Well this takes the cake....I give up.

[mumom95]

Wow, that is one of the most unbelievably rude things I've ever heard. And she tried to make it sound like she was slightly grateful by adding the "it is the thought that counts" partl. Which in my opinion makes it worse. If you are going to be a witch, then be straight about it, don't try and sugar coat your witchiness.

I agree with the others that have said you need to call her out on it. Or have your husband do it. Like a previous poster said family members end up getting away with stuff like that because noone ever calls them out on it. She NEEDS to be called out on this. Heck, give me her number, I'll call her out on it.

Unbelievable.....simply unbelievable.....

 

[Mary•Poppins]

I have to add to this post also that she is one RUDE person! I agree with others that you should just ignore her. What does your DF think of this?

She should be very lucky you sent that much! I would just continue sending the same gift certificates each year.

 

[EllaM]

I agree with the others that have said you need to call her out on it. Or have your husband do it. Like a previous poster said family members end up getting away with stuff like that because noone ever calls them out on it. She NEEDS to be called out on this. Heck, give me her number, I'll call her out on it.

LOL. You're funny. I can see your fingers twitching to get to the phone.

I'm mixed on the response. Something tells me SIL knew her words were offensive and she wanted to make an issue of it. That comment about the OP not having kids is even more hurtful to me. Who does that?

 

[ilovejack02]

Simple message back:

Thank you for your thoughtful response to the Christmas presents for this year. As you well know, you financial situation has been a difficult one this year, however we have made sacrifices to make sure your children, our beloved nieces and nephews, got something from us this Christmas.
As per your instructions, we will make sure that the money next year goes to something much worthier, and will make a charitable donation in their name instead. This way the children will not have to worry about which toys they can and cannot get, but rather revel in the joy of giving to others in the spirit of the holiday season.

Seasons greetings!

xxxx

I love this, you are totally calling her a WITCH ; ) between the lines and being "kind" all at the same time. LOL

I see you haven't responded and its driving them nuts, thats funny!

 

[DeluxePrincess]

My kids routinely get $25 Toys R Us cards here and there throughout the year. Finding something to spend them on has NEVER been a problem. Sounds like her kids must only want expensive video games and things. If they wanted to save them up for something bigger, that's fine, but why the email? It's just plain rude!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

But see this is the thing--people like this get away saying these type of horrifying things because people say 'ignore it, it's just they way they are' or 'let it go'. They continue to act like jerks and go around with this I am so much better than you attitude. I would tell her up front her comment was out of line, and that she is the spoiled brat. You know I am so blessed in my life both materially and with a wonderful family. And I would never in a million years ever make this comment, but more importantly, I never even thought it or raise my kids to think it. My kids were always raised to make a big fuss over any goft they got, give a hug and a kiss of thanks, or phone call and a converstaion saying thanks. And if it happened to be something they already had, the learned to do the same with the gift-thanks so much, etc. I think this women is awful, selfish, self-centered and haughty.

Ah, the thing is you have to look at "intent". The intent of the email from the SIL to the OP is to aggravate her on purpose and pull her into a "fight".

Since you don't have people around like that you have to understand you have about 4 choices.

1) You can say something and fight with them if you want. And sometimes that does happen depending on the fight. You play the game.

2) You can say your canned sarcasm like DisneyDoll stated but that takes practice.

3) You can assess and then decide her complaining about "whatever" is not enough to work yourself up over. This is the best route to take if you want a relationship with the family. Esp. if you are close to the kids. Sometimes it is necessary depending on the circumstances. Mental illness is case where you have to tread lightly.

4) You decide that you no longer want to involve yourself with toxic people and cut them off forever or you can attempt a heartfelt conversation in which you tell them what they did, and what you won't put up with however you have to be prepared to burn the bridge if you do this.

I put this at 3, but that is just me. I don't see some crazy inlaw complaining about the gift as something to get excited about. I put it at par for the course in the OPs situation.

