We've made the decision (pg. 4)

[1rockinmamato2]

That poor boy was so grateful, He thanked me for taking him and actually said "Emily is such a pain we can't do anything with her around!" Now is this how you want siblings to talk? If all the fun has to stop because of their sister the boys will resent her. I think the OP has made a good choice for her family, let the grandparents do something special with DD and she'll have something to brag about at the end of the week too!!

But, what if they just left Emily behind and she grows up to see her family's vacation pictures and she's not in them because "she was too difficult to handle and would ruin the trip for everyone else?" I think Emily, or any other child, would have some issues down the line with that one.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Won't your daughter be almost 4 by then? Lots of things can change. She might be the easiest child by then. My main question is - do you really think you'll enjoy Disney when you see so many children her age having a wonderful time? I know I wouldn't be able to stand it.

I totally agree. My DD is 3. I've had lots of mothers of multiple children tell me my DD is a firecracker a spitfire and any other "nice" way you can describe a handful of a child. Yea, she still has her moments in WDW but the joy of her face when she's hugging Cinderella and Belle or chasing the Beast across France hugging his leg, because he's her favorite. Those are moments you can't get back.

All the good moments definetly outweigh the bad ones with her.

 

[dsnygirl2006]

I can understand leaving the baby, but not the 3 year old, I couldn't imagine leaving my 3 year old home, they are too too smart and know exactly what's going on....she may surprise you and be very well behaved by then.....I don't think anyone is being rude, I think everyone is just giving you their honest opinions because you asked for them....

 

[maxiesmom]

I thought about that. My 3 yr old is all over the place whenever we go out, and she refuses to listen,throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way and is constantly running off. I really am afraid for her safety, and taking her to Disney would put my DH and I over the edge. I'm really hoping as she gets older, she'll grow out of this stage so then when we do go to a place like Disney, its alot more enjoyable.

Wow. This comment truly upsets me. It seems that you don't wish to take your daughter on vacation because you don't want to deal with her? I can't imagine that. This is awful. I really feel sad for her.

 

[mary174]

Wow! Tough decision to make, but you know your own family best. I would reccomend either not taking pictures on this trip, or giving the grandparents cameras and having them take lots of photos of your two daughters. I know that my kids are always wanting to know where they are in any picture they aren't in.

Your sons will probably benefit from more one on one time with the parents and each other. You will be able to do more with fuller days, and your 3 y/o will probably love spending time with the grandparents. My sons still find some of the most enjoyable times of the trip at the hotel playgrounds and pools. Consider it a vacation for all of you. Use your reduced family size to get a smaller and cheaper room, and then make plans for all of you to take a shorter more youth friendy trip the next year. Have your daughter wear the princess dress you'll find yourself having to get her then.

 

[ZanyToes]

We are going to Disney in April w/ a just turned 4 year old (like 2 weeks before our trip) and a by then 18 month old! I know I don't know your family and the dynamic's.. and not trying to say I am.. but just the THOUGHT of leaving behind either of my kids.. esp. my 4 year old literally makes me cry!

 

[grlpwrd]

Our decision is final.

How interesting that you are so curt in your updated post. Aside from the fact that a child can have special needs (like ADD, etc.) which could mean a different approach, I think if you can be firm with us then you can be firm with her.

You still have to deal with her on a daily basis. Isn't it better to lay down the foundation regardless of whether you take her on a trip or not?

She's 3 and you still have time to discipline her and she will grow and develop over time. It is upsetting that she is being punished by not letting her come along, but please think about what I posted. There is hope.

GL to you!

Oops... forgot to mention I have 5 kids and my 3.5 yo was a bit energetic and wild about 6 months ago, hence his nickname, Mr. CrazyPants. lol ... He's a lot better now and that is why I say there is hope.

 

[grlpwrd]

We are going to Disney in April w/ a just turned 4 year old (like 2 weeks before our trip) and a by then 18 month old! I know I don't know your family and the dynamic's.. and not trying to say I am.. but just the THOUGHT of leaving behind either of my kids.. esp. my 4 year old literally makes me cry!

Me, too.

Nice to see another slinging mommy.

 

[toesmom]

I would not leave any of my kids at home, I'll say that first. But I do understand about having a child that would make the trip to disney difficult.

