What do you think about picking teams in gym class?

[babyrich]

Dodgeball was humiliating and I cant spell or do math. Oh fond memories of youth.

 

[Becky2005]

Sure, I feel bad for any kid that feels humiliated. But seriously, even if teams were assigned randomly, wouldn't that same kid still be the one striking out/missing the volleyball/wandering around aimlessly with a hockey stick? Everyone is bad at something.

Talk about wandering around aimlessly...as was brought up earlier in this thread. Our Middle School DOES have the parents come in and spend a day shadowing their kids. They pretty much do expect the parents to participate in gym class. It was rather comical WITH us parents wandering around aimlessly at volleyball -- I was probably the worst offender because they have CHANGED the way volleyball is played. 1/2 the parents were on the court talking anyway -- lots of completely illegal moves were being thrown around too. I think we were all in stitches because many a time a wandering ball would just show up.

Now they didn't have us pick teams but if they did at least the parents I was around, none of us would have cared. I know in Social Studies there was a family fued type quiz game going on -- there was a buzzer up front & everything - yep, several of us parents were clueless as to what the answers. Pretty much 1/2 the stuff we did that day could have resulted in us parents being totally humilated (actually I think some of it was INTENDED that way with the students vs. parents ones). I know I totally screwed up an answer in English class in 8th grade. I was clueless & it was in front of everyone type of things.

 

[FireDancer]

So, by your opinion I should have told the second grader that came back from PE crying like her heart was breaking, asking me why no one liked her, to just suck it up and get over it?

No, you say getting picked last for a sporting event is not a critique of you value as a human being. Then you tell them to suck it up and move on.

 

[wdwfan16]

I hope the lady who is worried her 4 year olds head might pop off on BTMRR never lets him play dodge ball. Could you imagine the sight of his decapitated body putting balls on to see if they fit and his head goes whizzing by!!!

 

[Becky2005]

I remember dodge ball. I had a great arm (helps to have mostly male cousins and play sports with them), could catch and was slight faster than average. The poor kids who did not get the ball and could not catch would just stand against the back wall waiting to get hit. Then they could sit down.

Silly kids!!! I learned really early on, you stick your leg out there and get hit EARLY so you can be one of the first ones to go sit down. Then again, my dd usually was on opposite teams of her friends and would tell them "HIT ME first" The real competition started after all of us who know better and managed to get ourselves knocked out first on purpose.

 

[FergieTCat]

No, you say getting picked last for a sporting event is not a critique of you value as a human being. Then you tell them to suck it up and move on.

I admit, I have vehemently disagreed with you in the past, but that is the the best advice I've read in a long time.

 

[Auggietina]

No, you say getting picked last for a sporting event is not a critique of you value as a human being. Then you tell them to suck it up and move on.

Great advice

 

[Alesia]

No, you say getting picked last for a sporting event is not a critique of you value as a human being. Then you tell them to suck it up and move on.

Exactly.

 

[TheGoofster]

I'm sorry, but I think this whole issue is much more of a problem for the parents than it actually is for the kids.

Mom - "How dare they choose my poor little Billy last!!!!!"
Billy - "It's OK mom, it's not that big of a deal"
Mom - "What do you mean it's not a big deal? Don't you realize that this is going to scar you for life? That this is going to destroy your self confidence!!!"
Billy - "Actually it doesn't really bother me mom"
Mom - "Believe me Billy, this is going to just completely humiliate you"
and all poor Billy can think is - "Actually mom, you're humiliating me much more right now".

My kid is pretty good at basketball, and he would probably be chosen in the first 2 or 3 choices. Yet he stinks at soccer, and would probably be chosen in the last 1 or 2 choices. My thoughts are, "good", hopefully be chosen last in one even will help him both be humble in the areas where he is good (knowing he's not really all that special after all), and also help him appreciate the things that he is good at.

 

[Piglets Mommy]

LOL! I can still remember that red ball coming towards me!

I was, and still am, the most uncoordinated person ever to grace a gymnasium. I have no hand-to-eye coordination. I would have picked me last.

Sure, I feel bad for any kid that feels humiliated. But seriously, even if teams were assigned randomly, wouldn't that same kid still be the one striking out/missing the volleyball/wandering around aimlessly with a hockey stick? Everyone is bad at something.

I'm gonna have to fight you for that part in red. I am the most uncoordinated person to ever grace a gym.

I actually held my own in dodgeball though...all the more athletic kids wouuld go after each other, and I kind of laid low and flew under the radar...was often one of the last ones standing.

 

[FergieTCat]

I'm gonna have to fight you for that part in red. I am the most uncoordinated person to ever grace a gym.

I actually held my own in dodgeball though...all the more athletic kids wouuld go after each other, and I kind of laid low and flew under the radar...was often one of the last ones standing.

Join my new Facebook group:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=414227367872&ref=nf

 

[NotUrsula]

Sure, I feel bad for any kid that feels humiliated. But seriously, even if teams were assigned randomly, wouldn't that same kid still be the one striking out/missing the volleyball/wandering around aimlessly with a hockey stick? Everyone is bad at something.

It's not the being bad that hurts -- kids are not stupid enough not to know when they are not good at a game. What hurts is having the two team captains loudly argue over who is going to get stuck with you, and the names that you tend to get referred to by in the process. In my school it was always a popularity contest and never about who was good at what, and if you were unpopular no one wanted the taint of associating with you in any way.

