Welcome To The Caribbean, Love ~ Updated 5-27 P52

[that's nice]

Hey TK... just checking in to see what was new. Hope the house is treating you well.

 

[TarzansKat]

I hope you and your boys had a great Easter!

Thanks, you as well!

Speaking of boys, how are the nephews?

Hey TK... just checking in to see what was new. Hope the house is treating you well.

Doing good! Hoping to get a new post up soon, either of trip stuff or reno stuff or both.

 

[brookelizabeth]

hope all is well with you this week.

 

[TarzansKat]

hope all is well with you this week.

Thank you.

Yesterday was the anniversary of my mom's passing, so I appreciate the hugs.

 

[TarzansKat]

This past Thursday was the anniversary of my mother's passing. I'd been talking to people about gratitude and intent. If you start your day in this way, it sort of frames your whole day with a positive outlook. On Thursday, I started my day grateful that I had such an amazing mother, and with the intent of remembering how well she lived.

And you know what? On Thursday, I wasn't terribly sad. I felt as though a weight had been lifted. Some people feel a sense of renewed beginning on January 1st? I felt it on April 28th. It was as though my year could finally begin.

We have been through so much as a family in the past year. I lost my mother. I had a baby. My oldest went to kindergarten. I quit my job to stay at home with my children. We bought a house...am I missing anything here? Suffice it to say, it's been a lot. I've never had a year quite like this one. I remember the year I got married, I got married, got a new job, and moved, but honestly? That seemed stressful at the time, but is peanuts compared to this past year.

But then it occurred to me that there is one last hurdle to overcome, and that's this trip.

Once we got into the house, I have to tell you, I was so excited about the Disney vacation. We just relinquished the keys to our apartment on Saturday, so we're no longer straddling two places. Once we were officially here, I just felt, oh my gosh! WE'RE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!!

We talk about it all the time. My husband is so excited, Nemo, Nana, and I. Squirt doesn't know what he's in for, but I can't wait to take him. I find myself wishing that our trip was longer. I know that five days is really the right amount of time for a first trip with the baby, but gosh, I do wish I was going for more!

And although I have an unbelievable amout of joy for the trip, it's bittersweet.

It's the first trip without Mom.

It's hard to even write that. It's the first trip without Mom. She may be there in spirit...she may be the best angel I could ever have...but I still wish she could be there in the flesh. That's just part of how we are as human beings. We may know in our hearts that our loved ones are in heaven, living it up, and totally at peace, but we still want them here.

And honestly? I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think I can be a little selfish and say, I'm glad she's at peace, but I wish she was here. And both of those statements can be true at the same time. That's something that I've learned over the past year. That it doesn't have to be all cut and dry. That you can feel two conflicting emotions and it's okay to hold them in your heart and not be conflicted. It's okay to have those moments where you want both things. It's part of life, it's part of living.

And living is something that I thoroughly intend to do. Now that we've made it through a year, even though we have this trip as the last sort of official marker that Mom is gone, I feel like I can breathe again. Like maybe I'm ready for a little quiet. Just a bit of peace, just some time to relax.

I'm so glad we're going to Disney World. And I'm so glad that we picked the Caribbean Beach to stay at. The relaxation of that resort is going to be absolutely perfect for us.

I can't wait to go.

Good thing there are only 26 days left. 26 days! Amazing.

Now I know you've all been waiting very patiently for photos. Of the house, of my trip purchases, and I promise, they're coming. Right now, my memory card is full up, and I'm going to be purchasing another one.

Previously, there were two women who took the photos of our Disney trips. Now, it's just me. I'm thinking a 4GB memory card is probaby a good idea.

Anyway, I'm hoping to get out later in the week and get that accomplished, and then we'll really get the ball rolling.

It's time to talk about clothes. Packing lists.

Tie dye.

It's time.

 

[KatMark]

Kat, what a great update and I'm glad the day was not too difficult for you. I truly felt the same way at the one-year anniversary of my dad's passing. His 85th birthday would be this Friday and, although I miss him, I'm just thankful for the time I had him.

Can't wait to see the pictures! Bring them on, girl.