I have a 3 yo ds who went with us to disney this past january and last year and the year before. My dh has always justed stayed at the resort with him while I went into the parks with my dd.

That's how we managed to have our holiday "together". We tried epcot and characters and he hated it.

I did use a baby trekker baby carrier (supports up to 40 lbs) to make getting around with him easier. So that is an idea for you OP.

I can understand not wanting to take her into the parks with you, but maybe you can find a way with your dh to stay with her through at least part of the day at the resort pool while the rest of the family goes to the parks.

You should try to take her with you, you or your dh will have to change your schedule to accommodate her pace and temperment.

And believe me, I'm sympathetic to you. I hardly go anywhere with my ds because it's a lot of work as he just runs everywhere and it's hard because of my safety concerns. But a disney holiday.... I wouldn't leave him at home, sorry.

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

Oy vey!

I'm glad you reached a decision that works for you. I know a lot of people here advocate taking all the kids to WDW -- but you know your kids and what will work for you. Do what's right for your family not what someone else tells you worked for them.

To be honest I could not have taken my kids when they were little. When my younger one was 2 1/2 we left her hone with the grandparents and took her older sister (5 1/2) to WDW for her first time. Did I feel twangs of "oh, the little one would love this" at times? Yes! But I also realized that my older dd got to have the full Disney experience. She was able to ride the attractions with mom and dad without having to hear that we couldn't all do something because her sister was too little. And the little one had a great time with both sets of grandparents who spoiled her rotten in our absence. I haven't heard once since "why didn't you take me?" When she was 5 we went back as a family.

 

[hollyb]

We've already considered taking my parents, but my sister's 2 kids are also staying with them, while they're on a cruise.

As I see it, if this trip is awesome I'll gladly take the girls, when I feel they're ready. As a mom, I know that my decision is right. Its a tough one to make, but in the long run it'll be better. I know they'll have fun with grandma and papa, and I'm not too concerned about them missing out.

Since when did leaving kids behind become an option? Once we have children they become "family" who could leave kids behind, for a pleasure trip? Emergency yes.

 

[lillygator]

But, what if they just left Emily behind and she grows up to see her family's vacation pictures and she's not in them because "she was too difficult to handle and would ruin the trip for everyone else?" I think Emily, or any other child, would have some issues down the line with that one.

we went on a Disney Cruise when my eldest was three....she was in the kids club because she wanted to go - Do Si Do with Snow White that night, although we had our DIS group pirate shot. Immediatley upon seeing the picture she wanted to know why she wasn't in it.

I couldn't imagine going to WDW without my girls. It would crush them, a nice night and dinner out with DH yes, but a whole trip...no way.

 

[homemaker]

mom2-four, I'm sure you have stressed over this decision for many many hours. I also have four children, all boys and 2 are ADHD. The decision is yours to make and I only wish to offer advice. We went to WDW in august for 11 days just myself, DH , and our four boys. There were days that we really felt out numbered, but there were also memories made that I will never foget. My now 2yo got his first haircut in MK. What great fun was that. I love to look at the pictures and see how much fun we all had. As for being or going over the edge, several times a day!!! When we has enough WE TOOK A BREAK! Taking a break I think is the key. I really feel you can do it with all of your children and not go completely over the edge. Maybe push you close a time or two If you plan to follow your kids needs and take it slow you can all have a great time. Also remember that you won't be able to see/do everything so don't try to or you will drive yourself crazy. In the end you have to do what works for you and your family. Good luck and have a safe trip.

 

[dreamalittledream]

We went on our 10 day trip in Dec and DD was 2 1/2. She was also a bit difficult, didn't stand still, sit thu a meal or listen when she should have. Energetic they call it. Make Mommy crazy is what I call it. She is a busy little girl and 10 days trying to keep her in check really put stress on all of us. It also prompted my husband to say we aren't going back for 5 years.
(like that is really going to happen, NOT)

In retrospect, she was at a stage that passed. If I could have waited a few more months to go, I would have. In the time since we have come back, she is getting better by the day. Now, we have a few new behavoirs to deal with, the "throwing myself on the floor " tantrum has appeared. But that is a bit easier to deal with than the "I'm running away from you because I can" behavior.

