Were you spanked as a child? Do you spank your kids?

[Golf4food]

Yes I was, and once we have kids yes I will, if nothing else works first.

 

[Darcy03231]

yes and yes, but never without warning. I'd always try something else first and warn if the behavior didn't stop the next thing would be a spanking. DD never had to be spanked and DS on a couple of times. As they got older it was more effective to take privileges/stuff away.

 

[Disney Ella]

1) Yes, always in anger, always would have been better ways to handle the situation that didn't involve violence.

2) Never

 

[tasha99]

Yes, I was spanked as a kid. I did spank my kids a few times, but they were for extreme safety violations that they'd been warned about. I can't even remember what they were, but that was my criteria and I know I did do it. I mostly put my kids into the corner (time out standing right there in the same room facing a corner). I couldn't do time out by sending them to their rooms because they had too good a time there.

 

[suzimar57]

yes i was spanked - but being spanked wasn't the worst, it was the other forms of physical/mental/verbal abuse my father inflicted on me

i have never spanked my son

 

[taylor1293]

I was spanked, although not often.

I have never spanked my own children.

It takes more patience and energy to not raise a hand to a child, but I discipline them in other ways. Don't get me wrong, there have been times when I've felt like it! My youngest is very emotional and can be exhausting at times.

Almost all of my friends spank (or spanked) their kids. They wonder how I manage to raise well behaved girls without hitting them. I just say it's all about consistent discipline and patience. It's not easy...but parenting isn't supposed to be .

 

[shellybaxter]

I was not spanked as a child and I do not spank. As a Child Development professional I can tell sometimes tell if a child is spanked at home because they exhibit anger and think hitting is okay and the way to solve problems

 

[pearlieq]

Yes, my mom spanked me a few times. Even back then I thought it was dumb.

No, I don't believe in spanking now. I think it's lazy parenting. It teaches a child nothing about how to make their way through the world.

 

[alexandria674]

I was hit as a child and I think there are some isolated cases where spanking is ok but I often take away my nephews toys, turn off the television and put them in time out. Afterwards I talk to them about why their behavior was not ok. If they mess up or misbehave while in time out, I start the clock again and they stay more in time out. Soon, they realize the only way to get their toys and television back is to obey me and then they sit quietly in their time out chairs until time is out.

I don't understand the logic of spanking a child after he hit someone else.

 

[mamacatnv]

Yes I was
Yes I did
With less frequency and severity than I received. I stopped at a much younger age (5) when other consequences became effective, by then we had established who was in charge and it was clear to everyone involved that it was not the youngin.

A swat or 2 or sometimes 3 on the butt with a wooden spoon to get DS's attention was quite effective

 

[2binak]

According to my parents, I was spanked 3 times in my life, but I don't remember any of them. Now that my DD is inching her way into toddlerhood, she's pushing the boundries sometimes but the thought of spanking her has never crossed my mind. A few times I've had to stop the nice, "Please do xyz for mommy" or "No thank you, mommy doesn't like when you do xyz" and I raise my voice and say "Stop!" This seems to work well enough. It seems that she thinks it's funny when she's not listening to me and when I raise my voice, she seems to know that I'm being seriuos and not joking or going along with her.

If she's standing on the couch, she is told "Please sit on the couch. We don't stand on the furniture" and then we sit her down, if she does it a 2nd time, we repeat "We don't stand on the furniture" and she is taken off of the couch and not allowed back on for a while. We've done this for a month and now when we say, "Please sit on the couch" or "We don't stand on the couch" she immediately sits down. So I'd like to think that our talking to her and showing her what is and isn't appropriate is working.

 

[DMickey28]

I honestly don't know if I was spanked.

I have not spanked my DS but do see that there could be circumstances when it would be something I would deem appropriate. My 'version' of a spanking would be more of a quick swat on the diaper to comman attention to a dangerous situation.

What seems to work with my little guy is the threat of an activity taken away or a favored experience (reading a book, going to the playground etc) taken away. I DO however follow through and have left the store, withheld his favorite book at bedtime and not gone to the playground. We also count to three and if he does what is asked within that time frame he does not get the action taken away. In such a short time he has already learned that I am serious about it. I will let him throw his 'fake' temper tantrum on the floor for the entire evening and never give in to him. He knows this. I will go to him after about 10 minutes and distract him with a new activity but I WILL NOT give in to what he orginally wanted!

He's 27 months.