 

[krcit]

But see this is the thing--people like this get away saying these type of horrifying things because people say 'ignore it, it's just they way they are' or 'let it go'. They continue to act like jerks and go around with this I am so much better than you attitude. I would tell her up front her comment was out of line, and that she is the spoiled brat. You know I am so blessed in my life both materially and with a wonderful family. And I would never in a million years ever make this comment, but more importantly, I never even thought it or raise my kids to think it. My kids were always raised to make a big fuss over any goft they got, give a hug and a kiss of thanks, or phone call and a converstaion saying thanks. And if it happened to be something they already had, the learned to do the same with the gift-thanks so much, etc. I think this women is awful, selfish, self-centered and haughty.

I get what you're saying but in a case like this where this is usual behavior for the SIL, it's pointless to engage. She knows she was rude, she is trying to start something. She's a bully and I ignore bullies, that bothers them more than anything else. If OP goes back at SIL, then SIL runs to other SIL and MIL and they go on from there. Don't give them any ammo, they are not worth it.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

This one is easy - tell the woman that the gift is from you to the children. It is what you can afford and if it isn't good enough, please return it as you can use the money for something else. No way would I let her use them to buy something bigger for her kids.

Then give them to the kids directly the next time that you see them - problem solved. Well, the woman is still in the family. Maybe punch your husband for the grief that his sister is causing you...

 

[focusondisney]

sorry, double post.

 

[focusondisney]

I like the 2 word response. But my 2 words would be "Your welcome."


That's all. Just those 2 words. The proper, polite response. It would probably make her more crazy.

And then next year, go with the noisy, obnoxious toys you are planning!

 

[sandramaac]

any new news on this OP????

 

[Bob NC]

I'm just not buying it. I don't believe anyone sent this email to a gift-giver.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I'm just not buying it. I don't believe anyone sent this email to a gift-giver.

So you either think OP is a liar or that family is not that selfish?

I believe it. If I told you my sister's IL's drama right now, you would think I got it from a Lifetime movie.

 

[Becky2005]

So you either think OP is a liar or that family is not that selfish?

I believe it. If I told you my sister's IL's drama right now, you would think I got it from a Lifetime movie.

That is my family. The saying "truth is stranger than fiction" tends to apply quite often. I'm pretty sure if I put it all together in one place, most people would think I was making it all up.

I tend to believe what is posted until proven otherwise.

 

[DawnM]

Well, since I have a MIL who would say things like this and worse, I am buying it. I once gave her one pound of a pricey chocolate that she liked and she said, "Only one pound? Why bother?" UGH!

Dawn

I'm just not buying it. I don't believe anyone sent this email to a gift-giver.

 

[DawnM]

What did your DF say about it? I would let HIM handle it and talk to her, this isn't your battle.

Dawn

 

[DawnM]

I'd forward her e-mail to everyone in the family and let them know that SIL's e-mail must have been hacked, because no one would send such a tacky, ungracious, inappropriate and thoughtless e-mail to their family. Best for te entire family to block SIL's e-mail address for the time being.

 

[disney1990]

My granddaughters at 10 and 12 and one of their favorite places to show is Five Below -- everything there is $5.00 or below. How rude to write such a comment on a thank you note.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'm just not buying it. I don't believe anyone sent this email to a gift-giver.

I believe it because my crazy SisIL has done the same thing t me.

Like I said, I've had a lot of practice.

 

[Teacher03]

Simple message back:

Thank you for your thoughtful response to the Christmas presents for this year. As you well know, you financial situation has been a difficult one this year, however we have made sacrifices to make sure your children, our beloved nieces and nephews, got something from us this Christmas.
As per your instructions, we will make sure that the money next year goes to something much worthier, and will make a charitable donation in their name instead. This way the children will not have to worry about which toys they can and cannot get, but rather revel in the joy of giving to others in the spirit of the holiday season.

Seasons greetings!

xxxx

I love this response.