 

[TarzansKat]

Kat, what a great update and I'm glad the day was not too difficult for you. I truly felt the same way at the one-year anniversary of my dad's passing. His 85th birthday would be this Friday and, although I miss him, I'm just thankful for the time I had him.

Can't wait to see the pictures! Bring them on, girl.

I hear you. I'm so grateful that I got to have such an awesome mom. It occurred to me, a lot of people don't have the relationship with their mothers that I did, and I am really lucky.

Ha! I so need to get the memory card I have now all cleaned up and pictures on disks. I'm behind, I'm behind, and my nemesis is the new house!

 

[MRYPPNS]

I'm so very happy that you are excited for your trip! Make sure you have time for the boys to play at the kiddie water area at CBR!!

 

[TarzansKat]

I'm so very happy that you are excited for your trip! Make sure you have time for the boys to play at the kiddie water area at CBR!!

For sure! The Monday we're there, we have no park plans except a dinner reservation in the evening. Our goal is to enjoy the resort, and Nemo is begging to play at the "pool park" as he calls it. I showed him the pictures of the pirate ship online, and he is in love!

 

[that's nice]

Happy Mothers Day!!!!

 

[TarzansKat]

Thanks, Tim! How's Mel doing?

 

[TarzansKat]

more underprepared for a trip in my entire life. I vaguely know my flight times. I vaguely know my ADR times. I've started making a list of the lists I need to make.

That's how bad it is.

It's been a rough couple of weeks over here. Last year, before my mother passed, she was visiting an aunt in Florida. A couple of weeks ago, that aunt passed. I loved her dearly, and although we expected it (she had cancer) it's still saddening. I like to think of her up there in heaven having tea with my mom.

Then yesterday, a man who treated me like one of his own children, and considered me his goddaughter even though officially I wasn't, passed. He and my father were best friends who had known each other since they were small boys. He, also, had cancer. The difference was that I got to say goodbye to my godfather.

On Mother's Day, I left the boys at home with MJS, and went to the hospital, spending a few hours there with him and his children (all around my age), and when I left, we made eye contact, and I tossed off a comment that made him laugh, which was such a treat, and he smiled, and I told him I loved him.

Which is funny, because even though I obviously do love him, I think that was the first time I'd said it.

I'm very lucky. And even though I feel terribly for them, his children are very lucky. Because they knew this was coming, they were able to plan everything, to relive their stories, to say their last goodbyes.

I hate to sound selfish, but I can't help but think of how I never got that with my mother. And I'm just sad that we've experienced so much loss lately. Even though my godfather was prepared and honestly, if I could meet death head on with half the grace and dignity he possessed, I'd be proud of myself. He was amazing. And I just consider myself lucky that even though he was in and out those last few days, that I was able to see him and say my goodbye.

Which really isn't goodbye, but more like, see you later.

So there we have it.

This weekend I'm hoping to get things organized for the trip. I need to print our itinerary, our flight info, all that good stuff. I need to get a handle on whether or not we need any toiletries, any camera batteries...all those things that normally, I'd have taken care of by now but have just fallen by the wayside. Some days I feel like I'm just lucky to make it through in one piece.

And even though I've been doing really well, losing my godfather has hit me really hard.

One day at a time.

 

[KatMark]

Oh, Kat...you have had a rough go of it lately. I'm so sorry to hear the news about yoru Aunt and your Godfather; I'm sorry you didn't get to see your Aunt, but that you were able to spend some time with your Godfather and let him know how much you loved him.

As you said, it takes one day at a time...and sometimes, one step at a time.

You know that CBR has shampoo/conditioner, etc., so you can probably knock that off your list (unless you are like me and spoiled with your own product). You'll get the list going...I have faith in you.

I'm sending you a big my friend.

 

[Nermel9]

Oh, Kat. I'm so sorry about your godfather. This sounds so stupid, but when it rains, it really pours, doesn't it? I'm glad you at least got to tell him you love him and say goodbye. And it's not at all selfish to wish you had that with your mom, it's only natural.

I'm so glad your Disney trip is coming up so soon, you and your family need to relax and have some fun!