Would I have left her behind? No, it would not have worked for our family to miss out on having the little one there. It was a very special vacation and the bad times will fade from the memory. I will look back at the video and the pictures with the ice cream covered faces and remember the fun times. I'll also smile at the times that she made us crazy by swinging on every chain in the PoC que, even though at the time I was sure they were ready to throw us out. It was all a part of the vacation we took as a family.

One on one time is precious with your older boys. I spent an evening at MK with just my 5yr old DD while the 2 1/2 yr old was in the room with DH and that was one of the best nights of the vacation. I got her cotton candy and let her eat the whole thing at once. We rode whatever she wanted to that night. She danced with Pluto and we took silly pictures in front of the castle. She really enjoyed it but doesn't talk about it any more or less that the other things we did on the trip.

I don't have any advice, it is your decision to make as a family. Disney will always be there, you can always go back. That is what makes it so great. If you don't do something this time, there is always next time.

I do hope you enjoy your trip, I have Disney envy since I can't go back for 5 yrs (shush, I am already planning Oct 08 on the sly)

 

[pennymercantile]

I wouldn't feel guilty about not taking her esp if she is w/grandparents.

Unless you've had a "busy" child it is hard to understand how quickly they will and can get lost!

I remember taking my then 6, 4 and 6 month old to OK Mozart in the park w/DH a few years ago. DH had been WARNED about my 4 yr old dd running off and just leaving and he lost her right by a lake. She had been on the slide and the next thing he knew she was gone. Talk about a panic!!

DH went looking for her and thought she might have come to me...he went right past a couple of police officers and I went right up to them and turns out she was already w/a woman police officer. My dd 4 had decided to go look at the icecream stand and was found that way.

I would NEVER EVER have taken her to Disney World at that stage of life . SHe is now 9 and still busy but stays w/me now...I have drummed it into her head.

IT wasn't the first time she had pulled something like that....My other 2 kids are totally different and stayed w/me when they were younger.

Good luck and have fun!

 

[weeluvdisney]

To The Op
Getting Disney Advice Is Great But Not Worth Being Judged Like This And I'm Sorry About That.

We Went On A Trip Last Year, Our First With Our Youngest Who Was 3 1/2 At The Time. He Is Hyper And Loud Whether He Is Happy Or Sad. He Had Some Fun But For The Most Part He Was Over Stimulated Over Tired And Sometimes Just Plain Freaked Out. It Made The Trip A Bit Rough Not Just Because Of His Behavior But Because Of The Mean Looks And Rude Stares We Received From Others Including People With Children That Acted Like They Had Never Seen A 3 Yr Old Cry Or Throw A Fit. You Would Have Thought We Were Beating Him Right There The Way Some People Looked At Us. This Hurt Me As I Am Very Compassionate, Sensitive And Caring Of Others And Would Never Do That To Anyone Else. I'm Sure Your Decision Is Wise For You. Have A Great Trip And I Bet You'll Take Your Other Children Back Some Day And They'll Have A Great Time. They Surely Will Not Get Older And Hold This Against You. Children Love Unconditionally As Parents Do.

 

[GoofyBaseballMom26]

My goodness... some of you are being kinda hard on her aren't you. I think whatever your decision .. it is based on your best judgement and only you and your DH are really qualified to make the decison which is best for YOUR family.

When my sister and were growing up.. there were times when we did things separately and times when we did things together. I never remember looking back and wondering why I wasn't in a picture etc. We never grew up thinking that things had to always be equal all the time. I never felt more/less loved and we are as close now as when we were growing up. I've never understood why parents think everything has to be the same for all children all the time but that's a different discussion.

Take your boys and have fun.. there will be time to take everyone later when it is better for your family. It's still a family trip.. aren't you all family!

 

[DisneyMomx7]

I don't think people are being hard on the OP. When you ask for advice you might not always like the answers that are given.

 

[flipflop]

Advice is different from judgment.

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

Oh, I don't know - I think some of the responses could be viewed as a little heavy handed, especially to a poster with low post counts who might be new to the DIS.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and their own personal decision about what is right for their families. Since I don't know the original poster or her family I have no idea how difficult it would be to do Disney with her family.

I hope she has a wonderful trip with whom ever she takes on the vacation!