What do you spend on/give your nieces and nephews for Christmas ? vent and question.

[poohfriend77]

We spend $50 per kid (but we only have 1 niece and 2 nephews on DH's side, and none yet on my side). One nephew's birthday is Dec. 30, so we always have a separate gift for him (they do the same for my DD, whose birthday is in Jan) We see them sometime between Christmas and New Year's. We open Christmas presents before dinner, then have cake and birthday presents after dinner, to separate the events a bit. We have never done "combined" gifts, except SIL's gift to DD last year, but it was very expensive and the PERFECT gift for her... so no complaints from her!

My first thought is that your sib honestly forgot to hand your DD16 her envelope, or it got lost in the shuffle or something. I was going to suggest you ask straight-out if they forgot, or if you should be digging through trash to find it mixed in with wrapping paper. But after reading the thread, sadly, it does sound like it was probably intentional.

Hugs to your DD, and maybe next year talk about a spending limit, or suggest a name exchange (although that may not work if no everyone has kids ) ahead of time. Or skip the whole thing next year, and use the money you would have spent for charity.

 

[disneychrista]

Honestly, I don't. My nephews are grown 19 - 24 now. But I think I stopped when they didn't seem to appreciate anything that I gave them, about 10 years ago.

 

[Planogirl]

I don't see my nephews and niece often enough to know what they want and that makes it hard when they get older. I sent gift cards from Amazon or Barnes & Noble and they seem to like those.

I feel bad for those born close to the Christmas season. My grandmother's birthday was on December 24 and because of that my mother always had a little family party just for her. I always thought that that was such a nice idea.

 

[chellt]

I have 10 nieces and nephews and no kids of my own. I spend about $30 on each. I could afford more, but they get PLENTY from their parents. I also remind my sister (who complains about it and compares all the kids presents) that the nights at the movies, fun parks and shopping trips I drop hundreds of dollars on throughout the year, factors into my decision. I love spending time with them more than buying toys and electronics that are tossed aside a week after Christmas.

 

[Mel522]

My friend's birthday is on Christmas. Her family celebrates Christmas normally and have a small and simple birthday cake for her. She only got Christmas presents. Then a couple months later, they throw her an un-birthday party. She gets a larger cake, the party, and her birthday presents.

As for my two nieces. I spend around $50 on each for their birthday and around $100 for Christmas. Growing up I never got a present, money, or even a card from my aunts/uncles. Neither did any of my cousins. I have 62 cousins on my mom's side. My mom and her siblings agreed to not give gifts to each others children because of how big our family is.

I think the best thing to do is to have a conversation. Agree upon a dollar amount that everyone will stick to. My friends and I agreed on $20-25 because one of use makes very little money. As I said earlier, my mom's family agreed on no gifts.

 

[Princess_Meghan <3]

I know what you're getting at- your daughter probably feels like she was 'skipped over,' because everyone got Christmas gifts except her.

My dad's girlfriend had her birthday last week- as a kid, her birthday and Christmas were always combined for everything. She didn't like it at all. We try really hard now to make sure we celebrate her birthday and Christmas separately.

 

[scrapquitler]

In My family we do about $20- $25 for the neices and nephews at Christmas, until they graduate from high school. For birthdays we do a similar gift, if there is a party. I really don't care if people don't give my kids gifts.

 

[tink20]

I have 6 on my side and 2 on DH's side. Out of the 8, 3 are still young and get presents, the older ones get $20 cash and some candy. I spend around $20 on the little ones.

I do get what your saying though. My sister's 2 kids' B-days are in Nov and Dec, so at Thanksgiving, I give them both a gift or card with money (they live out of town, so only see them a few times throughout the yr) but when my kids B-days come around, they don't even get a phone call. I don't worry about it anymore, it used to bother me.

Also, my brother and one of my sisters didn't get DD a card or anything for her HS graduation this past May, it kind of hurt my feelings. I gave my nephew $50 (it was 6 yrs ago, so I guess my brother doesn't remember) my niece (brother's daughter) will graduate this May. I am still going to give her some money and a card, its not her fault that my brother and sil, didn't think about my DD. It makes me happy to give and I love my nieces and nephews, the only reason it bothers me, is because I think it may hurt my kids feelings that they were not thought of.

 

[cornflake]

In our family after your Sweet 16 - birthday/Christmas presents stop. I know how you feel with a birthday near Christmas as DD's is a week before.That being said it doesn't stop us from getting niece/nephews a little something for birthdays/Christmas BUT I am not upset if mine do not get anything after that time.

I can see relative whom I feel our really well-off but to be honest, I don't know what their bank accounts really are saying. I never assume.

Sorry your feelings were hurt. If you feel bad for your daughter, do something nice for her. I am sure she will be okay. My children see what happens but are okay with it. Plus I am sure they will be more aware as they get older.

Happy Holidays.

From extended relatives or from everyone? That seems so harsh if it's everyone!

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

From extended relatives or from everyone? That seems so harsh if it's everyone!

Nieces/Nephews, Cousins, Aunt/Uncles stop at 16. Immediate family we exchange. Plus my kids still get my sister a gift for Christmas as she is their Godmother.