 

[All7OfUs]

I"m so sorry that you had yet another couple of good-byes to make, Kat! No matter how much you feel "prepared" they are still painful and permanent- at least on this side of life. The trip will fall into place no matter how you plan or not, just the way it's supposed to. One step at a time.

 

[MeMom]

Thoughts and prayers go out to/for you as you anticipate this trip in a good way, yet with a tinge of sorrow. You honor your mother in the way you live your life. She'll be there with you at every turn - watching you enjoy the things you used to enjoy together and smiling.

CBR will be a lovely place to get away and to relax. I hope you have a most incredible trip!

 

[eandesmom]

Oh Kat

I am so sorry for all your loss.

Please remember that all that really matters about your trip is that you are together. There is nothing you'll forget that you can't live without, or buy. The world will go on if you miss an ADR, even if you forget to cancel it. There is always another flight. They do sell memory cards.

Grieve and take care of yourself first. Most importantly, try not to think too hard. It's ok not to. It is ok to celebrate lives lived and be sad at the loss. More than anything I hope you are dusted with pixie dust while there for some healing, you deserve it. Personally, I find magic in Mickey Bars (and Margaritas from the Ditch) .

 

[TarzansKat]

Oh, Kat...you have had a rough go of it lately. I'm so sorry to hear the news about yoru Aunt and your Godfather; I'm sorry you didn't get to see your Aunt, but that you were able to spend some time with your Godfather and let him know how much you loved him.

Thank you. I can't believe he's gone.

As you said, it takes one day at a time...and sometimes, one step at a time.

You know that CBR has shampoo/conditioner, etc., so you can probably knock that off your list (unless you are like me and spoiled with your own product). You'll get the list going...I have faith in you.

I'm sending you a big my friend.

You know what I love? Well, I love your big hug, but that goes without saying.

I have this shampoo bar from Basin, and I adore it! It's so easy to travel with, and I don't really need a separate conditioner. You made me think of it with that spoiled with your own product comment, that is so me. However, I do use Disney soap and shampoo every time I go to the gym.

Oh, Kat. I'm so sorry about your godfather. This sounds so stupid, but when it rains, it really pours, doesn't it? I'm glad you at least got to tell him you love him and say goodbye. And it's not at all selfish to wish you had that with your mom, it's only natural.

Thank you so much.

I'm so glad your Disney trip is coming up so soon, you and your family need to relax and have some fun!

I can't wait for this vacation.

I"m so sorry that you had yet another couple of good-byes to make, Kat! No matter how much you feel "prepared" they are still painful and permanent- at least on this side of life. The trip will fall into place no matter how you plan or not, just the way it's supposed to. One step at a time.

Thank you, Liesa. I appreciate your kind words.

Thoughts and prayers go out to/for you as you anticipate this trip in a good way, yet with a tinge of sorrow. You honor your mother in the way you live your life. She'll be there with you at every turn - watching you enjoy the things you used to enjoy together and smiling.

CBR will be a lovely place to get away and to relax. I hope you have a most incredible trip!

This made me cry. I am so weepy today. Rough day. I miss my mom, and I'm sad about my godfather.

Oh Kat

I am so sorry for all your loss.

Please remember that all that really matters about your trip is that you are together. There is nothing you'll forget that you can't live without, or buy. The world will go on if you miss an ADR, even if you forget to cancel it. There is always another flight. They do sell memory cards.

You're right. All that matters is that we're together, and I know that.

Grieve and take care of yourself first. Most importantly, try not to think too hard. It's ok not to. It is ok to celebrate lives lived and be sad at the loss. More than anything I hope you are dusted with pixie dust while there for some healing, you deserve it. Personally, I find magic in Mickey Bars (and Margaritas from the Ditch) .

Thank you. I'm going to give myself permission to let this go. To let the planning go, just let go. Because honestly, I just don't have it in me.

 

[Charleston Princess]

I am so sorry, Kat! Like you said, sometimes one day at a time is the only way to make it through the rough spots. And sometimes it is one hour at a time or one minute at a time.

 

[oOJulieOo]

Big hugs to you, Kat.

I'm so sorry to hear of more loss and sadness for you.