I have always considered group travel to be like an on rails section of a game and sadly fake. Mum gave me an alternation either go in a group to South Africa or not go. I chose to not go. Never understood group travel. I enjoy planning am I an idiot ? I consider Cruises to be the same. I am trying really hard to understand such travel but am failing? any help
Ok first of all I have to say that reading that you gave up going to Africa which is on my bucket list and slated for my 50th birthday in 2019 is making me want to do this to the computer

Now that I got that off my chest, please go ask mum if she'd like to adopt a daughter

Thank you
I think the main reason you are having a hard time understanding is your refusal to try it

One of the philosophies that I try to live by is not to judge what I think about something before I try it. I keep an open mind, try it and then decide whether it is for me or not. When we went to Scotland for the first time I vowed I would at least taste haggis despite how gross is sounded. Ground sheep's organs, mixed with oatmeal and cooked in the stomach of a sheep

I seriously thought, I'd taste it, gag, possibly throw up in my mouth a little and be done with it. Imagine my surprise when haggis suddenly shot up to getting on the list of my top 5 favorite foods!
I also thought I might not enjoy cruises very much. My first two cruises were with family on Carnival and
Royal Caribbean on itineraries in the Caribbean which held no interest for me. My mom loves cruises and I didn't see the point of them, kind of like you

After those two cruises which I thought were ok, I had figured cruises probably weren't for me. Then we became DVC members and thanks to the DIS I saw that it was common for people to "get to know each other" before a cruise on the cruise meet threads and get excited about their cruises, discuss what to expect and what to do while waiting for their sail date. So, we decided to go on a DVC member
Disney cruise. It was awesome! On that cruise and some of the ones that followed we met people who have become lifelong friends. There is now a group of about 30 of us that keep in daily contact on a private FB page and we plan cruises to see each other, get together in WDW or DLR and every other year or so just meet up in somewhere the Midwest (central to every one) to hang out for a long weekend. A bunch of us are all going to Aulani in Hawaii next year too and I will be officiating the vow renewal for one couple who's marriage I just officiated last month. One of those friends had her house burn down to the ground and the whole group took up a collection so she could cover the insurance deductible. She lost her entire collection of the Outlander series signed by Diana Gabaldon. Those who have seen my Scotland ABD TR will understand the significance of that

This lady was the one who made me read Outlander, was the reason I ever went to Scotland in the first pace and thanks to all of that, was the reason I started my travel hacking hobby so I wouldn't have to pay for airfare

I contacted the author, she told me what to do in order to replace the series and have her sign them all and then I shipped them to the place they were renting while the house was being re-built. I would have never met all of these people, who are way more than just "cruise buddies" had I not gone on that Disney cruise.
Now all that aside, it really wasn't until my 13th (Alaska) and 14th (Norway, Iceland, Scotland) Disney cruise that I understood the point of cruises beyond hanging out with your friends and making new friends. Exploring ports of interest really give you a taste of a place or several places in a convenient manner and you can decide if you like those enough to go back and explore more thoroughly. I will totally go back to Alaska some day and just do land only. I've already decided to go back to Iceland for a week next year. I'd like to go back to Norway but just to hike Pulpit Rock.
ADB gives me a very similar opportunity that I don't actually have to plan. We got to see many highlights in Scotland with ABD and do some things we never could have planned on our own. Good luck launching canoes off of Urquhart Castle into Loch Ness on your own. Only ABD is allowed to do it. Good luck getting the local village baker to let you in their kitchen and teach you to make scones. We found we loved Scotland on this trip, and have been back twice since then and going again next year. The itinerary we did that first year in Scotland would have been impossible to do on my own, in the same time frame. It was a logistical nightmare. Californiagirl, who was on our ABD that year had already been to Scotland 8 times before and still chose to do the ABD trip because of the itinerary. That speaks volumes.
Heck I'll give you New York which anyone can do on their own, but here is what you aren't likely to get to do without ABD. How about front row center seats to Aladdin, meeting some of the cast afterwards, touring the theater backstage before the performance, seeing and trying on costumes from different shows, going to the choreography studio and learning a portion of a dance number that you will be seeing that night. I'm sorry, but I can't think of anything more immersive and less fake than something like that.
All the choices we make in life will have some impact and often a domino effect that we can't often foresee. Sometimes the choices we make enrich our lives in a way we never expected. Choosing not to try something, solely based on preconceived notions that have no foundation in experience can also well impact your life and leave it a little or a lot less richer, a little or a lot less fun and a little or a lot less full of wonder and joy. I don't want to think of what my own life would look like now, had a I not chosen to try a cruise with
DCL. We wouldn't have the awesomesauce friends that we have now, I wouldn't have discovered my favorite author, I would still be sitting on the fence about trying ABD and I would not have started a hobby in travel hacking and over 2 million points and miles so I can travel more and in a manner I would not have been able to afford. I do hope all of this helps. I also sincerely hope you decide to try new things even if you think you won't like them or get them. You may well be right, but you really won't know until you try. Though sometimes, I'm sure you will be very pleasantly surprised at not only the experience but the aftermath.