What Am I?!

So, What am I?

  • Miss

  • Ms.

  • Other (please explain yourself...)


Results are only viewable after voting.

LittleMissMickey

DIS Veteran
Joined
Mar 8, 2004
Messages
731
I am having a sort of identity crisis... It is laughable, yes, but really, I don't know what I am! Am I a Miss or a Ms., that is the question.

Here is the background, so you might make an educated, informed decision:

I am a 24-year-old, second grade teacher in a small Catholic school. We have a staff of about 12 people, and I think I'm the only one not yet married. I was a Kindergarten teacher last year at a different school, and I always went by Miss, although the school and other things always put Ms. It doesn't really bother me, but I just want to know if maybe my using Miss was wrong? I feel like Miss is younger and more fun and flexible seeming, but perhaps some view it as immature? Ms. has always seemed stuffy, but perhaps I am supposed to be a Ms. for the sake of society?

Please, oh please let me know what you think. I really don't know who else to ask, as nobody really seems to know/care about the differences here!

Thanks in advance,
Ashley
 
Hello! I voted for MISS!

I'm 27, and unmarried, so I still use "Miss". Sometimes I use "Ms", but only when "Miss" is not available on a form or something of the sort. I think it is totally up to you.

I think "Ms" is classically reserved for divorced women, but today, who cares? Use it if you want to!

I had a highschool teacher that refused to use "Mrs" because it was like saying "Mr's", and suggested being a man's property, so she used "Ms" even while married.

I say do whatever you want!!!!
 
I don't know what the rules are anymore. :confused3 I do remember though back in the late 70's, when I was in the third grade, that MS. Edwards made a HUGE production out of this. We got a lecture on the first day of class that we were NEVER to refer to her as Miss. That she was divorced and Edwards was not her maiden name, therefore we were to refer to her as Ms. Edwards. She was mean. :sad2:

ETA: She wasn't mean for telling us to refer to her as Ms., although I think her attitude sucked the way she presented it with such hostility. She was mean because she would walk around with a yard stick and slam it on your desk if she though you weren't paying attention. Even though I never got my desk whacked, that witch gave me heart palpitations. She even broke a few. :rolleyes:
 
Honestly you can be what you want to be.

I use Ms for myself and I am a 29 year old married lady. I have been using Ms. since I turned 20 and was engaged to be married. I just don't care for Mrs and never bothered to use it. To me Ms. (to me pronounced mizz) isn't all that stuffy, but if you don't like it, just use Miss. I truly think is more of a preference thing than what is right or wrong.

For me Ms. is one that is used when a lady is no longer a child. It doesn't mean married or even "old". Just a difference between a child status and non child. Kind of like the difference between Master and Mister for the men :)
 

married or unmarried I would use Ms.
 
I voted for Ms. DD has 3 ballet teachers (1 not married and in high school) and a riding lesson instructor (married) that she refers to as Ms. ______. It is just easier for her at 6 to go with the one title for the ladies that instruct her. Especially since kids dont get the whole single, married, divorced title confusion. Even when I teach sunday school a month a year the kids refer to me as Ms_______. Its a safe way to refer to someone.
 
I used Miss until I married at 29. Often the kids slur it all together anyway, or call all the teachers Mrs., or call all the teachers Miss. No one cared. At my kid's school now, some of the single teachers use Miss, some use Ms. I think it's personal preference, but the reality is you don't always get called what you want to anyway. Use the name you want, but answer to anything!
 
I always thought that Ms. was a way to say it's none of your business whether I'm married or not. Use whatever you like!
 
I voted for Miss, because you have never been married and are still young. But no matter what you decide to call yourself--Miss, Ms., or Mrs., chances are your students will still call you Miss.
 
Although I'm all for women who prefer "Ms." I think "Miss" is just dandy. And I love hearing little kids say, "Miss Mickey? I have to go to the bathroom." Too cute. :)
 
I think you should go by whatever YOU want. Its your name after all.
 
