Were you spanked as a child? Do you spank your kids?

[MrsPete]

Yes, I was spanked as a child. I remember clearly knowing that I deserved it, and though I certainly didn't welcome the discipline, I never felt that my parents were doing anything wrong, nor did spanking -- or any other punishment they gave me -- hurt or relationship.

Yes, I've spanked my children -- again, appropriately. It's a technique that works and works quickly, especially with small children who aren't going to respond well to talking, etc.

Random thoughts on disciplining children:
- Spanking isn't the only punishment that works, but it does seem to work for ALL children when used appropriately.
- If you are very, very clear with your expectations -- every single day -- kids will obey more often (not always, of course), and you'll have to discipline your children less often.
- No matter what discipline technique you're using, consistancy is paramount.
- In our house, time-out was the least effective punishment ever. It seemed to take so much time (with the kids leaving the corner and having to re-start their time, and it never seemed to be effective in the least -- that is, it didn't seem to decrease the bad behavior from being repeated in the future.
-As they've grown older, we've not needed to discipline them much. They really are great kids and rarely disappoint us. I really think it's because we used discipline appropriately when they were younger.

 

[karibritt01]

What got us all to talking about it is that my DD (almost 2) seems to enjoy time-outs. In fact, she suggests time-outs when she doesn't want to follow directions. Obviously, I need to come up with something less attractive to her as a form of discipline.

Instead of having her sit where she can see things going on or go to her room, try making her stand with her nose on the wall and hands behind the back. Then leave the room. This puts her in a less comfortable position with nothing to look at, and it also takes away the attention she was seeking with the behavior.

I will let him throw his 'fake' temper tantrum on the floor for the entire evening and never give in to him. He knows this. I will go to him after about 10 minutes and distract him with a new activity but I WILL NOT give in to what he orginally wanted!

There again is an attention-seeking behavior. By going to him and distracting him, you are inadvertently fueling the behavior. I would always either walk out of the room when a kid was throwing a tantrum, or scoop them up and deposit them on their bed, walking out and shutting the door. The tantrum will be shorter lived without any kind of satisfaction on the child's part.

I have also had my mouth washed out with soap and it didn't kill me.

LOL I did this to my DS when he was 4. He decided to try spitting on people if he was mad or didn't get his way. The first several times we fussed, tried time-out, and spanking... nothing was working. We were on vacation at a hotel and he spit on me. I picked up a bar of dial soap and rubbed it on his tongue, telling him "Spitting is germy, and we use soap to get rid of germs!" About a week later he tried it again at home. Being at home, we only had liquid soap, so I wiped a glob of that on his tongue. He has never spit again!


Yes, I was spanked often as a child, and I always deserved it. I was never beaten, and I do not have emotional scars.

Yes my children have been spanked when I felt they deserved it, and when other discipline measures did not work. My kids have been spanked very rarely, but they do know that I will follow through if they can't behave. I don't think I have spanked either of them for several years now... just the threat is enough to get the wanted response. Our spankings have always been 1 smack, always open hand, and always on the butt.

 

[shortbun]

Because this topic certainly encompasses both. Right down party lines.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Because this topic certainly encompasses both. Right down party lines.

There is not one word about politics in this thread...nor does it necessarily split along party lines (my father, who I mentioned was abusive, is an Independent and chooses based on candidate not party.) I also would say it doesn't necessarily split along religious lines.

 

[mariolatry]

Yes, I was spanked as a child. My mother did it exactly right. First she would tell me what I was doing wrong and why I shouldn't do it (i.e. "Don't jump on the couch. You could fall off and hit your head."). Then I got a warning ("Do it again and you'll get a spanking". Then she would spank. She never did it out of anger. I always knew I deserved it if she did it.

