Were you spanked as a child? Do you spank your kids?

[brios86]

I was never spanked as a child, but my mom did chase me around the house with a broom one night when I came home really drunk as a teenager... I guess I deserved that one

 

[Teresa Pitman]

I was spanked, did not spank my kids (they are now all adults) and think it is wrong. My grandchildren are not spanked either. And my kids have grown up to be wonderful people!

Teresa

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

... Some out there believe that a child will *always* remember how bad it felt to be spanked, how de-valued they felt, how they learned to solve problems with violence...

Some people think that they have been abducted by aliens, too.

Yes, I was spanked. It kept me in line. I am glad that my parents found something that worked. Frankly, I don't remember ever getting spanked - but my parents tell me that I was, so I believe them.

Yes, I spanked (though I stopped when they were still toddlers). Neither of my boys remembers ever getting spanked, but they believe that I will spank them if they act up - and I haven't spanked them in years. It would seem that they remember the lesson, but not the spanking itself...

Spare the rod, spoil the child. I love my boys too much not to have spanked them.

 

[MickeyMomTo2]

Yes, I was spanked. It was out of love, and it was a tool used to train me. It worked, and I have no "issues".

Yes, I spank my kids for 1)deliberate disobedience and 2)disrespect toward parents. It is not done in anger (if I am angry, I separate myself from them before disciplining them). I also believe that communication is equally is important, so there are conversations that go along with spankings. If you asked my kids, they would probably say the conversations are the real punishment.

 

[Minnesota!]

no and yes.

My parents didn't believe in it and my brother is the product of that.

I believe in spanking (when its justfied).

 

[justhat]

Yes, I was, and no, I don't spank my kids. I do remember being spanked as a kid. As you would imagine, I hated it. I was never abused, just one swat, but it truly just made me feel helpless. Not like you can hit back or anything. You realize this larger person has immense power over you and it's intimidating. Yes, of course parents should have power and control over their kids, but not through fear like that.

I have never felt inclined to spank my kids because I know anytime that happened to me it was definitely because I made my parents so angry they reacted out of anger, it was irrational. I really try to avoid that, though of course it is very hard at times. I don't want to bully or intimidate them into listening, I'd rather try other methods first. So far it hasn't been a problem and as they get older setting logical consequences for poor behavior works better and better.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Yes, I was spanked by both my mother and my grandmother, then I was usually sent to think about my actions. I was never really bad, so I wasn't spanked much and I tunred out much better than the rest of the kids in the family.

Yes, if I had children and felt that they needed a spanking,they would get one. I will not hesitate to spank my cousin's children if after several attempts they don't listen to me, but that has happened only once or twice in their lives.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with spanking, as long as it isn't abusive. I knew that even though I sometimes needed a spanking mom didn't do it out of anger, she did it out of love and she made sure I knew that she loved me.

Suzanne

 

[Liberty Belle]

Yes, I was spanked by both my mother and my grandmother, then I was usually sent to think about my actions. I was never really bad, so I wasn't spanked much and I tunred out much better than the rest of the kids in the family.

Yes, if I had children and felt that they needed a spanking,they would get one. I will not hesitate to spank my cousin's children if after several attempts they don't listen to me, but that has happened only once or twice in their lives.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with spanking, as long as it isn't abusive. I knew that even though I sometimes needed a spanking mom didn't do it out of anger, she did it out of love and she made sure I knew that she loved me.

Suzanne

I'm assuming they've ok'd that? Like I said, I spanked my oldest a few times when he was younger, but if anyone else (even grandparents) were to lay a hand on him, I would be furious.

 

[brockash]

One spanks her son if he has a time-out.

What got us all to talking about it is that my DD (almost 2) seems to enjoy time-outs. In fact, she suggests time-outs when she doesn't want to follow directions. Obviously, I need to come up with something less attractive to her as a form of discipline. So she said that her son liked time-outs too, until she started spanking him during time-outs.

My DD (28 months) is the same way. She acts like time outs are a game. I think it's because she sees her older brother get them from time to time, so I think she thinks it's cool Drives me nuts, but we keep doing them, and I'm hoping that by some miracle one day she'll calm down and start behaving. She's sooo much harder than my DS was. Good luck to you.

 

[Anne34]

yes and yes, but never without warning. I'd always try something else first and warn if the behavior didn't stop the next thing would be a spanking. DD never had to be spanked and DS on a couple of times. As they got older it was more effective to take privileges/stuff away.

I am the same way -- I have spanked my kids, but they were always warned first. If they did it anyway they got a swat on the butt..(nothing but my hand) and it was usually for something dangerous -- running into the street when they were young, etc.

