think that some people weigh the pros and cons of these things. There are so many issues with plastic surgery that is it really worth it to look a few years younger? People still die getting a "little nip/tuck". I bet all of those families wished that they person was comfortable enough with themselves to not give their life for it. Everyone needs to watch the TV show "Botched" if they ever feel the need for some plastic surgery.

Yes. Any surgery has risks but 99% of the time, it goes off without a hitch.
I guess I see it differently. I think if something bothers you enough that you are willing
To go under the knife then people shouldn’t be made to feel bad about it.

When my daughter was little, her ears protruded from her head a decent amount. She absolutely refused to wear her hair up in a ponytail tail because that made her “look like dumbo” (her words) no matter how many times we told her how beautiful she was, nothing worked. This went on for years. When she was in middle school, She googled how to get them “fixed” and found out that surgery could be done. She begged and begged to let her have the surgery.
I finally gave in when she was a freshman in high school. She is now 22 and says it is the best thing she has ever done. You may think that I did the wrong thing but after seeing my child suffer for years with not feeling confident when she looked in the mirror, I feel I did the right thing and wish I had let her do it long before I did.

 

[lisaviolet]

At age 78, aging gracefully for me at the moment is getting to 79 in July.

Am I allowed to laugh? Cause I did.

 

[Jangles]

At age 78, aging gracefully for me at the moment is getting to 79 in July.

Cheers to that!

 

[Jangles]

I am going to disagree with most of the people here. Several people have said, no Botox or plastic surgery.
I am not advocating for either but I think you absolutely can still age gracefully AND get Botox injections and or have a little nip/tuck if that is what is going to make you happy. As long as you are doing it to make you feel good about you. I say go for it.

The thing about nipping and tucking is that it surely involves a general anaesthetic, and I feel that as one ages, one should avoid those unless absolutely necessary.

I have become more and more comfortable in my own skin as I have aged. I have earned every wrinkle through laughter or tears, and I am proud of those life lines.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Aging gracefully for me means accepting that wrinkles and grey hair are a part of life, that doing things a little more slowly is OK as long as you're still doing something, and that being comfortable with who you are when you're old and wise is just as important as being comfortable with who you are when you're young and pretty.

 

[easyas123]

Perhaps aging gracefully could also mean accepting that how one person approaches it may not be how I approach it and that’s ok….doesn’t mean either is the wrong way to be graceful.
Reading some of these responses made me realize I’ve not been being very graceful towards others.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I have definitely struggled with the whole aging thing.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I figure I’ve fought long and hard to be where I am right now and I have nothing to hide.

Now granted, I saw a picture of myself from 35 yrs ago the other day and I look a lot different. But that’s ok.
I feel like I look better than I did 10 yrs ago.

For me, at least part of it is a state of mind. I try to keep my hair looking nice and work with it daily. I don’t wear makeup but my skin is in good shape and I make sure to pluck those stray chin hairs out weekly I don’t want to scare anyone! My fingernails and toenails are neat and polished, and I shaved my legs yesterday (thought I might be throwing some shorts on, it got so hot here!). I also spray on a little of my favorite perfume every day. All of that makes me feel good. Like, I haven’t fallen completely apart, lol. I still have my natural hair color and haven’t gone completely gray yet, so I feel fortunate there. (I just use color shampoo when I wash my hair and it helps hide most of the few grays I have, which I don’t like - on me. I’ve seen others that it looks fantastic on!) I just got hearing aids recently and that blows my mind a little, but I put them on and try not to think about it too much, lol.

I also enjoy the wisdom that comes with an older age. I really do try not to sweat the small stuff. I have a different attitude about work - it’s a different feeling than I had ten or fifteen years ago, like, I’m here by choice and I can leave if I want to. I’m not out to impress anyone I’m just there to do my job. There’s a certain sense of freedom that comes with that. I’m also not fighting all the younger people over ideas, even when mine might be different or we tried that years ago. I can just let it be. One part of my job hasn’t changed and that’s the patient. That’s who I’m there for.

I think it’s also recognizing that times are changing. That is probably the hardest part. We grew up in a time that was very different from the way the world is today, and I miss it sometimes. And I miss the people who are no longer with us, whether that’s through a death or a move or a job change, etc. But I can appreciate the time we had together and how they impacted my life. It’s like everything is coming full circle now, if that makes sense.

I think 50 is different than 60, and 60 is probably different than 70, etc. All different stages. I think we can mourn old times but still look forward to new. I can’t wait to become a grandmother and hope it happens in my lifetime!

I’m sure there’s more but that’s how I think of aging gracefully. Accepting that you’re getting older and moving along with it. This, of course, will be different for everyone. to all.

Good question @lifesavacation!

 

[lifesavacation]

OP here. Great responses.

I‘m an advocate of you do it your way. I guess I’m still sorting out what my way is, which is why I asked.