I don't think I've ever spanked my first DD. She's such a people-pleaser that a stern look from me sets her crying for an hour. Then I had my second DD (nn Satan's Minion). Besides the normal trials of being a toddler, she is just a strong-willed, wily little firecracker. I have learned to be very creative in my parenting but sometimes she needs a spanking. She mostly gets them after I have tried one or two other methods first and warned her about being naughty again. Usually I give her a time out and she'll run straight out, resume what she's doing, and gleefully shout "Mommy, I do naughty!!" Now I can say "Do you need a spanking?" and she'll typically stop what she's doing.

 

[Mom2Nick]

No and NEVER!

 

[GothTink]

I was spanked as a child. One of the many reasons I do not spank my own children.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Because this topic certainly encompasses both. Right down party lines.

Once - and it is one of my most vivid memories as a child
Never - I never wanted my children's childhood memories about being hit.

Oh, and since I have grown kids - they turned out fantastic and have never disappointed us, and all without ever being spanked. Spanking is the lazy parent's way out.

 

[C.Ann]

1) There are scads of studies that show physical punishment has a negative impact on parent/child relationships, a child's intelligence, a child's mental health, etc. The vast majority of professionals do not consider spanking the best form of punishment.

If this were true, then the vast majority of children who were raised in the 50's would all have poor relationships with their parents; would have lower than average intelligence; and long standing mental health issues.. I can see where this might happen with abuse, but an open hand on a child's bottom - used sparingly and for serious infractions -is about as far from abuse as one can get..

It's a "blanket" statement - drawn from generalized studies.. Every single person walking this earth has their own individual personality - unlike any other individual.. Unless these studies have encompassed all of them, it doesn't carry much validity..

 

[teacups]

You can find "data" and "studies" to prove any point, on either side of any point. Sometimes common sense is much more reliable than some "professional opinion".

 

[manning]

I was spanked and only a couple of swats on the rear end. However it didn't happen until I was warned several times.

 

[scottishduffy]

Yes, I was spanked as a child. For the most part i don't remember any spankings as they all stopped before age 5. I only know because my parents have told me I was spanked.

I only ever remember two spanking my whole life. One at age 7 and one at age 8. I truly deserved those spankings and knew so at the time. Heck, if your kid decided to play ultra hide-and-seek and you had to call the police to do a 4 hour search you'd be peeved to. Especially considering I was watching them the whole time and knew they were looking for me. Each of those two times i had to sit in my room for 30-60 minutes to wait for the spanking. I suppose so Mom and Dad could calm down.

No children yet but I do plan to use spanking in the future. Not as a primary disciplinary tactic, but like my parents used it as a rare punishment for severe behavior. I foresee using spankings for things such as intentional defiance and very extreme behaviors to cut them short quickly. Otherwise time out, chores to compensate, and priviledge removal will be the primary disciplinary measures.

 

[Aisling]

Spanked (not beaten) as a child.

I never spanked my kids, but I'd get tough with them by changing my tone of voice and thank goodness it always worked.

 

[paintnolish]

I remember getting swatted on the leg a few times as a kid,usually seem to involve long car rides with my brother.

Haha...the memories...there were 4 of us as kids and we drove everywhere (inc. WDW at least once a year). We got pretty annoying in the car!

Also, I got a swat on the butt a few times growing up and so have my children.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Yes and Yes.

 

[TandT]

YES... I was spanked very hard as a child with many different objects....hand....belt....board...you name it.

NO...I would NEVER spank my children just because I know how it affected me as a child. I don't believe in it and never will.

 

[lisajl]

Yes I was. The only time I spanked my kids is if they ran out in the road.
That is what a wise pediatrician told me. Only spank your kids if they are doing something that will harm or kill them.

 

[LuvOrlando]

-

 

[tinkerdorabelle]

I raised 2 children (not my own) and never spanked. There is always a better way. Most of us know you don't even do that to animals why a child. Oh and yes my DB and I were spanked in our later childhood tween years with a large metal spoon on the back of the legs and I vowed never to do it.

 

[beattyfamily]

Yes

Yes but very rarely and not in a few years, probably not since age 4...they are 9 and 13 now.