I think whatever you feel comfortable with!
Personally I am 30 , not married and I hate to be called Miss of course I hate even more to be called Mrs.!!!!! (some people just assume you have to be married at a certain age?)
 
When we were in New Mexico, all dd's female teachers were called Ms. I think it may be a regional thing. Married or unmarried--didn't matter. When we moved to Michigan and dd had teachers who were called Mrs., it threw the poor kid off. We had to practice saying the word Mrs. :teeth:
 
Use what you're comfortable with. I'm married, but prefer using Ms.

I associate Miss with someone very young, like an impressionable teenager. Then, I get a grip and quickly re-think my first thought. Not sure why I think that way. Maybe it's because it's been so many years since I've been a "miss" to anyone?
 
I always thought Mrs. was for if you were married, Miss if you weren't and Ms. could be used in place of either.

So, you are both a Miss and a Ms. I am both a Mrs. and a Ms.

If I am ever not sure if a woman is married or not, I use Ms.

If you are a teacher, I would stick with Miss because it easier to say, but respond to either.
 
The way I look at it is:

Miss is for young girls or would be used if addressing as Miss Firstname - I see this used for preschool teachers/dance teachers/girl scouts, etc....

Ms. is for either married or single women & would be used as
Ms. HusbandsLastname or Ms. MaidenName. I see this used for elementary & higher teachers who are not married. This would also be used if you didn't know what Jane Doe's marital status is.

Mrs. is for married women they would be addressed as
Mrs. HusbandsLastname

From Wikipedia:
Ms or Ms. (US usage) (pronounced /məz/ or /mɪz/) is a title used with the last name or full name of a woman. Unlike the more traditional titles Miss and Mrs, it does not bear any reference to the woman's marital status, as Mr does not for a man.

Although it is usually believed to be a creation of modern feminism, Ms was sporadically used as an abbreviation for the title "Mistress" (just like Mrs) as early as the 1700s, and the pronunciation mizz for Mrs was colloquial in the American South and other areas. Indeed "Mistress" originally did not bear reference to marital status either, until the title separated into the diminutive "Miss" and abbreviation "Mrs" in the 17th Century.

The use of Ms as a title was conceived by Sheila Michaels in 1961[citation needed], upon seeing what might be a typographical error on a copy of News & Letters. Address-o-graph plates were difficult to repair and small, poor groups would not waste resources to correct minor mistakes. Michaels' roommate, Mary Hamilton (Congress of Racial Equality's first female Field Secretary in the South) had spoken to the Marxist-Humanist group in Detroit and taken their newspaper. Michaels, who was illegitimate, and not adopted by her stepfather, had long grappled with finding a title which reflected her situation: not being owned by a father and not wishing to be owned by a husband. She knew the separation of Miss and Mrs had been recent, but one could not suggest that women call themselves Mistress with its louche connotations. Her efforts to promote use of a new honorific were ignored in the Civil Rights era, and seven years later in the nascent Women's Movement. Around 1971, in a lull during a WBAI-radio interview with The Feminists group, Michaels suggested the use of the title Ms (having chosen a pronunciation current for both in Missouri, her home). A friend of Gloria Steinem's heard the interview and suggested it as a title for her new magazine. The tape was erased for re-use by volunteers who regarded the Women's Movement as a joke.

The usage of Ms was championed as non-sexist language beginning in the 1970s, especially in business usage, by those who argue that a woman's marital status is of no relevance in such a context. Starting in the 1970s, many women chose to be called Ms for political reasons, and a major feminist magazine is named Ms.

The Times (UK) states in its style guide that "Ms is nowadays fully acceptable when a woman wants to be called thus, or when it is not known for certain if she is Mrs or Miss."

The Guardian (UK) states in its style guide that: "We use whichever the woman in question prefers: with most women in public life (Ms Booth, Mrs May, Miss Widdecombe) that preference is well known; if you don't know, try to find out; if that proves impossible, use Ms."

Most women style themselves either "Miss" or "Mrs". However, in some circles the title is now standard, for instance in business — and where one may not know or find relevant the marital status of the woman so addressed. The default use of Ms is championed by a number of etiquette writers, including Judith Martin (Miss Manners).

