What do you think about picking teams in gym class?

[ols386]

I am so sick of hearing (or reading) "life is not fair" "stop shielding your kids" That is BS!

Of course life is not always fair and of course our kids will have to learn that, but it doesn't have to be by humiliation. Now, our PE teacher solves this by doing absolutely nothing but he is like a whole 'nother thread of issues; but IF he did do this I would bet my bottom dollar exactly which kids he would pick to be team leaders. It would either be the athletes or the "popular girls" (a name the little group calls themselves). These kids being normal 6th grade kids are going to either pick the other athletes because they want to win and its all about competition OR they pick their friends because its all about being popular. Neither of those choices teach anyone anything except maybe that to not get humiliated in gym class you have to be athletic or be one of the almighty "populars". And in small schools 9 out of 10 times these are the same kids that are picked for other things too.

Why is it that these kids never need to learn that "life is not fair"?

There is absolutely no reason to teach life lessons in PE. Its for physical exercise not playing "let's see who we can humiliate today".

No, I don't think it is BS. It is a reality that life is not fair, and there are some parents who do shield their children, to the point where it is not healthy for the children.

Regarding the highlighted sentence, I think you basically answered your own question...life is not fair.

 

[starrzone]

LOL, this is my favorite advice thus far. We often tease my husband that when he dies his tombstone will say "Are you kidding me? Suck it up!!"

My father basically has the same philosophy; his own father died in front of him on the kitchen floor when Dad was in his late teens, so he told me "Anything that happened after that, I just deal with". Basement flooded? That can be fixed. Mice invasion in the house? They're just animals! Got an F? Get help so you can do better next time. He's an awesome father and I hope my kids have one like him someday .

 

[luvsJack]

See I wouldn't say that. I stunk up the gym something fierce so I deserved to be picked last.

When I got to high school I joined the track team and found out I was good-so good I set records.

So the statement bolded above isn't completely accurate.

Maybe not for you, but it is for others.

 

[luvsJack]

Exactly. Even with teams being randomly assigned, it's pretty easy to figure out who's good at sports and who isn't.

It is not about being good at sports, its not about others knowing whether the kid is good at sports. It about that feeling of standing there while the other kids argue over whose team is stuck with you and wanting to sink in the floor while its going on.

After the little girl that I mentioned before came to me and the classroom teacher (I was the assistant), we went and watched what went on in PE before the teacher said anything to the PE teacher. This is exactly what was happening.

 

[wdwfan16]

It is not about being good at sports, its not about others knowing whether the kid is good at sports. It about that feeling of standing there while the other kids argue over whose team is stuck with you and wanting to sink in the floor while its going on.

After the little girl that I mentioned before came to me and the classroom teacher (I was the assistant), we went and watched what went on in PE before the teacher said anything to the PE teacher. This is exactly what was happening.

We were told to just pick and had to do it quickly. No arguing over who had to take them we had to pick until all were gone.

 

[luvsJack]

No, you say getting picked last for a sporting event is not a critique of you value as a human being. Then you tell them to suck it up and move on.

That isn't what was done. I am not the child's parent and wasn't about to tell her to suck it up or anything of the sort. The teacher made sure a change was made. The child was happy, the class still played the game and didn't even realize why a change was made, all was well and the PE teacher still reached the same goal he would have with the kids picking the teams.

A 7 year old does not understand that not being picked was not about not being liked (especially when it was blatantly obvious that the kids were picking who they liked). She didn't know the difference in "we want to win" and "I don't like you".

Besides IT IS NOT A SPORTING EVENT!! It is a class. To learn about physical activity and to learn to enjoy exercise (which was not being accomplished when a child went back to class every day upset and/or crying).

 

[themilesfamily]

I think allowing a child to be the last one picked because they overweight, unpopular, uncoordinated makes kids feel bad and promotes low self-esteem. There's no reason for it. Just have the gym teachers assign the teams and let that be that.

As for those who say this is a prep for real life -- that's ridiculous. Never in all my adult years have I encountered the mean-spirited, Lord of the Flies atmosphere that I did in grade school gym class.

