Went to the Cemetary today.. Question and Complaint

[Melora]

I finally was able to locate my dads death certificate because we could not put him into the wall with my mom unless we had some sort of legal paperwork. My mom kept everything but the problem is that there was SO much of everything it took forever to find what we needed.

SO anway, we drove over there to drop that off and I also to tell them what I want on the plaque. I couldn't remember what the plaque was going to look like so I had Jeff drive me back to where the wall is and I went up to look at the other plaques and see what others had written and how much room I had etc. (All the plaques are the same size and shape.)

I looked at every thing and then noticed a sign that said they were gong to be implementing a new policy that will not allow anything other than cut flowers to be left by walls and gravesites. No potted flowers, no toys for the babies, and no windchimes. I mention windchimes because the placewhere I chose to put my parents had a beautiful large tree right in front and there were benches and gardens and lots of windchimes in the tree itself. It was so pretty and tranquil and the windchimes sounded so delicate and relaxing. Thats the main reason I paid extra for that spot.

At first I didnt know what to make of the sign and when I asked Jeff about he said they will in all likelihood be taking down everything that people had left there. Including all the chimes.

I was already feeling like I was close to bursting into tears just from reading all the markers, but that sent me over the edge. I just started crying so hard and then I couldn't even think of what I wanted it to say on the plaque. We ended up leaving with out filling out that paperwork because I was so upset.

How can they do that? I can't imagine I will be the only one upset by this. Jeff said he didn't know how they could tell parents not to bring small stuffed animals or other objects and put them by their childs grave. The sign said it was "to maintain a certain look". I think they were meaning they want it to look neat etc.

Now I wish I hadnt spent the extra money to have them put in that garden. I could have picked another garden that didnt have the trees. I havent called them yet but I plan on it. Right now I'm still too upset to talk to them about it.

I realize I'm probably just still too emotional since its only been a month since my mom died and maybe I'm making more out of it then I should, but if they really are going to take all those chimes down.... I will be really really upset.

I do have a quesiotn though. Because I couldnt think well enough to figure out what I wanted on the marker I was wondering what other people have put on markers they have had to place.

I will put their names and birth/death dates.. but I have a whole area in the middle that I can say something else but don't know what to say. I thought about saying "Together Forever" but that doesnt seem like enough.

Thanks in advance for helping out the emotionally crippled.

 

[Micca]

Melora I am sorry you are going through this (as if it hasn't been enough already). I think you are smart to wait until you are in less emotional turmoil to deal with this, as this is a business problem and that's how it will be resolved. Best of luck on this deal, it sure doesn't sound fair to me.

 

[sissybells]

In the cemetery where my Grandma is buried they ask if you have put anything out to have it taken up on a certain day if you want to keep it to put out again. That is so it is easier for them to mow the grass and do the upkeep on the land. I'm not sure if that is what they might be doing in your case, but you would think they could do like they do here and just ask for you to come and get what you want to put back out after they are done mowing and stuff. Also the plaque that we have for her says
" If many were Loved by one then surely we, If one were Loved by many than surely thee. I hope this helps you. I'm sorry to here of your loss.

 

[momm2four]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad when my second son was 3 weeks old, so I can imagine that having to deal with the arrangements is a difficult thing to do.

As far as what to put on the plaque, we have a headstone instead of a plaque for my dad, but on the bottom my mom had the words "Our Children" at the bottom with my name and my brother's name (first and middle)

Lori P.