What do most people do with a loved one's ashes?

[bumbershoot]

Weird thing, I just got the bad news last month, 3 to 5 years is the Nuerosureons prediction. I'm 42. My wife and I have already discussed it, my ashes are to be spread in the seven seas lagoon. I want some of my friends to rent a pontoon boat, have some drinks on a beautiful day and pour me in. I want it to be a party.

I'm sorry to hear of your news. But you've given an interesting thread a bump.

You *might* want to consider an alternative, b/c I don't think WDW would want that to be done. If your family is "caught" before they are able to do this, you might tell them what to do instead of putting them in the lagoon.

I have my mom's ashes in her urn on my desk. Her's doesn't look like an urn, just a wooden box. We decorate it for holidays, my kids talk to her, my husband thinks we're all crazy but it's just our way of keeping her "around" I guess.

I kind of love that.


I didn't like having my mom's ashes in the house. I didn't know stepdad had gone to pick up the urn that day, and as we sat down to dinner I had the creepiest feeling behind me. I said something, and stepdad pointed to the urn behind me, that I hadn't noticed. Once he got time from work and it was warmer, he went with my mom's sister to take the urn up to White Plains NY to have the urn buried in the family plot.


My FIL was scattered in Commencement Bay, which is connected to Puget Sound, which is connected to the Pacific Ocean, because he was a sailor in one way or the other from the age of 16 to 78... The crematorium has their own boat and does this for people (for a charge).

I'll add my comment because it's different from everyone else. Our son's urn is in a fireproof safe in our laundry room. Dh got totally freaked out about "what if there were a fire?" and he feels better with the ashes there. I never wanted the urn to be sitting out (love the kid, but it just bothers me), so it works for me too.

 

[Jennasis]

We had been living in NC for about 2 years, and I went into our bathroom closet to grab some towels when I noticed a cardboard box on the uppermost shelf. I grabbed a stool and shimmied up there to grab it, since I had no clue what it could be. Imagine my surprise to find it was my FIL....well his ashes anyway. So I yelled for DH and asked him why his father had been forced to dwell in the bathroom closet? He said they hadn't gotten around to spreading the ashes (his father had been deceased for 10 years and had managed to move from NY to NC with us, unbeknownst to me). DH and his brother and mother finally decided to spread his ashes out in the ocean where his dad loved to fish and dive.

We also have the ashes of out beloved greyhound who passed in 2010. She is in a lovely box on our mantle.

 

[daughtersrus]

I know that this is an old thread but I decided to comment anyway.

When my mom died in 2000, she was cremated. My dad put her ashes in a portable fireproof box. If he came to visit, he brought the box with. It kind of creeped me out. I couldn't even pick the box up. My dad passed away 3 years ago. He wanted my mom's ashes to be put in his coffin with him. The funeral home had no problem doing this, but the cemetery where my parents already had plot paid for with other family members wanted to charge us well over $1,000 to allow mom's ashes to be with dad. The sad thing is that when the plots were purchased over 30 years earlier, one was bought for mom and one for dad. The cemetery already got the money and now was trying to collect an extra fee. Talk about taking advantage of people in morning.

 

[pilesoflaundry]

Everybody does things differently. I know of a woman who used to strap her DH into the front seat of her RV and toured the country like that. She would talk to him and tell him everything she was seeing and doing. After a few years, she put him on the shelf.

I don't know what you'd do. I would wait a while until your mom is in a little better frame of mind. She probably will need some time to adjust. Until that time, she can do whatever makes her feel comfortable, which may indeed make *you* feel uncomfortable. But i guess she gets to make that decision. After she gets over the initial shock, perhaps she will be ready to do whatever it is your father wanted.

I think the rv idea is kinda awesome.

I agree with giving your mom some time, op.

My mom gave me specific instructions on where her ashes have to go when her time comes. No one else in the family has mentioned wanting to be cremated so I don't know what I would do.

 

[Denise W]

My Dad LOVED to play golf. When he died and was cremated, my siblings and I scattered his ashes on a golf course near his home.

Denise

 

[hereyago]

My DF gave his body to science, then when they were done, they were sent to a family member on his side to be scattered in the Wabash river near where he was born.

I didn't want his ashes, let alone in a box, that would freak me out too much.

I remember Ember's pictures of her mom's final resting place and that actually inspired me for what I want to be done with my ashes, after the medical school is done with me. But I can't decide on the living reef or to be scattered off the coast of Oahu.

 

[not_minnie]

When my MIL died we purchased a niche in our church's columbarium. The niches are quite small, really only suited for the box the cremains come in, but I thought she'd like a decorative urn. We looked far and wide for a container small enough to fit in the niche. Night before the funeral mass, DH and I were transferring the cremains from the box to the urn and, wouldn't you know it, they didn't all fit. I hope this doesn't come off as disrespectful, but we laughed until tears ran down our cheeks. I guess a combination of stress, grief and sheer disbelief that this could be happening. Finally we packed in as much as we could, and we spread the rest behind her house later.

