What do you think about this?

[Feralpeg]

A lady I use to work with came home from work one day to find a note on the refrigerator from her husband telling her he was leaving her for another woman. This was after ten years of marriage and two kids. Talk about low. After the fact, she remembered only one thing that should have given her a clue that something was wrong. He had asked her to have a garage sale and sell all of his tools. He told her he was tired of them. Other than that, she had no idea there was a problem until she found the note.

 

[C.Ann]

A similar thing happened to one of my friends DD's many years ago and it literally shot shockwaves across our entire community.. The "couple" had been together from junior high - until they set their wedding date when they turned 21.. We all saw them pretty much on a daily basis and no one ever suspected a thing.. They seemed truly happy - looking forward to a long, happy life together - until it was discovered that "he" had another girl - and a child - stashed away in an apartment across town!!

I will never, ever forget that day.. We all cried - and cried - and cried.. They always "seemed" so right for each other - the whole "soul mate" thing..

What money could be retrieved (not much) was retrieved - but the poor "future bride"? I remember her sitting in their living room - just rocking and rocking and rocking in their living room rocker for many, many weeks.. She quit her job - refused to go out - wouldn't even go to church (previously a very, very important part of her life).. Eventually she went to see a therapist - and eventually went on to marry a really nice man - but still to this day I don't think she has ever really gotten over it..

It's a horrible, horrible thing to do to a person.. My heart just breaks for your mom's friend's DD..

 

[Disney Doll]

I think he was a coward for not doing it in person, but as far as doing it, if he truly didn't feel it was right to marry her, then he did her a favor.

 

[PaulaSB12]

My mothers BFF has a DD who is in her late 20's. Her and her boyfriend dated for 3 years, got engaged and the wedding is in 2 weeks. 2 weeks ago was the bridal shower and the bride to be was so happy and excited about her wedding, naturally. This wedding is costing her parents $60,000! A few days ago she was on her way to pick up her dress when her fiancee called her on her cell. He tells her he can't marry her, he wants to break up because there is no passion in the relationship. Might I add that he went to Vegas for his bachelor party and was back maybe a few days before calling her to dump her. This poor girl has had a breakdown and is now highly medicated. Her sister had to pick up her dress and make all the phone calls to the 300 guests telling them that the wedding is off. The mother is so distraught she can't tlk to anyone.

While I think it is probably a blessing in disguise and it's better to do it now than after marrying her but, if you were with someone for 3 years don't you owe them the decency to break up with them in person? Don't you know something is wrong in the relationship before it's 2 weeks before the wedding? How do you stand there during all the planning and watching her parents dish out all this money and not say anything?

I have seen people who have had doubts but because wedding plans are being made they feel that they can't say anything, maybe he was having doubts before but felt that he couldnt say anything, it was probably not the best way to cancel it but really did you want him to marry her and then dump her after the wedding?

 

[Swan4Me]

Sorry-but I cant sympathize on idiots who spend that kind of money on a wedding-ridiculous

 

[Tinkermommy]

I think he was a coward for not doing it in person, but as far as doing it, if he truly didn't feel it was right to marry her, then he did her a favor.

ITA

The phone call was rubbish. If he felt he truly shouldn't get married then he made the right choice for both of them. He should told her face-to-face though.

 

[Desnik]

Wow I feel terrible about all these stories some of you have posted!

As for the parents being idiots that was a little harsh. These parents are wealthy, well educated good people. They put her two older siblings through college, one of them through med school. She went to college but the expense was no where near what they did for the other two. So they always told her when she got married they would pay. I guess they like to keep what they spend on their three children even, who knows. But she is a good girl, their youngest and if they can afford it, who cares how much the wedding was. And btw, in NY that is the average cost of a wedding for 300 people.

I was told by mom mom yesterday that she has taken a few weeks off from work because she is so distraught and embarrassed.

 

[JaneBanks]

Sorry-but I cant sympathize on idiots who spend that kind of money on a wedding-ridiculous

You can't sympathize for someone with a broken heart because you think they spent too much of THEIR money?

WOW.


I can't imagine how the family must feel. I'm sad for them!