My goal is to love the body I’m in. I‘m finding that harder these days. I’m a little more self conscious without clothes in front of my husband. I spend more time picking clothes because I’m not really sure what my style is or how I should style my hair so I don’t look frumpy or trying too hard to look youthful. I went to a baby shower recently and was seated at the “old” end of the table. All signs point to I’m aging

Anyways, I should probably get out of my head on this. I’m grateful to be getting older.

 

[Lilsia]

Yes. Any surgery has risks but 99% of the time, it goes off without a hitch.
I guess I see it differently. I think if something bothers you enough that you are willing
To go under the knife then people shouldn’t be made to feel bad about it.

When my daughter was little, her ears protruded from her head a decent amount. She absolutely refused to wear her hair up in a ponytail tail because that made her “look like dumbo” (her words) no matter how many times we told her how beautiful she was, nothing worked. This went on for years. When she was in middle school, She googled how to get them “fixed” and found out that surgery could be done. She begged and begged to let her have the surgery.
I finally gave in when she was a freshman in high school. She is now 22 and says it is the best thing she has ever done. You may think that I did the wrong thing but after seeing my child suffer for years with not feeling confident when she looked in the mirror, I feel I did the right thing and wish I had let her do it long before I did.

That is completely different than someone getting older and wanting a "lift". We all know that. Not sure why you are making that comparison.

 

[tzolkin]

I think it's more about a state of mind and finally being comfortable in your own skin. That can mean different things to different people. Some will dye their hair, others won't, some will wear make up some won't. I think it's about accepting you are getting older and living life anyway. Being grateful you are alive instead of being bitter you are older.

This is a beautiful description.

I definitely think the "gracefully" part is more of a mindset of being at peace and fully embracing the stage of life you are in than about any specific thing you choose to do or not do. I think it's not being afraid of being "old", but still taking the time to care for yourself (in whatever way feels best to you).

I’m a little more self conscious without clothes in front of my husband.

I've actually had the opposite experience as I have aged. I spent my youth being way too self-conscious about the way I looked. I think back and feel so sad for that girl who grew up in the Florida heat but always wearing a sweater because my arms were too hairy, never owning a pair of shorts because my legs were too pale, not eating because I didn't want to gain weight, avoiding fun activities like swimming because I was scared to wear a bathing suit in public, etc.

Of course, I still have times where I'm critical of myself, but in general I feel more comfortable with my body now than I ever did when I was much younger and thinner. I think in some ways I feel that I "wasted" my attractiveness in my youth, so I had better appreciate what I have now and enjoy it as much as possible.

 

[Traveling on cc points]

That is completely different than someone getting older and wanting a "lift". We all know that. Not sure why you are making that comparison.

We will have to agree to disagree. If an older woman or even a man looks in the mirror and sees something that makes them feel bad about themselves and some Botox injections or even surgery will make them feel better and more confident, why not do it if that’s where they want to spend their money?

Where do you draw the line? If a 45 year old mother who breastfeed her 3 children wanted to get a breast lift because she didn’t feel good about the way she looked, would that be ok in your eyes?

 

[Lilsia]

We will have to agree to disagree. If an older woman or even a man looks in the mirror and sees something that makes them feel bad about themselves and some Botox injections or even surgery will make them feel better and more confident, why not do it if that’s where they want to spend their money?

Where do you draw the line? If a 45 year old mother who breastfeed her 3 children wanted to get a breast lift because she didn’t feel good about the way she looked, would that be ok in your eyes?

That is where you would have to weigh the risks vs the rewards on that I guess. I think that growing old gracefully is someone accepting their natural body as it ages and changes. It is completely normal to have saggy breast after nourishing your babies and no one should feel bad about that. I think that society has done woman, especially, a huge disservice in thinking that we always have to be "perfect". Nice hair, makeup, perky breasts, etc. It is not natural and let's face it, it is done to keep men happy whether some want to admit that or not. Men don't get a scrotum lift when they start sagging as they age and everyone would think that was bonkers anyway because it is a natural part of aging.
IDK why so many, especially other woman of a certain age, try so hard to please society and let others dictate how they should feel about their bodies. Personally, I will never have my breasts lifted because my life is more important than perky boobs. And for the record, I am not speaking hypothetically "if" they sag because mine are almost touching my belly button, but I don't care.

 

[chrisney]

I'm 69. Have both COPD and severe Crohns disease. The physical side of growing old ISNT graceful. The emotional/spiritual part is what I have to work with, and fortunately I had an inspiring role model for that. Mom had cardiomyopathy and severe heart failure...was hospitalized over 240 times (not a typo). When she died, the nursing staff had a plaque made and hung which read that every morning when she awoke, she said thank you for another day. I caused my COPD, so have no right to complain and hit the genetic jackpot with the Crohns. Growing old gracefully means that I do the best I can with each day, and make as much of a difference as possible for the people I love.