What do you think of this party invitation? It ticks me off/PARTY UPDATE post 152

[OceanAnnie]

How rude of those moms. I would only send a gift for the child my child knows. If the mom doesn't like it she can take it up with me. Why should you spend money on the other child too? Times are tough for alot of people and expecting this much is way overboard.

It really is way overboard. The invitation sounds like admission rules: 2 presents with exactly the same amount spent on each. Super deluxe turn off. My feet couldn't walk in that direction. I'd either have a way around it or not go at all.

 

[hegsag]

If your child really wants to attend, I would let him, but I would not send a gift with him. I would have the gift delivered in advance (or deliver it myself in advance.) I would not boycott in a situation where each child is only getting to invite 5 friends, it's not very kind to make the children pay for their parents' bad manners.

The rude parents deserve having to deal with this dilemma, as they created it. The proper thing to do when you have a joint party is to put the gifts aside until after the party and wait to open them later. That way there is no competition during the party as to who has received which gifts. Obviously, it's up to the parents to explain to the children that the gifts must wait, and also to make sure that thank-you notes are sent in a timely fashion.

I agree with everything you wrote. However, I think I would let your son's mother know that you will not be bringing a gift for either child -- the both get the same thing and no hurt feelings. I would give your son's friend his gift on a different day. That invite is totally ridiculous!!!!

 

[trip]

The Birthday Boys should only get gifts from their 5 friends. But what I really want to know is - do people really spend $50 on a birthday gift for a kids party?

 

[RichNKatHolly]

Wow! Super rude invitation. These two moms have way tooooo much free time.

My DD was invited to a joint party. But we didn't know that until we got there. The girl that invited her got a gift from us and it seems that is the way it was for everyone.

If your son really wants to go, I'd let him and I'd send him with one gift for the friend that invited him. No way would the mother be telling me what would be appropriate to avoid hurt feelings! Hurt feelings come with life - my kids have learned that one already - they can cry about it, but that's how it is and let's all move on.

Anyway, I haven't seen kids open gifts AT a party in a long time. Usually that is done at home.

 

[Judy Judy Judy]

The Birthday Boys should only get gifts from their 5 friends. But what I really want to know is - do people really spend $50 on a birthday gift for a kids party?

Hehe I was thinking the same thing...geez times have sure changed since my children were small...30.00 and I would have had them both knocked out..ha

 

[Tuffcookie]

Not only would my child NOT attend, I wouldn't RSVP!

TC

 

[OctMtnWoods]

Do & spend what you want. Its not like they are going to throw you out of the party.

If one of the moms says something, then explain it.

 

[ols386]

Do & spend what you want. Its not like they are going to throw you out of the party.

If one of the moms says something, then explain it.

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

DW Lauri had a suggestions -- You could get each kid a gift card to Toys R Us or somewhere like that, one for the best friend for $50 and one for the other kid for $5. Don't write the value on them. The only way the parents will know is if they call the 800# on the back while at the party. If they have the gall to do that, then kick their butt.

OP, you said your son is best friends with the one kid but doesn't like the other. Does the other kid have many friends? Maybe it's a combo party because the best friend would have a big turnout at his party but the other kid wouldn't.

 

[kacaju]

If I were planning on spending $50 on one of my kids friends and got an invitation like that, I'd go out and find two of the exact same thing for about $10 each and be happy I just saved $30!!!

 

[mousetravel]

If I were planning on spending $50 on one of my kids friends and got an invitation like that, I'd go out and find two of the exact same thing for about $10 each and be happy I just saved $30!!!

I agree! I think I would go to Toys R Us, and get them each a $10 gift card.
More than likely, when the mom takes them there, she will have to put some $$ with it, as there isn't a lot that $10 will buy there!

 

[Tink888]

WOW!!!! People are really something.

My first instinct would be to toss the invite in the trash and maybe have the b-day friend over to spend the day with your son and give him his gift then. And I'd be tempted to send both of the Mom's cards that said....."In the interest of fairness to my son and my wallet, we won't be coming to the party"........

but then you can't make kids pay for the stupidity of their parents........

I like the idea of 5.00 gift cards for both boys and then something extra for the friend.

 

[DWGal210]

What a nice lesson these parents are teaching their kids; it matters more the $$ of the gift and that you get one rather than the sentiment and thought behind it. And people wonder why some people grow up to be entitled adults.

I got a wedding invitation once that reminded me of this; the bride and the groom apparently wanted to purchase some new furniture and so in their wedding invitation said they would prefer to receive cash so they could buy that furniture. If I recall, I just went with my original plan and picked some towels or something off their registry.

 

[MissMichelle]

I would hate to have my son NOT go to the party, but at the same time I don't think I have ever heard anything so rude when it comes to kids parties. How they even THINK this is ok is beyond me. The poor kids. If it was my sons closest friend I would probably invite him out and take the kids to go do something fun and get him a gift. Just my $.02!

 

[dismom2]

Tacky, tacky, tacky!! Hopefully, somebody, somehow, will let these women know that this is totally rude of them.

 

[Missy1961]

I'm with you--it doesn't seem fair to the guests. I'd either do the gift card thing, or give the friend a gift, and not the other kid. Tough luck.

 

[ozarkmom]

That is so stupid. If your son wants to go then go with what you were going to do all along. What are they going to do stop people at the door and check for presents?? For the record when my youngest ds was younger he/we had a huge group of kids and moms that all went to sunday school and daycare and other activities together. Several of these kids birthdays fell in the same month and a couple of times one of my friends talked me in to combining our boy's parties together. Some of the others in the group did the same we were birthday partying the whole month of January it seemed. We never put any stipulations. Both our boys invited the whole sunday school class and then some of their individual friends. I don't think anyone sat and kept track of how many presents each child got.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

When we got custody of my one DSD the very first birthday party she was invited to was a roller skating party for 3 girls. The parents were able to rent the whole rink for the afternoon and invited everyone in the entire grade (small school so probably about 60 kids).
They requested that all gifts be kept to a minimum of $5, buy gifts for whom you wanted and gave a specific toy store as a recommended gift certificate. So I went got 3 $5 gift cards. DSD barely knew any of them but her psycho mom would never let her go to any parties and she was dying to go.

I wasn't offended by the invite but maybe it was my personal circumstances and the no "requirement" to buy gifts for all birthday girls.
I'd be miffed if I was "instructed" to buy a gift.

 

[mickeyboat]

We have joint birthday parties for my girls (one year apart in age, same grade in school, birthdays less than a week apart). I never specify, but each guest has always bought a gift for each of them.

I feel a little torn about having their party together but figure people would rather go to one party than have to find time in their schedules to go to two in such a short period of time.

Now that the kids are getting older, and have different friends, the joint party may be becoming a thing of the past. We'll have to see.

I was invited to a joint party one time that I did not know was a joint party. I showed up expecting to celebrate my godson's birthday, bringing a very nice gift, and found out there was a birthday girl, too. I felt terrible that I did not have a gift for her too.

 

[jrmasm]

We have joint birthday parties for my girls (one year apart in age, same grade in school, birthdays less than a week apart).

This I understand. Unrelated kids, I'll admit it, I don't get it.