Personally I think that in PE class the best way is random lottery by the teacher, always shaking out the teams differently. (The number system works well.) What this teaches kids is that if they want to win, then they have to help the weaker members of the team, even if they cannot personally stand those people.

As someone else noted, dodgeball is especially nasty when it comes to situations where the popular kids get to exclude the unpopular ones; it ends up being an exercise in sanctioned target shooting. IME, the goal is to hit as hard as you possibly can, because it's so much more fun if you can make the dweebs cry.

 

[asta]

I'm gonna have to fight you for that part in red. I am the most uncoordinated person to ever grace a gym.

I actually held my own in dodgeball though...all the more athletic kids wouuld go after each other, and I kind of laid low and flew under the radar...was often one of the last ones standing.

I think that I would win that fight for the most uncoordinated ever if I only had enough hand-eye coordination to ever win a fight. In middle school, as if always getting picked last wasn't embarrassing enough, the principal would make a point to come to my PE class and laugh at me because he thought my clumsy attempts were the funniest things ever. He made it known that this was his favorite way to take a break and he really thought my attempts at kick ball were the funniest things he had ever seen. I am not making this up and I am sorry for those of you that think I shouldn't be able to remember things like this.

 

[FireDancer]

I admit, I have vehemently disagreed with you in the past, but that is the the best advice I've read in a long time.

I'm pretty sure by this point I have been both vehemently opposed by and completely agreed with by just about everyone on these boards and in real life. As I become more and more libertarian this seems to increase.

Goes to show that everyone won't agree on everything but no one will agree on nothing.

 

[luvmy3]

Let's see:

Chorus and all sports: Kids try out for these things because they want to do them and know going in they may not make it. They are not forced to do it and if they know they aren't any good, chances are they are not going to try out.

AP classes: Kids are not left standing in front of the entire class knowing no one wants them in the class.



So, by your opinion I should have told the second grader that came back from PE crying like her heart was breaking, asking me why no one liked her, to just suck it up and get over it?

Nope, that is absolutely not what happened. The classroom teacher talked to the PE teacher and he changed the way the teams were chosen. And a happy little girl went to gym and played the game with the other kids. Problem easily solved. No one hurt, no one sacrificed. She still couldn't play basketball to save her life, but she didn't want to be good at the game, she just wanted to sit on the bench with the other kids and not be treated like a leper.

What you all are not understanding is that doing things this way is all fine and good when you have well rounded kids that are going to get picked for other things; but there are kids that don't get picked for anything. Why can't this one little bit of embarrassment be removed? Its not like its going to change PE class.

Chorus in our school is mandatory in 4th grade and you have to be critiqued in front of the whole class when you sing. Honors forms came home with every 6th student, they had to write an essay and my dd's teacher picked the top 5 essays and hung them up outside of her door. Kids are picked based on their ability for pretty much everything, and its not really a secret to the kids to see who excells at what and who does not. Is it sad when a little girl feels awful because she didn't get picked first, sure. Should you tell her to suck it up, yes, maybe not that way but she definitely needs to hear that sometimes we don't get picked first and that doesn't mean whatever it is she sees it as. I don't think preventing what is inevitably a part of life that these kids will have to deal with, is going to help them in the long run. You obviously see it differently.

 

[Handbag Lady]

It's called life, folks. Who I REALLY feel sorry for are the kids who's parents think it is their job to shield them from every little disappointment that comes their way. That is a lot more damaging then being picked last on a kickball team. Someone is ALWAYS going to be better than you, get over it.

Amen.

 

[hedge333]

I agree with others that said that this is a life prep thing. Life is not fair and sometimes people in the "real world" are mean, too. I think criticizing P.E./gym teachers is really in poor test. They are teachers just like any other teacher, they do the same amount of prep and the same amount of work. I am a high school teacher and have the utmost respect for our gym teachers, they generally have a difficult group of kids to work with. Also, this isn't really a guidance counselor's job. If you have a problem with teacher behavior, go to the administrator that handles personnel. Counselors have full plates between counseling, scheduling, and all of the federally and state mandated testing that schools are required to do. This is a personnel issue not a guidance issue.
As a high school teacher, I feel like kids (especially teenagers about to hit the real world) are too soft these days. Self-esteem and fairness are important but coping skills are more so.

 

[rgf207]

It's called life, folks. Who I REALLY feel sorry for are the kids who's parents think it is their job to shield them from every little disappointment that comes their way. That is a lot more damaging then being picked last on a kickball team. Someone is ALWAYS going to be better than you, get over it.

Could not have said it better myself.

I agree 100%

 

[Piglets Mommy]

Join my new Facebook group:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=414227367872&ref=nf

Done!

 

[traviesojmt]

No, you say getting picked last for a sporting event is not a critique of you value as a human being. Then you tell them to suck it up and move on.

LOL, this is my favorite advice thus far. We often tease my husband that when he dies his tombstone will say "Are you kidding me? Suck it up!!" Kids need to learn that we all have strengths and weaknesses and they are not defined by any one weakness or strength.

I just asked my 7th grade son what he thought about captains picking team. Keep in mind that his strength is academics over sports....Big Time. He shrugged and said "Who cares, someone has to be picked last. It isn't a big deal." He knows that when they play basketball, he will definitely be picked toward the end. He isn't good at it, but he is ok with that.

I am sorry but if the biggest worry your child has is being picked last at gym, I would have them sit down and count their blessings. There are way too many real problems out there to worry about. When my kids start their pity parties, we have them take real stock about the good and bad things going on in their lives and they usually realize that the good WAY outweighs the bad.