There was nothing about being humiliated and picked last in gym class that had a positive impact on my adult years. Trust me. Nothing.

 

[luvsJack]

It's not the being bad that hurts -- kids are not stupid enough not to know when they are not good at a game. What hurts is having the two team captains loudly argue over who is going to get stuck with you, and the names that you tend to get referred to by in the process. In my school it was always a popularity contest and never about who was good at what, and if you were unpopular no one wanted the taint of associating with you in any way.

Personally I think that in PE class the best way is random lottery by the teacher, always shaking out the teams differently. (The number system works well.) What this teaches kids is that if they want to win, then they have to help the weaker members of the team, even if they cannot personally stand those people.

As someone else noted, dodgeball is especially nasty when it comes to situations where the popular kids get to exclude the unpopular ones; it ends up being an exercise in sanctioned target shooting. IME, the goal is to hit as hard as you possibly can, because it's so much more fun if you can make the dweebs cry.

ITA! Especially the bolded statement.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I on the other hand, was always the first girl picked. And I can tell you, that being one of the first ones picked and having to choose that last person, it wasn't because they were bad in sports that we sighed about, usually the kid had a bad attitude and ruined the fun.

Did you ever stop to think that kid had that bad attitude and ruined the fun BECAUSE she/he was always the last one picked? And, if you don't mind my asking - at what point during the picking DID you choose the poor athletes?

 

[kaytieeldr]

Frankly, there's a lot that goes on the work world that's pretty dang humiliating,

Admittedly, sometimes, sure. But there's much LESS of it going on in the working world because if ultimately the "pet" can't perform or can't get the project done, they don't get to stay in the job.

and maybe being picked last in gym class once in awhile

If it actually were "once in a while", there'd be no point to this thread. It's not. It's the same unathletic or unpopular students chosen last (or stuck on a team by the teacher because NOBODY chose them) EVERY time.

Try twelve years of that. Let us know how your self-esteem is doing.

 

[luvsJack]

I admit, I have vehemently disagreed with you in the past, but that is the the best advice I've read in a long time.

Great advice

Exactly.

It wouldn't be bad advice for a child that could understand or even believe that it wasn't about being liked or disliked by the other kids.

The child believed that no other child in her class liked her. Sorry but when a child is that upset and continues to be that upset every day she goes to PE, telling her to "suck it up" would have been heartless.

I said before and I say again, I wouldn't exactly go storming in the school over this. But, it shouldn't be an issue. The PE teacher should know better.

 

[kaytieeldr]

The point is they don't want to be standing there while the the team captains argue over who has be unlucky and take Kyle the Klutz on their team.

It's okay. You don't need to use fake names. You can say "Kaytie the Klutz" if you want. I know I'm an uncoordinated, unathletic klutz. Everybody who knows anything at all about me knows it as well (anybody else here ever fall out a door, or break a rib by leaning over the arm of a chair? no? finally - an area where I excel!)

 

[kaytieeldr]

Yes. All 4 of mine are school-aged and apparently this has never bothered my kids because they haven't felt the need to bring it up.

I never told my mom. Doesn't mean it didn't happen.

 

[cheermom1]

i haven't read all the responses but I don;t think it is a big deal. This got me to thinking about when i was in school and I have to say I know I was picked last on a lot of things but I can't seem to even remember who the captains were. Plus I never gave much thought to this until I read it here and I have to say that most people will not remember much of it or think much about it when they get older. This should not be an issue. We are making our kids not know or understand disappointment which is really sad b/c they are going to grow up being very fragile adults and not be able to cope in the real world with out breaking down when someone says the slightest little negative thing to them. I feel so bad for these kids now a days not being able to cope.

