lovemygoofy
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2004
- Messages
- 10,290
This is more of a reflection than anything so most might want to pass on lol.
Four years ago at this time things were starting in Iraq. My Matt left Feb 2, about a month and and some days after we were married. When I left I cried like my heart was breaking and it was but more than anything I was so scared. I got in the car and prayed remembering asking God how I was going to get through this and am I strong enough to pursue this life knowing the dangers and risks involved. Then I turned my radio on, lol, and the Gloria Gaynor song "I Will Survive" came on. I always knew God had a sense of humor. A couple mins later, I have to pull over againa nd I'm crying and I can't see when I hear a peck on my window and see this older couple standing there. I get out of the car and they start loving on me while they tell me about being seperated during WWII. Again, I knew God was telling me something and I could go on.
I didn't hear from Matt from Feb 2 until March 19th. I had no idea where he was or what was going on. He had been seperated from his unit and picked up by another unit but no one could tell me who. I felt like I was in such a fog and so worried but nothing I could do and then the bombs started dropping and I was hysterical. I remember just seeing it on the television and sitting there crying and praying. Later that night I had to go see about another wife, all of 17 years old, and missed my first call from Matt. In the background I could hear BOOM and I knew that he wasn't in Kuwait anymore lol but now I can laugh but then I lost it and sat and cried and cried and cried. My poor mom could not console me over the phone and I couldn't be consoled period and sat up all night waiting and praying my phone would ring. I don't remember much about the next morning but I went to work and showed up in my jammies with a ponytail and nikes. I was sitting in my office like a zombie when my boss and coworkers were trying to console me still. My phone rang and it was Matt. More waterworks but thank God I could talk to him and he couldn't tell me where he was or who he was with. OPSEC is a HUGE thing and I understand now but at the time I was pissed.
Matt leaves me a clue that he is with the people that save the day. I'm like WTH hell does that mean and that's all he can say and has to go. After the phone call I look done and realize I'm at work in my pj's and starving lol. I go home and find my army book and look at every unit trying to decide who saves the day. Do you know who comes in to save the day? Why it's the Cavalry of course, gee why didn't I know that.
Did I mention I hadn't been married 90 days yet and didn't know how to speak in acronyms or even know any other spouses? I think that is what drives me now to help all the others is that feeling of helplessness and thinking that no one else gives two damn's about you. Some older wives finally took me in and helped me find my way and then I was asked to take over the lagging Family Readiness Group. Best/worst thing I ever did. I was knew and I was married to a lower enlisted and there were some WITCHY women in that group. I had a wife that would call me everyday to tell me what a witch,with a different letter, I was. She would also tell me how she was going to tell her husband about me; her husband was my husband's platoon sgt and for a while I scared he would get into trouble and then I just got mad. She nevers said that again after I said well good tell him I said hello and I'm not sure how he has such great kids with a witch for a wife. Never even called back lol.
Since that time we've done another rotation and on the horizon of another. I've read all I can read about the army and learned as much about army life I could to make it ours. I hope that I can lead by example because so many choose not to anymore and I would never want to be a scared new wife again but sure remember what it's like. I don't think it gets easier per se but it gets easier to adapt. For all that have loved ones in harms way, please know that you can get through it and be better for it. I'm the walking talking example and plan to teach as many as I can to do the same. Thanks for listening to my thoughts.
Four years ago at this time things were starting in Iraq. My Matt left Feb 2, about a month and and some days after we were married. When I left I cried like my heart was breaking and it was but more than anything I was so scared. I got in the car and prayed remembering asking God how I was going to get through this and am I strong enough to pursue this life knowing the dangers and risks involved. Then I turned my radio on, lol, and the Gloria Gaynor song "I Will Survive" came on. I always knew God had a sense of humor. A couple mins later, I have to pull over againa nd I'm crying and I can't see when I hear a peck on my window and see this older couple standing there. I get out of the car and they start loving on me while they tell me about being seperated during WWII. Again, I knew God was telling me something and I could go on.
I didn't hear from Matt from Feb 2 until March 19th. I had no idea where he was or what was going on. He had been seperated from his unit and picked up by another unit but no one could tell me who. I felt like I was in such a fog and so worried but nothing I could do and then the bombs started dropping and I was hysterical. I remember just seeing it on the television and sitting there crying and praying. Later that night I had to go see about another wife, all of 17 years old, and missed my first call from Matt. In the background I could hear BOOM and I knew that he wasn't in Kuwait anymore lol but now I can laugh but then I lost it and sat and cried and cried and cried. My poor mom could not console me over the phone and I couldn't be consoled period and sat up all night waiting and praying my phone would ring. I don't remember much about the next morning but I went to work and showed up in my jammies with a ponytail and nikes. I was sitting in my office like a zombie when my boss and coworkers were trying to console me still. My phone rang and it was Matt. More waterworks but thank God I could talk to him and he couldn't tell me where he was or who he was with. OPSEC is a HUGE thing and I understand now but at the time I was pissed.
Matt leaves me a clue that he is with the people that save the day. I'm like WTH hell does that mean and that's all he can say and has to go. After the phone call I look done and realize I'm at work in my pj's and starving lol. I go home and find my army book and look at every unit trying to decide who saves the day. Do you know who comes in to save the day? Why it's the Cavalry of course, gee why didn't I know that.
Did I mention I hadn't been married 90 days yet and didn't know how to speak in acronyms or even know any other spouses? I think that is what drives me now to help all the others is that feeling of helplessness and thinking that no one else gives two damn's about you. Some older wives finally took me in and helped me find my way and then I was asked to take over the lagging Family Readiness Group. Best/worst thing I ever did. I was knew and I was married to a lower enlisted and there were some WITCHY women in that group. I had a wife that would call me everyday to tell me what a witch,with a different letter, I was. She would also tell me how she was going to tell her husband about me; her husband was my husband's platoon sgt and for a while I scared he would get into trouble and then I just got mad. She nevers said that again after I said well good tell him I said hello and I'm not sure how he has such great kids with a witch for a wife. Never even called back lol.
Since that time we've done another rotation and on the horizon of another. I've read all I can read about the army and learned as much about army life I could to make it ours. I hope that I can lead by example because so many choose not to anymore and I would never want to be a scared new wife again but sure remember what it's like. I don't think it gets easier per se but it gets easier to adapt. For all that have loved ones in harms way, please know that you can get through it and be better for it. I'm the walking talking example and plan to teach as many as I can to do the same. Thanks for listening to my thoughts.
What a great story. You are a very strong and compassionate person. I am very grateful for what your DH and you do.
Tina, I am so proud of you, and happy for you that you have arrived at such a good place. 
