What do you think about cheating/affairs?

[lacrosse_lady72]

OK, I'm an old fashioned kind of guy, but when I married my wife 24 years ago, I married her for keeps. The day she put the ring on my finger meant we were married to each other, and there would not be any need for an outside fling. The ring has never left my finger, and my love for her has never left my heart. Yeah, some days are not as much fun or exciting as others. That's part of a relationship and life in general.

For those who feel like they need a little extra something in their life, just remember, it's called cheating for a reason.

I feel like some of you are just acting completely and unnecessarily nasty toward the situation. And although I am on the boat of cheating being wrong wrong wrong........ there's no need to be a-holes.

luvgoing2disney, that was a very well written and beautiful response. I hope the best for you and your wife for the next 24 years as well.

 

[daisax]

Well, sure he's charming and nice... he's working for a little action!

Even if your friend is shallow enough to set character aside, she should go into this with eyes wide open to the fact that she's not "special" and he's doubtless slept with any number of other women, who have slept with any number of other men of varying degrees of slimeball-itude and the associated cooties that go with it.

 

[Buckalew11]

Well, sure he's charming and nice... he's working for a little action!

Even if your friend is shallow enough to set character aside, she should go into this with eyes wide open to the fact that she's not "special" and he's doubtless slept with any number of other women, who have slept with any number of other men of varying degrees of slimeball-itude and the associated cooties that go with it.

That was my thought also. Who else has he charmed? I mean really, this is a game for some people.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Some like to cheat and they're just losers where relationships are concerned. Some get caught up in it and they're just too weak to say, "No, this isn't right" when push comes to shove. Some are driven to it.

I don't know this guy's situation, but he sounds like a loser.

 

[luvgoing2disney]

I feel like some of you are just acting completely and unnecessarily nasty toward the situation. And although I am on the boat of cheating being wrong wrong wrong........ there's no need to be a-holes.

luvgoing2disney, that was a very well written and beautiful response. I hope the best for you and your wife for the next 24 years as well.

Well if the next 24 go by as quickly as the first 24 years did, we'll be planning a golden anniversary before we know it. Might as well celebrate it at Disney!

 

[Camicar]

I think the part that has my friend confused the most is how charming and nice this guy is.

Liars, cheats, and sociopaths are always charming -- that's how they get away with this crud.

I can tell you the person who screwed me over the worst in life was not only nice and charming and religious (he was a pastor), but he turned out to have a whole secret life including a meth addiction. He thought I knew it and set out to ruin me IN CASE I told the truth (of which I was ignorant). And yet most folks still think he's nice and charming and religious -- even the people who KNOW the truth about what he did to me still have trouble believing and acting on that truth because 'he's so nice..." That's how they get away with it!

 

[agnes!]

If this male (not a 'man') was free of entanglements (like *marriage*?), would the casual sex or even just the possibility of all that have the allure that it does now?

If he does do "it", then he is endangering his spouse's health by bringing the remains from his flings home with him and not telling her what's going on. If I somehow found out about this and unfortunately knew what was going on, I would cut off all contact, I don't care how good a "friend" he supposedly is.

And I would probably tell the wife and lose her as a friend, but I'd rather have her be mad at me and her NOT have an STD, NOT have HIV.

If he wants to have casual relationships, then he should get a divorce and move out so he can do whatever he wants.

agnes!

 

[Precchio]

Liars, cheats, and sociopaths are always charming -- that's how they get away with this crud.

I was thinking about that...Remember the BTK killer, how he had this secret life and on the surface was a nice, church going man? Or Scott Peterson, who everyone said was very charming, totally roped Amber Frey in?

Not that this guy is a murderer, but still.

 

[wvjules]

I know alot of charming and nice people, that doesn't make me want to get naked and hump their legs.

That is so tag-worthy!

 

[Cool-Beans]

The jerks always try to be nice and charming. And they always use the old, "My wife doesn't understand me" thing. I can't believe it works, but it must or they wouldn't keep trotting that out.

I remember the first time I heard it. I called my mom up and told her about it. I'd heard about it, but was SHOCKED - really shocked - that men actually did it.

The longer you're married, the more of it you hear. Eventually, you see it coming and can just direct the conversation elswhere before they even get rolling with it.

I just want to grab the women who listen to that and believe it and shake them silly. Some women can be SO dumb.

 

[NMAmy]

I'm sure if he had an affair, his wife wouldn't be thinking he was "charming and nice."

For me, someone who cheats is lying scum. There's no romanticizing it. He's no different than any other person who cheats and his wife probably does understand him.

 

[TwinsinCA]

First of all I do not believe he loves his wife. You simply do not cheat on someone you LOVE. You just don't.

2nd -- he's the scum of the earth along with all kinds of other adjectives already used in this thread. As far as betrayals go this is just about the the worst of the worst. I hope he rots somewhere nice and toasty.


OP -- I have a friend who in a similar situation and it is honestly affecting our friendship because I think the guy is scum, she is foolish to be involved in anyway, and I am not keeping my thoughts to myself. I feel so sorry for the wife in this whole situation.

 

[Darsa]

Lying scum; that's a perfect description of anyone who cheats. And anyone who tries to justify it is even worse. There are a few things in this world that disgust me more than a filthy cheater.

something fun and convenient on the side

That revolts me. When the "side" becomes pregnant, or contracts an STD... how much fun and convenience will there be then? Ugh.

 

[Terry36]

 

[bumcat]

To one of the above posters, I can't reply to PM's yet, but no, it's someone in real life who we work with. I think the part that has my friend confused the most is how charming and nice this guy is.

Ted Bundy was nice and charming when he wanted something.

 

[Magic Mom]

I know alot of charming and nice people, that doesn't make me want to get naked and hump their legs.

BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA OMG that was so funny!

 

[LeCras]

Just subscribing...want to see if anyone will post saying they think cheating is a-ok...

OP, exactly what responses were you expecing..?



Charlotte

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

I'd say don't let the door hit you on the *ss on the way out.

actually, I used to work with a guy who was DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. There's no two ways about it -- he was. There wasn't a living breathing woman on earth who would think otherwise.

he lived with a woman -- a committed relationship. And she traveled for work during the week. And he apparently had this down to a science......he'd have his fun all week.....you get my drift. After working with him for a few months, we could all hear his phone conversations and it was apparent that e was having his fun with different people on different days during the week and then on the weekend, he was with his girlfriend. Fast forward to the next week......different people still.........on and on.

He lost his "charming-ness" real fast after we all figured out his style.

 

[MinnieMe87]

I'm not going to really comment on the man you are speaking about. I'd like to know WHY your friend would do this? Is she looking for something fun and exciting to break out of the normal everyday boredom of her life? Is she that desperate to have someone in her life? If you are really her friend, you need to speak with her about this. Nothing good could possibly come from this.

What she said!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What do you think about someone who "loves" their spouse and family, but is looking for something fun and convenient on the side? A once in a while friends with benefits, you might say. ...

I wanted to add that this is not the first time he has done this.

If he gives you that line and you fall for it you are naive.

He probably has other "fun bags" well placed somewhere else.