WHAT??? do you think everyone around you is stupid?

[cheermom1]

I agree with you totally. You cannot help someone that will not help themselves and some people just like the drama. Its sad for the kids though.

I agree I feel bad for the kids really I do...mom went down there while she was in jail to help him (long story but I thought is was wrong) any way she said that they need clothes they don't have any that fit them...however my bro is always posting about the toys he buys himself...irritates me to no end

But what can I do? I mean I can't afford to buy them clothes and let my bro spend money on himself ..he needs to figure it out himself...it seems like enabling to me ..the kids are still little so I am hoping that once she is gone he will get the hang of it and a light bulb will go off ..since they are little it won't hurt for him to struggle a little on his own..that is his problem he has never had to be a dad..he thinks that all he has to do is go to work and that is it!! so I really think if he was a single dad for a while it will do him some good to know what is really like to be a parent!! can you tell I am not very happy with him???

 

[luvsJack]

You are right. It may be best for him to have to struggle on his own. He may actually wake up and realize he needs to do better for his kids. You buying clothes for them now is only going to help for a little while. They will grow out of those clothes too.

 

[cheermom1]

You are right. It may be best for him to have to struggle on his own. He may actually wake up and realize he needs to do better for his kids. You buying clothes for them now is only going to help for a little while. They will grow out of those clothes too.

That's what I keep telling my parents b/c they got it in their heads that since he is a male they need to move in with him and take care of the kids...

grr I was a single mom for 10 YEARS!! not one time did they do that for me!! He NEEDS to stand on his own feet!!! He has a house and car and a very good job, makes way more than I ever did..so I don;t know why they think he can't make it on his own..

 

[luvsJack]

That's what I keep telling my parents b/c they got it in their heads that since he is a male they need to move in with him and take care of the kids...

grr I was a single mom for 10 YEARS!! not one time did they do that for me!! He NEEDS to stand on his own feet!!! He has a house and car and a very good job, makes way more than I ever did..so I don;t know why they think he can't make it on his own..

My mom is the same way! I have to get on her a little bit some times with my ds. She just assumes he can't take care of dgd when his gf works at night! Must be the generation. But yet when I had his older brother at barely 18 she just assumed I knew what to do (didn't have a clue!!! had never even baby sat before!)

Anyway, they are enabling him. As long as they take over and do it for him, he has no reason to do it himself. Hopefully your mom will at least use your brother's money to buy the kid's clothes and not her own. Maybe he likes to be considered unable to care for his family? Or his wife has made him believe that he can't? Either way, the best way to help him would be to show him that he can do it.

 

[cheermom1]

My mom is the same way! I have to get on her a little bit some times with my ds. She just assumes he can't take care of dgd when his gf works at night! Must be the generation. But yet when I had his older brother at barely 18 she just assumed I knew what to do (didn't have a clue!!! had never even baby sat before!)

Anyway, they are enabling him. As long as they take over and do it for him, he has no reason to do it himself. Hopefully your mom will at least use your brother's money to buy the kid's clothes and not her own. Maybe he likes to be considered unable to care for his family? Or his wife has made him believe that he can't? Either way, the best way to help him would be to show him that he can do it.

I agree..I know a guy that got his kids when the youngest was just a baby and he NEVER looked back he just did it!! His parents wouldn't just take over and he knew that. he did a very good job..he of course struggled and stuff but he did it

Me, my dh, my other bro and his wife all have talked to my parents and they know how we feel about it..they keep saying that with his hours he can't do it..I told mom last night that he posts of face book every day when he gets off work and he is on his way home..mom said that she seen what time he gets home when they were there ..i told her that the reason he did that was b/c they were there he knew he could do that ...gggrrrrrrrrrr

 

[minkydog]

She doesn't want help..she has said that she doesn't owe anything b/c she didn't steal that much and that they got most of it back anyway and she shouldn't have any jail time at all...now what she did was steal a CC from the place she was working and racked up over 20k on it and she some how got a key to their PO and was stealing their mail 1. to get the CC bill and 2. to see if any CC offers would come in...plus she gave a few things she bought with the CC to a cop (who had no idea she did this till they came to pick up the items for his house) she even sent somethings to someone in another state and they had to go get them...on top of that she has already been in jail for the same behavior once before...she also like I said took my other sil's ID but they didn't have enough evidence to make that one stick (bunch of legal crap!!)

Like I said she doesn't want the help.....

You're right, she doesn't think she's doing anything so wrong. People like this actually think that if they can get away with it, then the other person is just stupid. Keep this woman at arm's length. Better yet, keep her in the next county. How do you know when she's lying? Her lips are moving.

My DH has a cousin about 8 years younger than him who has always been a little bit smarmy, IMO. I have never liked him from the time he was a teen(he molested his 5yo half-brother). One day the cousin showed up at DHs parents house asking for DHs birth certificate. He said that he had an ulcer and his doctor "needed to get the medical records of anyone in the family who ever had an ulcer"--Bingo, that would be DH. His parents didin't understand, but they gave him the birth certificate anyway, completely trusting this young cousin.

Well, guess what the cousin did with it? He got a job as a go-go dancer in a gay bar! He was just 17, well under the legal age. However, he had a birth certificate to "prove" his age. Well, that didn't fly when the place was raided. THey figured out pretty quick that he was a minor. Not only that, but in this smallish town EVERYBODY heard about it, except with MY HUSBANDS NAME, not cousins! He felt like he couldn't even show his face around there.

Since then Cousin has gone on to an illustrious career in "herbal medicine"(what he told his mother ) for which he got busted and sent to jail. Followed that with a stint in prison for dealing meth. Contracted HIV there, which turned to AIDS, and now sells used cars and lives with his 64yo mother. We keep our distance.

 

[BCV513]

Taken from the OP's signature:

Brilliant people talk about ideas
average people talk about things
small people talk about other people


Where does "people who start message board threads talking about other people" fall in that bit of wisdom?

 

[cheermom1]

Taken from the OP's signature:

Brilliant people talk about ideas
average people talk about things
small people talk about other people


Where does "people who start message board threads talking about other people" fall in that bit of wisdom?

WOW this is someone that has done some really bad things to our family and I was venting!! Like I'm sure you have done yourself! This woman is not someone I consider a person that falls in that category for the things she has done...

 

[sbell111]

WOW this is someone that has done some really bad things to our family and I was venting!! Like I'm sure you have done yourself! This woman is not someone I consider a person that falls in that category for the things she has done...

Still, it's worth thinking about.

 

[cheermom1]

Still, it's worth thinking about.

Sounds like to me you are wanting to stir the pot?!

 

[sbell111]

Sounds like to me you are wanting to stir the pot?!

Not at all. I am merely thinking that your sig makes alot of sense, regardless of the situation.