Well this takes the cake....I give up.

[WDWisTheBest]

I was reading through the thread in amazement. Everyone had great ideas on how to handle the SIL.

OP, I am glad your SIL is going nuts from no response! Love it!

I agree with you, everyone had great ideas. This thread is amazing. I was not going to comment, but, after reading the responses, just thought I would add a great "thumbs up" to everyone.

 

[Jennasis]

14 pages and everyone STILL agrees with each other AND the OP??? Nary a cross word, an admonishment, a coulda/shoulda/woulda or a flame anywhere??

It's a DIS Christmas MIRACLE!!!!

HALLELUJIAH!!

 

[dakcp2001]

14 pages and everyone STILL agrees with each other AND the OP??? Nary a cross word, an admonishment, a coulda/shoulda/woulda or a flame anywhere??

It's a DIS Christmas MIRACLE!!!!

Halelujiah! Halelujiah!

And I am so grateful! Too much interaction with the in laws and I start to feel crazy and doubt myself. I feel vindicated. Moving away from them all has been one of the best decisions ever. It is a Christmas miracle.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well you guys are correct, it is driving her nuts that I have not responded. I got a follow up email from her saying "she hopes I wasnt offended" and also an email from other SIL asking "what is the deal with you and other sis" so it is driving them nuts. I havent called or emailed either one of them. I told df about the email he rolled his eyes, laughed, and apologized on behalf of his entire family. lol. He does have a good sense of humor.

Next year they are getting the loudest most annoying toys I can locate and I am sending them last minute. WITH batteries of course.

That is funny. My advice was to ignore her.

I do admit enjoying your response DisneyDoll however I don't have that kind of control. I put a little "too mean" in the response and cannot do the "Southern Belle" thing.

I would continue to ignore and leave it at that. Obviously she was baiting you with the email and I would be damned before I responded to it.

 

[LisaR]

The other option is to write back to SIL and say, "Offended about what?" and make her actually explain why she thinks you'd be offended.

SIL: "Well, about me saying that the $25 wasn't enough for a toy for the kids."

OP: "Oh that. Yeah ... that was really rude. Everyone thought so."

And then just leave it at that. And keep her wondering who "everyone" is.

Heh.

Now here's where I might "play" with her a bit (I am the evil Sis-IL ). I'd play dumb and say "Offended? About what?". When she responded something to the effect of "Well, because of my comment about the gift cards" I would probably respond "Oh honey, I learned a long time ago not to be offended by your lack of knowledge about appropriate behavior. I know you can't help yourself so I just consider the source and let it go". This, of course, has to be said in a sort of almost sickeningly sweet Southern belle kind of way with just a tinge of pity.

.

While I really like both of these approaches, there is an inherent flaw that neither of you took into consideration. Both of you expect the SIL to come back with an appropriate response when asked, "Offended? About what?" The problem is, this person seems like a rather self centered individual who would likely respond with, "Oh, you're right. I didn't say anything wrong. Silly me. By the way, can you up the gift card amount next year by about $50 so we don't have to go through this again? Thanks!" I am guessing she isn't one to admit to being rude and tacky. I am guessing she sent the email to the OP just to bait her into arguing.

OP, I commend you for keeping your cool and not responding to her. I would have made the situation much worse with my nasty follow up email to her. Sometimes it really is best to keep your mouth shut and leave the other person guessing.

 

[Bren's Mom]

I just saw this...but I'll add to the 'your SIL is rude beyond words' votes!

 

[fairygirl]

holy moly! That takes some seriously large..., well, you know!

What is WRONG with people? What would possess a person to think that was an acceptable response to ANY gift??? I don't care if you send $5 gift cards - a person should be THANKFUL for ANY gift...and that is even regardless of any financial troubles the giver is having.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with people like that - I would have a hard time keeping my mouth shut! Sounds like that is a pretty good way to go, though, since it is apparently driving her nuts! Brilliant!

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

i just bought my 13 year old cousin the Jonas Brothers DS game for $14.99 and they had a ton of other games in that price range last time I checked.