My husband comes from family of 7 children. The average number of children per family is 4. They all have large families. There is no way we could continue with everyone after 16.

 

[pyrxtc]

I have nieces and nephews that range in age from 16 mos to 24 years. We used to get everyone a gift, probably around $20. When there got to be alot of them we decided to pick names and put a $30 limit. We decided last year to stop giving gifts all together since it really just became a gift card exchange and felt more like an obligation instead of giving a meaningful gift. I did get the babies something this year because I did feel bad that they never really had a chance to participate in the gift giving since they weren't here yet.
I can understand a family deciding to stop giving at a certain age, and for yours that may be 16. I think it would have been a good idea to discuss it with everyone though so it would be known.

Then they shouldn't have done anything for our oldest who is 18. My DD just asked me about it too. I texted my sister. She just got skipped over. She got the same amount from them for her birthday gift as her siblings got for xmas.

It's not mandatory and I don't expect gifts from them. I do expect them to give all of them something and not skip over one.

 

[bookgirl]

I only have the two nephews whom I actually helped raise. I spend a couple hundred or more on them. Plus we have sort of adopted one of thier friends and we bought for him and his little brother last year and this year as well so add 100-200 on them combined.

So probably around $500 this year on the twins and bumpt that up to $700 with our add on boys.

I will say though that most of that is for clothes, they are 13 and attend a non uniform private school so we do buy very nice name brand clothes for them and that stuff adds up fast. The only non clothes items they got are new iphone/alarm clock docks and adapters for their i5 and one of them asked for a specific backpack.

I'm the first to admit they are spoiled and the epitomy of over commercialized youth, but when they are not annoying the crap out of me they are my sweet boys who love me (even when they avoid a kiss ) and remember tell me thank you and I love you sometimes even without prompting. I would never skip one on a gift. I don't always buy the same or even at the same time outside of birthday or christmas, but holiday gifts are never uneven.

My best friends birthday is the day after christmas, I have never given her a combined present, ever. We don't exchange anymore.

Luckily the twins birthday is almost 6 months apart from christmas however they are twins and that brings up all kinds of present type dilemas.

 

[design_mom]

We spend about $25 for each for birthdays and christmas for our nieces and nephews. I have two nieces with birthdays close to Christmas (Dec 22 and Jan 6.) Depending on what they want that year, I've been known to shuffle budget around (a $30ish gift and a $20ish gift, rather than two $25 gifts), but there are always separate gifts for birthday and Christmas... and the total budget is always equal.

 

[joviroxx]

I am one of 4 siblings. Between us we have 10 kids, from 4-15 years old. Many years ago we decided that our kids got way too many gifts so we instituted a kind of gift exchange. The four of us pick 2 kids names from a hat. Each year a 2 different families get 3 kids(since there are 10). We put a $50 range on the gift, So each kid gets 1 gift. Each of the 4 of us only buys 2-3 gifts each year.

It works out great and I would rather get 2 good gifts than 9 smaller ones.

 

[Mom_Rides]

We have 2 nieces (11 & 2) and 5 nephews (10, 9, 8, 6 & 2). We spend between $20-$25 on them for birthdays and Christmas.

My one uncle (who is more like a brother to me) still buys me (and DH) gifts for my birthday and Christmas. And we buy for him and my aunt as well as their two adult children. I don't know how long it will continue for but we are very close with them so I can't see it ending any time soon.

 

[Patience]

One of my sisters has 4 sons and 1 daughter, all but one who are over 18. My other sister has 2 sons under the age of 18. My husband's brothers have 1 son under 18 and 1 daughter, an adult. Three of my nieces and nephews are now married and we now also have 4 great nieces and nephews and another on the way. The gift giving was getting crazy. So here's what we have decided to do. The adults (i.e., anyone over 18 who is graduated from high school) will participate in a gift exchange by bringing a man's gift or a woman's gift depending upon whether you are a man or a woman. The adults will bring one gift and leave with a different gift. The kids will draw names among themselves. I suppose it's not "fair" that I bought for my nephews and nieces and their spouses until they were well into their twenties and now my oldest daughter who is 18 will only recieve one gift but I had to do something as the Christmas list just kept growing and growing, both in number and in expense.

 

[Kitzka]

Gifts stop when you hit about 25 in our family. It's a lot the akward as I have one cousin who is 27 but her younger sister is 20. But I still give the younger one gifts.

 

[CdnCarrie]

We stop giving gifts at age 18.

In our family there are couple nieces and nephews with December/January birthdays and I would never not give them something for Christmas!

One niece turned 18 last week and for the first (and only!) time we are giving her a combo gift - cash! that's all she wanted so we gave her what we give for both birthday/Christmas in a card and wrote Merry Xmas/Happy Birthday.

Usually we give $25-$35 on each niece nephew.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

We only buy for my side of the family. We try to keep it at about 25 a piece although sometimes we go over of course.

We don't always give b-day gifts.

 

[okeydokey]

Do your siblings buy your other kids birthday gifts every year as well as Christmas gifts? If so, then your daughter is always a gift short, which I think is a mean thing for an aunt and uncle to do.