What Do You REALLY Think About Guests Bringing Food?

[TipsyTraveler]

Anybody who doesn't bother to do this has just given up!

In that case, 73% of us have given up according to the authority that is Ocean Spray’s consumer research division.

https://parade.com/614308/alison-ashton/survey-the-great-cranberry-sauce-debate/

 

[ronandannette]

In that case, 73% of us have given up according to the authority that is Ocean Spray’s consumer research division.

https://parade.com/614308/alison-ashton/survey-the-great-cranberry-sauce-debate/

Agreed but can we also agree that the Southwestern cooks that add chipotle are just trying a little too hard?

 

[lisaviolet]

It was an intentional choice. I’m not trying to start an international incident.

Your Thanksgiving foods are definitely not “mostly identical” to ours if you’re not eating sweet potato sludge and green bean cream-of-crap casserole. Does your cranberry sauce look like it came straight out of a dog food can by any chance?

I have never been honoured with it at my table but green bean casserole does indeed live up here.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I have never been honoured with it at my table but green bean casserole does indeed live up here.

My sympathies. Life is harsher in The Great White North than I imagined.

 

[Karin1984]

So... for those who said 'Always bring something, even when I am asked not to'. Does this go for every event you go to, or just Thanksgiving?
And is it just at events, or also when you just go to someone for coffee and chat.

 

[disykat]

I never bring unsolicited food, but always ask and happily bring something when my offer is accepted. The people I do holidays with always do potluck, but on occasion people like to put on a meal with a specific menu and do the cooking themselves.

 

[Metro West]

I voted never bring food unless asked. I mean...the host should make it clear what they are doing so there really shouldn't be a problem....right?

 

[ronandannette]

I have never been honoured with it at my table but green bean casserole does indeed live up here.

Regional thing!

 

[ronandannette]

I never bring unsolicited food, but always ask and happily bring something when my offer is accepted. The people I do holidays with always do potluck, but on occasion people like to put on a meal with a specific menu and do the cooking themselves.

Your etiquette is impeccable.

 

[evilmommie]

I ALWAYS bring a hostess gift (wine, flowers, or home trinket) when invited to a dinner/lunch/brunch, etc. I've planned/thrown plenty of dinners/lunches/holiday events where people have shown up with unsolicited items. I'm gracious and find place on the table for whatever they have brought along with them.

When I was much younger, one of the first times I hosted a dinner party one of my neighbors brought over some fresh berries or something like that. Didn't go with what was on the menu and dessert was covered. I left them in my kitchen, thinking we would enjoy them for breakfast the next day. She brought them out of my kitchen and put them out on the table. I made a mental note from that day forward to ask my guests when they show up with unsolicited food, if they'd like to share it with the guests or if it's for later.

The camaraderie of my friends and family far out weighs whether they bring food that wasn't planned for....at the end of the day, that's a blip on the radar vs the warm memories of sharing time together.

 

[NYCgrrl]

True story: Former DIL’s aunt brought an unsolicited sack of MacDonald’s to my house for an Easter dinner beng hosted at my home. That was thirteen years ago and she hasn’t been invited since.
While sisters and I laugh our butts off at the reminisce we are divided on her reasoning for doing so but unified on its effect.

 

[brockash]

What on earth would the motivation for this have been? In this case I find the guest's actions particularly rude. I also note with interest that one poll response says they bring something even when specifically asked not to. Why do you do that?

Because they feel rude going empty handed.

 

[fab1976]

This casserole was something I only ever heard of on the DIS. It is totally not a thing in Canada, nor to my knowledge is the sweet potato sludge baked with the marshmallows on top.

My husband, Toronto born and raised, had sweet potato casserole just like that. I refused to make it when I hear about it lol

 

[Nora03]

I make a sweet potato dish that is more on the savoury side - cooked and sliced potatoes topped with crumbled bacon, lemon juice,etc.. My daughter loves and makes the green bean casserole using frozen French style green beans (Canadian). I once asked my former son in law to bring his delicious Caesar salad. He took over my kitchen when I needed to be in there doing last minute prep. He needed to wash and cut the lettuce, and make the dressing. Needed my food processor and ingredients he had forgotten. It worked - I never asked him again!

 

[Karin1984]

Because they feel rude going empty handed.

Yeah, that's why here in NL we stick to bringing wine, flowers or chocolates (after dinner stuff to accompany a cup of coffee) for the host. If you bring a dish with you to dinner you are more likely to insult the host because you would prefer your own food over what was made. I do not do dinner parties, but if I would and you came with your own dish, to me your subtext is telling me I can't cook.

If we have a 'we all bring a dish'-dinner, that will be very clear in the invite, and usually a whatsapp group / email conversation etc. who is going to bring what to make sure you don't go to dinner with 5 green salads, a potato salad and a chocolate cake.

 

[ronandannette]

I make a sweet potato dish that is more on the savoury side - cooked and sliced potatoes topped with crumbled bacon, lemon juice,etc.. My daughter loves and makes the green bean casserole using frozen French style green beans (Canadian). I once asked my former son in law to bring his delicious Caesar salad. He took over my kitchen when I needed to be in there doing last minute prep. He needed to wash and cut the lettuce, and make the dressing. Needed my food processor and ingredients he had forgotten. It worked - I never asked him again!

Was your former SIL Ray or Robert Barone?

 

[TipsyTraveler]

When I was much younger, one of the first times I hosted a dinner party one of my neighbors brought over some fresh berries or something like that. Didn't go with what was on the menu and dessert was covered. I left them in my kitchen, thinking we would enjoy them for breakfast the next day. She brought them out of my kitchen and put them out on the table. I made a mental note from that day forward to ask my guests when they show up with unsolicited food, if they'd like to share it with the guests or if it's for later.

I’d have been making a different kind of mental note. One that involved her sitting at home eating berries by herself during future dinner parties.

 

[evilmommie]

I’d have been making a different kind of mental note. One that involved her sitting at home eating berries by herself during future dinner parties.

I know…right?! We were neighbors/friends for 15 yrs and then she went off the deep end. Thankfully, she moved.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

We have gatherings on a fairly regular basis... that's fine if guests bring food. The Seinfeld connection being, the taking it back home with them.

We had some kind of a thing last summer... some friends brought something (I cannot remember what it was). Later on I wanted some more of it, I was looking in the refrigerator for it. DH was like "yea, they took the leftovers home with them". I was like I couldn't help but think of the Costanzas

 

[TipsyTraveler]

We have gatherings on a fairly regular basis... that's fine if guests bring food. The Seinfeld connection being, the taking it back home with them.

We had some kind of a thing last summer... some friends brought something (I cannot remember what it was). Later on I wanted some more of it, I was looking in the refrigerator for it. DH was like "yea, they took the leftovers home with them". I was like I couldn't help but think of the Costanzas

See… I’d want people to take their leftovers home with them. Don’t leave me with a bunch of food that doesn’t fit in my fridge and dishes I’m responsible for washing and returning. I probably didn’t like your food all that much anyway — get it out of here. (Not your food personally, @Kathryn Merteuil. I’m sure everything you make is delicious.)