What do your children know about death?

[SandrA9810]

Death doesn't have that harsh grieving thing on me. I don't know what it is. I was 14, about a week left of school when my g'father died. I was very close to him as I grew up between my g'parent's house and my aunt's house for school. I spent the weekend there, said our goodbyes on sunday night after dinner, said see ya wensday (we went to church wensday nights as well, and church was by them so we had dinner there before church). And wensday morning my aunt came into my room to tell me that Pa was taken to the hospital last night/early morning and passed away. It was very sudden, he was only in his 60's, but I know now that he did have heart problems for a long time.
I already knew what death was by that time, but I never cried much, and for a long time I just felt like when I go there next weekend, he'll still be there. But I also remember having very vivid dreams about being with him, like to a colorguard competition. No one else in the family showed up but him, and I spent the whole afternoon with him. I'd wake up, and it just felt so real to me and I can still remember them like they actually happened.
My g'mother is 83 now, and I know it's only a matter of time for her. She's had some pretty bad medical problems that could've taken her life several times. But now she's getting very weak and loosing her short term memory to the point of repeating something in a conversation 3 times. I wish I lived closer to her now, but I have a hard time dealing with the way she is now.

I think my hardest death experience was when my cat died, I was about 16. It was the middle of the night and my mom heard dogs barking and she woke me up to tell me they dragged my cat off. I found her one house down next to the street barely alive. I carried her home and she died on the way to the ER vet. I knew on our way there that she was gone, but I didn't want to believe it.

 

[PaulaSue]

I always have been the kind of Mom who brought her kids with her anywhere and everywhere. My girls have gone to too many funerals to count (both of DH's G-mas died, 2 weeks apart to just name 2 of them). It is sad but a good way for for them to say goodbye and understand why we are sad.

I had a great "kids" book on death but I lost it in the Move. I think I got it from Discovery Toys.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm irish - we don't shield our children from death. If someone dies, the kids attend the wake and funeral. My middle child was 3 when my 95 year old grandmother took a turn for the worse, so I explained how her body was old and tired, and would stop working, her soul (her person) would go to heaven, and at the wake, she would see her body, but she would no longer be in it, and people would be sad for themselves, because they missed her, but she would be happy in heaven with her other loved ones.

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

My mother died when I was pregnant with my first DD. My DD is seven now, and she knows a lot about her Grandma. I've tried to be open and honest with her about death, as it is a natural part of life and I don't want her to be frightened of it. We go and visit my mother's grave and talk about her being in heaven. She's been to a few funerals, her great grandpa's and great Uncle's. But, I dont' think she really understood that children, too, can pass untill she watched My Girl, the movie based loosely on A Taste of Blackberries with Macaulay Culkin. That movie was hard on her, but gave us good chance to talk about death and our faith.

I did have to stop taking her to visit Grandma's grave so often, though, as she was almost too comfortable there. When she started pointing out the little mausoleums, she would say, "That's where I'm going to be stuffed after I'm dead." So, I guess there's a fine line between the right amount of information and too much.

 

[freckles and boo]

My children know that dead is gone but that love lives on in our hearts and our memories. My husband is Catholic and I am an atheist. We tell our girls that some people believe the dead are in heaven and some don't and that they are free to believe what they like. Our younger daughter has autism and tends to think very literally. When we visit the cemetery she says hi to her grandparents at their graves because for her heaven is too abstract. She asks a lot about two kitties we have lost because she wants to know where they are (they were cremated and that is a place I am NOT ready to go with her yet). Our older daughter believes they are in heaven and believes in the supernatural. We try not to allow too much sadness enter into our visits. We talk and laugh and remember.