Weird Relationship Question

[cassie]

There's a reason his parents have refused to take him anymore or let him use their car. Think about it.

My thoughts too. If he's working, what does he do with his money as he lives at home? He's a user...drop him.

 

[JessicaR]

You're a responsible person, he isn't yet. Time for him to grow up. Tell him when he does to give you a call. Honestly, get on with your life and see if he catches up.

 

[C.Ann]

If you break up with him, then there is no more obligation.

You've got a guy who lives with his parents and doesn't have a car. Time to move on and find someone else.

Lots of red flags popping up with this guy. I can only imagine what he's going to pull when you guys get farther along. Sounds like he's not really respecting your time and your genorosity...that's a tell tale sign to me.

There's a reason his parents have refused to take him anymore or let him use their car. Think about it.

You are young. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Don't waste your time on someone who obviously does not respect you.

I must assume from your story that you are still pretty young and not wise in the ways of the world. OF course you are not obligated to carry him around! If his own parents don't want to pick him up or use their car, that's a huge red flag. They must has some reason, what is it? You may think this is nice-guy behavior, but it's not. He's mooching off you and you're letting him. If you persist in carrying him around and picking him up he's just going to continue. Don't allow yourself to be bullied by his little temper tantrum. If he didn't have a girlfriend who was willing to bend over backwards to fulfill his whims, how would he get around?

He needs to grow up, but so do you. You can't be a door mat unless you lay down on the floor.

All of this bears repeating.. Run - run as fast as you can!

 

[hereyago]

TMy whole family thinks that I am crazy for being angry with him. They will tell me I am not nice for not taking him in, but I have been feeling the same way..

He got out of my car and would not say anything to me. Like a little kid not getting what they want at the store. Well we talked a little bit more and somehow he talked me into taking him.. I guess I am a pushover.

First off, your family is whack for even thinking it is ok for a guy to use you like that, seriously. And if your family is so nice, let them take turns driving him around.

Second:
he has money, but keeps putting off getting his own stuff-either he is lying about it, spending the money, or doesn't want the responsibility of having his own stuff.

Third: As women, we are taught to be nice and make people happy, it is all POOP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not be anyone's doormat, do not be put up with anyone acting like a child when they don't get their way. No one is all that, I promise you!

 

[JoiseyMom]

You sound like a nice responsible young women, DUMP HIM! You need a guy who is going to be nice to you! Do things for you! A relationship is give and take...seems like you are giving and he is taking! If he was a responsible grown up, he would be offering you money and not *****ing about it. He also wouldn't be asking you to drive him all the time.

You need to find a guy worthy of you!

 

[lulubelle]

Time to say buh-bye.
You deserve better. Cars are expensive. It's not just the gas, but tires, maintenance, wear and tear, insurance. Not fair to you at all.

 

[tonilea]

Any chance he has a history of DWIs? That would explain no car - no drivers license and can't afford insurance.

There is more to this story than meets the eye. He sounds like a liar or a user or both.

You may be doing the driving, but I think you are being taken for a ride.

 

[littleteapot]

Girl, run. Very fast.

THIS...run far, run fast!

 

[bumbershoot]

My thoughts too. If he's working, what does he do with his money as he lives at home? He's a user...drop him.

Good question.

The two guys I dated who had low expenses and adequate incomes but never any money for anything FUN were users of illegal substances. Money came in, money was smoked out.

Any chance he has a history of DWIs? That would explain no car - no drivers license and can't afford insurance.

Wondered the same thing!

 

[quasar4legs]

Time to listen to your inner voice.....................the one screaming RUN.

You deserve better

 

[JoShan1719]

A 20 year old guy living at home (not too terrible...as long as he's working to build a nest egg so he can move out).

A 20 year old guy with a job who does not have a car to get to work (again, not terrible if there are public transit options for him to use regularly).

A 20 year old guy with a job, living with his parents, who has the money to buy a car but doesn't do it and uses his girlfriend as his personal chauffeur, balks at giving her any money for gas, and then gets mad if she's otherwise engaged and can't drop what she's doing on a moment's notice to take him to work, home, the beach, and anywhere else he has to go (not good).

I think you're too young to be caught up in a relationship with an immature guy like this. I don't think your family is right in making you think that you have some obligation to him. It's nice to help out your BF once in a while, but if he's using you as a personal driver, and refuses to help pay the costs, and then gets angry when you're busy, then it might be time to move on and look for a more mature date.

This! He has the money but won't buy a car? That's because he has you to drive him around. You definitely need to have that talk and set some ground rules. If you are ok with driving him some of the time let him know that you need to have his schedule X amount of time before hand so you can see if it works for you. If it does fit into your schedule let him know how much he will pay you for gas. Tell him these terms aren't negotiable. When this situation is as inconvenient for him as it is for you he'll rethink his procrastination. Good luck!

 

[Eliza32]

Don't even bother to discuss it other to say 'IT's OVER!!!'

 

[Skywalker]

Reminds me of my friend in a reverse way. She had this "boyfriend" that she would constantly have drive her to work, pick her up from work, take her places, etc, all while she was on the lookout for other guys. She always laughed about him, point blank said she was using him and said she didn't feel bad for him because he "was dumb enough to do it." She was sweet as pie to his face of course but if he refused to be at her beck and call, he would have been out the door. (She eventually got tired of him and dropped him anyway).

I'm not saying he's laughing about you behind your back. But it is time for you to stand up, refuse to be used like that, and find out if your relationship will still stand.

 

[Mkrop]

Any chance he has a history of DWIs? That would explain no car - no drivers license and can't afford insurance.

There is more to this story than meets the eye. He sounds like a liar or a user or both.

You may be doing the driving, but I think you are being taken for a ride.

This was my thought too, or too many tickets and he lost his license. There are so many red flags here it is scary.

 

[Evil Genius]

He's using you big time. Run do not walk away from this loser. What is he doing with his money that he doesn't want to buy a car or at least share gas costs? Does he pay for the entire dates you go on or do you end up paying for some of those too? Tons of red flags here don't get caught up.

 

[kirbydog48]

Dump him! You're too young to be tied down to this taker. So selfish!

 

[mjkacmom]

Girl, run. Very fast.

My thoughts exactly! I remember when DH and I were dating, we had our own apartments, and he worked in the city, and used public transportation. He fell asleep on the bus, and ended up at the wrong bus stop. He walked 3 miles home, because he didn't want to bother me. Bf needs to grow a pair.

 

[disneyfans95]

Now if it was reversed and it was the girl getting rides and being taken to the beach by her boyfriend, I wonder how many people would advice them to break up.

Honest question.

 

[JerseyJanice]

The guy is a loser. Dump him.

 

[Luvchefmic]

I agree with everyone else but would also like to add you NEED to decide that you care enough about yourself not to be used like this..otherwise you'll only replace this type of guy with another cut from the same material..your family certainly isn't helping how you feel about yourself that's for sure. 21 you have the world by the tail, so many opportunities all yours for the taking