What age to start dating?

[princesspumpkin]

Snoopy, I think that your opinion is great, since you got to date early and, knowing from experience, decided to let your kids date later. I think that dating earlier leads to other things that we may not want our kids to participate in at such a young age (other than sex, but also drugs, alcohol, etc.) We may think that our kidds are mature at 12 or 14, but remember that they will be hanging out with other 12 or 14 year olds who may not be as level-headed. There's nothing wrong with setting guidelines on kids that include age. There are age restrictions on other things in life, like drinking and driving (not together of course). I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16 and then I didn't date at all once I turned 16 until I was almost 18.

 

[Microcell]

Originally posted by Disney Ella
DH and I were having a discussion about this and he thinks it would be okay to let our DDs date at 14. I say that is way too young for dating. At that age I can see letting them go out with a mixed group of boys and girls, but I say no solo dating until they're 16.


My parents told me no solo dating when I was 17 because they were psycho, but that is another thread, anyway they said to go in a group until I graduated HS- I agreed but let me tell you - that did not happen. I don't know if there is anyway to be sure exactly what they are doing. I say they were psycho becasue they did all kinds of things I would not go into here but they were also they were inconsistant- they let me visit the guy at college- two hours away- supposedly becasue I was staying with HIS friend Andrea, whom they didn't know.

My vote is also based on maturity and as a general rule I would say 16 (of course it helps that my DD is young so that will mean 11th grade!).

 

[skuttle]

LOL! I met my now DH when I was 14 (I was a sophomore and he was a senior)...started dating soon after I made 15 and we've been together ever since. I'm now 25.

In 8th and 9th grade I was allowed to go to school dances with boys, movies with groups of friends (boys and girls), and a few parties at friends' houses (boys and girls). I didn't go on my first "real" date until I was 14...I was a soph in high school at the time.

 

[msdznyduck]

Just had this discussion with DD (who will be 14 on Sun the 23rd). I told her that probably when she is 16, and she was okay with that. She has a friend about 3 months older, who has been dating since she was 12, and is involved now with a 14 yr old boy since Oct. I think she looks longingly at them, and wishes she had a boyfriend also, but is level headed enough to know that school comes first. She gets good grades, and studies hard, and I hate to see that change just because of a boy. I told her she is too young for that girlfriend/boyfriend stuff----they don't realize all the issues that come up when dating. I think the other girls see the couple holding hands, and sneaking kisses, and think that is cool........but we all know better

 

[tazz23]

Im sure my parents didnt want me to start dating until I was 16, but when I was 14, I "fell in love" and as Ive always had an open relationship, my Mother was more happy I was honest about my then boyfriend, then hide our relationship from her.
However, She did make ground-rules- she had to know where I was going on and I had to back home by a certain time- There was trouble if I came home late!
As it happened, it only lasted a few months- But I was happy that my Mother felt I was mature enough and trusted me enough to let me have a boyfriend at that age.

I think it depends on your dds and also how old the boy is they want to date. I think a 14year old girl dating a 18 year old is a definite no!

 

[dcentity2000]

14 for a non serious relationship, 17 for a serious one. Serious here means a situation where a physical attraction starts to become evident.

10.5% of the younger's age is the age difference taste limit, we all reckon down here.



Rich::

 

[shelbyjosh]

I think 30 is a great age for my DD to start dating! We vow that she will have bars on her bedroom window and no boys until 30. I think I was around 16. Didn't do anything stupid either!!

 

[browneyes]

I was 17 before I went on my first date, and it was a double date at that. I think my kids should be atleast twice that age before they start dating. I'd prefer my kids to be 16, but I'm sure they'll try to change my mind on that.

 

[FroggyinArk]

dd is 12 and thinks she has to be going wuith some one all the time,, current infatuiation is a 15 yr old boy we do not apporve of,, ansd so she is pushing with the attituide ,, and threre by staying grounded and is misssing 3 weeks in fla a trip to busch gardens , a stop through wdw and sevearl days at the beach with her aunt in jacksonville this summer. of course w hen she fdound sh ewas mising hat she flew off hasndle and lost even more privileges until the last day of school. she wil be lucky if her attitude doesnt change she wont date tioll shes out of my house and on her own. am so ready to strange that kid argggggggggggggg but then she turns around and makes us sooo prouds of her we let her oiff for afew days antyway

 

[luvdzny]

DD is a freshman, she turned 15 in March. She started going on "non-group" dates this year. She has been dating her current boyfriend for 3 months and we love him!!!! They go to movies together, or spend time at each other's houses, but they are never home alone. I think a lot of parents would be surprised to know that their kids are breaking the "no dating" rule. A few of DD's friends are not allowed to date but that does not stop them. All of these friends have dated, one of them has been with the same guy for 7 months. Believe me, they find ways to get around the rule. I guess I would rather know what DD is doing than have her lie to me.