 

[Evil Genius]

No response needed. This would be the last year however that I would be sending anything to her and the family. When she asks why tell her you didn't want to burden her or her children with unnecessary gifts

 

[Lucky4me]

Oh please do not ever speak of that email with any of your dh's family- EVER.
It will drive them up a wall and that will be the best revenge.
You know she knows what she did was not only awful, but totally untrue.
Let her rot in her own nasty words.
In the meantime, you let it go. Next year, send what you can afford.
You have to wonder if someone like that even gives the gifts to the kids and/or gives credit to the person who sent them. Somehow I doubt it.

 

[Disney Doll]

That is funny. My advice was to ignore her.

I do admit enjoying your response DisneyDoll however I don't have that kind of control. I put a little "too mean" in the response and cannot do the "Southern Belle" thing.

I would continue to ignore and leave it at that. Obviously she was baiting you with the email and I would be damned before I responded to it.

I've known my crazy SisIL for 22 years...I've had a lot of practice..

 

[jen0610]

No response needed. This would be the last year however that I would be sending anything to her and the family. When she asks why tell her you didn't want to burden her or her children with unnecessary gifts

Or better yet, if she was to ask why no gifts next year, forward her a copy of the email she sent you, along with a copy of the web link for this thread and say please read. It'll explain it all to her.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Oh I'd respond. Two words. That's all I would need.


Perhaps you could send her a link to this thread? Be thankful you don't live near these loons anymore.

Yep. Two words. I might even add a third!

 

[sandramaac]

But see this is the thing--people like this get away saying these type of horrifying things because people say 'ignore it, it's just they way they are' or 'let it go'. They continue to act like jerks and go around with this I am so much better than you attitude. I would tell her up front her comment was out of line, and that she is the spoiled brat. You know I am so blessed in my life both materially and with a wonderful family. And I would never in a million years ever make this comment, but more importantly, I never even thought it or raise my kids to think it. My kids were always raised to make a big fuss over any goft they got, give a hug and a kiss of thanks, or phone call and a converstaion saying thanks. And if it happened to be something they already had, the learned to do the same with the gift-thanks so much, etc. I think this women is awful, selfish, self-centered and haughty.

 

[Sugardimples]

I would never send them another gift. And please don't tell me "it's for the children". Just stop.

 

[sandramaac]

and you know what, next years gift would be a $25 or less toy times that number of kids made as a donation to a child at homeless shelter or church group and a card made out to you sister's kids acknowledging their thoughtfull donation at christmas

 

[sandramaac]

I would never send them another gift. And please don't tell me "it's for the children". Just stop.

and I agree, she is raising the kids to think as herself---the kids won't repect anything thet get--make the donation instead in their names

 

[Liberty Belle]

Unbelievable. That is the epitome of rudeness.

Even if you'd sent $3 each, she would be incredibly rude to write such ridiculous nonsense. But, even if you did send $3, a child could find something they'd like to have. I know I could.

Twenty-five dollars is more than enough for a child to pick out a really nice toy.

Let's see...what I've got my 8 year old so far:

Duck shooting game (a gun with laser shoots a duck that is actually flying around the room) - got it on sale for $21.

Cotton Candy maker -got it on sale for $16.

Punching bag with boxing gloves - on sale for $23

DS puzzle game - $15

Shower head that glows red or blue depending on water temp - $10

Pictionary Man - got it on sale and with online coupon code for $12

Paperjamz guitar - got on sale and had coupon code for $16

Microscope set - got on sale and had coupon code for $22

Video watch - $45 - the only thing over 25!

 

[okeydokey]

14 pages and everyone STILL agrees with each other AND the OP??? Nary a cross word, an admonishment, a coulda/shoulda/woulda or a flame anywhere??

It's a DIS Christmas MIRACLE!!!!

HALLELUJIAH!!

I think it happens about once a year too!

 

[Certifiable WDW Nut]

I think (NOT REALLY!) that you should post her email address and let us all spam her with what we think of her.

If we can't do that, I go along with just ignoring her. That seems to be working so far.