The title Miss is now considered by some to be quite old-fashioned — except for actresses, entertainers, most umarried women and young girls. The title Mrs is still in common use, especially by women who have taken their husband's family name - the vast majority.

However English school children address female teachers as Miss regardless of marital status.

Several public opponents of "non-sexist language", such as William Safire, were convinced that Ms had earned a place in English by the case of Geraldine A. Ferraro. Ms. Ferraro, a United States vice presidential candidate in 1984, was a married woman who went by her birth surname rather than her husband's (Zaccaro). Safire pointed out that it would be equally incorrect to call her "Miss Ferraro" or "Mrs Ferraro" — or to confuse the reader by calling her "Mrs. Zaccaro"!

The rare plural of Ms is Mses It is not standard to use Ms as a term of direct address; usually Ma'am will be used.

In other European languages, non-sexist usage in this regard usually amounts to using words more or less equivalent to Mrs. (madame, Fr.; señora, Es.; senhora, Pt.; signora, It.; Frau, De.; bean-uasal, Ga. and Gd.) for both married and unmarried women, and whether they take their husband's name or not. This makes sense as these titles are usually the direct feminine equivalents of the male titles (monsieur, Fr.; señor, Es.; senhor, Pt.; signore, It.; Herr, De.; máistir/tiarna, Ga.; maighstir/tighearna, Gd.), whereas the equivalent of Miss is a diminutive of the female equivalent (mademoiselle, Fr.; señorita, Es.; senhorita, Pt.; signorina, It.; Fräulein, De.; ógbhean-uasal, Ga.; maighdeann-uasal, Gd.).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From The American Heritage® Book of English Usage.A Practical and Authoritative Guide to Contemporary English. [size=-1]1996.[/size]
Many of us think of Ms. or Ms as a very recent invention of the women’s movement, but in fact the term was first suggested as a convenience to writers of business letters by such publications as the Bulletin of the American Business Writing Association (1951) and The Simplified Letter, issued by the National Office Management Association (1952). Along with many others, champions of women’s rights saw the virtues of the term and soon advocated its use in more general contexts, as is evidenced by the founding of Ms. magazine in 1972.[size=-2] 1[/size] The form Ms. or Ms is now widely used in both professional and social contexts. Thus the term stands as a highly successful language reform—probably because people value its usefulness. As a courtesy title, Ms. serves exactly the same function as Mr. does for men, and like Mr. it may be used with a last name alone or with a full name: Ms. Pemberton; Ms. Miriam E. Pemberton.[size=-2] 2[/size] Using Ms. obviates the need for the guesswork involved in figuring out whether to address someone as Mrs. or Miss: you can’t go wrong with Ms. Whether the woman you are addressing is married or unmarried, has changed her name or not, Ms. is always correct. And the beauty of Ms. is that this information becomes irrelevant, as it should be—and as it has always been for men.[size=-2] 3[/size] Of course, some women may indicate that they prefer to use the title Miss or Mrs., and in these cases it only makes sense to follow their wishes.


Hope the above helps!
 
I been wondering about this issue! I started a job working as a kid's librarian, and many times, the kids ask me for my name. I usually say "Miss Sue", but now I am wondering if I am too old to use that! Fortunately I am rather short and not too gray yet (and just got braces off to boot!) so I don't appear very old yet, thank goodness! But I see "Ms." coming on the horizon ...!

I noticed this issue while flipping through old high school yearbooks, too. Years ago, if a teacher was I guess mid-30's or younger and not married, they were listed as "Miss". Somewhere before they turned 40, the teacher then became "Ms" in the yearbook. Nowadays in the yearbooks, the teachers are listed by first and last name, with no title, so it bypasses the whole issue! I guess it's safer for every female to be "Ms" now. :)
 
I voted "Miss." Don't be a "Ms." for the sake of society. Be what you want to be, and from what you say, I think that's "Miss."

Bobbi :sunny:
 


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