 

[avgeek81]

I'm sorry your friend is going thru this. A simular thing happened to one of my firends. And i guess alot of other, according to this thread. Her fiance broke up with her and kicked her out of the house they were sharing about a month before the wedding, it was also on her birthday. I dont know the whole story because even tho ive been friends with this girl for 12 yrs there has been times we drifted apart and not really talked for long periods of time. This was during one of the times. I dont think i even met the guy. I was at his house once but i dont think he was there. Anyway they broke up and as others have said it was better in the long run. His mom still sends her cards at the holidays. And she talks to him every once in awhile.

 

[SydSim]

Unfortunately, there's always three sides to the story....his, hers and the truth.

We all think that we know everything (because we are family/friends/coworkers), but we usually only know what someone wants us to know.

Who knows what type of relationship these two really had. Heck, while he was in Vegas, she could have been calling like the girl in The Hangover (just used it as an example) The point is that sometimes there are things going on that outsiders aren't aware of.

A good friend was engaged years ago. I always knew that she was prima donna (but loved her anyway). Everyone else thought that she walked on water. During her engagement, her fiance told her that he thought that they shouldn't get maried (for whatever reason, I'm not sure). My friend had one of her other friends speak with him and convinced him to change his mind and continue on with the plans. They married and during that first year, she was asked how married life was. She said "All i wanted was the big ring, the big wedding and the big house" Needless to say, he left her right after their first anniversary. She came home to a for sale sign on their lawn

My point is that relationships can appear one way to outsiders, but be entirely different behind closed doors. If he had been having reservations about the marriage, and telling her about it, then calling her on the phone may have been better for him (he may have felt less pressured to change his mind if he wasn't right there with her in person).

Just another way to look at things.

 

[JessicaR]

I think he was a coward for not doing it in person, but as far as doing it, if he truly didn't feel it was right to marry her, then he did her a favor.

Absolutely!

I'm guessing he has some character flaws that she may have been aware of. When the hurt subsides hopefully she can see he did her a huge favor. What a jerk and a coward!

 

[FredinFL]

Sounds like someone had too much bachelor in his party. Hugs to the girl. She's much better off finding out he's a lout now than after having 3 kids and wasting her life with some jerk.

I'd make him pay me back any money I spent on the wedding tho, like money the reception hall keeps and the like.

 

[Swan4Me]

You can't sympathize for someone with a broken heart because you think they spent too much of THEIR money?

WOW.


I can't imagine how the family must feel. I'm sad for them!

I think there is more to the story - and This extremly
overpriced wedding nay have been what scared
him off- don't you think?

 

[JaneBanks]

I think there is more to the story - and This extremly
overpriced wedding nay have been what scared
him off- don't you think?

No. I'm from NY and that's a pretty average price for a wedding of 300 people.

 

[wtccheermom]

Sorry-but I cant sympathize on idiots who spend that kind of money on a wedding-ridiculous

Jealous Much???

 

[Disney Doll]

Sorry-but I cant sympathize on idiots who spend that kind of money on a wedding-ridiculous

Why? If they can afford it, they should spend whatever amount of $$ they want on a wedding.

 

[Swan4Me]

Jealous Much???

Oh yeah-I'm so jealous

I'd give the kids the $$ for downpayment on their first house
(Which we have already done for our oldest)


My point is-maybe the young man was overwhelmed by how overboard the wedding is (no matter if its the "norm' there)-maybe he sees her only wanting "the Ring, the Dress and the Wedding"-who knows.

This thread is all pure speculation based on hearsay

 

[LexiC123]

Sorry-but I cant sympathize on idiots who spend that kind of money on a wedding-ridiculous

Wow...seriously?!

So, let me ask you then...under these circumstances, at what monetary level do people stop being "idiots" and become worthy of your sympathy? $10,000? $5,000? $49.95?

 

[Desnik]

Oh yeah-I'm so jealous

I'd give the kids the $$ for downpayment on their first house
(Which we have already done for our oldest)


My point is-maybe the young man was overwhelmed by how overboard the wedding is (no matter if its the "norm' there)-maybe he sees her only wanting "the Ring, the Dress and the Wedding"-who knows.

This thread is all pure speculation based on hearsay

I can assure you that has nothing to do with it. He comes from a wealthy family and really for these people this isn't extravagant at all. She is actually a very simple girl who works hard and isn't materialistic at all.

Also, they both have really good jobs and were just about to go to closing on a townhouse they were purchasing on their own. Luckily they were able to get out of it but at what cost I am not sure.

 

[ChattaAlley]

$60,000?????? THAT is the ridiculous part.