Now, it is much more effective to take away stuff.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

I was spanked way too much as a child by my mother, the last time being the night before my wedding and I was 22 years old. I guess my mother just had to get one more in.

No I have never spanked my kids and they turned out alot more confident and self assured than I have ever been.

 

[jamimb]

Yes I was spanked as a child but never out of anger and as an adult I adore my parents. I don't think its a matter of whether you spank or not but how you spank and how often. To me ther is a right and wrong way to go about it.

Yes I also on occasion spank my own children.

OP everyone I know has spanked their children at least once so I was actually suprised when I discovered (through the DIS of course) that alot of people don't spank their kids at all.

For those who don't spank did you ever swat your child on the hand when they were a toddler?

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I was spanked way too much as a child by my mother, the last time being the night before my wedding and I was 22 years old. I guess my mother just had to get one more in.

That is not a spanking - that is assault and battery...

 

[belledreamer]

To me, it really depends on the child.

Me, yes I was spanked. But I had plenty of warning beforehand and for me, I only had to be spanked once and I wouldn't do it again. Never with a belt, and for me it wasn't necessary to spank me after age 4 because by then I knew better.

On the other hand, my dad has an "Evil Eye" look that worked just as good...



My parents also used other forms of punishment, cleaning the mess I had made, taking away a toy or TV, couldn't go to a friends house, etc. Although, I'm not a believer in the "Time-out" method since "Johnny sitting in chair in the corner" to me is not punishment.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I'm assuming they've ok'd that? Like I said, I spanked my oldest a few times when he was younger, but if anyone else (even grandparents) were to lay a hand on him, I would be furious.

She has no problem with my disciplining her children if they are in my care. She expects them to behave and if they don't, I am to punish them. I have only had to spenk them once or twice in their lives, usually if you get onto them once, they will straighten up.

This is the way our family was raised, if you were with another family member and you misbehaved and they had to punish you, you must have needed it. And, if grandmother spanks you and you run tell granddaddy, you will get another spanking (didn't happen to me but one time before I learned my lesson) for telling on grandmother, or whoever that family member was). I was raised by my mom and her mother and mom worked full time, so my grandmother was in charge or my aunt when she was around..

I have also had my mouth washed out with soap and it didn't kill me. I also didn't say that ugly word again.

Suzanne

 

[ladycollector]

I was spanked. I don't feel like it taught me much but to be scared lol.

I dont plan to spank but my boyfriend believes in it and is one of the most wonderful, good natured, southern gentleman, I could ever ask for so it obviously didn't hurt him.

We will probably have to come to an agreement. lol - not helpful huh?

 

[Nik's Mom]

I was spanked once, but threatened to be spanked many times. My mom would show us her fist and we'd stop dead in our tracks. DH was spanked.

We do not spank our children. They are autistic and I just don't believe they would learn a lesson by spanking. When they were younger, they were put on time out if they did something bad. They really haven't done anything to deserve a spank. They are pretty well-behaved. I always get compliments on how good the kids are. We use a reward board and if the kids do something wrong, they lose a star. Or I can take something away, like movie time or video game time.

 

[justhat]

I have 1 friend who spanks out of my circle, that's it. Locally anyway. I have out of state friends and I really don't know what they do as I don't see them often and have never asked. I don't care what they, or anyone does, my stance is just how I feel about it having been spanked and how the idea of spanking my kids makes me feel. Others may not have those feelings and that is totally fine with me, not my kids so not my problem.


Regarding swatting on the hands, no, never. My kids are in a Montessori school and they periodically give out handouts about discipline and stuff and 1 thing they are firm about is no swatting/hitting the hands. Their approach is that children learn and explore through their hands, and by hitting them to correct a behavior (such as touching something dangerous), you're taking away their natural inclination to learn hands-on. I really haven't done any research on this since hand swatting was never something I did or was interested in doing, but it does make some sense. Not with every kid of course, but if you repeatedly hit their hands for touching various things, they're likely to touch less (which of course can be good!), but then they lose that sense a bit.

 

[quasar4legs]

No and No.
Our family resolves conflict without violence.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

Yes, my dad had a policy of spank first and ask questions later. He wasn't a bad dad, and he wasn't a drunken abuser. He was a dad doing what dad's did in the 60's.

I rarely hit my own child, we did the time-outs and such. I did hit him one time with a wooden spoon square across is tender bottom. From that point on I only had to go near where I kept the wooden spoon and he would straighten his act right up.

I do not condone beating children, but I do think today's parents have a challenge disciplining their children.