 

[zachnsamsmommy]

Yes, I was spanked as a kid. I did spank my kids a few times, but they were for extreme safety violations that they'd been warned about. I can't even remember what they were, but that was my criteria and I know I did do it. I mostly put my kids into the corner (time out standing right there in the same room facing a corner). I couldn't do time out by sending them to their rooms because they had too good a time there.

pretty much the same as quoted poster...

I found that before they are old enough to reason with, spanking was sometimes necessary in an extremely dangerous situation (ie running towards the road, running away from me in a crowded place, etc.). Once I could reason with him, spanking stopped. Now as an 8 year old, losing priveledges works most every time.

 

[livie1205]

yes and I think my parents are the best parents in the world and I do NOT hold it against them.I only spank when they do something that could hurt them like being all crazy and running into the road or when no other punishment works.I would only spank on the bottom with my hand...and since I am a little person I am sure they can hardly feel it! lol I do not go all crazy with spanking though, it is not a first resort.I feel that a spank on the bottom is 100% dif then a beating...I think that calling someone a lazy parent because they spank their kids on the bottom is uncalled for.I know plenty of parents that do spank and are no means lazy parents,they are very involved and loving parents.

 

[JerseyMamaBear]

yes and yes

same here. now Im not talking big swats but as my daughter grabs for the outlets or something along those lines I do tap at her hand and tell her no thank you in a louder then normal voice. She has gotten much better at looking at me now when shes about to do it and all I have to say is no thank you and she walks away.

 

[luvsJack]

One spanks her son if he has a time-out.

What got us all to talking about it is that my DD (almost 2) seems to enjoy time-outs. In fact, she suggests time-outs when she doesn't want to follow directions. Obviously, I need to come up with something less attractive to her as a form of discipline. So she said that her son liked time-outs too, until she started spanking him during time-outs.

I wanted to comment on this because it is something we discussed over and over in child develpment training sessions. Two year olds really do need "time outs" sometimes that are not the punishment kind. Our two year old classrooms were always set up with a quiet area, just a place for a child to go to kind of "get away from it all". (quiet area with a bean bag chair and some books that was in an out of the way corner) Before we did this we had kids that would say, "I did so and so and I need a time out". They just wanted a break from everything.

Also, remember that following directions is not always easy for a two year old; don't give so many that she feels overwelmed. Sometimes a child will know they can't do everything their parent or caregiver is telling them to do and will sugget time out or whatever other punishment.


Finally, to answer your question: I was spanked a few times and I have spanked my children. But, I don't think it always works. My oldest and my youngest received no spankings because there was no need. All I had to do is threaten one time and whatever they were doing stopped. My middle child got many spankings. Spanking just did not work for him so I had to do other things. If you are spanking a child over and over for the same thing, its not working. You have to figure out what work for your individual child and go with that.

 

[momof1princess]

yes, i was spanked as a child, to the point of beating. at age 17, my mother beat me so hard with a brass belt buckle attached to a leather belt that the pin fell out of my watch (that holds watch to band) and it fell off my arm. why? because my car ran off the road in the fog (i couldn't see)...didn't wreck, just off the side of the road into the mud....she had to call my dad to go look for me. but i digress...

my daughter has gotten a swat on the behind maybe 4 times in her 12 years, and was only spanked once, because she caused a severe disturbance at school that caused a major situation for her teacher. i felt so guilty afterward, because i flashed back to all of the spankings i'd had as a child...i cried harder than she did and i swore i would never do it again. i haven't needed to. my DD is very polite, kind and well-behaved.

 

[binny]

I was spanked once in a while when I deserved it ( I think a handful of times really I was an ) and have done the same with my kids. Theyve each been spanked probably less than 10 times in their lives.

Im not against it as a policy I just dont need to it very often.

 

[tazdev3225]

I was "spanked" as a child. What my mom did went way beyond that word.
I did spank my children when they were small and my DS once when he was a teenager for cursing at me.
I now spank my grandkids since I watch them all day. I try to find other forms of punishment but that is sometimes a last resort. My kids and grandkids have only been swatted while in diapers to get their attention. My DGS is a different story. He gets paddled because nothing else works. He has run into the middle of the street, runs in circles away from you when he's told to come here, and generally gets into things that can be dangerous. I even kept him on a leash at T-ball because he kept running away. If somebody has a better solution I'd love to know what it is. I do have a degree in psychology and I can't even figure out anything else.

 

[sms]

No I was'nt.
I don't like to but, yes I do, only when it is really necessary!