 

[luvsJack]

It's okay. You don't need to use fake names. You can say "Kaytie the Klutz" if you want. I know I'm an uncoordinated, unathletic klutz. Everybody who knows anything at all about me knows it as well (anybody else here ever fall out a door, or break a rib by leaning over the arm of a chair? no? finally - an area where I excel!)

i know just how you feel. Sometimes even I wonder "how the heck did I manage to do this?" Having three kids in sports that think mom should get out and practice with does not help either. Usually I just laugh and say, "yeah, right". They are sweet though they tend to always pick me first!

 

[Rora]

The good kids have always been picked first and they will continue to do so in life. It may seem unfair to the nonathletic kids but life isn't fair. When grades are given out the smarter kids will have the advantage. When it comes time to date the better looking kids will have an advantage. It all even out in the end.

I don't like the 'everything has to be equal' mentality that seems to be prevalent all of a sudden. It is like awarding all the teams a trophy or not keeping score. There are winners and losers in life, that is how it is. There are people who are better at other things then others, that is how it is.

I have no problem with the better kids getting picked first whether it is more athletic kids for the sports teams or smarter kids for the academic teams. In the real world everything isn't equal. You succeed or fail on your merits and it is never too early to start learning that lesson.

I agree 100%.

I was certainly picked last for sports teams (no athletic ability here) but I excelled in academics. Was I hurt and embarrassed by being picked towards the end? Sure! Am I a fully functioning adult who didn't even think about the pain it caused me until I read this thread? Yep.

It must be hard to see your children suffer but it's just PE class. As long as they aren't being bullied/harassed/etc for being picked last, I don't see it as a big deal.

 

[luvsJack]

We were told to just pick and had to do it quickly. No arguing over who had to take them we had to pick until all were gone.

Even that would have been better than what was happening.

Even if everyone thinks this is such a great life's lesson. Why do some of you think it is so necessary?

I am not talking about shielding a child from every little hurt and every little thing that may disappointment in life. But there is no need not to prevent this one.

In our schools the children do not read out loud in class. Why? Because the children that cannot read as well do not have to be embarrassed. Why is this important? Why not just tell them to suck it up? Because child experts agreed that if a child is embarrassed by reading out loud they stop reading. So the kids read to the teacher, either at her desk or theirs. Do the kids still know who can and cannot read? Yes. But its not pushed in anyone's face. Its not putting anyone's lack of ability on display.

So, is this not ok with those that think they should just learn that life is not fair?

 

[kaytieeldr]

Being picked last for a team? Right of passage. Part of life. Part of growing up.

Okay, somebody needs to clarify this thread for me; not only am I a known nonathletic klutz, it's starting to look more and more as if I'm not as intelligent as I always thought I was.

Are we talking about TEAMS and the like - organized competive or performing groups, where aspirants' abilities are generally expected to meet or exceed certain standards and whose long-term (school year, season, etc.) participation is determined by tryouts and judged by - ideally - qualified adults?

Or are we talking about physical education CLASSES - during which, up to three times a week, the so-called teachers absolve themselves of their duties by choosing several (generally the most talented) students to then choose their own teams, often leaving the SAME few students standing in embarrassed silence while the team 'captains' argue over who gets stuck with the poor players, klutzes, etc?

Yes, there's a HUGE difference.

 

[kaytieeldr]

As I said earlier, I was one of the people always picked last or near the end, and yes, I have school-aged children. My oldest is a wonderful swimmer but very slow and uncoordinated out of the water and yes, often gets picked last. However, she is often picked first or among the first for academic/review type games.

Respectfully, though - academic/review type games arent't the normal classroom activity. Physical activity - frequently involving team games - IS the norm for physical education classes.

For those of you who indicate that some kids aren't good at reading, or at public speaking, or at math, or science - true. But in those cases, the teachers work with the students to improve skills. How frequently - and be completely truthful - does that happen in a gym class?

To the best of my recollection, never; so I'll concede to rarely. Instead, the SAME period-by-period 'team'-selecting procedure has been in existence for YEARS. It's been that long since I've been out of school. There's extra help available for reading or math - but for gym? Nope. You just get to spend your entire school life being picked last.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I would never expect to be rewarded for poor performance but I know my lack of coordination was never improved by public embarrassment

and