 

[Zuzu03]

My mom just passed suddenly in December and her wishes were to be cremated then her ashes spread on a lake in Canada where she grew up. My sister has the wooden box right now (thank goodness, because I'm too freaked out to have them here) and we're planning on doing the spreading this summer, but I'm also freaked out by the idea of even SEEING the ashes. I don't deal well with death AT ALL, but something we have to do, I guess, because it's what she wanted. OP and others who have lost loved ones: I feel for you, it's an awful thing that we all have to deal, unfortunately.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Weird thing, I just got the bad news last month, 3 to 5 years is the Nuerosureons prediction. I'm 42. My wife and I have already discussed it, my ashes are to be spread in the seven seas lagoon. I want some of my friends to rent a pontoon boat, have some drinks on a beautiful day and pour me in. I want it to be a party.

I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing your personal story. If you ever want to talk (or vent) please know your DIS friends will always be by your side.

 

[cari12]

For my father, he wanted his ashes spread at sea so we chartered a boat for family only after the service and spread them there. For my Mom and brother, we felt they should 'be" somewhere because for my Dad, he was not commemorated anywhere. So we bought spots on a memory wall where they put the ashes in a special urn that fits in a hole in a wall at a memorial garden and a commemorative plaque is put overtop. At that time we also had my Dad's name added to a large stone plaque at the garden that was titled "Buried at sea" (or something to that effect but nicer). This way if someone wants to "visit" them , they have somewhere to do that.

 

[dis75ney]

My grandmother passed in 2008. She was cremated and my mother has taken her ashes all over the world, since the only place Grams ever travelled to was Las Vegas and Mom wants to make sure Grams sees the world in some way. So far, Grams has been scattered in Vegas (obviously), England, Amsterdam, Germany, Austria, Jamaica, the Virgin Islands, Belize, Honduras, and in front of a gay bar in South Beach (that was my contribution )...

 

[I Love Pluto]

My DH & I will be cremated. We haven't figured out yet what to do with the ashes. I guess my "urn" will have to circulate between my 2 kids. I wonder what they'll do with us. Hmmmm......I'll have to ask!

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

My Aunt has her son in the house on a bookcase.
It's weird to me but I'm thinking that was the way she felt she could stay close to her son.

 

[godoftheWorld]

As far as my wife getting caught, she is pretty smooth when it comes to doing things on(without another way to say it)the down low. Besides, there will be several of my great friends with her, they already said they will be willing to get arrested to make sure it happens. It would be much harder to do if it were in one of the parks. But they will rent a boat from the Poly and enjoy the day with some drinks.
Besides that, I'm trying to figure out if it's possible at all to get into Club 33. I realize how difficult it is, darn near impossible actually, but even if I have to speak to people going in the door and explain my personal situation, I will. I just want a Club 33 pin to go with me into the afterlife, a real one, not a fake. I don't think that is asking for TOO MUCH.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

As far as my wife getting caught, she is pretty smooth when it comes to doing things on(without another way to say it)the down low. Besides, there will be several of my great friends with her, they already said they will be willing to get arrested to make sure it happens. It would be much harder to do if it were in one of the parks. But they will rent a boat from the Poly and enjoy the day with some drinks.
Besides that, I'm trying to figure out if it's possible at all to get into Club 33. I realize how difficult it is, darn near impossible actually, but even if I have to speak to people going in the door and explain my personal situation, I will. I just want a Club 33 pin to go with me into the afterlife, a real one, not a fake. I don't think that is asking for TOO MUCH.

Every time this type of thread takes a turn to WDW it becomes a feud!

 

[godoftheWorld]

Just a super disney fan who would love to stay there foerever, for whatever the word "forever" means anyway. I mean no malice at all, it's just my final wish in life. I think it would come across better if we spoke about this face to face, instead of a computer.

 

[bumbershoot]

As far as my wife getting caught, she is pretty smooth when it comes to doing things on(without another way to say it)the down low. Besides, there will be several of my great friends with her, they already said they will be willing to get arrested to make sure it happens.

As long as they know there could be trouble, and are OK with it. That's all I wanted to make sure you knew. In case you didn't.

 

[godoftheWorld]

Any thoughts about getting my foot in the door of Club 33?

 

[Disney Dreams]

Weird thing, I just got the bad news last month, 3 to 5 years is the Nuerosureons prediction. I'm 42. My wife and I have already discussed it, my ashes are to be spread in the seven seas lagoon. I want some of my friends to rent a pontoon boat, have some drinks on a beautiful day and pour me in. I want it to be a party.

As far as my wife getting caught, she is pretty smooth when it comes to doing things on(without another way to say it)the down low. Besides, there will be several of my great friends with her, they already said they will be willing to get arrested to make sure it happens. It would be much harder to do if it were in one of the parks. But they will rent a boat from the Poly and enjoy the day with some drinks....

You may also want to be aware that in MANY situations when this has been done in the past, HAZ/MAT is called out and the remains are vacuum up and disposed of. Human remains are technically toxic waste and can be harmful to living being --- including any fish etc that may live in the Seven Seas.

I understand your desire to spend forever at Disney, but maybe they could drop a photo of you instead of your remains, which is both illegal and unethical. Just a suggestion.

Again, I'm sorry for your situation and send you all the wishes for the doctors to be wrong and/or for treatment to be successful.

- Dreams

 

[godoftheWorld]

Well, it has been a couple weeks. I've had the surgery, the gamma knife, and I start chemo tomorrow. I am in pretty positive spirits. Going to the Poly this weekend. I wonder if there is a way to make a wish come true for an adult and stay at the Cinderella Suite in the Magic Kingdom. Any idea's of who I should call?