 

[DisneyJules]

Old enough to drive...old enough to date. My parents set 16 as the age, though my brother some how started dating at 14, which in my opinion is really quite too young. And here I am at 20 and still single

 

[princessariel]

Brer_Papa robbed the cradle! I was 15 when we started dating, and he was 18. Been married now 32 years.

 

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

I say 16 also. I was 16 before I was allowed to date and I agree that I think if they are able to get a driver's license at age 16 then there's really no sense in making them wait to date... I mean they can drive but not date? it makes no sense- if trustworthy/mature enough for one, then trustworthy/mature enough for the other.

But even then it depends on the maturity... I wouldn't let my child date OR drive at that age if they weren't mature, responsible and trustworthy enough (IMO) to do so.

 

[Esmerelda]

Wow....if you guys could see what I see on a daily basis working in the ER!!!

I'm sorry but 14 is WAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY to young to be dating!!!!!! I have two boys and when they are old enough to drive....then they can date but I will keep very close tabs on them.
I personally didn't go on my first solo date until 17 which was fine, I have no regrets. Some of these girls that I see, they have little to NO respect for themselves. The way they dress, act with their friends...and their language is unbelievable!!! Also, I see more suicide attempts with 15-20 yr old girls over some stupid boy that they broke up with......its almost pathetic. There is NO, I repeat NO boy nor girl in this world worth killing yourself over. I've seen 13 yr olds pregnant by their 15-18 yr old boyfriends........holy cow. Its sickening...it really is.

The earlier you give them this priviledge....the more you are setting yourself up for a fall as a parent. Don't get me wrong, I have two boys that are very trustworthy but I have seen waaay too much over the years. Kids that are 14 have no business ALONE with a boy/girl...it eventually makes for something bad to happen.

Recently just had a girl, late teens, raped at a party with a group of kids that she knew. There was no drinking involved (according to police) but one of her best friends boyfriend somehow managed to rape her. It was a very sad situation indeedy.

just my 2cents worth,
Esmerelda

 

[Blueeyes101817]

my first serious boyfriend and i started going out in 9th grade..we went out for 3 years...but of course in the beginning it was just me going to his house or him coming to mine...

 

[Disney Doll]

I was 15 1/2, but he was a nice kid who always had me home 15-30 minutes before curfew, so my parents allowed me to date him. They loved him. I liked him too, and it lasted a few months, but we went to different high schools, and once school started back in September, I kind of lost interest because there were so many cute boys at my own HS!!!!

 

[disneychrista]

I too am saying 16 to "date" but I also know I can not prevent my girls from having a boyfriend at school. I can prevent/control what she does outside of school. Of course I will have to play it by ear but I still am saying 16 for any "dates," with the exception of school dances. My oldest is 13 and just finishing 7th grade and while I can see that boys are showing an interest in her she so far has no interest in them.

 

[Son of the Morning]

13. Maybe 12.

Simply put, the hormones kick in, and the desire is there: The best you can do is teach responsibility. To outright deny a young teenager his or her desire to date will only come back to bite you in the *** as a parent later on, I promise you. Kids are smart: They'll work around you, and get together with the people they want to at school, and simply not tell you about it. In this case, then, you'll be setting a dangerous precedent of a perceived need to "keep things" from the parent.

 

[Nutsy]

I don't have any DD's but I have 2 DS's & thankfully neither are interested in the opposite sex yet & they are 16 & almost 15.

I don't think there is any need to start dating until they are at least 16.


Girls you have to be more careful with tho........ Guys can take advantage of them soo easily.

Good luck

 

[Jungle Skipper]

Well I figure around 25 or 30...at least thats when I plan on starting....

I tell my little cousin she can't date until shes 30...sounds fair to me!

Jungle Josh